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New Chapter Begins!

A new Chatper begins today. A new job, an ex forgotten, a new life.

This past weeekned has been amazing for me. I spent it in Houston with some really great people. It was amazing how welcome the guys and gals that I met there were.

I rolled into town late on Wed evening. The flight there was fine, i had the front row of the plane and tons of leg room. Really hot guy next to me and he slept the whole flight. I watched two movies which i can’t recall now.

Checked into the hotel which was also good. Headed out from there to meet up with David. We went downtown to some wine bar. it was very cute and met up with his friends Hillary and Jessica. Hung out there and had a few glasses of wine and chatted it up. After a while there we headed out to Hillary’s house for dinner and then out to a gay bar for Karaoke. They sang, I did not. It wasn’t very busy, but we had a really fun time. Headed back to the hotel after that.

Thursday I got up and was supposed to meet this guy to go to NASA, but he over slept so I just went alone. I had a really fun time. It was cool to see the old mission control and what not. But i wish that you could have seen more of the behind the scenes stuff. I guess there was a more detailed tour, but there’s only 13 spots on it every day. Of course they were sold out. After that I sent to the San Jacinto Monument, which was alright. Headed back to Houston after that and met up with the guy and we had dinner before he had to work. After that I headed over to Hillary and Jessica’s place and we went to this HUGE Wal-Mart of liquor! Amazing!!! From there we met up with David and did something? What did we dooooo!? I can’t recall! 🙁

Friday I got up and headed out to Brazos Bend state park and had a great time. I didn’t get to hike around as much as I would have liked to, but that’s because I have a cast on! I think that’s a good excuse. I hung out there for a while, then headed back to the Hotel, showered and then went over to meet up with Emily, Jim, and a few other people who’s names are escaping me. We went to this HUGE festival thing downtown and had a really fun time listening to bands and what now. Went back to Jim’s place and watched the fireworks which was nice. After that I headed over to Hillary and Jessica’s where David, Josh and a few others were at. We all drank way to much, sang, played rock band, talked and had a WONDERFUL time! I didn’t leave there till 4:30 and then went over to this other guys house and we cuddled and slept. It was nice!

Got up at 8:30 on Saturday and met up with David and we did all the art stuff in Houston. That was nice. We went to this one Russian Exhibit in which he had painted these HUGE canvases BLACK and then covered the interior of a church with them. Geeee, what’s that represent?! haha. We broke for a few hours and I went back and napped. Met up with him and Josh again for dinner and then went out to a few bars that night. Again a very very fun night! Got home around 2:30 and crashed.

Today I got up at 9 and packed then went out to brunch with David and Josh again then we just went around the city doing random stuff till 3 when I headed to the airport. I got on an earlier flight so that was nice and just got back to LA.

This weekend had really helped me to get over Const. I’ve realized how much of an asshole he really is and meeting this GREAT GREAT AMAZING group of people in Houston was so perfect timing. I really want to write more about how I feel about this, but I am to tired right now.

I’m also very very scared about starting the new job tomorrow!

Ok. I had a lot more I wanted to write, but I am tired. Perhaps I will come back and update with more details!

Night!

PS. Hillary Woest
Jessica Frinsco

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Twitterific

I’m on Twitter! Find me here. Apparently I signed up way back in March of 2007, but never really used it. So now it seems like EVERYONE is using it, so I jumped back on there. It’s very slow though! 🙁

So this weekend was actually TONS of fun! Friday night we threw together a quick dinner party. We had lots of fun. It was Sirin, Kris, Jason, Steve, Ryan, Christian, Christina and of course me! 🙂 I think that Ryan was a little out of place with all the gays! But we enjoyed having the straight man there. We drank wine, talked and watched the video from the Yosemite trip. Most people left by midnight, but Kris and I hung out drinking till 5am! Opps!

Saturday I rolled out of bed around noon and went shopping with Jason. Bought a bunch of new stuff for the job and went to Costco. Got home from that and we ate the rest of the Sloppy Joes and then Sirin and I headed out to the CalPhil. That was LOTS of fun! I really enjoyed it, but I am glad we got the seats we had because I would not want to be any farther back.

Got stuck in a TRAFFIC jam at MIDNIGHT on the way home from that! How can there possibly be a TRAFFIC jam at midnight on SATURDAY! And there was no construction or anything! Just traffic! REDIC!

Went to bed after that and then Sunday I got up and went rock climbing with the group. I just hung out and chatted and had a good time. After that I went up and hung out with this Actor guy for a while. He was nice, but much shorter then I would have imagined! We had a good time, but I got stuck in a 2hr parking zone, so I only stayed for that long. He had invited me to a play that night, but I was all stinky from being out in the sun all morning.

Got home and was suddenly very sad for some reason last night. I just sat on my couch and watched Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I cried through most of the movie. WTF is wrong with me!

Things for the Houston trip are coming together well. I have already been invited to 3 parties for July 4th! How exciting! I think though that I will just go to this concert with Sirin’s sister. We shall see. I also have people lined up to hang out with me on all the days that I want to do stuff. So I am excited to be going.

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New Job!

4 years and 10 days at after I started here at this company, throwing up on my first few nights, being alone in Califorinia, working midnight to 8am, to being promoted through all the ranks to someone who has done and could easily do nearly every job this company has. I will be leaving my position in just a few short weeks now.

A week ago, I received a call from a company called Gourmet Trading. They had a job for an IT Analyst and wanted me to come in to interview. I figured I’d go in and then just use the job as leverage against my current company when my yearly review came up. Well, amazingly, they offered me the job, at MORE then what I make now, plus it’s more of a management job.

Soooo last Wed, I talked to the VP and let him know that I need a review ASAP. He said he’d talk to the CEO. Well I didn’t realize that he was out of town all week! So Friday afternoon I talked to the CEO and let him know what was going on. He said that he’d think about what he could do over the weekend.

This morning he comes in and the VP and CEO talked for over an hour and then called me in. The CEO basically said. “We think that it’d be best for your career if you just took this new job, there’s not really going to be an opportunity for you to move into management here.” So there it was. My 2 weeks!

Scary! I have been freaking out all fucking weekend about this shit! I am not sure how I feel at all about this. I am so scared to leave my current job, it’s so safe and comfortable! 🙁

Anyways, this weekend I was very busy even with a gimp leg!

Friday night I went out with Sirin and we watched Sex and the City which was TONs of fun! I really enjoyed the movie. After that we drove home like crazy drunk people! It was sooo funny, we had all the windows down, blasting Mika, singing along and going 70 down Artesia/Aviation!! 😀 After we got home, Kris came over and brought a bottle of Crown Royal and Dr Pepper! So we drank all that. He was here till nearly 3:30, we watched a few movies and talked. Had a great time.

Saturday morning I got up and went house shopping with Sirin, we found some REALLY cute places! The one she has an offer in on is uber cute as well. Maybe I will consider moving in with her! Got home from that and took a nap, then went out to the street fair and ate a really late lunch and had a great time. Came home and took some drugs for my foot and napped again! That evening I went out to 1984 (the play) at the Redcat. It was not so good, but I did have lots of fun going.

Got home that night and watched the movie Zerophilia. Which was actually VERY good.. I would suggest watching it.

Sunday I got up at like 10 and just laid around the apartment all day. I was so stressing over this job thing that I really didn’t want to see/talk to anyone. I did however go out to lunch with Erick, so that was fun. I spent the whole day watching Season 1 and 2 of Weeds. Which is just fucking hilarious! I cannot believe I’ve never seen this show before in my life!

Anyways, so with this new job. I will not have any vacation time for the next 90 days. So I decided that I am just going to use the fucking tickets to Houston and go. I’ve already been chatting with some people who sound really cool so I am sure I can find people to hang out with while I am there. I am excited to be going, but it’s going to be hard to NOT call you know who…

WHICH by the way, reminds me. Back in early March, he said that he would add me to his XM so that it would be cheaper for both of us. I told him to just let me know how much I owed him. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s my gift to you.” Well I just got a letter in the mail saying that it went to collections! Little fucking asshole.

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My Life

Weekend Recap…

Ok, So I am on the plane now and thought I would take some time to write about the weekend.

Lets see, I really didn’t do to much during the week. I went to the gym with Dustin one day and no gym the rest of the week. Iw as pretty lazy. Friday I went out with Sirin and Christian to this place in downtown LA called Seven Grand. It’s a whiskey bar that Guerrilla Gay bar was hosting at. Tons and tons of fun! We hung out and talked and played pool and what not. Matt was there and I tried buying him a drink, but he declined. How sad! 🙁 OH well.

Drove back to my place after that and the three of us drank the bottle of wine that Constantine and I brought back from Austria. It was not very good. Christian spent the night and Saturday morning I drove him home and then was getting my car washed when I got the first of many bad news phone calls during the weekend. I had planned to hang out with a bunch of people and go to a gallery opening that night, but I cancelled all those plans and just ended up sitting at home all day reading and doing random computer stuff and debating about what I should do.

Sunday I got up and went rock climbing. It was just me and Jerry setting up so that was fun. We talked a lot and he taught me some interesting stuff. Jenny and Megan showed up and some other guy. We all did some rock climbing on three different climbs. I made it to the top of two of them and then failed on the last one. The last one is called Birdshit crack and I have yet to make it up that one. There’s this weird move you are doing because you’re coming out of this crack and have to turn and get yourself up somehow. Anyways, it’s hard to explian, but I just can’t keep my footing on it. Very annoying.

Had a great time rock climbing, but I got two calls during that with more bad news. After climbing we went up and had a picnic up on this mountian thing and just chatted and stuff. Lots of fun!

Drove home after that, called Constantine on my way home and of course he didn’t answer. I was debating about what to do and ended up just calling my boss and he said to go home and work from there. So I bought the tickets and then freaked out because my flight left at 5am Monday morning and this was 5pm Sunday night. So I had to arrange someone to take care of the cats and drive me to the airport and I had to pack everything. What a mess. I was freaking out.

My friend Rob came over and we hung out for like 45 minutes and watched some TV and caught up. It was relaxing to have him chill with me. He’s very laid back and cool.

Called Constantine again and left another message about me being in Houston on Monday for 3 hours and seeing if he wanted to have coffee or something.

He called back a little later and we talked. I was very angry with him and with everything else that’s going on and called him an asshole. As soon as it came out I felt so horrible. I wish I could have taken it back, rewind the tape…I didn’t know what to do. We talked about a lot of random things. Sounds like he’s having a great time in Houston, sounds like he’s moving on and forgetting about me and all the great times we had together. When I got back from Lone Pine….(stop me if I wrote about this already??) anyways, I noticed that someone from houston opera house and Halliburton had both spent a LARGE amount of time reading EVERY entry about Constantine and I all the way back to when we first met. I find this very very strange, why are they reading about all this a month after it happened. Why are they spending so much time going back and reading about everything that’s happened… I don’t get it. He said he knew they had done it. Sirin has her theory, but I am guessing that’s not the case.

Anyways… Being in Houston, being so close and yet so far away from him. In the short month I feel like we’ve already grown so far apart. I’m moving on very well, but with all this shit going on, I just want him back. I want to hear his voice and have him comfort me. After readin “Call me by your name”. I keep hoping that he’ll show up in Iowa, we’ll see each other from across the room, run into each other’s arms and kiss and swing each other around and be so happy (ala the wedding scene). I kept hoping while I was waiting in Houston that he would show up at the gate and say. “I’m comging with you”. I know that he won’t, but I need support right now, I could really use someone to lean on. To cry on his shoulder, to hold him and have it feel like everything will be ok. I wish he could be there in Iowa, to sit in the hot tub, watch the sky and talk about my grandpa with me.

My crying has been so random lately. I just can’t stop it. It’s very annoying.

On a funny note. There is this spanish couple in the seat infront of me on this flight, they have lunch on this flight (amazing!) anyways, they don’t speak ANY English, the flight attendant was aksing everyone if they knew how to say “Turkey” or “Ham” in spanish. No one knew. She had chicken, beef and fish on her little translation card, but no Turkey or beef. Anyways she started making farm sounds. It was really funny. Then they answered by mimicing the sounds. Very entertaining. lol. On the flight from LAX to Houston, I had the whole exit row to myself. That was very nice. 🙂

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My Life

Living My Life…

I’m getting along pretty good really. I do have my days, I get sad, I cry a little, I have to resist calling him and screaming at him or crying my eyes out. But I am having fun again and enjoying things more.

This week has been very very busy. Lets see, I have to try and remember everything I did.

Monday, I worked. I am doing this HUGE project which is an online web-store for my company, so things are very hectic and we are trying to roll it out very fast. That night I went to the gym and then had a dinner/birthday party for this guy Cj that I met a few weeks ago. He’s a flight attendant and we met up with his flight attendant friends for dinner. His friends were very bitchy and annoying and the whole night they talked about being flight attendants. Erick came over that night and we had a very long discussion. He’s STILL lying to me about whatever happened between him and Constantine, I am not an idiot and I found proof that the story he is telling me did not happen WHEN he told me it did. Also he told me that after a week of hinting at what I knew, he finally figured it out on his own. But he then admitted that he talked to Constantine THE NIGHT I first brought it up with him asking Const, “How does he know what happened”….So I am not sure what to do with him, if we should try and be friends or not. I do not deal with liars and cheats. If he wants to be friends, he’s going to have to do a lot to show me that I can trust him again.

Tuesday, work, gym, I did something that night, I think maybe I hung out with Sirin or something? It was a pretty laid back night.

Wed I got home and went to the gym again and then went up to WeHo to meet up with Steve for Bingo. Lots of fun there, some cute boys and what not, late night. This was one of those nights I was very sad towards the end, on the walk back to the car I was nearly in tears. Ugh! I did win at Bingo though so that was exciting! I won at this game called “Rim Job” of course! hahah.

Thursday I went rock climbing with Mok which was lots of fun. I bought a 10-punch card to this indoor rock gym. We also met this really hot guy there named Adam. I hope that I run into him again while we are there. He seemed really nice and very cute. Of course there were also lots of other REALLY hot guys there shirtless and what not. So that was exciting. I got home after that and Sirin came over and we drank wine and chatted and had a great time, it was another late night for me.

Friday I went to the gym again, came home and watched this horrible movie called Tan Lines. It’s about this group of Stoner surfer boys from Australia. One of the guys is kinda hot, the rest are nasty, the movie is really fucked up at times (drinking tea and getting a blow job?), the sex scenes are horrible. I would not suggest watching it. I took a nap after that and then picked Jason up to go to The Factory again. We stopped at Chad and Ronnie’s house on the way up there and picked them up. The factory was a mess Friday night. First the bar tender was a complete ass to me, so I flipped him off, then Jason and Chad were all over each other, so I was the fifth wheel, they ditched me and just left to go to another bar which was annoying, they wouldn’t give free glasses of water, only a $4 bottle of water that you can buy at a fucking gas station for $0.69! Very annoying. We left at like 2ish and then drove and got food and hung out at Chad’s house for a while then drove home. I think I got to bed about 4:30 that night.

I was in a pretty bad mood anyways the whole night because on the drive up there Jason and I were talking and we have both decided that there is obviously some other guy down there in Houston with Const. All the signs are there, and this guy has obviously been around for a while now. Very annoying. I am also very hurt that he deleted all the facebook comments that I have left him over the months together. On the drive home, Jason and I were talking again and I said that I don’t feel like I belong here. I don’t think I am going to find the type of guy that I am looking for here. I don’t understand why guys can’t just be open and honest and want a caring loving relationship. Why do they only follow the cock? I just don’t get it. I am so sick of people lying to me and cheating on me. I am an honest and caring person and have very strong values. Where’s the guy for me? Anyways in a rare caring and emotional moment Jason was like. “I think you belong here” so that was nice of him.

In spite of all that, I still had a fun time on Friday night.

Got up Saturday morning and went to the beach for a few hours, it was UNGODLY hot here all weekend long. The beach was WAY to hot and the water was WAY to cold. So I went home, watched Hairspray which was very good and then took a nap. Got up that evening and headed up to Santa Monica for dinner with Tal. We had a really fun time and he was looking very cute that night. We ate at this place called Asahi Ramen which was very good. On my way home this hot 18 year old that I know called me and wanted to hang out, I was like a block away from his house so I picked him up and we headed back to my place. Watched But I’m a cheerleader, made out a little and then I drove him home.

Sunday I got up early and headed out to go Rock Climbing. For some reason I had a lot of energy that day so I did a lot of climbing. We also did this new climb called A-Frame which was pretty hard. My fingers were very tired by that time, so I never made it to the top of that one. I also got pretty beat up on Birdshit crack, I just couldn’t get my leg up high enough to push up the rest of the way, so I was hanging there by just my arms for a little bit which was very painful because your whole arm is jammed in this crack between sandstone which really rips up your skin. We had a great time anyways. Went to lunch after that and talked about the Death Valley trip which is coming up next weekend. I found out that I may have to drive myself up there, which is very annoying. I assumed I’d be able to ride with someone. UGH!

Drove home after that, took another nap and then headed down to Newport Beach. I had an excellent night and saw this movie called The Indian which was very good. Crashed the night at Dustin’s house.

Sunday was supposed to be Const and my day to chat. I called him on my way down to Newport Beach and he didn’t answer, and never called back. I wonder if he ever will. I know I shouldn’t, but every day I still hope that he will call and say. “I did the wrong thing, I miss you so much” or that he’ll show up at my door with flowers or something. Every time I hear a front door close in my apartment building, I have a small hope that it’ll be him letting himself in again, to come and cuddle in my bed, to laugh and chat over dinner, to talk about our days. Anything to show that he cares even the slightest. But like I said, it’s very clear he’s found some guy down there.

Honestly, not to sound like an asshole. But I don’t think anyone who’s dated me will find someone who will treat them with as much respect and caring as I do for someone. Sure, I’m a little jealous sometimes, and I might require a little to much time/work, but honestly it’s only because I care about someone. It’s only because I like talking to them and caring about them and hearing about what’s going on in that person’s life. I give them all so much, why can’t I find someone who will give it all back to me.

Anyways. I am moving on, I’m having fun and I’m getting back out there. I’m keeping myself very very busy and having a great time!

Adios!