Tag: office

Private: OGs Blog

Ha, OG just posted this… What’s he doing sitting inside my head?

what is it that one is supposed to do with one’s life? Is it to be better? Better than what? Better than who? And when you are better, is that it? what about then? Is one supposed to get things? to get wealth? to get stuff? and when you get it, is that it? What happens then?

If one feels empty, how does one fill up? and once you fill up again are you destined to always run out? And do you have to fill up again?

What is one’s life all about? Grow up, go to school… or not… get a job.. or not. Have a family and kids so you can go visit other families with kids. Do families-with-kids stuff like soccer practice and sunday games. Attend events with people you dont know while pretending that you do. Is this what is all about? And when you’ve done all this, then what?

You get up in the morning and go to work… break your back in a mostly contraceptive and detttachaed work environment. Then you go home and start all over again… just for the weekend, just for the paycheck. Oh, and also to justify pretending that you care about what you are doing.

And for what? at the end of the day everything you’ve done so far does not matter. And what’s more important… is that you have zip to show for. Nobody’s life was saved, no great achievement was acomplished. So what is our life for?

 

 

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In other news…. Austin’s being crazy still. He says he’s so into this other guy, but yet he calls me all the time all day long. Like when he’s on his way home, etc.

We got into yesterday twice.. Once because the night before I had asked him to the boom with me. He said he would call me back and let me know. He never did. I called him twice and he didn’t answer. He went out with Orlando. he lied to me saying he “fell asleep”. Yeah right.

What a fucking jerk. He’s so rude. So I was like, “goodbye for now.” and then like an hour later he IMed me again and said, “We have communication issues, I promise I’ll try harder.” And then he went on talking like nothing happened. It was so random.

Then later in the day, he asked me if I knew what a VLAN was. I said I did, but apparently I had a tone and he got all pissed off about that and hung up on me! OMG! Drama Queen.

Anyways. So it looks like I’m just going to be second fiddle to him from now on. IE, he only wants to do things with me if Orlando doesn’t call.

But WHY does he keep calling me so fucking much. Gah, it’s just wierd.

I have an office lined up, now to just approach my boss about going back. I had a long convo with my mom about it all and she had some good ideas, but I dunno. I’m just really nervous about appearing to be flakey, etc.

I’m out.

Prep Work

So I started some prep work in a effort to return to Iowa for a week without having to take it as vacation.

I honestly don’t see why the would have any problem with it here.. I mean all the work I do could be done from a beach in the Bahamas for gods sake!

So I called Krell this morning to see if I could use an office there. I asked for Barb first, but she’s apparently still in DC for another year. 🙁 Then I asked for my favorite person Nazanin. She wasn’t there either, so then I just started listing everyone else. I think the secretary thought I was crazy. Finially I found someone in the office who was there! Lucy! I love Lucy!

Anyways, so I talked to Lucy and she was all “Oh it’d be good to have you back in the office and I’m sure it won’t be a problem, blah blah blah”. So that got me in good moods.

Then I noticed like an hour later that someone from there went to my website.. Oh god!

I start looking through the logs and they did a google search for ‘nazanin cjb’. And found a page where I did a little complaining about her. Though NO WHERE near as badly as I had in other times.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice lady and all, just that she pissed me off sometimes when I was working there.

So anyways. 3 hours later, I get anohter call from Lucy.. I missed it but she left me a voice mail. Her tone was VERY different and you could tell she was just looking for a business way of saying that Nazanin said he didn’t want me there because I bad mouthed her. I have the voice mail in MP3 format, I should just post it so you can all hear. 🙂 lol.

So yeah, Krell is out for office space, hopefully Bennett will say it’s ok to use NPHS. He likes me and I’ve never bad mouthed him.

I’ve been trying to get ahold of my mother all fucking morning. I’ve called her like 20 times, the damn woman is HORRIBLE at answering her phone!

Anyways and JP is up in Santa Monica today and will be busy in meetings all day tomorrow, so it won’t be this week that I’ll be coming home… If it happens at all. :'(

God I just need to get there for a little while to become sane again!

I talked to that Jon fellow this morning, the guy I met a Boom… Come to find out he’s an IT person as well, and we had a good convo. He’s apparently going up to Mammoth with Joel and Ryan this weekend. That sounds like so much fun. I’ve been wanting to go up there!

Adios!

Breakdown….

So.. I moved into the new office today for good… I have a feeling some people are mad about that. Umm, who knows for sure, whatever. I like it. Though it’s very empty.

Lat night I kinda had a break down, with being alone again and all that… The date boy cancelled. Fuckers.

So I called Angel and bitched at her for a while. She helped. I kinda wanna just fly her out here for a week or something to hang out. Gah.

I’ve replied to a few interview offers, but haven’t heard anything from those people back yet.

My group is going good so far, there’s 13 people that have joined already! And one of them is a complete random! So that’s cool. Now it’s just to see if these people will ACTUALLY go camping or not.

This guy Nile called me like 4 times last night, but I was in bed.. I wonder what the hell he wanted. How random. I tried calling him back this morning, but he didn’t answer.

Adios

Drama… Drama!

OMG, Ok. So I wanted to also talk about this in the post #2000, but I was too destressed about the whole issue about my notebook, so here goes with this update.

So we all know that Robert sent hookup boy an e-mail on myspace, well hookup-boy sent Robert a reply saying that he’s just looking for freinds because he’s got a boyfriend and all this… SO that’s the first OMG!

That stupid whore had a boyfriend and was CHEATING! Wholy shit!

SO THEN! Like 10 minutes after hookup boy sent Robert that e-mail, Chris (hookup-boys boyfriend) sent Robert an e-mail telling him to back off, and blah blah blah…

This is where things start to get interesting! Robert and I decide to play a little game on the both of them!

Robert e-mails hookup-boy, and says.. “Thanks for having sex with my boyfriend, you whore” or something along those lines. lol.

Pretty much as SOON as he sends that he gets another e-mail from Chris asking when and what happened and all this stuff. So it’s like, is hookup-boy just that stupid that he’s sitting there reading with his boyfriend looking over his shoulder, or does the boyfriend have hookup-boys passwords and is reading his myspace e-mails, etc?

So then Robert replies back to Chris and starts telling him what happened and this and that. It was really funny and I was freaking out cause they are both military boys. It was crazy! But hookup-boy was only 19 and this Chris guy was like 30! Eww.

Eventualy Chris just starts e-mailing me and bothering me about it, and we start talking on line and he’s asking all these details and stuff. And I was so damn nervous that night, that I don’t even remember what hookup boy was wearing or anything. And Chris was asking me about like these tattoos that he has and this birth mark. ANd I was like, “Dude, I don’t remember any of that shit and he didn’t take his shirt off”. So of course it looked like I was lying

Then he’s like, “Look You have the wrong person” and so I was like, “NO dude, it’s the same guy”. So I finially just decided to send him our AIM convo, which apparently convinced him, cause he said he was going to go yell at his boy.

I dunno, like I feel good about it, because if someone cheated on me, I’d want to know, but at the same time I feel so bad about it.

That stupid hookup-boy got what was coming to him though!

I’ve been kinda hoping that one of them would contact me today and let me know what happened. lol, I’m evil like that!

But OMFG! I cannot believe this shit! It’s just crazyness!

….

In other news, the mac is still dead. I’ve been doing some data comparisons from my past backups (The last full one was in Sept! :'( .. ) and it looks like I got everything except for my pictures directory. Which isn’t a big deal because I have that backed up at home. So that’s good news, although I’m having issuees with getting the correct tools to freaking take the damn thing apart.

I looked up a Lowes on yahoo and google today and found one that’s like a mile away. So I drive there at lunch only to find that the damn directions take me into this fucking gated community, and it’s NO WHERE near a freaking shopping center. I came back to the office and did a satelite view of the area and sure enough there’s not a fucking Lowes there! So I’ve got to stop on my way home and get what I need for that.

I’m in my office that was offered to me today too, because it’s the only place with a free mac right now. I’m really liking it. Though I’d have to change some things around, because I have my back to the door right now and if anyone remembers Krell…. Well that just freaks me out!

Yep… Plans for this weekend are coming together.. We’re going to The Abbey for sure on Saturday, and we’re getting a hotel to stay at up there! 😀 Exciting!

Anyone wanna come on Saturday, let me know!

Adios!

First Session…

Ok, well I had my first session today. The guy was really nice.

I walked into his office and was attacked by this tiny little mut dog thing. It was cute, but kept trying to lick me and stuff when I was filling out the paper work. Which is annoying.

After getting all the insurance figured out, which was a pain in the ass. We got started. Like I said, he was really nice, but I felt that he spent a little too much time talking about things that didn’t matter. I would have rather just gone in on the first day and told him what I wanted to tell him about everything. Like the story of WHY I’m coming back in and all that. But Alas, I’m sure he got enough information.

I find it strange though that the sessions here are only 45 minutes. But I guess it also makes sense. So whatever. He said that he wants me to go to group therapy. I’m not sure how I feel about that. He offered me two different ons, I took the one that had the smaller group. So yeah. We’ll see how that goes. Gah.

He also suggested that I start drugs again.. But I told him that I’ve been on pretty much all of them over the years and I never really felt any change for the good. So then he suggested this other things called a Alpha-Stim. I dunno how I feel about that though! Seems very strange and like something you would see on a late night infomercial.

He also gave me homework to do! OMG! So I ordered the book today and will hopefully get it by next week… I’ve got another appointment with him on Tuesday though, which I’m sure I won’t have the book by then, but whatever.

I ignored Austin last night and this morning. Well, ok. When he got off he talked to me on AIm for like 10 seconds and when I started asking about his day he was like. “I’m to tired to talk about it”. So I just said “whatever, bye”. But yet he was still online for like 2 more hours.. One can only assume he was talking to people during those two hours, so why was he “too tired” to talk to me about how his day was. Whatever. He IMed me again at like 9:00 that night, but I ignored him then, and then he IMed me again this morning at like 8. Ignored him again. He finially called me at like 10 to see where I was at/etc. But I just told him I was in the doctors and would talk to him later. He called me back at like 11:30 to see why I was at the docs and I talked to him for like 10 minutes.

Ugh, I was talking to my friend Robert last night online. He’s hung out with both Austin and I a lot. He agrees with me that if Austin changed just a little, and wasn’t so needy that things would work out and tha we’d be a cute couple… I think part of the problem is that I expect way too much out of people, specially Austin since I liked him so much, that it just causes fights, etc.

Either way, I’m going to continue with mostly ignoring him for the rest of the week. I AM however going to invite him to come up with me to get Ginny from LA, as my plan for now is to go get her and Carl from LA and then go to Santa Monica for dinner and then maybe The Abbey after. I think it’d be good, cause Ginny can play the Bitch protector friend card, and hopefully see what the fuck is going on… (You’d do that right, Ginny?) lol. Plus I really want to go back to The Abbey, as it was lots of fun!

The rest of the time that Ginny is here isn’t very well planned and it’s kinda freaking me out. I don’t wanna be sitting around once they get here trying to think of things to do. I was thinking Luckys on Sunday night if they wanna go out both nights. But the days are completely empty. She said she wanted to spend some time at the beach, but it looks like it’s going to be too cold to do much more then go and look at it and leave. (Mid-60’s is the forecast)… Either way. It’s going to be fun hanging out with her!

Robert’s birthday is this Friday too.. I want to do something nice for him like he did for me, but I don’t really want to go out with his boyfriend, who I don’t really care for. So I’m not sure what I’ll do for him yet. Perhaps I can lure him away for a dinner or something, maybe lunch on Saturday.

Not much else going on here… Did I mention the hookup boy hasn’t responded to me? Not a big surprise, oh well. When I told Robert about it, he was so SHOCKED, it was hilarious. He forced me to show him the boys Myspace and then proceded to add him as a friend. It’s so funny… Honestly, I’m still in shock!

Anyways, that’s about it… Adios!