One More Week…

What a LONG weekend… But very very good.

This update is going to be really long… (Everyone ready?)

Today…

Ok, first I’d like to complain about this morning so far. I got up late and came into work late, mostly because I’m only working 8 hours a day this week, because I’m not taking any days off, so yeah. No need to work 10 hours and have a whole day off or anything.

Well over the weekend Barb had opened an attachment with a virus, so I had to take care of that first thing this morning… Luckily I couldn’t sleep Saturday night (more on this later) and had sent her instructions as to what to do. So when I got here she was already taking care of that. Not that big of a deal really.

So I came into my office and was doing my normal stuff, then Nazanin comes in and she’s like, “What’s the Vermont Password.” and I’m like, “It’s the same it’s been for months now.” And then she’s like, “Well I can’t log in.”

Grrr, she’s just so stupid. So then I tell her the password, and she’s like, “It’s supposed to be 3’s and not E’s”.

Now, I don’t remember if I bitched about it when it was all happening, but I WANTED the 3’s and she insisted on the E’s in the password. So then she get’s all bitchy about it and goes literaly grabs my keyboard and changes it herself.

Then she’s like, “Gary’s having e-mail problems.” So I had to sit here and fix that while she stood over my shoulder. I really hate when she does that. Anyways, fixed that then she’s like, “Is there going to be a good fix for this soon.”

At this point I was already wanting to slap her, because I haven’t beem sleeping well, I’m tried, cranky and very bitchy… So with her asking that I just wanted to drop kick her out of my office. So I tell her YET AGAIN, that as soon as Barb goes through this list of accounts that I have that need to be deleted, we can switch over to Axiom, which has EVERYTHING she wants changed, changed.

Grrr.

Anyways, now off to start the weekend… Which was probably one of the most fun and also saddest weekends I’ve had in a LONG time!

Thursday…

Thursday night Andrew came up, and I knew that he’d be hungry by the time that he got here, so I made the Hamburger Helper that I’ve had in my apartment forever. I don’t really like it, and it’s too much for me to eat at once, so I thought it’d be a good time to get rid of it. I also made a peanut pie so that he could try that.

He got here and supper was just getting done, so we hugged and talked for a few minutes then ate supper. After we ate Jamie and Bryce called and asked if we wanted to go over there for a while to hang out and have a few beers. I was like, “Sure, why not.” Though I didn’t think we’d actually drink too much “beer” since I don’t like it. I figured Andrew and I would go over, have a good time and they would drink.

Well we get there and we hung around talking some. Bryce has a SWEET ass apartment. I really wish mine were that nice! Perhaps he can come decorate for me! lol. After a while, Bryce asked us what we wanted to drink and then proceeded to open this thing with like 8 million bottles of hard alcohol. So we drank, everything that he made was UBER yummy. I’ll have to find out what exactly he was making. The last drink we had wasn’t so good though, but I think it’s because it wasn’t mixed quite as well.

So we all got drunk and played card games and had a really good time. Andrew and I spent the night there.

Friday…

We got up Friday morning and ate Breakfast with Bryce… Who is a very good cook based on his breakfast! lol. Also watched the Nanny while we were eating. Very amusing show. After breakfast Andrew and I broke and went back to my place and showered and waited tell Jamie got off work.

Jamie got there and I left to go to my Doctors appointment, and Andrew and her went off to start moving.

Doctors appointment was good, though I think the eye doctor would be the scariest place for a small child. I mean I think out of all the doctors they have the most weird looking crazy ass machines in their office!

After the appoitnment I hurried over to Jamie’s new appartment and helped them unpack. Once we were done with that we went back, got another load and then came back and unpacked that as well. Jim’s plan was really late, so Bryce called some hick that he works with and we got a truck. Went and packed some of the big dressers and stuff and hauled that back to the appartnemt.

That was DRAMA! The tailgate on the truck doesn’t stay up, so I had to sit in the back of the truck and hold the tailgate up so that stuff wouldn’t fall out, and I had to hold up this big tall dresser so that when he turned it wouldn’t fall over! Now this doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but the appartment and the storage unit were on complete OPPOSITES of the city! And we had to take a gravel road, and cruvy windy roads, the Bryce kept jerking the truck, and it was just drama.

Luckily the second trip that we made didn’t require someone to sit in the back of the truck!

Once we were done with all that, Andrew and I broke and went back to Waukee to hang out with Girls…

That was even more drama. First off, I knew that Courtney didn’t really WANT me there, she was just putting up with me being there, so that upset me. And then I just felt really out of place, and I could tell that Andrew was getting annoyed with a few things, and yeah. We went off to Gray’s lake and they made Andrew drive because there was a “Wasp in Courtney’s car”. I swear that girl will do anything to get out of driving somewhere. Much more drama at Gray’s lake, and then went bowling. I really didn’t want to go bowling, and I figured that I could just sit there and have a good time watching them bowl, etc. Which is what I usually do when I go bowling.

Ride there Andrew was fairly bitchy to me, which put me in an even worse mood then I already was. It’s understandable that he was upset with the girls, but it just hurt me that he was as bitchy to me as he was. Got to the bowling alley and I was forced to bowl. Which pissed me off even more!

I would have to say that that’s the first time in months that I’ve been actually pissed pissed off. To the point where I just sit and don’t talk to anyone. Which is usually the best thing for me tell I calm down because I would usually end up saying something to hurt feelings.

Ride home there was a bit of a fight between Andrew and I. I will have to admit that it was what I would consider to be our first fight. Very sad that it had to happen and even sadder that it happened so close to his leaving.

Anyways, we got home and made up. Which was good, because I hate being mad at people, and I HATE having people made at me!

While Andrew was getting ready to go to bed he kinda had a break down and started crying. I felt bad that all I could do was hold him. I really wish there would have been more to do. Though I think we’ll both need that a lot over the next week to two weeks. I think for me this week will be the worst, because I think about things in the “It’s the last time we’ll…” Type stuff. You know.

Anyways we went to bed, and I slept really well.

Saturday…

Got up Saturday morning and he went to work. I stayed at his house just doing random stuff. I watched a movie, which was really good and made him some lunch for that day and so that he would have stuff to take to lunch this week.

He FINALLY got home at 2:30 and we ate lunch and the stupid realator came and was a bitch, and she was really stupid too, not very good at her job, I don’t think.

After that we broke and drove up to Ames, met up with his sister and family and the like. And went out to dinner. I thought his dad was very rude towards him and his sister. He hardly said a word to either of them. He talked to Bryce 90% of the time, and I would have to say that he said more to me, minus things regarding Andrew’s college tution, then he did to Andrew. Just very rude and Andrew seemed to be fairly upset. Dinner was really good though, and it was nice of him to pay!

Went back to Jamie’s and watched a movie, which didn’t get over tell like midnight. Andrew and I broke as the credits were rolling and came back to my place. He played a few video games and then we went to bed.

Sunday…

We got up Sunday morning fairly early, but it was also semi sleeping in. I was still UBER tired though because I just couldn’t sleep Saturday night. I don’t know why. Well, I have an idea that I was just way to upset about everything to be able to sleep. So I spend from about 1AM tell about 4:30AM just sitting in my living room, reading, watching TV, and taking down pictures. I also went for a walk… But it was a bit cold, so it was short. lol.

I took down all my pics on the wall that I had because they were just upsetting me too much. Everytime I looked at them, al I could think about is how sad it’s going to be once he’s gone and how much I’m going to miss him. I looked at them and though of all the happy, great times that we’ve had together. And then cried because we’re not going to have any more of them. They’ll go back up, probably pretty soon. I can’t stand the bare wall either.

About 4:30 I went back into bed and Andrew was practically sitting up. I thought that he was awake, but later on he stated that he wasn’t. I laid in bed next to him and kissed him, and then we layed there cuddling. (All while he claims he was sleeping) I think I finally got to sleep about 5 or 5:30.

We got up, showered and then headed back to Jamie’s to have breakfast with his dad… Again hardly a word was spoken. Though more then the night before… I’m guessing that’s because Bryce wasn’t there for his dad to talk too.

Also, who knew they made low-fat suasage, and bakon… Crazyness if you ask me!

After breakfast we all went to Reiman Gardens, which was nice, though very sad for me. One of the MANY things on my list of stuff I wanted to do one last time before Andrew left was to go there and hang out, like we did the month before we started dating. More on the list later.

Once we were done with Reiman, Andrew and I split from his fam and went to the Mall to look for glasses for me. Looked at some really good ones, though Andrew wasn’t much of a help because he kept saying that like every pair looked good on me. I need someone that’s going to be critical of them. I liked the girl that worked there and we narrowed it down to one set. Now I just have to find out how much my mom’s really willing to pay for glasses because she said “$150” but the frames alone are that much! And the lenses are another $150 because of my prescription! And there’s no way that I’m going to pay for that shit!

I really don’t understand why she won’t just pay for my contacts, it’d be MUCH cheaper for her.

After that we underwear hunting, for guess who… ANDREW! lol.

From there back to my place where we spent the rest of the night laying in bed, and I spent a large portion of it crying. I don’t really know what came over me, but I just couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I let a lot of them flow, but still not the full amount. I always feel so stupid crying infront of someone.

He left about 7:15ish, and I went and watched TV.

After a while, I hear a knock on my door and I’m like.. “Who the hell would that be.” So I went and looked out the peep hole, and there wans’t anyone there, so I started to head back to the couch, but I decided that I had better answer it. So I opened the door and out popped Andrew with a big thing of flowers and a cute card! I was so touched, it was so very nice of him! We talked for a bit more and then he left.

I spent the rest of the night on the verge of tears, watching TV, and listening to Music trying to make myself a mix CD. Andrew called and we talked for like an hour as well.

Didn’t sleep well… That’s a shock, really.

Randomness…

My e-bay thing is doing really well, so far it’s up to $97 from $49, and there’s been 262 people that have visisted it! How cool is that! I just hope my other things will sell as well.

The list… I have this big list, though most of it I can never remember. I really wanted to get so much more done this summer then we had time to do. And now we’re down to the last week. He already has so much planned for himself on almost every night. Though I’m going down on Wed, perhaps we can do some of it that night. This weekend we have PACKED to the brim with things to do…

State Fair
Spaghetti Works
One Last Night Downtown
One Last Drag Show
And other stuff that I have written down in my car.

One other thing that I really wanted to do was get a surprise party for him, but that’s been ruined now.

I seem to recall there being something else I wanted to talk about here, but now I can’t remember it!

Oh, we saw Jackson at Gray’s lake Friday night… I didn’t realize it was him though tell we had already walked past each other… How crazy is that though!

Now I’m done, and there’s a box of Sandia garb… Must go raid!

Laters!

EVENTFUL EVENTFUL!!!!

So yeah this weekend has been indeed, very eventful.

I will probably write most of what happened in the public one. But there are a few thigns I want to touch on here.

Ok so Thursday night. I was kinda surprised that Chris actually drank. But I knew he wanted to get drunk. He was so funny, and I’m glad he had a good tiem. Though I guess he was a bit upset by underage drinking which was everyone else except him. But he said it wasn’t too big of ad eal so I just kinda dropped it. Anyways, I was kinda drunk and apparently UBER horny. I was talking really dirty to Chris, and I think he liked that too. He alluded to it later, so . yeah. Anyways, I kept saying how much I wanted to have sex and blah blah blah Im sure I made no sense and just sounded stupid. Anyways I finally convinced him to. So we were trying with just wetness and that didn’t really work so he went and got some lotion from the bathroom. Lubed it up and things went swell.

He was on top and then we did it doggy style which I thought was really hot, plus it was hot to begin with since it was so scandalous. Eventually I had to cum and I just came inside him and it felt really good and I hope it did for him too. So that was that. Then I jacked him off and he came and then we went to bed. Woke up like an hour later and Jaime was up and getting ready. So eventually we rolled outta bed and that was all good. The rest will be on public.

Let’s see what’s next for privateness….? Well the next morning we were at his apt. and started messing around again. My sis said she would be there in 10 minutes so for some reason we thought it would be a smart idea to try and squeeze in a quickie. So yeah, we did. But then she called so we just decided to jack it real quick, so we did and both came in like 2 minutes. Very hot and scandalous. but fun as well. Next up on privates…..

We had a fight Friday night. I would callt aht our first real fight. He was mad b/c I was a bitch in the car and then happy when we got to bowling so he thought it was something he did and got all upset. We kinda yelled at each other on the way home and that was sad b/c I didn’t like fighting with him. But it wasn’t really a big deal every couple has their fights. That night, when we got back to my house, something just snapped in me and I just started crying and I could’t really control myself. So we layed in bed and Chris held me and comforted me and I just sobbed. Yeah, I really don’t know why. I was just stressed and then with us fighting and stuff it was too much for me. But I’m ok now!

I guess the next thing to private update about is tonight. We had a really good day (ended up making love again) and we were laying in bed and somehow it came up that it would be the last time that I would be in Ames.

Brian Kinney 86: u have any naked ones
Auto response from SqUaLL0112: Packing up my room.. *sniff sniff*….
Brian Kinney 86: or a webcam
SqUaLL0112: no, i have a boyfriend
SqUaLL0112: im not sure hed want me webcamming with another guy
Brian Kinney 86: shhh
SqUaLL0112: whats that mean?
Brian Kinney 86: dont tell him
SqUaLL0112: well considering i really care about him, and hes a really great guy, my vote is no

Sorry that was random, but what a fuckface! Don’t tell him my ass! Why are some people so stupid.

Anyways, so the me being last night in Ames thing really upset Chris and he started crying. So I held him and said everything would be alright. I was trying to put him in a better mood, and I think I did, at least partially by talking about how if he was fat, he’d just have to jiggle his belly and I’d fly off and other crazyness. I hope it at least made him smile. Anyways, of course my tears were coming a little bit. I thought about abandoning myself and just letting loose, but I kept it inside. However, now I do feel like crying. We also decided that we are gonna have “the talk” on Wednesday about what’s gonna happen. I just want to have it before we go to NJ/CA. It would be better that way.

Anyways, lots more kisses and talking and a litle more crying and we ended up at the door. I forget how it came up, but Chris said that he took down the pics of me b/c it was too much for him to see. So I told him that the reason the the pics were even up was to remember the happy times, and not the sad. And then he started crying again, and I was upset too. He said he took them down last night when he was up b/c they made him too sad. I was sad about that, I hope he puts them back up.

After I left, I thought I had better do something nice for him, I really thought he just needed me to show him I care. So with my quick thinking, I popped over to Hy-Vee, tried to get roses but the stupid bitch working wasn’t there, so I just grabbed some carnations, waited in line forever, and drove back over to his house. I knocked on the door and jumped up the stairs so he wouldn’t see me in the peep hole cause I know he always looks! So then I jumped down and gave them to him, and he seemed pretty surprised. I spent 10 or so minutes there, and we put them in a cup and stuff and I hope he enjoyed them. He seemed pretty thankful and told me how much he loved me 🙂

Hopefully he is feeling better aboutt hings already.

Well I think that’s about it for privates. If there is anything else, I will be sure to note. Now on to public!

Cryfest

(I’ve always wanted to use that Drunk Icon. I know, I know you should use it when you ARE drunk, but whatever, it’s practically the same!)

Ok, well I guess since I have nothing to do, I’ll go ahead and get started on this. Though I have a feeling it’ll be a long one as well.

First off, Thursday night.

It was tons of fun to get drunk for the first time, though I felt a bit stupid about the whole thing. And just a tad upset/scared about it all. I don’t know really how to explain it, and I complained enough about it all in the previous post entitled “Your History” to I won’t go into it here again. It really isn’t that big of a deal, and has already consumed more then enough space.

Anyways, I did have a ton of fun, and we were UBER scandalous that night. We were laying in bed and Apparently Andrew was really horny. And he kept trying to talk me into making love there in Bryce’s living room. I kept saying “NO” because it would have been way to loud and very not cool. But he kept up and I eventually let in and we did it. It was kinda hard at first, so I went and searched through the bathroom and found some lotion to use.

I’ll have to admit that it was really hot.

But I would like to say that I don’t think I was really all that drunk there, I mean yeah. I do know that I WAS drunk, I just don’t think I was as drunk as he thinks that I was. By the time we were getting ready to go to bed, I was feeling fine. I also don’t see how people can get so drunk that they don’t know what they are doing, I was very aware the whole time of what I was doing.

Friday was really good tell that night. I was just very annoyed and with him being a bitch to me in the car that just really set me off. All I was trying to do was be comforting and nice, and he was just flat out rude to me. And then as soon as we walked into the Bowling alley he was all happy go lucky. I was just really annoyed.

I will have to say that it’s very sad that our first fight was over something so stupid really. But I can see why it happened, we were both very tired from the lack of sleep the night before, and we are both very stressed out about everything. Though he’s more so than I.

Saturday was good, very scandalous again because as we were waiting for his sister to call we got the bright Idea that we could get in a quickie. lol. That really didn’t work out so well because as we were switching posistions she called and said she’d be there in like 10 minutes… So we dicided to do a quick jack, and both of us came in like 2 minutes. She called just as we were finishing up saying she was in the parking lot.

Sunday was good too, the whole Reiman gardens thing upset me a bit, not upset as in mad, but upset as in sad. I think the thing on the to pof my list was to go to Reiman gardens, it’s what I had planned for this Wed. Had he not been working.

After that we went home and just hung out, it was really nice. We eneded up making love again. It was very great. Three times in as many days… Perhaps we should go back and tell Bryce that gay guys do get more! lol. Anyways, it was really nice, and it means a lot to be every time we do it… Even when he was just drunk! 😛

Once we were done with that we ate, and he was packing up and said that he was going to play some video games. I asked him not too and to just lay on the bed for a while. Which we did. We talked and it came up that last night was the last time that he’d be in my apartment. That just really hit me hard and I started crying. I really didn’t want to, I want to minimize the amount of crying we, or at least I, do this week. Though now that they’ve started, I think it’ll be pretty hard for them to stop.

We talked and he did a really good job of chearing me up, which just made me sadder because he is so wonderful and he’s such a cutie, and his chearing me up. He did some of the things that are just unique to him, and it made me realize how sad I’ll be when I can’t see him make those crazy faces, and those wierd voices he always uses to relay his emotions.

Ok, I have to stop there or else I’ll begin another cry fest, in my office…

Perhaps more once I get home and can cry uncontrollably in my own office.

A Quicky

So I really don’t have time for an update, so this’ll be a quicky.

Last night I was planning on going down to spend the night with Andrew…

I got off at 4:30 and went home, played an hour or so of Mario. I forgot how easy that game really is. Though I kept dying in the castles, my own stupidity though. (Jumping too soon and falling in the lava).

I’m on level 8, and I seem to be lost in the castle. Level 8’s castle has to be one of the most confusing ones there is. Very weird. I should be able to finish it tonight or tomorrow morning.

I have a SHIT LOAD of packing to do.

After Mario, I showered and then headed home to get a suit case and to discuss with my mom about who’s taking us to the airport. It’ll be either her or my brother. Hopefully her.

About 9:30 I left to go to Andrew’s house. Went to Hy-vee first to get cheap State Fair tickets and wondered around a bit, cause I didn’t think he’d be home from haning with the girls yet.

I left there, and called him on my way, we chatted and about the time I got to his house, he was talking about his room being empty and bland, etc. And I said something like, “Well come let me in and I’ll brighten it up.”

I don’t think he really believed me that I was there, it was amusing.

Got inside and we talked, he said that he actually didn’t go out with the girls, which I was fairly annoyed with because had I known that I would have come over at 7 and not 10, thus giving us 3 hours more time together.

Though I guess I can’t have double standards. I always bitched when Adam called me if I wasn’t online, so how can I expect Andrew to call me when I’m not online. So no biggie.

We hung out and talked for a little bit, and then went to bed.

Got up this morning and hung out for a while. I left for work about 10ish. Got here, and have been uber busy all day.

We got our first 1U rack mount in today.

Isn’t it cute!

Other then that I’ve been uber busy getting ready for my vacation next week. Since I won’t be here I have to teach the new guy everything that I do… Well the major stuff anyways and what to do if something major breaks.

It’s been really crazy.

And SUDO is confusing me… I don’t understand it’s syntax and the man page isn’t very helpful.

I can’t wait tell Wed though to see my Drew Bear again!

Laters

In The Early Morning Light

In the early morning light
I watch you sleeping.
I see the gentle rise and fall of your chest
As you slumber next to me.
Though your hair is no longer neatly combed
And your beard has grown in the night
You are practically perfect to me.

Your skin is so smooth with
Just a sprinkling of hair on your chest.
I want to reach out and touch it
But I don’t want to disturb your dreams.
I feel so remarkably close to you
In this muted early morning light.
I wish we could lay here forever.

Does your family know they have a perfect son?
Do they realize the power of your mind
And the fineness of your body?
Do they appreciate the passion in your heart
And the caring for others you possess deep within?
Can they see their little man from years ago
Grown into someone so wonderful, so right?

As I lay here watching you stir in your sleep.
You stretch out with such grace and beauty.
Your leg touches mine and your eyes open slowly .
You see me watching you and you smile softly.
You whisper a muted, Good morning.
And your arm reaches out to pull me close to you.
I shiver against the warmth of your body.

You wrap me with love and cover me
With kisses from your sleep-softened lips.
A tear of happiness forms at the corner my eye
And falls softly on your manly shoulder.
Your tender look melts my heart.
In the early morning light you whisper the words
I want to hear.  I love you, and all is right.

-Tim