FYI hate you

Tonight I guess was fairly interesting. Skinny and I went to Allysons and then the 3 of us went to Hairy Mary’s, to a punk rock show. It was the first I’d ever been too. It was interesting, the music was cool, and some big fat drunk men were definitely flying into me. That was a bit unsettling, but I had fun. I did not enjoy the fact that it probably reached 10000 degrees in the place. I thought I would collapse. Then we went to Fazoli’s and creepy man was weird. “Do you know the score to the Iowa game?” “No.” “Do you know the score to the Iowa State game?” “No.” “Is your car the white one with its lights on?” “NO, what is this 20 questions?!?!” Yeah that happened, it was really funny.
Anyways, we ended up going downtown (imagine that) and we met up with Brian Niblo and Alex and Brian’s friend Sree. Yeah Jeremiah was there too. I was like eww gross, but oh well. I was Mr. Quotes tonight. I honestly couldn’t think of anything funny to say on my own, so I just quoted random shit all night. Everyone found it funny, so that’s what counts. I made people laugh. yay.
On the way home, Skinny and I talked about how guys here suck. Everyone is either slutty, and if not that, then they have some sort of problem with them *ahem*alocholism compulisive lying*ahem* Not that I know anyone like that.. lol
But it just kinda sucks. I honestly do not think I will date until I go to college, or at least until the summer when David comes back. I miss David. The more I see and meet more gay people here, and the more I realize how people really are, and the more I see the reality of some shit that goes on, the more I realize that David is my soul mate. I just can’t imagine being with anyone else, or wanting to be with anyone else. Seeing how everyone is slutty, or problematic, or whatever else just proves that. Because David was such a wonderful guy, my standards have been raised HIGH. And the thing is, I don’t think there is another guy out there who can/will do for me what David has done/will do(?). It just sucks that circumstances don’t work and all. Though I have a fear. My biggest fear right now is that over the summer or xmas break or something, I’ll see David. If I see him, no fail, both of us will fall in love again (actually, it isn’t falling in love again, it’s seeing the person, and realizing that you never stopped loving them). And what happens next? Well, let me tell you. We hang out, we kiss, we proclaim our love for each other, regardless of whether we are seeing someone else (hmm sound familiar?), and then we date (maybe). But my fear is this: That all this shit will go down over the summer, we spend 3 wonderful months together, and then.. BAM! Andrew moves off to California and everything is ruined. I have wanted to go to college in California all my damn life. I’m not sure how I could possibly pick between my love and my dreams. There is always the fear that things with David would not work out and then I would be stuck at a school I didn’t want to be at. I like how none of this has even happened. But I really think its gonna. I know that I won’t go the entire summer without seeing him. And in all honesty, I want to ask him to come to NJ with me. There isn’t anyone in the world I would rather go with. Which is weird, cause it would be like “Hi, we’ve talked some, and haven’t seen each other all year, but will you go to New Jersey to see my family with me?” Right. But I think he would do it. And that would be great. We could tour NY together, go swimming in the ocean together, go visit Erin, take walks down the boardwalk. I wish it was like that. Perhaps I’ll convince David to come move to California with me. We can live together and be the happy couple that I know is within us. Or maybe I have to wait 5 years until we can be together. Ugh, I’m so damn impatient. I think I am gonna call him later this week. He did tell me to call. It sucks, everytime I call, I want to ask if he still has feelings for me, and everytime we hang up, I always want to say “I love you.” Honestly, there always seems to be a little pause when we are about to say bye, and I think both of us wants to say I love you, and at the same time, both of us knows it just makes things harder. Like it’s not so bad when I don’t know what he feels, but if I know for a fact that he loves me, it makes it worse b/c I know that we CAN and SHOULD be together, but we AREN’T. I am so reading far too deep into everything. But it’s like, I don’t even find people very attractive anymore. David was the epitome of everything. Grr.. why is it like this? I think life is playing a cruel trick on me. It must hate me. Oh well…. I’ll survive, as I always do.
I love my Goose. Hope he still loves me too.

Soups On

LOL oh the Simpsons. YAY SIMPSONS! Anyways, today has been rather uneventful. I reshot all my pictures so hopefully they come out well. If they don’t I’m gonna shoot myself in the face… or shoot again, whichever will work better.
Well I got a request for a character list. LOL. So here goes.
MAIN CHARACTERS-these are the people I will probably be referring to most often.
Andrew McGeehan-this is me. Anyone who reads this should know who I am, so no further explanation is needed.
Erin-this is my best friend in NJ. She isn’t really a girlscout cookie seller, but I love her anyway. Oh, and she can’t conduct herself at wakes.
David-this is my ex boyfriend that I am still in love with. Yeah, it sucks, but he really is a great guy.
Skinny AKA Mike-a good friend of mine, I used to have a crush on him.
Jenny-another good friend of mine, we have grown a little apart in the recent weeks, but I still consider her one of my better friends.
Ginny-another good friend. Freshman year she was really mean to me. She’s still mean, but I like her now! 🙂
Mom-my mother. She’s eccentric, weird, crazy, and everything else. But I love her!
Dustin-a really good friend of mine who moved to Iowa City to go to college. We dream of going to California together.
Rachel-she has been there for me ever since freshman year. We’ve always been good friends. She is VERY eccentric (more so than mother) and sometimes she can pull me out of a bad mood with a simple song and dance lol.
Katie-Katie is another good friend of mine (sheesh I have a lot of good friends) She is bitter as anything, and that’s what we love about her. Sarcasm is needed when dealing with her.
Courtney-Yet another wonderful friend. We’ve been friends forever, and she is just great. Also known as my “sugerpie” and “honeybunch.”
Sheila-a good friend. We met on the job (at Hy-Vee). The night we met, we performed “Operation Ben” and have been inseperable ever since. She goes to U of I.
Emily-wild and crazy girl who moved here from Milwaukee. She’s really sweet, and we always have good times scooping the loop together!
Laura-she is awesome! We are eyebrow ring buddies. I really like Laura and don’t get to see her as much as I’d like to.
Adam-a really cool guy that I met through Skinny. He is awesome, and he used to hate me, but now things are excellent! I love you!
Chris-Adam’s boyfriend. He is really fun and random, that’s what I like about him. He’s really cool to hang out with.
Brian Niblo-another friend from downtown. He’s really smart and interesting to talk to.
NOT SO MAIN CHARACTERS-this is the section for everyone else. (no offense, these are just people I don’t get to see or talk to as much.)
Julian-another boy from Group, Youth Alliance, etc. He shares the same passion I do for excellent RPG’s. He’s really cool too.
Theresa-her and Laura usually come as a pair, but not as much lately. She is really fun as well.
Lindsay-the only sophomore in Publications, she is really cool and even though I used to not like her, she is A-OK by me now!
Jeremy-the boy who incited me to write this list. The self-proclaimed “Queen of Sass” he’s really sarcastic, but in a fun way.
Sarah S.-she is really fun. She took my place at the Floral Department. She’s so cute and we always have Espanol together!
Kristin-we have been friends for awhile, and we always have good times together. I usually don’t see her except for English and Spanish class, but she is great!
Samantha-another friend who I don’t get to see too much, but she is so cute and great! I love having Physics with her!
Marcus-Katie’s boyfriend. He is really nice, and a good guy to have around.
Gerry-about the best straight guy friend I have. He’s into gay rights and loves every last one of us! yay Gerry!
Savanna-she’s sooooo sweet! She is really fun and I love to talk to her, she always makes me laugh.
Erin M-I talk to her all the time at my locker, she’s really fun and super cute!
Alanna-alanna is a speech buddy of mine “bubble together” and we are always laughing and entertaining each other.
Scott-we have been friends ever since my freshman year. Sadly, I do not get to see him as often now that he is at college, but he’s still around!
Danielle-a real cool cat who is currently in Argentina, studying. She will be back in January, I can’t wait! Love you!
Sonoma-she is so sweet! I used to refer to her as “the girl that keeps me straight” Not so much anymore, but she is still wonderful!
Natalie-another friend from school, who is precious!
Jesup-a boy I work with at the Gas Station. He also goes to my school, he’s really nice.
David 2-this is not to be confused with the original David. This David is nice and we see each other a lot downtown, he also gets gas at my gas station.
Alex-new boy from Tennessee (sp?) He has a cute little accent and is pretty nice.
Stephanie-she is the greatest! She wrote me a note practically every day during Advanced Math last year. A very nie and kind person!
Sasha-very uplifting and spiritual person. She is always trying to make everyone happy and she is involved in EVERYTHING!
Tracey-I have known her since freshman year, and I think we’ve had a billion classes together. She’s nice and can sometimes be very funny.
Chelsy-she is soo cute! we’ve also been friends since freshman year (not good ones though) and we have lockers next to each other, so we always bitch about the idiots at our school.
Kaci-I haven’t really talked to her much except this year, she’s really random though, that’s what I like!
Erin T-she is super-smart, and also really nice. We gripe about things together.
Kiersten-she is fairly new to our school. She is very pretty, and we laugh a lot during econ. Especially when we use “predatory pricing” to destroy the game. Whoops..
Jessie-Katie’s sister, I don’t see her very much, but she rocks!
Sarah W.-she is really cool! We did an acting ensemble freshman year and I’ve never forgotten her! I don’t see her much because she is always at Central. She’s great though.
Jeremiah-first guy I ever went out with. Nuff said.
Naithen-we dated for a month and he broke up with me right after his show choir show, on stage, in front of everyone. Tactful.
Will-really hot guy. We dated for a little bit.
Jeremy-ooh, not my greatest decision. Oh well, he was nice, I guess..
Brian-also known as Big BP. He moved to Texas. I haven’t seen him in awhile.

Well, I think those are all the people that I’ll ever mention, unless I meet new people in which case I won’t be adding them here because that would be too much work. Now on to what is actually going on in my life.
Well I go upstairs today after school, and Kelly (my sis) and Mother seem to be fighting. I guess John is going to have an interview for a job in Florida. So she was freaking out because she thinks just cause he has an interview, we are packing our bags next week. Hello, first of all, we aren’t going to go at least until I graduate, cause I’m not just gonna pack up with only 3 terms left. I’m gonna stay at Waukee. She is just stupid. She was like crying and stuff. I think it would be neat to move again, and I regret that maybe I won’t be around to experience that. My mom was like “Now go look for colleges in Florida.” I was like “mmm no, Florida is too hot for me.” Anyways, she started yelling at me about something random, which made no sense. I was like “Do what you want, I’m going to California.” The only downside, which I just realized, is that if they move to Florida, then I have absolutely no incentive to come back to Iowa ever. I won’t come back on holidays cause I won’t have any family here. Which would be sad, because I might not be able to see my friends anymore, or David, and that would just be traumatic. But I’m not gonna be like my sis and pretend we’ve moved already. I personally doubt that we will actually move, and when we do, it won’t affect me. However, if they move to Florida, Mother will be even further from California, and she may not enjoy that, and may prevent me from going. GRR… why does she have to try and stop me from doing what I want to do? Sorry, but I have my own life, and I am going to go where I want to go. I want to experience everything I possibly can. Oh well.
Skinny better call soon, I’m getting restless.
My first Friday in, oh I don’t know, EVER, that I don’t have to work! YAY!