Tag: Iowa

RAIN!

So I thought that since one year ago it was raining, and today it was raining, a duplicate title name was approriate. Eh?

So today has been shit. Very very shit.

Got up at 6 because I couldn’t sleep. Wondered around the house, and thought a lot about Andrew, and christmas break and things. I’ll go into that more later.

Dressed, I was so tired that I just grabbed an outfit and my UCLA hoodie. Headed out to class.

414 went alright, he talked a lot about random things, which wasn’t all that exciting. First test is coming up in there in two weeks I think. Something like that.

From there I grabbed the bus and headed over to Lago. Class there was pretty annoying. First off the ugly annoying boy that’s been sitting next to me sat in the cute homo’s spot, so the cute homo got displaced to somewhere else in the room. Then stupid ugly boy was being very annoying, and kepy correcting the prof. He was all like, “I beleive you are talking about”. And I want to be like, “I beleive no one cares what you’re saying stupid, ugly.”

Perhaps it was just my annoyed state from the earlier thinking and little sleep. Then the stupids on the other side of the room didn’t pass the attendance sheet over to our side, so we all had to wait around after class and sign it. Very annoying there. I guess we also have to do some group project and stupid ugly keeps asking me to be in his group, and I”m like. “NO, LEAVE ME ALONE!” Grr. I just wanted to punch him.. Which you will notice became a common thing throughout the day.

After that I went to Carver and got online for a bit and did some stuff. I e-mailed my english prof and asked him if he would write me a recomendation for the travel abroad thing that I’m applying for. He hasn’t got back to me yet, which is very annoying. I hope he gets back to me soon. I also e-mailed Susan one of my MIS teachers and she and I are meeting tomorrow so that we can get together what I need. So that was good.

I had to pee really bad, so I broke from there, went potty and then went outside. Where it was VERY cold out today. Though I decided to sit on the benches between Carver and Beardsher (sp?). That was a bad idea.

I sat there reading for a long time, but then about noon all the breeders started to float in. With their cute little girlfriends/boyfriends. And they all seemed to want to sit right where I was and be really cute, and kiss and hug and sit next to each other, and eat lunch together. And it was all VERY annoying. I wanted to punch them all.

Couldn’t take that anymore, so I broke from reading my book there and headed over to Kildee for my 12:30 class. Of course on the way there, I swear every breeder couple was out on campus and being all cute and shit. I was very annoyed because I just want my Drew Bear back, so that we can be cute again. And I want another cute gay boy to tell us how cute we are!!

My 12:30 class was really annoying. We have a test on Tuesday and he just reviewed, but he only spent like 20 minutes doing that. And then we all left. I didn’t bring my workout clothes today, so I had like 2, nearly 3 hours to kill before my next class. So I went over to Gilman and sat and read Nickel And Dimed for that time.

Lots more cute breeders and I wanted to just break down and cry the whole time. I eventually pulled out the pic I keep of Andrew in my bag and just sat there and looked at it. I cried a little, but I was in a fairly heavily traveled area of Gilman, so I held most of it back.

It was finally time for my last class of the day, 370, where we have a test on Thurs. That class was interesting. We talked about ethics and stuff. I have to write a thing about where Ethical crosses the line to illegal. So I’m going to do Underage Drinking. because that seems to be on my mind lately.

The cute homo that’s in that class sat right in front of me, and I wanted to talk to him. But someone else came and sat next to him and talked to him. He always sits like one row in front of me, but never talks to /sits next to anyone. And I thought it’d be nice to talk to him. But yeah. Didn’t get too.

Got out of that class and it was raining, which just put me in an even worse mood. It’s COLD and raining and it just means that shit is coming. That horrible shit that is Iowa Winter. Fall starts on Tuesday. I’m excited for fall… Not for winter.

It has been nice though the last couple days to be able to wear my hoodie. So that’s good. But I just want to skip the getting cold thing, leaves falling, halloween and thanksgiving, and christmas, and I just want it to be the day after christmas. And I want it to be that day for a long time.

Anyways. I was supposed to go out with Gap Boy tonight for dinner and I’ve been looking forward/scared of it all day. I rode the bus home, hoping that he’d call, blah blah. Got home, changed because half way through the day, I realized that I looked like shit in what I was wearing. And then sat around all night waiting for stupid Gap Boy to call me.

He never did. Though some other cute boy did call. Thanks Drew 😀

We’ve been talking a lot tonight, and all that’s going to go into a private entry. Nothing bad. Just nothing I want in public view right now. He’s going to call me back tonight at 11, so that we can finish our talk. It’s been interupted like 3 times now, but it’s good so that we can re-coup our thoughts.

Everyone hope that Sue and fam are good. Apparently they are going to be affected by the hurricane. Though on the news it doesn’t look like it should be too bad for them.

Oh, I keep meaning to tell everyone that I now have 40 pairs of underwear! How fun is that! It’s amazing because when I met Andrew, I had like 10 pairs. But now I have 40. I also have drastically increased the number of shirts that I have.

Also, I just remembered (Thanks news 8). Des Moines was name the “hippiest” city in the country… I’d like to know what those people were smoking!! Cause that’s a laugh.

PU’s called this evening as well. I guess I have to go back home this weekend to help out with the garage. I wasn’t planning on going back at all. I want to start decreasing the time that I spend there. I was very annoyed by this though because I already have plans for Saturday, and my mom was just like, “well we could use your help”. And of course I can’t just say “No”. I feel obligated to do it. But on the other hand I really don’t think I should have to help out. But whatever. I guess I shall.

This entry is starting to get very random… Isn’t it? I promise I’m almost done.

I have a pimple on my eye lid… VERY annoying. And it hurts.

I’ve been thinking about the house/condo/loft that I want when I get older. I know exactly how I want to decorate it. Well, ok. I have the basic IDEA of how I want it. I dunno exactly what brought it on, but I have been thinking about it, and I can’t wait to get my own place that I can paint the walls, etc. It’ll be very fun. I am scared though that I won’t be able to do what I want, or something. Like I know it’s going to be a lot of work to get what I want and I think that I can do it. But it is scary, and I want my own place with my husband now.

Well at least I think I do. Though I also think that I’m not anywhere near ready to make that commitment. Lets just say that I want to have money to decorate my apartment the way that I want to. And I want to be able to tear out walls when and where I want.

Ok, I’m done. I swear.

Laters!

Stupidest Person Alive or SPA

That is me. I am the stupidest person alive.

Here’s the story.

So last night, I spent some time in my room, talkig on the phone to Chris. We had a really good talk, and I explained to him what my plans are for the next few years. Right now, they include staying at Chapman all of this year. Next summer, Chris will move here (Somewhere in Orange County, or a little further, but still within 30-40 minutes). Next year, I will be an RA in either Henley or Pralle, which means that I won’t have to pay for housing, AND I will get my ownroom, so Chris can stay over whenever I want him to. And hopefully with the extra money I can get a car, so I can visit him when I want to as well. That year I MAY study abroad.. but now I’m thinking that I might do that junior year instead and just try to take more major classes next year… that way I can do the RA thing and save money… but if I don’t get the RA job, then I’ll want to go. So I’m sure I’ll just apply for it all. So the year after that I will get an apartment with some people (potentially Chris, but also potentially Matt and Ross or someone) and then keep going to Chapman. I’ll go there until I graduate, start spending the summers here and working…. my plan stops right after graduation where I have no clue what happens next.

So Chris and I talked about that a lot… I asked him if I wanted him to try and move closer to OC if he would. He said if I asked him. So I asked him, “If I stay at Chapman next year, will you move closer to OC?” and he said, “Yes.” So that was really sweet and I was really happy about that and he was really touched as well. It feels good to at least have a semi-plan. Now if only I could declare a fucking major. I apologize in advance for all the swearing that this may contain.
So that was a good talk, and we also talked about how GB (Gap Boy) invited Chris to a party but he didn’t want to go b/c there was going to be underage drinking there.

So we talked about that for a few minutes. Who knew it would end up to be very ironic that we had that talk..

So then we broke and I went down to Natalie’s room to meet up with everyone. I didn’t know that they had any alcohol, but apparently they had a lot. So I had 3 Smirnoffs and 2 shots of something. So after that, everyone was just drinking and we were having a good time. The stuff in between is not important… perhaps it will go in a public entry… foam party, yippity yap, we did lots of random shit, going to the bathroom in the women’s room, and the fat girl that tried to get on me.

So after awhile, I went to change b/c I was all wet from the foam… after that I went to Robin’s room, where Allison and all the gay men were. So we all hung out there, and everything started b/c Asian Alan was drinking and he’s like “I always get red when I drink.” So I related that Margaret Cho part where she’s like “Do you have a sunburn?” “No, I’m fucked up” And he thought that was funny and we talked about how great the Choster is. So then I was like “Yeah I saw her live and I met her” and he’s like “no you didn’t” and I was like “I’ll prove it…” So we went to my room, just the 2 of us and I showed him the pic of Margaret. So we were hanging out and just talking, Chris called and I could tell her was upset with me for being drunk. I told him I would call him tomorrow and then after we got off the phone, I talked Alan’s ear off about Chris. Then Chris called again and asked if I had lied about being drunk any other times. I told him no, we talked for another second or two, and then he was gone again and I felt really bad again. So Alan and I kept talking, then my roommates all came home … Kyle with his girlfriend, Danny with 3 of his HS friends. So they were like “Did you drink?” and I was like “Uhhh…..maybe a little.” So then I was embarassed so me and Alan left. He was like “Let’s hang out in my room” so I’m just like “uhhh ok, but I want to find Allison” and he’s like “We will, don’t worry.” I’m like “ok.” So we went in there… to make a long story short, we were just talking and the next thing I knew he was on top of me and he kissed me. He stopped after a second or two… and I started talking about how wonderful Chris was and how he would send me flowers and when he decorated my car for me, and how absolutely sweet he was the best guy I ever dated. Except in between me talking, Alan kept kissing me. This went on, not for too long. Maybe 15 minutes at tops. He just got off eventually and sat and talked to me. And I felt horrible. Horrible b/c of what just happened, horrible b/c of what I did, horrible b/c of everything. And I felt bad too b/c Alan was like “Would that have happened if you weren’t drunk?” and I said flat out NO. I never would’ve done that. I just want to cry. Thank God Kyle’s in the shower in case I want to.

So that’s what happened. Oh I forgot. In between that, before this I had to pee. So I called Chris while I was in the bathroom and tried to talk to him. He still seemed mad, and I didn’t want him to be.

Flash forward to this morning. I wanted desperately to call Chris. I finally did, around 10 something, and we ended up talking for nearly 3 hours. It was a bad talk. Though I’m more upset b/c Chris said it was the worst conversation he had ever had in his life. That really upset me and I cried as I read it.

So I called him… we at first talked about the whole drunk thing. I got very defensive and was telling him that I don’t need to live by anyone else’s morals except my own. He got mad at that, and told me that if I really cared I would think about what he thought, and that I obviously didn’t care about him enough to stop myself from drinking and all this stuff. It was a sad talk, and it upset me for several reasons. One is that I don’t want to hurt him, but I didnt’ feel like he understood that it was MY life. Two is that it was causing me much added stress which I couldnt’ deal with. And three, I had something that I was much more upset about. So I was sitting there, we were talking, and then there was silence. I started to cry, b/c in my head I was replaying what happened with me and Alan and I was so upset and I was so mad at myself for it happening. And I knew that I had to tell Chris. If I had kept it in, and he found out later (which he invariably would, b/c I wouldn’t be able to keep it in forever) I figured things would be much worse. So I just decided to tell him. I was crying and just said “Someone kissed me.” And he was like “Did you say kiss?” and I was like “yeah” through my tears…. and then I knew that there was going to be a big tear explosion, so I told him to hold on while I went outside by the Henley gym and just started bawling. I explained the entire story to him, and he started crying. I was so upset… still am. I cannot believe I was stupid enough to do something like that to such a great guy. Granted, we are not dating at this point…. but still, we both know that we are both still emotionally attached. So it was just a bad idea… I felt better for telling him.. but I was just so upset and I couldn’t stop crying. He doesn’t deserve this.. he doesn’t deserve someone who would do something like this to him. He should have someone who treats him right. It was so sad, we were both just there, crying and I felt so fucking stupid for what I did. When I was with Alan, I just wanted so badly for it to be Chris, I was seriously imagining that it was Chris when he was kissing me. But it didn’t feel right, I didn’t feel anything. I just wanted my Topher. I wanted him so bad. It isn’t fucking fair.

We kept talking, it seemed to just get worse. I just cried harder and he cried, and I felt worse and worse and worse. How can I do that to someone I love? I don’t fucking know. This entry is horrible.. I can’t even explain how terrible I feel for doing this. The good part was that Chris said he would be able to forgive me as soon as I forgave myself. I don’t know when that will be… I plan on feeling guilty for awhile. But I was so happy that he said he would forgive me. He said that if it happens again, then that is it for us. Honestly, a random hook up that I only do b/c I’m horny is not worth losing the greatest guy I’ve ever met. Nothing is fucking worth it. He kept saying that everything would be alright. I hope it is. I really do. I didn’t want to do this to him, I didn’t ever want to make him feel this way. I didn’t want him to feel that any talk with me was the worst talk he’s ever had in his life. I wasn’t supposed to make him feel this way. I am supposed to make him feel good, bring him up… not tear him down w/ my stupidness. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop telling him how sorry I am and how much I loved him. I love him so much.

That’s how we also got on another subject. I explained to him that I’m scared. Scared b/c I think he might be “The One.” It’s so fucking scary. But at the same time, I just want it to be. I feel that if we date again, we will probably not break up. I told him how he is the type of guy you marry… you don’t just hook up with Topher.. you bring him home to Mom, cook him dinner, and love him like he should be loved. You don’t fucking make out with some guy that you don’t know very well and fuck up everything. That’s why I think someone else out there is more deserving of him. He said that he felt the same way too though. So that made me feel good, at least I’m not a freak. I guess we will work it out if it truly is meant to be. But I think it could be. And at this age, it’s so scary. But he’s everything I want in a guy plus more. Smart, sexy, funny, worldly, caring… I miss him so fucking much.

I want to call him now… we talked one other time after this, just online.. and things seemed better. But I had a little breakdown in the gym while listening ot “Saving Grace” so that was bad. And then again upon seeing his entry. And I just want to have one now… no one’s in the room, apparently no one wants to hang out with me.. I think I’m just gonna call him. I wanted to see him so bad. This was something I would’ve wanted to tell him in person.. so I could hold him and explain to him just how sorry I am. I want to go to Iowa. I want to see him again, hug him, whisper that I love him and that I am so sorry for hurting him and that I never want to hurt him again. I want to tell him that he’s my best friend and that he’s always there for me, and that he means so much to me. I want to tell him all this.. but I want to do it while holding him. I want him to be here, so on nights like this when I don’t feel like doing anything, I can be with him and just sit and watch TV and hold
each other and kiss and laugh and fall asleep together. I’m gonna call him.

Replaced

Ok, so I have a few things to write about involving Chris and I.

First off, I have had a really hard time this weekend. I have missed him a lot and generally not had a good time L So there are also a few things that confuse me.

First off.. I go to read his private update, and I see a word that frightens me to no end : suicide. He definitely didn?t mention this to me at all. We seriously talked for 4-5 hours this weekend, and he NEVER said anything to me. Now if he was thinking that at all, I would hope that he would say something to me, I?m the one person he tells everything to. I wanted him to tell me so that I could tell him how stupid that would be, and how much I love him and how that would just kill me, and how he has so much to live for. But no, he didn?t even tell me he was feeling that way. Even if it wasn?t SERIOUS contemplation. Any contemplation is serious enough to me. I don?t know what to think, like he didn?t feel comfortable enough to tell me, or didn?t think it was a big deal, or what? At any rate, I plan to talk to him about that next time I talk to him.

Second off, the dildo. Now I know that it?s not a big deal. But it seriously kinda bothered me. I did kinda feel like I was being replaced. By a toy, nonetheless. He said that nothing would compare to Enfuego, but I just feel so ? weird about it all. Especially b/c it?s so big!! So yeah? I just feel inadequate about it? and stupid for even getting annoyed. But he?s got a dildo!! And no more Enfuego. And now he?s gonna want the dildo more? and I?ll be gone L

Anyways?. In other worlds, we decided not to talk anymore about moving close to each other/transfers etc?. B/c it just makes us upset and we don?t want to worry about it for 9 months. I have so many options. I could go to SFSU next year? I could study abroad a semester and then go? I could study abroad a semester, then go to Chapman for a semester and then transfer to SDSU. What do I do?? I have no clue. I just want to know if I?ll even care for Chris then or not. Well, that came out wrong. Of course I will care for him. We are first and foremost best friends, and I will never let that go. But will I still be in love with him? Will I still care about him that way? I have no idea, there is no telling what?s going to happen, who he?s going to meet, who I?m going to meet. It?s just all very confusing and I don?t know what to do.

Today I had a breakdown again. I didn?t cry HARD? but I did cry a little bit, listening to music and singing and then breaking out the pics he sent me. They are all so great.. I especially like the one of us eating the zeppoles, the one of us standing in front of the Iowa county flag things, and the one of us at the airport. They are all such great pics of us and we are so cute, and every time I see them I am reminded that I no longer have him with me. And a crazy Asian guy just stood next to me and looked at my computer.

Go away.

So we talked a lot these past few days. Just good talks. I?m actually fairly surprised that we have so much to talk about. But yeah, just generally good talks and it just made me miss him oh so bad!!

So bottom line is this: I don?t want him to commit suicide, the dildo makes me insecure, I?m completely befuddled about where our future is going, and I miss him a lot.

Oh and our fucking Spring Breaks don?t line up. But he is still going to come here and that will be wonderful, we will have a great time!

And he seems confused about what will happen at Christmas, etc?. Well in my mind, it?s like nothing changed. I will go there, he will meet me at the airport, we will hug, we will kiss. We will go back to his apartment, lay together, make love, and then I will lay in his arms and he will hold me and whisper that he loves me. In my dreams?.

FYI: after talking w/ Chris tonight, I do have more to update about, but I cannot right now, I seriously need to get going on work.

A Good Weekend.

Umm, well not much really to publicly update about. Lots of private shit. Though I’m sure this will turn into a long public.

So Friday sucked. I left work an hour early because it was sucking so much, and came home. I spent most of the day reading my old private entries, and I think I wrote about this already…

Anyways, I came home. Spent a bit of time laying in bed and cried for a while, and then go up and went downtown. I was there from about 7:30 tell 9:30 when I left. I just studied for a while. Once I was bored and decided that no one else was every going to come, I went off on an expedition. Made for a private entry.

Got home about midnight and went to bed.

Saturday I got up early and went and met up with Beak. We broke (15 mintues late, thanks!) and headed for G&G’s. Got there about noon and hung out and ate and such. Then went out and picked pears. That took FOREVER! Because there were litteraly millions of them! And now my neck hurts from looking up all day!

After that I called Andrew and we talked for like an hour or so. I think it wa slonger then that. But it was good to talk to him. I forget what all we talked about, but we reminiced some and it was good. I also told him of my expedition on Friday night, and he seemed a bit annoyed about it. But whatever.

Once we were done with that, I went and talked to the Gma for like ever, and had a good time. Ate supper and then broke. She stuffed us really full. But beak and I were talking on the way home and decided that it’s really not that bad for you. I mean we had Potatos, with milk in them, corn, and noodles (Which is flour and eggs and beef broth). And then we had a roast, but I didn’t have much of that. So really it’s not all THAT bad for you! It’s always the desserts that kill you and I didn’t have much of those!

So I was a bit annoyed with the Gma though, she asked a lot of questions bout the trip, but she never asked to see pics of the trip. And I REALLY wanted to show her the trip pics. It would have been my way of coming out to her. I just wanted to her to see them and I wish that she would have asked to see them. It would have made me feel better. Because not enough people here in Iowa have seen my pictures and I just want to show them to people. In a way it makes me feel good.

Broke from there and had a good talk on the way home about moving and shit. I’m really stressing abou it, and where I want to go mostly. I mean I’d like to be ANYWHERE in Cali. So now I have to make a choise as to where I’m going. And again that whole Andrew kid comes into the situation, and I try not to think about where he’s going, but I want to be closer to him so much. Anyways, more info on that for the private entry.

Got home, and had to help Beak finish moving her apartment around since she got drunk the night before and rearranged things. I’m thinking I should do that. Cause I’ve really been wanting to rearrange my apartment. It’s getting really boring the way that it is. Though I’ll have to get rid of a lot of the shit that I don’t want before I do it. Like the nordictrak and the fitness flyer. (If you want a nordictrak you can call me. I sell it to you!)

After that I broke and went downtown again to see if anyone was there. Shepely was there, and as soon as he saw me he came up to me and hugged me and then said Too bad you’re waiting for someone. I was like how random. The convo went downhill from there and I broke shortly after. Came home and talked to Andrew on the phone for like another hour.

Broke and went to bed.

This morning I got up really late because I didn’t really care to get out of bed. Showered, and then sat around the house reading the paper and watching TV. Andrew called about noon and we ended up talking for nearly 2 hours. I didn’t want to let him go, today but he needed to break. So that’s cool.

After that I came home and that’s where I be now. Laters all!

EDIT:// So there’s this movie called “Crazy in Alabama” that ALWAYS makes me cry. I suggest anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, go watch it.. VERY good!

Blah Blah Blah

Yep. I’m back. Not much really going on. Classes, classes, etc.

Work yesterday was pretty good, I was really busy all day long and Sue e-mailed me. I found it really touching, she said…”You are a wonderful young man” How nice of her!

After work was class, and we made our groups, I have one person in it that was in my group over the summer and he’s pretty good at getting things done, and the third guy is cute, so that’s always a plus! lol.

Once that was over, it was back home. I just spent the night laying around and not really doing anything. I watched three, count them THREE episodes of the west wing… I LOVE that show so much. I can’t wait tell it premiers again. No one best be bothering me during that time! 😛

After that I called Andrew and told him night. After that I had a bit of a break down, well alright, More then a bit of one. I spent most of the night crying and didn’t really sleep much. I wasn’t really sad. It was more of a happy cry, I’m preparing for the day he comes back! lol. I just can’t wait for it to happen though.

We did have a bit of a sad talk today though, about him and colleges. I just really hope that things “happen” to work out and we end up in the same area. We both are saying that we’re not basing our decisions on where the other is going, but we both know that we are doing that. Like he said tonight, I just wish we KNEW now where we are going to be in a year. I think that’s what the hardest thing is. Not knowing.

Anyways, this morning I got up really early, after not getting much sleep, and going to classes.

We were in the new room this morning for MGMT 414, and the BUILDING was FREEZING! I was soo cold. And the prof kept coming over and standing next to me. And I felt really stupid because everyone was looking at him and it was just very annoying. I’ll be sure not to sit there next class. And to wear a hoodie to that room! ::shivers::

It was in general cold today, I liked it. Cool nights and warm days.. Just want I want. I can’t wait tell I’m in Cali and can actually get that, year round eveN!!

After that I caught the bus over to Lago, and had class there. A lot of people went up today after class and complained that they couldn’t understand what the prof was talking about. I found that amusing. All I wanted to do was sign the attendance sheet.

I broke after that and ran into Vero infront of Carber. We talked for a bit, but we were both on our way somewhere, so it wasn’t long.

I went up and registered with Career Services. I’ll have to check out the website tomorrow to see if there’s any good jobs to apply to. And then I’ll have to start the process for Career Fair. I can’t believe that it’s coming up already! Very scary. I hope that something happens!

Once that was done, I ran up and checked e-mail and did a few other things, then ran down and called up K&G in PC. I talked to my former Ass-Manager, who is now the manager. She said she didn’t have any Overnights open, but that Ankey with Karren did. So I called there and asked and she said she did. So that’s cool. I could work there. But I think it’s the Karren from the PC K&G and if it is I HATE HATE HATE her with a passion. She’s such a bitch, I’d never be able to work for her again! So maybe Melanie will have something that I can work in PC, or maybe I’ll talk to the people here in town. Though I think they pay less then the one in PC and Ankeny. So we’ll see what happens though.

I really want to work overnights there though because they get like $14 an hour. So with that *8 hours a day and twice a week, that’d add up to some pretty good cash. And I really need some cash if I”m going to cali over spring break to look for places to live. Plus moving costs are going to be insane! I think Dorm said it cost him like $1200 to move to the east coast. And then I’ll have to have someone come with me to help move, and then I’d probably have to pay for the plane ticket back to Iowa for them, or whatever. So yeah. Very scary.

Anyways, that’s a LONG ways away yet.

Once that was over, I went to class #3, I fell asleep in there, bad me. So I must go to bed here soon. Once that was over I went and worked out. I did my chest and abs again on the machines and then ran for a bit. After that I did sit ups and then broke cause it was time for class number 4.

That was alright, didn’t really do much and she babbled a lot. Blah blah blah. She’s fairly interesting though, so that’s good. She needs to be for being such a late class.

Grabbed a bus after that, I missed the Express Blue, so I had to take the regular blue. Which put me home at 5:10, ten minutes after I told Andrew I’d be home. I was affraid he might be mad, but he wasn’t even online, so that was good.

I quickly grabbed something to eat, and then Andrew wanted to call me, so I told him he could. We talked for a long while, which was good and I hope that I helped out some. There’s really not much that I can tell him. I mean, I know what I WANT him to do. I want him to stay in SoCal, but if he wants to go to SFSU, then that’s fine too. Like I said, we can’t base our decisions on each other. I really have NO idea where I”m going to be in a year, and neither does he.

I think we can try, but there’s no gaurantee. Which sucks. Because I really want to be closer to him. I’ve got such a great friend, I don’t want to loose that. I’d be willing to move wherever, just to keep him as a friend.

And as I’ve said before. I have no real ideas where I ABSOLUTELY want to move too. I mean, I have ideas. But I’m open for options. I’d move to SF, or Cupertino or SD, or wherever. The other day I was even thinking maybe Palm Springs, but that’s mostly a retirement community and I don’t think there’d be much there for me to do as an MIS guy. Though I bet there’s something.

After we talked, he broke to call Courtney, and I shaved, and changed. Then we talked a little bit more online and I missed my bus YET AGAIN! I really suck at that shit.

Speaking of missing the bus. It’s really funny watching Freshman trying to figure out the bus schedule. Three of the five buses would have got them to the place they were going, but they didn’t get on ANY OF THEM! They finally figured out that they were at the “wrong” bus stop. But as I said, THREE of the FIVE busses that passed that stop would have taken them to towers. Stupids.

So I finally caught the 6:50 bus and got to campus shortly after 7. Walked around some and then went to the Alliance meeting. NO one really good there, mostly lesbians, which are amusing, but not the best. I guess there’s going to be a camping trip the end of this month, but I don’t think that I’ll go. I don’t really want to be out in the wilderness with a ton of lesbians and one big gay man (though I think there’s others going, all not so cute).

Speaking of, why don’t the cuties come to the alliance things??? Or why are they not even OUT! That’s what I REALLY want to know. Whores.

There was one cutie there, but Joel had already snatched him up. Good luck with that Joel.

Speaking of cute boys, I’ve been meaning to mention this ever since school started. I haven’t noticed any where NEAR as many cute boys on campus this semester. I don’t know if they’re all still hiding, or if they all graduated, or flunked out, or my guess is that I’m just happier with what I had, so I don’t really care anymore. But whatever the cause, they just aren’t around anymore.

I broke from the alliance meeting about 8:30, and just MISSEd the bus YET AGAIN! So I had to wait around tell 8:51 to get the next bus. Got that and made it here shortly after 9.

I’ve been typing this and watching House Hunters ever since. I really like this show because it always reminds me of how much fun I’m going to have once I have my own house!

I’ve been thinking about that lately, and it really annoys me that I can’t paint the walls in the apartment, it’s all so bland and white, and boring. And right now, more then anything I need a bit more color. So I’m going on a quest to find some good stuff to put up. I already have the pics back up and in frames, so that’s cool. Now I really need something for my bedroom.

And I think I’m going to go buy another Ken Doll. My Ken is getting sad with no one else. He needs a boyfriend. Perhaps a cute little surfer boy.

Anyways, time for bed.. Night all!