Back In Iowa

Hmm.

Why’s it seem that all the people I WANT to date are in Iowa. 🙁

Jed’s there, I wouldn’t mind dating him. And even before dating him, I can see that it would work for a while. He might have some annoying habit, but we spent a lot of time together at camp, and well. He’s a great guy.

Justin’s there, I could date him. Though he’d have to stop drinking so much.

And lastly, Andrew’s there. My one true love.

Fuck this world… I think I need to see a mental guy..

I’m very depressed right now… And I really want to go see Andrew. I want to tell him not to go, because I want to be his friend again. But I just can’t. It won’t make any difference now.

If only he had stayed at ISU when I asked him to 2 years ago. If only.

Fuck my life. Nothing works out.

Fuck you

Well, I didn’t think my pissed offness at Andrew could increase any more now that he’s out of my life…

But, it did. Surprisingly…

He just announced that he’s moving back to Iowa this summer.

Goodbye bitch. Thanks for dragging me all the way out here for nothing.

Fuck you.

Nightmares

This weekend, I had probably like 20 nightmares… It was crazy! I can only rememeber two of them right now, but it was strange because in the morning when I got up for good, I remembered them all…

The two that I remember now though are… 1) that I was flying a 747, and had to land it on Highway 69 between Ames and Ankeny. 2) That I was in the military and people were attacking ISU and we had to save it…. Both very random and very scary… If I remember any of the others I’ll try and write about them again.

Ok, so about my weekend.. Friday was a really long day for me. Nothing worked on Friday morning and then they came in and moved our desks around.. I now have about 2 feet less desk space which is really annoying if you ask me. It’s like I’m an island out here in the middle of the office, all alone. 🙁 Though this morning there’s a new unopened Dell box at the end of my desk. I’m hoping it’s a laptop for me, which means I’ve been officially upgraded to an SA. ::crosses fingers:: I really hope that’s what it is… THough I REALLY don’t want to go to daytime hours. 🙁 hopefuly they’ll let me work 6-2 or something like that.

We have a new CIO or something like that, it’s a new position and he’s cracking down on the working hours… Alot of people used to come in at anytime between 8 and noon. Now he’s asking that everyone be here by 9, which I think sucks. I’d like to have the ability to come in anytime. And since we all work so late into the days sometimes… OK, most of the time. I think it’s only logical to start later if you’re planning on working later. But I guess we’ll have to see how it goes.

I do really like this guy.. He’s very nice and seems to be getting a lot of the little things taken care of, so that’s always exciting. Plus this way we have someone who’s totally focused on the technology part of the business, so that’s good. I’d eventually like to be CIO or something myself… If I don’t have a nice business of my own some day.

Ok, Friday night JonJon and I went out to a nice Thai resturant of rhis B-day. His food was really good, my food wasn’t that great, that is tell it had sat overnight and soaked up all the flavor. Then it was REALLY good. 🙂 Anyways, the lady was crazy nice and you got a HUGE serving for cheap, so we might have to go back there again…. After that we went to the hookah lounge right next door and that was fun. Which brings me to my newest business idea….

I figure it’ll take about $2,000 investment. However, I’d have to be in Iowa since they are already so big out here… That spot right next to JJ’s, the one that can never keep a business more then two weeks. (It’s had a high end clothing store, and then a disko/DJ store in there before, two things that DM DOES NOT need!) Anyways, I think it’d be pretty popular… Though you’d have to sell about 50 a month to cut even, and even more to make a profit. Though… I think it’d be a small profit that you’d make. However, you could also have little mini-lounges at places like the state fair, the malls, etc during the summer for a little extra money. But I don’t think it’s a viable business for the long run.

So after that we were going to go to Robs for a party but ended up going home.

Saturday… Got up and went grocery shopping and bought some girl scout cookies. JonJon came over after work and we made dinner then just hung around the apartment that night. It was actually really boring, I would have liked to have gone out, but I feel alseep at like 8:30. lol.

Sunday got up and went to Laurens and went through all her camping shit. That took tell nearly 5:30. also got some more wood, which we chopped and stuff. It was lots of fun… And that got me thinking about joining the boy scouts again… Blah!

Why can’t I just forget things that hurt and annoy me… LIke Boy Scouts… I know I can’t do it again, but yet I want too so badly!

Anyways, next topic, random change…..

I miss fucking… I miss like back in the day with Adam where we’d fuck, and then 20 minues later, we’d switch tops and fuck again. I miss being able to top/bottom whenever.. Gah. It really annoys me when people are all. “I’m a top only” Gah, get over yourself.

I got iLife ’05 downloaded and installed. That’s an excitment in and of itself!

Ok, well I’m going to go to work now. Night all.

Links Links Links!!

Ok, well this is going to be a post of a lot of links….

First, I love this TV show called. “Low Carb and Lovin’ It” And there’s this really cute boy on there, who I thought was gay. guess he’s not though, but anyways, I found his blog and it’s very amusing… I highly recommend listening to StellaStyle. He’s also has some really good photos.

Ok, and I know you all love PORN! So here’s a great website for you. Now, I’m sure I’ve all heard me complain about how you can’t RENT porn here in the OC… Well this site is just like netflix! How amusing. If I watched enough porn to justify it, I’d totaly sign up, but at least now I can rent porn for a weekend or two at a time when I want too.

Speaking of netflix… Here’s a better replacement for it… It costs about $2 more per month, but they send money back to local movie places.. IE: GreenCine is partnered with a few key organizations like the San Francisco Film Arts Foundation, the Academic Film Archive of North America, Consolidated Works and the San Francisco Silent Film Festival, all devoted to keeping independent, international and classic film alive. So yeah… I’m thinking I might sign up for them.

Ok, I’ve known about this place for a long while, but now I found the website and really want to go! Uncliamed Baggage! I want to take a road trip to the store sometime.

And lastely… Here’s some amusing Post Cards

Umm, so what’s been up in my life? Well as usually not too much.

I got an interview offer to a place up in Santa Ana… I called and told them I wasn’tinterested… It was some random job involving more business then I care for right now.

I also have a meeting set up at work with the new Business opps guy… We’re going to talk about some projects I’m going to be taking over. That could be exciting. Though he mentioned PHP, which I haven’t done anything with in a long while, so I’m kinda nervous about that.

I’ve started my diet again… It’s going ok.. I’m limiting my calories, and also going to start going to the gym more. I went monday, or was it tuesday… Either way, I’m sore as hell and can’t lift anything with any wieght.. It sucks ass. I guess I pushed myself too much. Going to go back tonight and just do the elyptical.

Going to retake my test tomorrow. Hopefully I can get those 5 points that I missed last time. Gah! I better.

There’s only two more episodes of GG this season. I’m so SAD that it’s ending.. I must make a trip up to LA sometime and do the whole WB tour…. Maybe May 30th, cause I’ve got the day off and Andrew should be out of school by then. That way we don’t have to miss anything.

I’m very excited about going back to Iowa this summer. I really hope that I get the chance too… Things that I want to do while back so far include:

Mitigwa (Maybe even go down to Wapello for an OA Ceremony)

State Fair

HuHot

Biagis

RedLight

Java Joes

Art Center

Adventurland

Blank Park Zoo

Porn Shop

The G&G’s house.

Chat Noir

Reiman Gardens

And of course Hot tubbing/swimming at the Parents!

Well, that’s about it for now. Night all.

Zetta Bytes

I got my Zetta Bytes back today…. I’m happy as hell about that….

Other things still aren’t going well at all… Going to go talk to Andrew tomorrow to see how things with us are going to work out. I’m a bit pissed at all his friends, who claimed they liked me… Clearly it was all a lie because they were damn fast in telling him how horrible I am. Fuck you all.

I wish I could move back to Iowa and continue to make what I do now… I could afford a nice 3 bedroom 2.5 bath house in Ames… I found one built in ’99 and it’s so cute, and on 2 acres.

I’ve decided that I hate people in general. I love my house in Iowa because of that… You are secluded enough that you don’t have to deal with people, yet close enough to everyone that it’s good… I don’t think I could live on a farm or anything though.

I really hope my PU’s don’t sell the house. I’d eventually like to buy it from them and live there.

Blah.

I want to take my SECUR test today, but Sean didn’t call me back yesterday, so who knows if I’ll get the chance too.

Speaking of, I talked to this cute guy on myspace today from South Carolina, he’s like way into Secure computing and shit too and he told me about this SANS conf in San Diego coming up.. I really want to go, but it’s $3,000! And my company deff won’t pay for that!

I think I’ll make a road trip back to Iowa in August to go the state fair and to get the rest of my shit…. Perhaps I’ll make appointments for interviews while I’m back. I think I’ll drag some people along too, I know for sure that JonJon wants to go, anyone else?

Laters all.

your palms are sweaty and I’m barely listening to last demands

i’m staring at the asphalt wondering what’s buried underneath where i am

you seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex

a stranger with a door key explaining that i am just visiting

and i am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving

the district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights

and send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening

and i am finally seeing why i was the one worth leaving