I’m A Liar!

Ok, so just a quick update. Andrew and I had a nice long talk the other night and I had a nice break down. It was really good to have him there to reassure me while we were talking. THough I wish that he could have been here to hold me. I really need that right now.

I really don’t want to get into the whole thing right now because I am in a public lab. But I just want to say thanks to him for being there and listening to me, and trying as much as he can to comfort me. I know that it’s hard.

After the initial breakdown, we had a good talk though, about just random things. At like midnight, I was like, I really need to get going, because I was really tired. So we started to say bye, but then we got to talking about a TON of other random stuff, and finally ended up hanging up about 12:30. I really hate doing that, because whenever I go to hit the end button, he’s never hung up yet. So I’m like, “Is he still talking”. I always hate hitting the end key first. Very crazy. That’s probably the whole reason why I hate PHONES!

Anyways, one of the topic’s that came up was my moving to SD. And him not wanting me to base where I’m going on him. Well if he can admit that he’s a hypocrite, I can admit that I’m a liar!

Now, for the most part. I want to move to SD on my own will, and because I want too. But if he got into SFSU and asked me to move closer to him. I would seriously do what ever is in my power to move closer to SF. Now, if it wasn’t at all possible, say he asked me like the week before I moved. I obviously couldn’t. But I would try whatever I could.

As he said…”I really love him.” And I Do.

I Have A Stalker!!

Hello to my new stalker.. How fun is that!

Anyways, yesterday was really good. The night before Andrew and I had a nice long chat and I felt better about things. We also got to talk a lot online yesterday, so that was good.

Classes and work, that’s about all there was. In my work out class we had to team up with someone, and I’m teaming with this boy, Justin. I think that’s his name. He seems pretty nice, though really shy. Much like myself.

We’re both really big whimps too, we can only lift the bar. So it’s good that we both have about the same level. I guess. He’s a Comp E major (Freshman though). So at least we both have something to talk about. That class should be good. And if I keep up with my working out. All should be good and I should be hot! HOt! HOT!

(I really hate this keyboard, the shift key and many other random keys stick!)

Last night I didn’t really do much. I talked to my stalker online, and that was amusing. I had just gotten online to get a reference for a job app. But Andrew and stalker were online, so I spent an hour talking to both. Good times there.

After that I broke, went and turned in my app. Made copies at work, and then went to Lowes to get nails.

I hung up all the pics that I took down before Andrew left. And this time I actually put them in frames, and HUNG them on the wall, instead of just taping them to the wall. They’re very cute if I do say so myself. Though I can’t look at them too long, or I’ll start crying.

I have finally gotten to the point that I can look at the trip pics without crying though, so that’s good. (But I think I mentioned that a few days ago).

Called Andrew real quick to say night, and he was at some b-day party. Very amusing. Though that got me to thinking, and then it made me sad, because I know that on my bday I’ll probably be spending it alone, and it’s my 22nd b-day. Sad. I’m getting OLD! I’m going to need moral support!

Today I woke up at like 6:15, but didn’t have to be up tell 6:45, so I just laid in bed. Eventually got up and showered, etc. And caught the 7am bus to campus. Got here, and went to my first class. That was alright.

Forrest is in it, and as we were picking groups today, I was standing with the Italy group, cause I thought that would be a fun country to pick, then Forrest grabs me and is like, “Hey, we’re doing Europe in General, want to be in our group.” So I was like, “Sure”. So now we’re going to do Norway for our project! Good times.

After that I went to Pol Sci. That class was alright, we just watched a movie, so nothing to interesting.

We got out early, so that was good. Though now I have an UBER long time before my next class starts. Though I think I’ll break here soon and go tan, or something. I have work out clothes, but I Think that I’ll do that after my TransLog Class and before my Intro to Managemtne class.

Hopefully I’ll get a chance to talk to Andrew tonight. If not, I’ll give him a quick call before I go to bed. I hope that he doesn’t mind my calling!

Tonight’s the Alliance Ice Cream Social. I do beleive I’ll go, though I don’t really want to go alone. Always very embarrasing.

So we were 1 hour into my MGMT 414 class, and some guy walks into class, and walks all the way to the front of the room to sit down… He gets up there, starts to look at the board and then asks the professor. “Where am I?” The Prof then goes…”You’re in the middle of a class, please leave.” VERY FUNNY!

Oh, and for my MGMT 370 class we have a book report, and well the list that she gave us… Almost EVERY book that’s on there is on my amazon.com wishlist. Very amusing! (Which means that it’s a book I’ve been wanting to read) I was thinking that it was all going to be stupid books, but they are all cool books. I’m very excited for this. The reports due Nov 11, so I think that I should get started on reading the book. Good times.

Anyways, I have to go write a private and then break for class. Laters!

Whew, so I am doing a lot of typing today. I just typed that UBER long entry for my reg. journal, then wrote Ms. Hanigan a long email and Ms. Beal a quick one.

Anyways
I basically have to update about the talk that Chris and I had. It was a sad one. We talked about how he doesn’t really have many friends, and how no one seemed to care about his trip, and what happened with me and stuff. He started crying pretty hard, and it took all I had in me to keep from running to the nearest airport and flying right back to Iowa to be with him. I missed him so badly last night, and I just cried right along with him on the phone. Eventually we got away from the crying and just talked about random stuff.

I miss him so much. I really want to come out to someone, if not only so I could tell them what a great boyfriend I had, and how much I wish he could still be with me.

Our talk was good, just lots of randomness. Very good though, I was happy to talk to him for that long. We had another good talk today while I was in the liberry, though he has started saying LOL a lot. 🙂 But it seems like he may have found a friend, and the guy’s pretty cute too, go Topher! hehe. So that’s good… and tomorrow he’s going to the ice cream social, which is just so cute! AND he’s got his weightlifting class, where I’m sure he can make friends with the guy he’s parterned with. So he’s got lots of opportunities going for him. Though if he keeps up with his weightlifting even after class ends, and also keeps running… ooh I won’t be able to keep my hands off of him once I see him again. Not that I’d be able to even if he didn’t do any of that. But I’m so happy for him b/c I know he’s been wanting to get into shape for a long time, and now he’s got four months where he has to go to an actual class to do it, and it’s for a grade (I think), and he’s motivated to run and stuff. He’ll be much buffer than me by time I get back.

Anyways I miss the guy like crazy, I can’t wait to talk about him to someone…. and I just wish he were here.
And I’m a hypocrite. I told him not to choose where he wants to live based off of where I am………

BUT
The reason I keep pushing for SDSU and not SFSU (where I will easily have enough credits to transfer) is b/c he said he wants to live in San Diego. I know, I know.. I’m a hypocrite. Well sue me. I really love him.

Day Number Two…

Well, day two is over with.

Classes today went well. Though in my first two classes there’s going to be a lot of reading. And there’s a group project in both of them… That’s 3 out of 5 classes with BIG group assingments, all due during dead week. Plus the other two classes have a test on the Friday of dead week. (But no final test, so that’s good)

Right now it looks like I’ll just have two tests during finals week. Also a plus.

Anyways, My TransLog prof seems really cool. He kept making jokes and seemed to really enjoy teaching. So that’s a good sign. He only kept us about 20 minutes though. After that class, things got a bit rough for me though. I was walking from Carver to Gilman for my next class, and just suddenly had a breakdown, I laid on the benches just outside Carver for about an hour just crying. I’m sure I scared a lot of people. Though it was good that I had my sunglasses on, I bet most people didn’t even know.

I really wanted to call Andrew at that point, I really wanted to. But I resisted, I didn’t/don’t want to seem clingy and bog him down with my own problems. He’s got his own life now to deal with. So I just sat there and cried.

I’ve been checking my phone constatnly today. I hope that he calls soon. I really want to talk to him.