Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me! 43 this year, I spent yesterday getting an IV infusion of Antibitoics cause I’ve been pooping like every hour. That night the other boat came over and made pizza and then they had tres Leche cake! Yum!

I wrote a post back in 2003 on my birthday with some old photos. Take a look at it cause we’re going to reminisce a bit.

All those photos were taken at my grandparents house in Lenox, those were some of the bet memories I have of childhood. The weeks of time I would get to spend down there with them and my cousin. Every trip would start and end the same. My parents would drive half way to Osceola, there was a Pizza Hut right off the freeway and we’d meet my grandparents there and have pizza. I always loved those family pizza nights at Pizza Hut in the 90’s. Deep Dish meat lovers, bread sticks, unlimited soda. I remember one time my dad and grandpa were actually pulling the waitresses arms in different directions trying to get her to give them the bill. And when ever I had a book-it award, I got my own pizza. Sometimes if it was a really special occasion we’d stop at the prime rib restaurant.

From there, we’d ride with the grandparents down to Lenox, the smell of their car was always unique. Usually grandpa would insist on driving his pickup truck, so it’d be me in the middle with my grandparents on each side. Grandpa would always have the CB radio on, so I’d try and talk to the truckers as we drove past. The cigarette tray was always full of candy. Driving down the rural roads of iowa with the windows down in summer, the smells of corn and soybeans growing, the small towns wizzing by.

We’d get to their house and the first thing would always be fresh baked cookies. Grandma would have the cookie jar loaded up to the brim with ranger cookies and I’d grab a couple of them! I’d always be so excited to see Rebecca and hang out with her.

During the summer (the first picture), we’d spend all day and night together. Sometimes my school would let out earlier then hers, so I’d have to spend the days waiting for her then grandpa and I would go pick her up at school. We’d go bike riding, roller blading. Grandma would come home from work noon-1pm and make us lunch. Then at 1pm we’d rush off to the community pool and spend the whole afternoon there. Grandpa would always give us $1 each. It was $0.25 to get into the pool… Then we’d save the other $0.75 for treats at the pharmacy, the pharmacy in town still had an old fashion soda bar with drinks and ice cream. Depending on what we wanted that day, we’d either get a Zombie drink, or sometimes we’d split the cost of a huge sunday which was only $1.50!

Grandpa always told us not to get sundays’ up there, but we’d sneak them in sometimes. Somehow he always found out!

We’d go see Granny at the nursing home, visit GG at her house. Ride our bikes out to the local lakes and ponds. Grandpa would put us in the back of his pickup and we’d drive around looking for soda cans.. He’d spot one and pull over then one of us would hop out and grab it. IT was always really exciting when he’d miss one that we would see. We’d yell at him to STOP so we could go grab it.

Grandpa had an office in the basement and grandma did crafts down there too, she had a store called “the country goose”. So we’d spend time “working” and we’d have our own little craft days and try to sell them in her craft store.

We’d always be home by dinner time, in Lenox there’s a loud whistle that blows every day, 8am, noon, 1pm, 5pm. We knew to be home by the 5pm whistle. Grandma would have dinner cooking, always something delicious like fried pork chops and gravy or hamburgers with fresh tomatoes from the garden.

Once a week, grandpa would bring back Casey’ doughnuts for us and on Wednesdays (AND SATURDAY if I was still there!) the local restaurant had biscuits and gravy. It was always a huge treat for us when grandpa would take us up there for that.

Sometimes this rolling pizza shop (it was in the back of a semi) would come into town and grandpa would send us up there to get a pizza for dinner.

I miss those simpler days, the days of no cares or worries, not having to think about eating too many cookies. Just enjoying life as a kid, running around town. I miss the sound of my grandpa’s voice asking us to go get him another beer. The smell of their house.

Life has gone by too quickly and I want to have those same sorts of memories today, with what I’m doing now. But I just feel like even though these are amazing adventures and great stories, nothing is going to live up to the same memories as those times at my grandpa and grandma’s house. Spending those few weeks every summer with them.

Maybe I just need to figure out how to enjoy those more simple things again.

Exciting time in Georgetown

Well just left Georgetown… I’ll be back down here around Feb 20th.

It was an exciting time down there for sure, there’s a lot going on. The first couple days we were there we just hiked, beach, bar, etc.

Then we moved to another anchorage and went to this HUGE sandbar which was pretty awesome to watch get swallowed back up by the ocean. I have to time it better next time so that I can see it appear from the ocean!

Then we moved back to the same general area we started in, Another Summer and No Worries who I had met in Charleston were both there. I got to hang out with the boys from Another Summer which was tons of fun.

Hanging with them really makes me WANT kids more. They are so fun and keep me youthful. I think this Is why I like hanging out with younger guys in general. Cause I get to do more fun stuff. etc.

I can for sure though tell my body is getting old.

Not much else really to report. Work is stupid, this new guy is an idiot.

Having a lot of fun but still just want to go home. Not sure wha ti should do next year.

I feel like astra hates it.

Made it to George Town

We made it to George Town! It’s been a heck of a trip but I’m here! This is as far south as I can go with my insurance.

I had therapy the other day and my therapist was like ‘you’re unhappy here, you’re unhappy in SF, figure it out’. not exactly, he was way nicer about it but that was basically the point.

I’m doing something amaaaazing. I just always come back to not having a partner to do it with. I am traveling with this other boat and it’s been so nice having them around. There’s a straight couple on the boat and one gay guy. the straight couple is so cute working together, kissing each other, etc. I just want that.

The gay guy has been on my boat the past two days, it’s been great having someone here to help with stuff. talking about stuff, doing dishes, etc. Even though nothing happened between us, he sleeps in another bed, etc. But it’s just nice having that companion here.

When I was in SF, I was always unhappy, dreaming about what I could be doing. Unhappy that Charles could never take time off work to go do fun things. Unhappy that we couldn’t’ plan things. But then here I am doing something super amazing and all I want is to be back in our apartment, cuddling, going out to bars, cooking dinner for him, etc.

now that I’ve had this experience, I think I’ll be happier being more “domestic” like that. But it has shown me that I _NEED_ to get out, have adventures, travel, etc. Even if it’s just weekend trips to enjoy life.

I don’t want to just “sit” at home all the time. I want to get out and do things. But I also think that I’ll be more accepting of just being home in SF or wherever with my partner.

I was telling all this stuff to Sean the other day and he was like “you’re describing my life, it can also be lonely”… But that’s also because Sean doesn’t go out and do stuff on his own during the day.

James and Jay met the new guy yesterday…. wonder how that went. Wonder what he’s like.

“Im feeling sick”

So this morning I’m feeling a bit sick.

There’s this guy I’ve been chatting with for a few months now. We FT every day, text throughout the day. etc. We’re not “BFs” or anything super serious, but I would still expect a little bit of interest from someone I chat with this much.

He’s been sick a few times since we started chatting, I always ask something like “oh no, what’s wrong”; or you know, some sort of compassion for it or ask if there’s something I can do or be like just generally “drink some water” or even a basic “feel better”

But this morning, I text the guy when I woke up that I was feeling sick. Didn’t even ask “what’s the matter” or anything.

He literally made it about himself “Me too, my eye is getting inflamed again”.

Total Charles vibes in that way.

Kinda lost interested now in that.

Guests are gone.. Back to loneliness

Guests are gone and I’m back to being lonely again… I’m still hanging out with that other boat but starting to feel like I’m spending too much time with them or encroaching on them a bit…

It’s weird, like when I’m with people, I just want to be alone. When I’m alone, I want to be with people. WTF make up your mind Christopher. What I really want is just to be with ONE person… I just want to share this experience with one person, spend time with them, cuddle with them, fuck, make dinners, go snorkeling. Plan our life and times together.

I have to keep reminding myself I’m in paradise, doing what a lot of people only dream about doing. But at the same time. I feel just like shit. Don’t want to do anything, just want to lay in bed all day.

I def bought WAY too much food for this trip. I don’t think I need to buy any food at all other than fresh veggies again until I get back to the USA.

Starting to freak out a bit about work, IE am I going to have enough money to live life with.

What do I do when I get back to the USA, where do I live, how do I survive, etc. Already starting to think about my trek back. Where do I land, how much time do I spend between the boat and living on land. Do I drive back to CA again?

Hut and Sean invited me to Norway in May. Nathan and Mike invited me to Greece in August. Need to start planning this shit out and how can I afford it.

I have four apartments empty for the past month and that’s freaking me out a bit.

Fucking be happy Christopher…. You’ve achieved so much. Live it up! What are you complaining about…

I’m sitting here looking out at Crystal blue waters and complaining.