Well, I was going to wait tell later this evening to write this update, but we got out of my last class an hour early, so I’m going to go ahead and write it now.
Week number one is over with. That’s right, one week ago tonight, I was saying goodbye to the boy that I loved. WE stood there on the Chapman University, in Orange California and held each other for the last time. We kissed each other goodbye for the last time, and we took the last picture of us together.
We stood there, and talked for about an hour while we waited for the cab to get there.
As the cab got there, we hugged on last time, and gave each other one last quick kiss. And with that, our relationship ended, and we were just friends.
Anyways, you all know that story of what happened.
But it’s been a week, and how am I doing?
Horrible… That’s how.
I go to bed every night and I cry because I want him to be back here. I want to lay with and hold him in my arms when I go to bed. I want to see his face again, and kiss his cheak.
I want it all to be over, college life, and everything. I don’t want to be sad.
I really hope that the next 18 weeks go by very fast. I can’t wait to see his face come walking down those stairs at the DSM airport. I really can’t.
What I really need right now is for someone to give a shit. I want someone to sit down and listen to my stories about our trip to NJ, and NY, and Orange. I want someone to sit with me and go through the pictures. And then when I start crying. I want someone to hold me, and to comfort me.
I want to feel his arms around me again, those comforting arms. Whenever he hugged me, I knew it was alright. I knew that I could cry about it, and that someone would be there to tell me that it’ll be alright. But now, I have no one.
No one wants to listen to my stories about our trip. No one wants to see the pictures.
When I got back to Work, everyone asked how my trip was. My responce was always the same… “It was good, but very emotionaly stressful.” Everyone just said, “Oh, that’s nice” and then walked off. I really wanted someone to say, “Oh, what do you mean.” So that I can tell them that I just left he most wonderfuly boyfriend in Orange, and now I’m scared. And I want him back.