picture – Page 19 – Chris' Site

Week One… Down

Well, I was going to wait tell later this evening to write this update, but we got out of my last class an hour early, so I’m going to go ahead and write it now.

Week number one is over with. That’s right, one week ago tonight, I was saying goodbye to the boy that I loved. WE stood there on the Chapman University, in Orange California and held each other for the last time. We kissed each other goodbye for the last time, and we took the last picture of us together.

We stood there, and talked for about an hour while we waited for the cab to get there.

As the cab got there, we hugged on last time, and gave each other one last quick kiss. And with that, our relationship ended, and we were just friends.

Anyways, you all know that story of what happened.

But it’s been a week, and how am I doing?

Horrible… That’s how.

I go to bed every night and I cry because I want him to be back here. I want to lay with and hold him in my arms when I go to bed. I want to see his face again, and kiss his cheak.

I want it all to be over, college life, and everything. I don’t want to be sad.

I really hope that the next 18 weeks go by very fast. I can’t wait to see his face come walking down those stairs at the DSM airport. I really can’t.

What I really need right now is for someone to give a shit. I want someone to sit down and listen to my stories about our trip to NJ, and NY, and Orange. I want someone to sit with me and go through the pictures. And then when I start crying. I want someone to hold me, and to comfort me.

I want to feel his arms around me again, those comforting arms. Whenever he hugged me, I knew it was alright. I knew that I could cry about it, and that someone would be there to tell me that it’ll be alright. But now, I have no one.

No one wants to listen to my stories about our trip. No one wants to see the pictures.

When I got back to Work, everyone asked how my trip was. My responce was always the same… “It was good, but very emotionaly stressful.” Everyone just said, “Oh, that’s nice” and then walked off. I really wanted someone to say, “Oh, what do you mean.” So that I can tell them that I just left he most wonderfuly boyfriend in Orange, and now I’m scared. And I want him back.

A Hard Day

It’s been a very hard day here for me. Sitting in my office thinking about Andrew and how much fun I’m sure he’s having out there in Cali…

I bet he’s already forgotten all about us, and he’s just having a blast. lol.

No, actually we’ve talked a bit today and it’s good to talk to him, through IM I can always just imagine that he’s only 40 minutes away in Waukee, but I’ll always know in the back of my head that he’s actually half way across the country.

It will take a while for that to really kick in here, for me to really realize that I won’t see him again tell Christmas, maybe longer if his PU’s don’t let him come back. I really want him to stay longer then he in over the break, but I know that he can’t. It’ll be really hard to let him go again after seeing him. I know it will… But let’s not look to far into the future, right now I just have to live each day as it comes, and hopefully they’ll all go by much faster than today has.

I spent the day mostly just sitting in front of my computer, only doing the tasks that sounded fun.

I did print off all the pictures from the trip that I wanted physical copies of, and that was nice. I put some of them up on my wall here at work.

I really want to put up more of them, but I fear that people might think I’m a bit crazy with so many pics up. So maybe they’ll go up at home, if I get around to putting that wall of pictures up again.

I did get them all up online as well. They are located here.

Well, I have to go now before I start crying more in my office. Laters all.

Almost Home

Well here I am sitting at the Detroit airport. It’s a really big airport, and really nice.

I’ve been here for about an hour and a half now and still have the same to go. I hate long lay-overs. Though this airport is a good one to have it in. It’s HUGE. So far I’ve walked the whole thing and just looked around, it’s really pretty.

Also sat down and ate a chili’s.

Gave Andrew a call and his phone rang, but he never picked up, so I left a message. Hopefully he’ll call back before I board.

The flight here was pretty nice overall. I spent most of the time sleeping, well probably half sleeping, it was a 4 hour flight. Thankfully I didn’t have anyone in the seat right next to me, so I could kinda spread out some.

The other half of the flight I spent crying and looking at all the pictures of the trip. I’ve only been gone for a couple hours, well more then a couple, but hardly long at all and I miss him so much.

I am looking forward to getting home though, and being in my own bed. Though it will also be very hard. As I’ve said before.

Anyways, I’m going to go write a private update about everything, so you all don’t have to deal with my gushing.

As We Say Goodbye

Wow, All I’ve got so far is the title, and I’m already starting to cry. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be a happy entry.

Lets start off with the rest of Monday night. We got to the Airport and I waited around for them to get there. Finally they showed up, but then it took forever to get the luggage.

Got to the hotel and dropped off our stuff and then headed out to Target to get stuff fro Andrew’s Dorm room. We found it and then decided to eat, so we stopped at a Subway and got some food. Good times, after that we walked over to Target and got stuff.

Andrew seemed to be getting very annoyed with his mother there. I tried to comfort him some, but I don’t really think it helped much. We got a bunch of stuff and then headed back to the hotel.

Sue’s a very scary driver. Especially when she’s on her cell phone and trying to drive at the same time. I’m surprised she hasn’t killed someone yet!

Back at the hotel, Sue went to bed and Andrew and I went to the hot tub. Sat in there and talked untell some straight boys notice there was a gay couple in there and stated sitting on their balcony and yelling funny things.

Went back to the room after that and sat and talked, we didn’t really talk about much and now I’m really regretting that. There’s so much that I wanted to talk about now, so much that I wanted to say to him to tell him how much he means to me, and how much I’m going to miss him. Anyways, All the gushing is for a private entry, I’ll spare all you that.

About 11 or so we went to bed, though that was really about 2AM New Jersey time, so we were really tired.

Didn’t sleep well at all that night, probably because of my nerves, we both were awake again by 5:30. Again, I would also have to say that has to do with our biological clocks, it would have been 8:30 in New Jersey.

We laid in bed tell 7:30 when Sue called us to see if we wanted to go to breakfast, so we did. Ate and then went back to the room to get ready to go. There was an accident on one of the roads that we needed to take, so Sue insisted on leaving UBER early, we left the hotel about 9:30, even though Andrew didn’t check in tell Noon.

Got there about 10:30, after stopping at a drugstore to get a few things we forgot, and driving around the area. The accident wasn’t.

Once we got there we walked around campus some. It was so pretty there and it makes me REALLY mad that I didn’t get into SDSU, and didn’t apply anywhere else. I really liked it there even though it was a pretty small campus. It was nice and comfy and Andrew should get along great there! All the people were so friendly.

About 11:30 or so we headed over to his dorm and got checked in.

One of his other roommates showed up shortly after we got there and they talked. Both of his roommates seem very nice, though one of them is a Basketball player and the other is a football player. That’ll be semi-nice for Andrew because that will mean they will be gone a lot, for practices and away games, etc. Also they both live fairly close, so I would guess they would go home on some weekends.

The whole move in thing was a mess and I just stayed back out of the way. The parents were all fighting over how the room should be set up and the Kids didn’t care, all very funny. Plus the other two roomies both brought like their WHOLE family with them, there were so many people in the room it was hard to get around.

We broke for lunch about 1ish and it was really good. After that went back to his room and hung out some.

His mom called and got an earlier flight, so she left about 3ish. I tried giving her some money for everything that she’s done for me, but she wouldn’t take it. I eventually got her to, after throwing it at her and then quickly jumping back in the room and locking the door.

After that it was just me and Andrew for a little bit and he set up a lot of his room, he really does well with that, and it was starting to look like someone lived there by the time that I left. Very cute area. I have pictures of it all and I’ll have to post them when I get time. Actually I have close to 150 picutres of the trip. Everyone of them is cute and has a wonderfully story behind it.

We sat around his room forever, him talking to his roommate and setting up.

About 6:30 we went over to the Luau (Spelling??). That was tons of fun, though the food sucked. So we hung out there for about an hour and then went over to a c-store and got some ice cream with his roomie.

After that it was back to the dorm, I sat around while he and everyone else was in meetings. That was alright, I put the pictures that I had on his computer and watched a slide show of them all, set to the music of the CD that I had made him. I cried a lot while he was gone, mostly because I wanted to get it all out before we had to say our final goodbyes that night.

After he got back we headed right out to say our goodbyes. I got a bit annoyed because as we were walking across campus I wanted to hold his hand, it would be the LAST time that I got to walk around with him, and hold his hand, but he didn’t want too. He was too afraid. But I was annoyed because there was NO ONE around to be afraid of, it was just us. Whatever though. I got over it. I didn’t want to ruin our last time together.

I called a taxi at 10, and asked for it to be at the corner of Orange and Palm at 10:30. We had 30 minutes to say goodbye.

Well 10:30 rolled around and we had got most of the crying out of the way and were just waiting around for the taxi to get there,. 10:40, I called the company to find out where the hell my cab was. They said that it had already picked someone up,.

I was SO pissed off, I mean how the hell could it have picked up the wrong person. WE were the ONLY people standing at the corner of Orange and Palm. How in the WORLD could it have picked up the wrong people, so I stated bitching at the guy, mostly because I was very emotional and very stressed out. And the fucker HUNG up on me!

So I called back and just calmly asked for another cab. By that time it was 10:52 or so. The cab finally got there at 11:10 and I got home at 11:30.

I’m very glad that I had a good cab driver though, he talked to me the whole way home, so I didn’t have any time to just sit there and stew about Andrew being gone, about how I had to leave him in this place where he’s all alone. But I’m sure that by that time today, he’ll have made friends.

The ride was $31 dollars though, I couldn’t believe how expensive it was.

Saying goodbye wasn’t has hard as I thought it would be, Don’t get me wrong it was so hard for me to get in that taxi and leave him standing there on the corner by himself. I couldn’t hardly stand it.

And I was very annoyed with myself because while I was waiting for him to get out of his meeting, I though of so much that I wanted to say to him before we left each other, but then as we were standing there saying goodbye, I couldn’t think of any of it. And there still is so much that I want to say to him,.

I still can’t believe though that last night was the last time I’m going to get to see him tell Christmas. The last time, All I have now are the pictures and I just don’t know if I can handle that. I didn’t want him to go. I want him to come back to Iowa.

I can’t believe that when I get back to Iowa, I won’t have him to call up on the weekends and say, Hey want to go out.

I can’t believe that I no longer have such a wonderfull boyfriend. I’ve lost him. And I can only hope that some day our paths will cross again.

This flight home is going to be a long one, and so is theride home for the airport. I don’t know if I can handle that or not. I just want the next 4 months to be over, I want it to be Christmas so that we can see each other again. I want it to be next summer so that we can be together again.

I really really hope that plans work out so that he can be in Ames next summer. And I hope even more that he can get into SDSU. Because now being back in Cali for even these three days I’ve fallen back in love with it.

I remember when I loved it there so much the first time, and now I want to go back and make that my home.

Anyhow, once I got back, was very hard though, staying in the hotel room where just the night before we had been together, and slept in the same bed together. Seeing that he had forgotten his flight stubs, and there was a pair of his underwear in the bathroom. These little reminders of him, made me so sad. I just laid in bed for a while crying.

This morning I got up and checked out. I got a nice driver again for the ride to the airport and I was the only one in the shuttle, so we talked a bit. He was deffinitaly gay and we talked about the area and how great it is to live there.

Got to the airport and the lines were all uber long, though I got through in plenty of time. I only had to wait about a 20 minutes before they stated boarding the plane.

And now here I am, we’ve been in the jet about an hour now, and it’s a 4 hour flight, I’ll be into Detroit about 4:00 Eastern time. I don’t want to be there.

Bitch Bitch Bitch

So some people just don’t know when to stop bitching. We’ve been on this flight now for an hour and someone is still bitching about the same thing she was bitching about when she got on the god damn flight.

This plane has 6 seats, 3 on each side of the isle.

There’s a family, that needs 4 seats, 3 on one side of the isle, 1 on the other side. The other two seats are empty.

Another family gets on, they are spread all over the plane. 4 people, The dad talks to one of the attendants or whatever they are called, and gets it so that his wife and one of his SMALL (IE 5 or 6) children are sitting in those two empty seats next to the father of afore mentioned family. The other small child of family number 2 is in the middle seat infront of the mother and small child number 1. The father of family number 2 is in seat 16f, 10 rows infront of his wife and other SMALL children.

It becomes vary apparent that small child number 2 needs to sit next to mother. So the famther of Family number 1, sitting across the isle from his family and two TEENAGE kids offers to move foreward ONE row.

His wife then begins to throw a HUGE hissy fit, because they are doing things to to help family number 2 be closer together and they are pulling her family apart.

Now, first off, she has two TEENAGE kids, who I’m sure don’t want to sit next to each other, and REALLY don’t want to sit next to their mother who is now being UBER emarassing. I was embarrassed for them!

And secondly, the FATHER of family number 1 OFFERED to move so that family number 2’s children could both sit with their mother!

She bitched and bitched about it so much that they had to have the captian of the plane come back and ask her to calm down or else she would have to leave the plane.

I wanted to turn around and bitch at her and be like, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING you stupid fucking woman!

She bitched so much, and no EVERYTIME that an attendant walks by she bitches at them some more about it. What a WHORE face.

God I really want to turn around and bitch slap her!

Anyways, other then that the flight is going really well. I’ve taken a few more pics and stuff, so that’s exciting. I got out my computer so that I could put them on here, but I can’t find the thing to do that. So It’ll have to wait tell I get home, or at least to the airport so that I can dig through my bag a bit more.

My flight left right on time, and we’re going to be into Huston a bit early, so hopefully Andrew and Sue’s flight is going well too.

It’s very pretty flying up here today, just the right amount of clouds and you can see the ground pretty clearly. It’s so pretty. Really makes me want to fly more often then I do. I hope that I can continue to afford to fly some.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Andrew’s Grandpa gave me a hug at the airport, I thought that was really sweet of him.

Anyways, I’m going to go look at my pictures now. Laters all!