I’m getting along pretty good really. I do have my days, I get sad, I cry a little, I have to resist calling him and screaming at him or crying my eyes out. But I am having fun again and enjoying things more.
This week has been very very busy. Lets see, I have to try and remember everything I did.
Monday, I worked. I am doing this HUGE project which is an online web-store for my company, so things are very hectic and we are trying to roll it out very fast. That night I went to the gym and then had a dinner/birthday party for this guy Cj that I met a few weeks ago. He’s a flight attendant and we met up with his flight attendant friends for dinner. His friends were very bitchy and annoying and the whole night they talked about being flight attendants. Erick came over that night and we had a very long discussion. He’s STILL lying to me about whatever happened between him and Constantine, I am not an idiot and I found proof that the story he is telling me did not happen WHEN he told me it did. Also he told me that after a week of hinting at what I knew, he finally figured it out on his own. But he then admitted that he talked to Constantine THE NIGHT I first brought it up with him asking Const, “How does he know what happened”….So I am not sure what to do with him, if we should try and be friends or not. I do not deal with liars and cheats. If he wants to be friends, he’s going to have to do a lot to show me that I can trust him again.
Tuesday, work, gym, I did something that night, I think maybe I hung out with Sirin or something? It was a pretty laid back night.
Wed I got home and went to the gym again and then went up to WeHo to meet up with Steve for Bingo. Lots of fun there, some cute boys and what not, late night. This was one of those nights I was very sad towards the end, on the walk back to the car I was nearly in tears. Ugh! I did win at Bingo though so that was exciting! I won at this game called “Rim Job” of course! hahah.
Thursday I went rock climbing with Mok which was lots of fun. I bought a 10-punch card to this indoor rock gym. We also met this really hot guy there named Adam. I hope that I run into him again while we are there. He seemed really nice and very cute. Of course there were also lots of other REALLY hot guys there shirtless and what not. So that was exciting. I got home after that and Sirin came over and we drank wine and chatted and had a great time, it was another late night for me.
Friday I went to the gym again, came home and watched this horrible movie called Tan Lines. It’s about this group of Stoner surfer boys from Australia. One of the guys is kinda hot, the rest are nasty, the movie is really fucked up at times (drinking tea and getting a blow job?), the sex scenes are horrible. I would not suggest watching it. I took a nap after that and then picked Jason up to go to The Factory again. We stopped at Chad and Ronnie’s house on the way up there and picked them up. The factory was a mess Friday night. First the bar tender was a complete ass to me, so I flipped him off, then Jason and Chad were all over each other, so I was the fifth wheel, they ditched me and just left to go to another bar which was annoying, they wouldn’t give free glasses of water, only a $4 bottle of water that you can buy at a fucking gas station for $0.69! Very annoying. We left at like 2ish and then drove and got food and hung out at Chad’s house for a while then drove home. I think I got to bed about 4:30 that night.
I was in a pretty bad mood anyways the whole night because on the drive up there Jason and I were talking and we have both decided that there is obviously some other guy down there in Houston with Const. All the signs are there, and this guy has obviously been around for a while now. Very annoying. I am also very hurt that he deleted all the facebook comments that I have left him over the months together. On the drive home, Jason and I were talking again and I said that I don’t feel like I belong here. I don’t think I am going to find the type of guy that I am looking for here. I don’t understand why guys can’t just be open and honest and want a caring loving relationship. Why do they only follow the cock? I just don’t get it. I am so sick of people lying to me and cheating on me. I am an honest and caring person and have very strong values. Where’s the guy for me? Anyways in a rare caring and emotional moment Jason was like. “I think you belong here” so that was nice of him.
In spite of all that, I still had a fun time on Friday night.
Got up Saturday morning and went to the beach for a few hours, it was UNGODLY hot here all weekend long. The beach was WAY to hot and the water was WAY to cold. So I went home, watched Hairspray which was very good and then took a nap. Got up that evening and headed up to Santa Monica for dinner with Tal. We had a really fun time and he was looking very cute that night. We ate at this place called Asahi Ramen which was very good. On my way home this hot 18 year old that I know called me and wanted to hang out, I was like a block away from his house so I picked him up and we headed back to my place. Watched But I’m a cheerleader, made out a little and then I drove him home.
Sunday I got up early and headed out to go Rock Climbing. For some reason I had a lot of energy that day so I did a lot of climbing. We also did this new climb called A-Frame which was pretty hard. My fingers were very tired by that time, so I never made it to the top of that one. I also got pretty beat up on Birdshit crack, I just couldn’t get my leg up high enough to push up the rest of the way, so I was hanging there by just my arms for a little bit which was very painful because your whole arm is jammed in this crack between sandstone which really rips up your skin. We had a great time anyways. Went to lunch after that and talked about the Death Valley trip which is coming up next weekend. I found out that I may have to drive myself up there, which is very annoying. I assumed I’d be able to ride with someone. UGH!
Drove home after that, took another nap and then headed down to Newport Beach. I had an excellent night and saw this movie called The Indian which was very good. Crashed the night at Dustin’s house.
Sunday was supposed to be Const and my day to chat. I called him on my way down to Newport Beach and he didn’t answer, and never called back. I wonder if he ever will. I know I shouldn’t, but every day I still hope that he will call and say. “I did the wrong thing, I miss you so much” or that he’ll show up at my door with flowers or something. Every time I hear a front door close in my apartment building, I have a small hope that it’ll be him letting himself in again, to come and cuddle in my bed, to laugh and chat over dinner, to talk about our days. Anything to show that he cares even the slightest. But like I said, it’s very clear he’s found some guy down there.
Honestly, not to sound like an asshole. But I don’t think anyone who’s dated me will find someone who will treat them with as much respect and caring as I do for someone. Sure, I’m a little jealous sometimes, and I might require a little to much time/work, but honestly it’s only because I care about someone. It’s only because I like talking to them and caring about them and hearing about what’s going on in that person’s life. I give them all so much, why can’t I find someone who will give it all back to me.
Anyways. I am moving on, I’m having fun and I’m getting back out there. I’m keeping myself very very busy and having a great time!