Christmas in Iowa


Here I am back at work! 🙁 Ugh. I so don’t wanna be there.

Yesterday was so long. Got up early to do stuff and ended up not having to leave the house till 10! I could have slept in. I’m not sure why, but the last few days I have been UBER sleepy! My dad and I went to look at some houses, which I think are really cute! The only problem is that the guy is asking WAY to much for them. $185k. He needs to drop it to the $150k range to make it feasible. Went to the airport and had no problems getting checked in and through security in like 10 minutes. Sat around the airport and watched The Color Purple. Which was pretty good.

Got on the flight from DSM to STL and slept pretty much the WHOLE flight. Got into STL and my flight to LAX was delayed like an hour.

So anyways, the rest of the week was great. Christmas night I went out with the gang as per usual to The Blazing Saddle. It was of course a fun disaster! 🙂 We even had a new person join this year! Amanda F from our HS. She was tons of fun! We ended up getting home at like 3:30ish. Made a fool of myself I’m sure at the Saddle but, who cares it was fun! 🙂

Friday I got up and just lounged around the house, I was pretty hung over. Wasn’t going to go out that night but I had met this really cute guy who wanted to hang out. So I headed over and picked him up and we went out to dinner at Java Joes and then met up with a bunch of his friends. Meeting his friends was a little AWK but I still had a ton of fun. We went to a few different bars including Locust Tap, 101 (SCARY!), El Bait Shop (tons of fun, including the attached 70’s bar!) and again the Saddle where we lost the girls, very annoying. I also found this really good beer called 312 Wonderful!

So anyways, I drove him home and spent the night there at his house which was a total crazyness. His dad was still up when we got there so it was like an undercover operation to get me into the house! LOL. Got up early the next morning and found out that we got a TON of freezing rain overnight. My car was COVERED in ice! So I had to drive home in that shit.

Got home only to find out that we weren’t going to go to the farm for Christmas, meaning I could have slept in more at his house. Instead I just lounged around the house all day and did nothing. That night I met up with the Adam again to go see Valkyrie. It was an amazing movie! Drove him home again and sat in his living room talking for a little bit. Got back to the parents house around 2ish.

I really enjoyed the guy, he’s very nice and very cute… I think he intrigues me most because he really compliments who I am. He’s artistic and outgoing and what not. Problems are that A) he lives in Chicago and B) has no money to come visit. He honestly reminds me a lot of Andrew, which I’m not sure good or bad? I’m hoping that maybe I can go to Chicago to visit for a weekend. I’m not to sure what will come of it all..

It was also a very sad trip home for me. First time being back to the family since Grandpa’s passing and I had a pretty hard time dealing with it. There were many times where I was holding back tears. Even at random times as I was out with friends or just sitting at home. Opening presents at Grandma’s house one of the last ones was a gift for the three grandchildren. It said “From: Grandpa” and it was a 50-state quarter set. My grandpa always collected coins and one thing we always knew we’d get was a mint set every year. This was the last gift from him, it was only 3 quarters away from being completed when he died.

Anyways, I wish that I could have spent more time back home and had more free time. I didn’t get to see many of the friends that I usually hang out with, never got to sit in the hot tub, and didn’t get to do some of the stuff that I typically do back home.

Overall it was a great trip home!

Merry Christmas EVERYONE!

Merry Christmas!

It’s been a busy busy week here in Iowa. TONS of stuff going on.

Got some AMAZING news last Friday at work. I got my approval for the $500,000 software implementation. I also had a meeting with the CEO regarding the idiot CFO and some other plans I had for the company. So that was GREAT!

Saturday I got back to Iowa with noooo problems what so ever on the flights! Which was GREAT. Got home and went to bed.

Sunday I got up and went out with Angel and had a great time. Monday went to gym with mother and then wondered around all day long and went out and did something that night. Tuesday I drove mom to work and went around doing stuff. Also went out that night with Angel, then the saddle where I met this REALLY cute/nice guy who’s a comedian from Chicago. We ended up going back to his parents house and talking/cuddling till 4am! I left his house to 3 inches of FRESH snow and TONS more coming down. Had to drive home in that shit, no plowed roads or anything, it was SCARY. Got all the way home and then almost ditched the jeep in my parents drive way. Did a 360! LOL.

Wed got up at 7:30 and drove mom to work, then ran around doing stuff that day and then drove down to grandma’s house with the aunt and cousin. Lots of fun there. We went out and visited with the Great uncle, and great Grandma. It’s amazing to hear their stories and I hope that I’m in half as good of health as my great grandma is when i’m her age! It’s also really amazing to see the different between my 76 year old Great Uncle and my 97 year old Great grandma. My uncle is in VERY poor heatlh, whereas she is in amazing health still!

Ok. Gotta go help the family. Adios y’all!

So Alone..

I feel so alone right now… I am not sure why. I have met some really fun new friends here in Redondo Beach. I’ve been keeping really busy with things, I went out all night Friday night, was busy all day Saturday except for a few hours where I took a nap and then will be busy pretty much all day Sunday.

But I still feel just so alone.

I keep killing myself, yelling at myself for not going back to Iowa sooner when things were getting worse with my grandpa. I feel like such an asshole to wait and get work done and not spend the extra money.

If only I had gone a day earlier. I could have had a day with grandpa. If only I had spent the extra $300, I could have had an hour with him… If only. I hate myself for not going. For not getting the chance to say goodbye. For not getting the chance to tell him how much I am going to miss him.

I hate that he’s gone and that he won’t be at my wedding, to meet my boyfriends. He won’t be there to tell how they shoved a camera up his dick. lol. It hurts me every time I call my grandma and he doesn’t answer the phone.

I just feel so alone…


Yay. As of today, I’ve made $300,000 over my lifetime! How fun. Now if only I knew where it all went! I have 25% of it saved, so that’s good I suppose. But still, I’d like to have more of it around!

This week has been another busy one. Work work work basically, but also going out and doing stuff.

Monday, I was supposed to go over to my Grandma’s house for her birthday, but my mother decided she didn’t want to drive there, so I hung out with Angel, went to dinner at Okaboji Grill and had a really hot waiter. He sat with us most of the time we were there and chatted about random stuff. I left him my business card, but he never called. 🙁 After that we went and saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It was a thrilling movie, but not very good. There was one point where you could CLEARLY see the safety harness of one of the main characters. Went back to her place after that and hung out and then went home.

Tuesday I worked, went out to lunch with Beak at Hu-Hot which was delicious, although our waitress there was dumber then a door knob. Instead of a tip, I wrote in “Bad Service”. lol. Went rock climbing that evening, lots of really hot boys there! Yum yum! I can’t wait till Keira turns 5, I’m totally going to buy her a membership to one of the 3 month long camps they have. After that I went out and did stuff, can’t remember what though. I think I went to Tear it up Tuesday at the Saddle.

Wed I went to Tequila Mexican with Angel, Rick and some other guy. Our waiter was overly gay, but we had tons of fun drinking $1 Margaritas and chatting it up. The waiter was totally hitting on me and shit. Crazyness! After that I went over and met up with this guy Jeremy. He sent me a pic of him that he said was just few years old and he had put on “a few pounds”. So I get over there and the guy is probably 100 pounds heavier then what his pic was. So I’m like, whatever we can hang out for a bit. So we start watching this movie Hostel. About 30 minutes into it, I get up and just walk out. LOL. Really, WTF is wrong with people.

Apparently, I’m an “unbelievably caring guy”. If only someone would realize that and care about me back! 🙁

Thursday I went rock climbing again, I was sooooooo tired, my fingers were killing me, but I was trying out some new moves and stuff and had a good time. I have also been trying to master this one bouldering wall. You start on a vertical wall, switch over to a horizontal wall and then back to a vertical wall. I can get out to the end of the horizontal part, but I cannot make it back to the vertical transition. I lose my grip right on that. I will master it tomorrow! Which is my last chance to try!

Got home from that and chatted with my friend Chris down in Corning. He talked me into coming down and hanging out for the night, so I made the trek down there. He’s a bit of a weather nerd, and last night we had some CRAZY fucking storms down in southern Iowa with tornadoes just 30 miles away, his weather radio was going off all night! It scared the shit out of me when it went off at 4:15am this morning! Anyways, we went out to the lake when I first got there and went hiking and then back to his place where we watched Sugar, which I really didn’t like that much, then we tried watching Gattaca but ended up just laying on the couch watching the lightening and rain! Didn’t get to bed till almost 3am then had to get up early this morning to come over to my Grandma’s house.

I get here and she’s not even here and her cell phone is on the table! Crazy woman!

Tonight I am going out with my cousin to the Saddle again and then tomorrow I am going shooting with my dad.

I leave on Sunday, I am excited to be back in LA, but at the same time I don’t want to leave here. I think that this next week I will be spending a lot of time alone in my apartment, which I feel is very needed. Though, not sure how much time I will really have because I must plan for this camping trip which we leave for on Thursday!

Speaking of camping, there is talk with the rock climbing group of a camping trip out to Santa Cruz Island this summer. I am very excited for that!

Funeral Stuff

So, it’s been one LONG LONG week.

I got into Omaha at 3pm. As I was walking into the baggage claim area I spotted my mother on the phone… I walk over to her and she tells me the news… :'( Lots of crying in the airport. Drove to the grandparents house and lots of crazyness. The week has really just been a blur. Tons of people in and out of the house, lots of people sleeping here, people brining fooooood and I mean TONS and TONS of food. One day we had 5 people bring lunch over. I honestly can’t remember much of what else has happened.

One morning I was a mess and texted Constantine that “I wish you could be here.” Because I was really needing someone to talk to besides family and stuff here and someone who knew just how much grandpa meant to me. The jerk never replied. You’d think of all people, he would at least CALL and talk to me a little bit. He knows how much I cared about grandpa. Ugh. Really, I have had some of the most random people send emails or call, people I haven’t talked to in years. And yet he couldn’t. Very annoying.

Wed morning we had the private family viewing which was nice. Grandpa looked really good. Thursday was the public viewing which had TONS and tons of people there. After wards the pastor came and chatted with the family and we all sat around talking about grandpa and sharing stories and stuff. I was bawling my eyes out there.

Friday morning was the funeral and of course that was very sad. My grandpa used to drive around town every morning, and you could always count on seeing his truck come around the corner, the pastor opened with that. He said that he always looked forward to Kenny driving by in the morning. He worked in all the stories that we had told the night before, and the buckets, rhubarb, bukeyes, and biscuits and gravy. We cried and we laughed, the church was packed.

After that we drove out to the cemetery. We were lead out by the Lenox Emergency Services and drove down main street and past the house. It was so sad. Got out there and he had the full honor guard and they did the whole flag folding and then we released some balloons. After taps was played all the firefighters pagers went off and they put out a last call for kenny black. The woman doing it could barely make it through. Even the funeral director broke down crying when he was trying to explain it to the family before hand. That went to the whole county which was very neat. The whole thing was just amazing to see how many people came.

My grandma was thinking that she’d get maybe 3 or 4 hundred for the memorials, but so far we have $1,700 already! She’s giving money to the Ambulance, Fire and School and then also going to create a Scholarship in his name.

Last night we all got a little crazy with my two aunts and my cousin and went out to the grave a few times and drank JB Whiskey and stuff. It was fun and refreshing.

Today we are all just chilling and trying to clean up the house and stuff and are going out to a nice place for dinner. I am staying till Monday and then going home.

Later all.