Tag: Mac

Holding Hands.

Gay boys and teenage girls have this much in common: both take a long time to get ready to go out, and both love going to malls.

In fact, malls have become the convergence point of modern America: brightly lit and often discounted melting pots of commerce, cash machines, and culture.

So imagine my surprise at my local mall recently, in suburban Des Moines, when I saw two 16-year-old boys walking around holding hands. Picking my jaw up off the floor, I looked around for a camera, thinking there must be a movie filming. But there was no camera. This was real life.

I shadowed them for a time, thinking they were, by example, making fun of gay people. But no – as I watched them move in and out of The Gap and Structure, I could tell the handholding was genuine, and I was awestruck at the simple act.

They were not alone, but were part of a group of teenagers, mixed male and female, including at least one obvious heterosexual pairing. They all laughed together, walked around together, made fun of each other, and shared both a common voice and common ground. It was a remarkable and moving sight, and one that I did not expect to see.

Wasn’t it just a few years ago that Matthew Shepard was tied to a fence post? And isn’t this the generation that is making Eminem a vastly popular hate-monger?

So many questions ran though my head: Was this an anomaly? Could it be some extended social science class project? Or have we been Will & Graced enough to break though some of the last barriers that separate the gay community from the straight community? Are incoming High School students now so comfortable being who they are that they will feel no need to politicize themselves for the cause? Is it simpler to “just do it” than to debate it forever?

There were other eyes following my two young men around the mall as well, especially those of older, married couples who did double takes [and in some cases , triple takes] at the sight of two 16-year-olds boys doing no more, or less, then they were doing themselves. I walked slowly and listened to some of the comments. They were not all positive, yet they were not all negative either. Said one sixty-ish woman to her husband, “It’s just like your brother. Let them be happy.”

Some people shook their heads as they walked by, while other stiffened and refused to look at all, but their eyes betrayed them. You could tell then had noticed and were unnerved by the sight. The boys themselves seemed oblivious to the ruckus they were causing by just holding hands, feeding each other ice cream at D.Q., or by holding up a leather jacket to one another to share opinions on it’s style.

I wondered if they faced persecution by anyone at their school, or if they surrounded themselves with this small group of friends who understand and are supportive. How do other boys react? Do their parents know their children are having a profound impact on people who cross their paths? And do these boys know what they may have to face in their future by being so completely honest in the present?

We hear how cool it is to be gay in high school these days, but in fact thiswas the first conclusive evidence I had seen to support that urban legend. Maybe it is true. I hope it is.

I lost the group somewhere near Sam Goody, where a sign announced that MTV was sponsoring a yearlong examination of hate crimes, urging their viewers’ acceptance of other races, religions, and preferences. And it occurred to me as I stood there in the mall, that we are at a pivotal moment in out times when a media outlet aimed at youth had the foresight to promote tolerance, and young people respond with simpler acts of kindness and affection for one another.

Having been around more teenagers in the last year then I had been for a few years had been quite enlightening for me, and in mostly a positive way. For some time I’ve been an advocate of the idea that the current generation of 16-year-olds is set to take a big step toward compassion for all lifestyles. Although we aren’t completely there yet, I’m happy to see that those steps have been taken out of a conceptual stage and into the malls of middle America-possibly. The most unlikely yet brilliant common battlefield of all.

–Thomas Long

Rain, Trees, More Rain

So this weekened was totally fun! Friday I met up with Andrew about 7ish and we went off to this drumline thing at his HS. SOOO much fun! I LOVE DRUMLINE! That was done about 9ish, and after that we went out to JJ’s and had a great time there. Stupids took forever getting my food though, and they didn’t even give me a free anything, as they did with the people that were sitting next to us. Fuckers! But it was good food. We left there late, and went home.

Saturday I got up about 7ish, showered, and then proceeded to plant 320 trees from 8AM until 4:30PM! OMG, I’m STILL in so much pain! Although last night Andrew massaged my left thigh, and it feels so good right now, but the rest of me is in SO MUCH pain! My legs hurt to stand up or to really use them in any way, it hurts to grip anything, it hurts to lift anything, and my ASS hurts too! ::whines::

Anyways, we planted all 320 fucking trees. I’m sure that if half of them make it to 20 years old, it’ll look pretty damn good, but right now, it’s just painfull. It was so annoying though because Andy was so SLOW! For every hole that he dug, I dug 6. For every tree that he planted, someone else could have planted 3 or 4. I just wanted to kick him in the face!

After we were done with that, I called Andrew and met up with him at his house. I went from there off to eat supper at the Olive Garden, walk in there, and here comes Ben Shepley walking up to me. I was like OMG, so random. Ben and I worked together at Mitigwa back in ’00 and ’01. There’s some other history there too. But anyways, we talked for a while, Andrew thought he was hot, mostly because he IS! Rarrrr at Shepley!

For some reason none of my ctrl-* keys work, and neither do my arrow keys, page up or page down keys. So VERY VERY annoying.

Anyways, the wait at Olive Garden was too long so we went to Mac Grill. We had a HORRIBLE waiter, I think we are cursed, we always get horrible waiters no matter where we go!

After that went back to my house, went hot tubbing, and had a really good time. Andrew didn’t leave until 1:30, and apparently he got in trouble from his mom. It’s like HELLO! If it’s that big of deal, you could have always called him and been like ‘bitch get your ass home!’

Sue’s so wierd!

Sunday we were supposed to have helped Beak move, she called me at like 9ish and woke me up. Told me that we weren’t going to move her because of the rain. So I was like, “That’s fine!” Yay, no more physical labor this weekend! lol

So I got up finally about 10, 10:30 and showered, Andrew called and met me over at my house, we hung out there for a while just talking and then decided to go shopping because I had $80 to spend on clothes! I got 3 gap shirts for $5, a new BROWN belt (So Andrew will stop bitching at me for wearing a black one!), and then 2 more Express Shirts. I got the red one and this other really dark yellow shirt. (Full price for one of them and I got the second for only $.09, totally cheap) I think they’ll be nice!

After that I decided that I didn’t look good enough to be out shopping, so we went to his house and got movies. Then back to my house where we spent the rest of the night on the couch watching movies and the Lucy special. I LOVE LUCY! We departed ways about 10ish.

Now I just got up and I’m waiting to go off to my first final. I’m nervous about it, but it shouldn’t be that bad!

Laters!

Fantasticly Fantastic

So Friday couldn’t have come sooner. It was SUCH a LONG day. Andrew came about, he was here about 8ish. I made him supper and we pow-wowwed on the floor and ate it. Really good food, if I do say so myself. After that we sat and watched TV, cuddled, kissed. We’re so cute together.

Umm, I wanna say about 10ish we finally decided to start drinking. So we started with the wine coolers. We each had two before we ended up making out and then eventually in bed. I really wanted to finish it all and actually get drunk. But all they did to me was make my stomach a bit wierd. So now I have stuff here. Perhaps I’ll just drink it this week.

Anyways, in bed we kissed and hugged, I rubbed his cute little ass. He’s got like the CUTEST ass I’ve ever seen. Sooooo cute! lol. Anyways, licking, kissing, cuddling. All so great. I could just do that forever! Someohow though it ended… I think I layed down next to him just cuddling. But then the next thing I knew, Andrew was moving around alot. Trying to get under the covers, and he woke me. I got under the covers too and was just cuddling him. That moved on to kissing, and then to other things. Before I knew it, it was like 9:30ish or so, and he was sitting in between my legs, dick out. We were kissing, and I was jacking him off. It was so amazing, it all went so fast. Before I knew it though, he was actually CUMING. I know that he always said that no one has EVER made him cum, so I felt special. But I still dismiss it to the fact that, A) he’d been hard for like 24 hours, B) it’s not that hard to get a guy to cum, C) I just don’t get it.

I just can’t beleive that I’m the only person ever to make him cum….. Still in shock. And there’s no pressure on me either, considering that he’s always said “the person that makes me cum is going to be my husband.” Crazies.

After he came he galavanted off to the shower, leaving me with a raging hard-on. It went away quickly though since he wasn’t there to interest it. After Andrew got out of the shower he appoligised for not finishing. I was like “It’s alright.” It’s happened more then enough to me, so no big problem. Although last night after he left, I tried so HARD to jack it, but I just coulnd’t keep it up long enough. I think Andrew’s spoiled it.

We left for the mall after we had both eaten and showered. It was good times there. We stopped at some software store that sold video games. Andrew looked at them all and it’s so cute. He’s such a geek, so very very cute. Even though it’s not computer related, at least it’s something that’s closer to computers then Bonsai are. He’s someone that can understand that things take time to do. Playing games takes lots of time. As do learning and playing with computers. It’s just another thing that we have in common I guess. Even though it’s not an exact match, it’s pretty close.

From there back to my house were we dropped off Andrew’s car. Then we were going to go to his house to play video games, but his mom forbid us from coming over. Random tangent…. His house/mom are such show people. They have to have everthing perfect before anyone can see it. When you walk into his house, it looks as if you’re on a home tour of a new housing development and you’re seeing the show house. It’s nice because it seems as though some of that’s rubbed off on Andrew. Like his room is always clean, which is a nice thing. Because I’m like that as well, even though I grew up in a house that looks like a tornado went through (A tornado with dogs prints). Just another cute little things that I notices.

So since his mom forbid us, we went to VW for a while, just walking around. Didn’t go into hardly any stores. I wasn’t in the mood too. After a bit there, called his mom again and this time she said we could come over… “But only for a couple hours.” So we did… Got there and she WASN’T EVEN THERE! Crazy Sue! Went and played video games. Andrew kept kissing me and stuff and I was very pariniod. I was like “What if crazy catches us.” So scary. Anyways, I didn’t get any of the games so he let me play Mario. I LOVE THAT GAME!

Went to supper at Cheddars. I didn’t think I had ever been there before, but like half way through the meal I realized I had been there before. Such a great time, there was like a breeder couple at the table next to us. I wanted to show them up, but I’m too shy to do as such. lol.

Andrew paid… SO NICE OF HIM!. THANKS A TON DREW BEAR!!!

Went to B&N where we met Sheila. I also read Kevin’s book, and a found a book that had NOTHING but color swqatches in it. We were like.. WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY FOR THIS???

Sheila’s funny!

Back to PC, where we hot tubbed and made out. Fulfilled Drew’s fantasy of making out in a hot tub. We also talked about other ones. Including…

*Under the full moon

*Under the stars (No moon)

*On the golf course (Ok, we didn’t talk about this one, but it’s one of mine)

*Rocky out-cropping (Preferably in the Canyon)

*Sky-walks

*Pool

*Big open field

*Lots of others

After the hot tub, which was SO VERY FUN. WE went inside, kicked my bro off the TV and laid there in our towels and watched Sister Sister and The Proud Family. Funny ass shows. And so nice to just lay there on the couch with Andrew in my arms. ::deep breaths:: SO NICE! Eventually he had to leave, so we went upstairs and changed…. Got another shot of his cute little ass! Weeeeee! We stood there and hugged and kissed some… Eventually making it outside where I stood in my towel, Drew made fun of the hickie he left on my shoulder, and we hugged and kissed some more.

I totally didn’t want him to leave last night. I wish that there were more time we could spend together. I missed him so much today, and last night!

Didn’t you already tell your mother that story?

Sunday, April 20, 2003
1:24PM – “Didn’t you already tell your mother that story?” Private

“Mother? I’m talking to the Bloomingdales catalog lady!”
LOL fun times!

So this weekend has been fucking awesome!

Friday I asked mother if I could stay at CHris’ and she reluctantly said yes. So after work, I stopped at Hy-Vee for pictures and then hightailed it up to Ames! I got there a little before 8 and Chris was cooking dinner. Totally cute 🙂

So we had a pow wow on the floor and ate dinner, these taco/burrito/fajita things. VERY good, my compliments to the chef! hehe. Yeah, then we watched TV I think, I dunno I don’t really remember.
The point is: Sister, Sister was on. So we watched that and just talked and random shit. We kissed and whatnot, somehow we ended up in the bed, still kissing and being all cuddly. Eventually, we decided that the alcohol didn’t need to go to waste, so we drank some of it. We both had 2 wine coolers, which didn’t do a thing for me, except make my stomach just a *wee* bit queazy. After that, we ended up just going to bed….

Well, going INTO the bed, and making out for a while. Then we were kissing, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up the next morning. Very weird. We were even still above the covers. I got under the covers and Chris and I cuddled sme more, holding each other and what not 🙂 It was only 7:38… I don’t think Chris was too happy.

Ugh, and my stupid back was really fucking up. SO annoying.

So then we kept making out and stuff, and it was REALLY good. I’d like to know where Chris learned all his techniques, b/c he is really good. The boy can make me squirm! 🙂 It was totally awesome, but I did feel bad, b/c sometimes I felt like he was doing more (licking body parts, etc.) for me than I was for him. I’ll have to change that next time, I don’t want to be only a taker! I like to give too! So that kept up for several hours, and ended with me sitting in between his legs while we kissed and he jacked me off, b/c I DESPERATELY needed to cum. Well, at first I was skeptical, and all “Well, I’ll just take over when I’m ready and then I will cum.” Nope! Chris started licking me elbow while he was jacking me (Enfuego came out of the pants now b/c I didn’t want to cum all in my boxers b/c I only brought the pair I was wearing) So Chris was licking the elbow, and jacking me, and suddenly I was thinking “OH MY GOD. I Am gonna have an orgasm!!!!!!!” AND *drum roll*

I DID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I came without touching myself AT ALL. It was totally amazing, and a REALLY REALLY good cum. I seriously could not (and still can’t!) believe it. After all the guys that have tried and tried to make me cum, no one ever has, and now Chris finally did.

And I don’t mean it in a strictly sexual sense. It really said something to me that he could make me cum. It makes sense in my head….

Anyways after that I scampred off to the shower, completely delighted, and I neglected Hoodie. 🙁 I felt really bad, suddenly in the shower, I was like OMG I didn’t let Chris cum! And i Felt really bad. THen my belly button ring fell out. Because the top ball had somehow fallen out again. Whoops.
Anyways I apologized to Chris for the cum thing and he said it was ok. THen we made macaroni, ateit and Watched Golden Girls, I made some phone calls, and we left. We went to the mall at Ames, and stopped in the Software Store, where Chris reitertated that I’m a big geek/nerd/loser. From what I gather though, he thinks its cute. So its ok.

Then we came to DSM and I almost died on the way b/c it was raining pretty bad. I left my car at PC, and we were gonna go to my house, and hang out play video games and the such, but mother forbade us for coming over. So off to Valley West it was. We didn’t really do anything there, just randomness, walking around… we didn’t even really go into the stores. But we did pee! And that’s the important part.

We left and I called again and us coming over was Okayd. But only for a few hours. We get there and mother isn’t even home! SHe is TOO weird sometimes. So I showed Chris some more games, and I’m not sure how interested he was in them, but if he wasn’t he faked it well lol. We both played some, and then decided to go out to eat.

We went to Cheddars which was fun, Chris contending the whole time that he had NEVEr eaten therebefore, while for me, it’s practically my 3rd home. My 2nd being in Chris’ arms. 🙂

So we ate, I paid, we wanted dessert but we were too blargy.

Oh I forgot to mention it was “Ugly People day at the mall. I reallywish Chris and I would get the memo so we would know to avoid it.

THen we went to B&N and met up with Sheila and did random shit, Sheila telling us the woes of her life, it was funny. We left, and went to PC to go hot-tubbing, which I hadn’t done in so long!
We cuddled on Chris’ bed for awhile before we left and I would’ve been happy spending the rest of the night there. It’s SO wonderful to have him hold me 🙂

We did end upgonig hottubbing and that was fun too. Some kissing and stuff in there, and it was sweet (and tasted like chlorine! lol) We just talked and eventually got out and went inside b/c Sister, Sister and Proud Family was on. Chris was falling asleep during SS and I don’t blame him b/c I was uber tired as well. I fell asleep for a few seconds a few times during PF. I just wanted to stay and have Chris hold me all night again. But I had to leave 🙁 It was REALLY bad driving home, I was so fucking tired.

When we said goodbye, Chris came out in nothing but his towel. Such a cutie! We thanked each other for the wonderful weekend.

Yet another great time with Chris. I am so content just doing random shit with him…. and it’s still tons of fun. We had a really great weekend, and when I woke up this morning I was wishing that he could’ve been there to holdme and kiss me, and Iwas sad tht he wasn’t 🙁 And this week there is no Special Wednesday! Cause CHris has to work! Oh woe is me! So I most likely won’t see him till Friday which is obviously WAY too long.

I can’t believe he made me cum! lol I explained to him that I always said the guy who makes me cum would be my husband, he was like “yeah so no pressure” it was funny…

*Sigh* Such a good man. I can’t wait until he’s mine. So many good times still waiting to be had… it’s gonna be great.

Everytime I see him, I want him more and more and I fall more and more for him. Oh, it’s so fun to care about someone this much!!!!!! Thanks Chris for bringing up all these feelings in me, I love it and I love caring about you as much as I do!

I’m not even sure that made sense but eh! I’m off to play FF9!!!!!

BREAK! *Kiss*

Current mood: chipper

Oh My Topher

Oh my Topher. Or “Will soon be” my Topher. lol.
So I have had an absolutely fabulous day!
Both my parents were going to be gone Tuesday night so I told Chris that if he wanted, he was welcome to spend the night. He declined, claiming he had to go to school, and I contested that school wasn’t important, but that it was ok.
He called me Tues while I was at work, and asked if I still had that offer up. I sure did, so he headed on down.
That night, we went to the Dispute Part which was dumb as hell, but we managed to have a good time. Mainly by chanting “Where’s the pizza? Where’s the soda?”
Then we came home and got ready for bed. We slept in Jaime’s room b/c the bed is bigger. We layed down, and we spent a lot of time kissing, licking etc…. I now have hickies on BOTH my arms! lol. But BOY does he know what he is doing…. I was dying…. literally lol. It was wonderful.
Eventually I decided I needed to get to bed b/c I had school in the morning! So we were laying there, and he said something to the effect of “This is heaven.” Or something close to that and I Melted and it was really sweet. He held me all night, and I felt so close to him, and so calm, and so at peace with everything that is going on. When I get held, I just feel so safe and I feel that things will be ok after all! It was a really special feeling, and I am so glad that Chris brought it on.
Unfortunately, the morning came too quick.
We got up, after some more kissing, and I got ready for school, and he followed me around. lol.
OH yeah, he also mentioned during the night that he hasn’t missed one class this year (or semester, one of the two) and that this was the first one he missed, so I better feel special. Well, let me tell you, I really did.
Anyways, so he watched me get ready, then after more kissing, I left for school and he stayed at my house. School was too long.
I got home, and got changed, and we went to the Y to work out. That was fun, I was watching him use the machine while I was working my arms and he was just so adorable. I wish I would’ve videotaped it! Lol. So cute. THen I ran next to him and we were both really sweaty and gross.
So then we went home. He threw me in the closet and kissed me, then told me I smelled. 🙂
We both took showers, then went out to Subway so I could get my free lunch. While there, we ran into Court, Erin, Jenny Goodall, and Rachel LeValley and talked to tem for a few minutes. Then we came home and ate, me having my Subway and a piece of old pizza, and him eating a sandwich. Good times!
After that, we watched “Drift” which is officially the dumbest movie of all time. Very dumb, it had like 3 endings, so weird. So yeah Chris held me the whole time, and that felt wonderful yet again.
He said a lot of really sweet things to me… but since I have a terrible memory for those things, I have forgotten them. But I do know he said them, and I remember feeling very special and cared for on more than one occasion.
After the movie, we made out some more lol. He thought that me sitting on him and kinda grinding a bit was funny… I didn’t QUITE see the humor in it that he did.. maybe I missed something *shrugs*
After awhile, we decided we should actually do something, even though we agreed that doing that would be fun to continue with. But we ended up going to deposit my check (Waited forever in line!) and then we went to the mall, where I bought a belt, 2 shirts, and a pair of sandals for 30 bucks. Not a bad deal. We walked around and then went to Target and walked around, and then went home.
When home, we kissed some more, then finally I was forced to set up a game for Chris. He played FF8 for awhile, he definitely isn’t a natural, but its ok 🙂 Mother called at this point and was very obnoxious “Oh so Chris and you are alone? Not cool.” Yeah you are right Mom we had TONS of hot sex. Whatever… it kinda pissed me off.
Then we ate dinner, we had some pasta salad that Kelly made. After that downstairs, to just sit, and kiss and do sweet things until he left. He held me a lot, and we attempted to take lots of pics, though I’m not sure how many of them will actually come out b/c I think my arm kept getting in the way. It was really fun, we just talked about a lot of things, and that’s where the “Almost my Topher” thing came up. I atfirst said “Potentially almost my Topher” and he was like “I think you can drop the ‘potentially’.” So yeah that was a good sign 🙂 He told me I was sexy, yet another good sign.
We just had such a nice time. When he left, I really didn’t want him to, but I was afraid that John would come home and then things would be a bit weird. We took probably 10 or so minutes attempting to say goodbye. We just kept kissing and thanking each other for the wonderful day. That is when he said he couldn’t stop kissing me and I wholeheartedly agree. So tough to let go. Eventually we had to though, and he left.
Now I am sitting here, alone. I know I’m a big loser, b/c I miss Chris already. We have spent about 24 hours together, and now that he’s gone, I’m like “eh, what am I Supposed to do now?” I really just want his arms around me, I’m actually to the point of being sad that he isn’t here. God help me, I’m falling too fast for him.
I’m trying to hold myself back.
But I can’t help it……. oh why does my (almost) Topher have to be so grand?
Well, I don’t think I should ramble on any longer and scare him away, so I’m gonna email him this since he won’t get ittill like tomorrow anyway.
Oh yeah, he also kept saying I was a dork and a nerd for playing so much Final Fantasy! Well, it isn’t my fault that Squaresoft makes such great games!!! lol
Send me yours Topher!