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Stolen

Over Heard In NY Stolen from Niel

(Stolen from beak, who knows where she got it from)

Things Republicans Believe: A truthful and sarcastic list

1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable

offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which

thousands die is a solid defense policy

2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the

Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the

Internet.

3. The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but

George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s

is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is

irrelevant.

5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing

health care to all Americans is socialism.

6. Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but

creationism should be taught in schools.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run

for governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a

conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers

for your recovery.

10. A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but

multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind

without regulation.

11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies,

then demand their cooperation and money.

13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s

daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him

and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

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