Over Heard In NY Stolen from Niel
(Stolen from beak, who knows where she got it from)
Things Republicans Believe: A truthful and sarcastic list
1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is a solid defense policy
2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
3. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but
George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s
is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is
5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
6. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run
for governor of California as a Republican.
8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a
conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers
for your recovery.
10. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,
then demand their cooperation and money.
13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s
daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him
and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.