Tag: California

All Gone.

Well Ginny and Carl left this morning… I took them to the airport at 11:30.

It was a really good time having them come visit me though. So that’s good. Made me happy. 🙂

Yesterday was a great day. We went down to San Diego and went to La Jolla and Balboa Park.

It was tons of fun.

Called Austin on the way back to see if he still wanted to hang out. Of course he didn’t. Not a big surprise, but still annoying. So we just came back to my place, hot tubbed for an hour and then went shopping. I had a meeting from 7:45 till 8:30, so they shopped alone. Came back here and then watched Brokeback. Of course it was fun.

Other then that I haven’t relaly been up to anything.

Looks like I’ve got dates every night this week. So that’s exciting for me. Most of them are older men, IE 27, 28. So maybe they will be more sane then the rest of them.

I created a new myspace group called Gamping. It’s for LGBTA people who like camping in California. I’m hoping that maybe this can be a group where we all get together and camp like once a month. We’ll see how that goes.

I got my new phone today too, it’s charging. I’m so excited. 🙂

Adios yall!

Always a let down.

Why is it that things are always a let down for me… And never what I was expecting.

Grrr.

So Friday I got home from work and was just going to spend it alone and sit on my damn couch being pissed off at Austin and humanity and the world and just wishing I could not fucking care about it.

I watched Dorian Blues and talked to Angel… Talking to her REALLY makes me want to move back to Iowa.

But Austin called and asked if I wanted to go out to H Marys with him… Stupidly I said yes…. BAD FUCKING IDEA. So he wasn’t going to come over till 10:30, and I was just going to sit and watch TV and shit till then. But he ended up showing up at like 9:30. We sat and tried talking, but he was just giving me short one word answers and shit. So I just stopped talking.

Then he was like, “Lets watch this movie”, it was “Best In Show”. I said I didn’t want to start it because we would be leaving soon, but he said, “We can watch it and go whenever”

So then like 40 minutes into the movie he says to stop it and go to the club. I said that I wanted to finish the movie. So thenhe’s like, “Well I’m just going to go now then”. So I get pissed off at him for being such a jerk about things. So I tell him to just get the hell out, and I go and lock myself in the bed room.

Well everyone knows me, I can’t just let things go. I have to try and talk them all out. So I call him and we start talking and then talking leads to major yelling and It’s all very reminicent of Andrew.

Then there’s a knock on my door and it’s him and he just walks in and I try getting him to just talk to me, but he pushes me into the bed room and tells me to lay down. So I lay down and we talk for a bit with him just standing there. Then he gets in bed and starts trying to be all cuddly and shit. And he’s just like, “I’m just trying to change you to be more emotional and to show more excitement”. And blah blah blah. I dunno. Somehow it ended up with him spending the night! GOD, how did that fucking happen?!

So he spent the night and then in the morning we got up and I cooked him breakfast and then we went out shopping for a bed frame for me. Went to Levitz and then Ikea, and we had a really good time. Came home and he left and I sat around for the rest of the afternoon.

Went to Verizon to get a new phone cause they are having an amazing sale. Well I get there and am told that I have to sign up for help? WTF is that? Then I wait for 30 minutes to get someone to even talk to me. Then I’m told that they can’t do ANYTHING because I don’t have a California number. So I get pissed and just leave. Fucking Idiots. So I call the customer service and THEY tell me that they CAN help so I go back in and am told that I’ll have to wait in line AGAIN. So I said SCREW that and left.

Came home and sat around some more then Michael called me, and I went over there and watched Rent. He tried making out with me, but I’m just not into him like that. So I had to tell him to stop. Austin called in there and said he wanted to go out that night. I told him No that I was hanging out with Michael that night. But then Michael wouldn’t stop trying to make out with me, and I got annoyed, plus I wanted to try making up for Friday night. So I left as soon as the movie was over and called Austin… Suddenly he was TOO TIRED. YET ANOTHER LET DOWN. Fucking shit.. I just can’t stop torturing myself, huh? Guess what time he ended up going to bed…. Anyone? Oh! That’s right, 1am! Yep tooooo tired to do anything? Eh?!

God.

So I get up this morning and sit around my house. I went shopping to the Nursery and bought some new plants and some fertalizer for my Hibuscus. Hopefully they will be more happy now.

Came home and there was SHIT on TV. So i read some of my book.

Talked to Austin some more… There I go torturing myself again! I asked him if he wanted to hang out and watch the sunday night line up on Fox, like we’ve done before… Again, maybe to salvage just a little tiny bit of this weekend…

He said, “I dunno”… Which was fine, cause that was a like 1 or something.

So I sat around and watched Stripes which I’ve seen like a million times before. Such a horrible movie.

Anyways, Austin finially gets back to me about this and says that he’s going to go see Brokeback with the guy who was over on Friday when I went over there.

Ugh, very pissed off.. A) Because I’ve asked Austin to go see Brokeback with me like 5 or 6 times, and every time he says he thinks it looks stupid and he doesn’t want to go see it. B) I’m pissed because I wanted to fucking hang out with him.

So now we’ve been fighting for 2 hours now. And he just said:

4:13:25 PM austin: sorry i ruined your life

4:13:55 PM blackc2004: you’ve been nothing but an emotional roller coaster for me austin.

4:14:12 PM austin: well sory

4:14:18 PM austin: i’m fucked up and overdramatic

4:14:29 PM blackc2004: I’d agree with that

4:14:45 PM austin: well then i think we’re done here.

4:14:50 PM austin: Goodbye chris

4:14:55 PM blackc2004: done here with what?

4:15:29 PM blackc2004: ……

4:15:42 PM austin: this aweful emotional rollercoaster for u

4:15:44 PM austin: i’m going

4:15:44 PM austin: bye

Now he won’t fucking answer me or his phone.

God damnit… Why can’t I just drop his ass and move on. I know it’s the best thing I should do right now.

I’m going to start applying for jobs out of state again.

Ugh, I forgot to mention ANOTHER let down… On Friday everyone from the SA Team went out drinking together.. No one invited me. I heard them talking about changing the place where they were going to hold it as I was leaving work. That makes me feel really bad.

Long Beach

So yesterday was pretty good.

OG, asked me a simple question about mysql performance tuning and then I spent the rest of the day researching that stuff. Finially made some changes late last night to hopefully speed things up.

Our MySQL box in the 148 days that it was up and runinng served over 69 million requests. Which REALLY isn’t that many, but considering the type of box it’s running on, that’s a lot

Anyways, Austin picked me up from the office about 1:30 and we went up to Fry’s. I’ve never been there before, and OMG is that place HUGE! From there we drove up to Long Beach where he had an interview. I sat in Borders for the hour that it took and read a book.

I ended up buying it too, it’s called California Camping. It lists over 1,500 camp sites. This guy has PERSONALLY gone and camped at them all and he gives a short preview of them and a rating. So it seems really nice.

Camping this weekend, maybe?

So after the interview, Austin said it went really well. But there’s a posibility of him having to move to San Diego.

We drove around Long Beach for a while looking at things and talking. The area we were in is REALLY nice. Found a Sushi place and ate there. It was 50% off! Yay! We got Squid, Salmon, Tuna, Scallops and a California Roll. They were all pretty good. I’ve decided that I HATE the sea-weed they put around the rolls though.

From there we took PCH back down to Newport, which was a really pretty drive because the sun was going down. He told me that I need to act more excited and that I don’t show my emotions enough. It’s true.. Ever since Andrew, I haven’t.

We picked up my car and drove back to my area and went to BestBuy/CompUSA. He’s in the search for a keyboard. On the way there, this jackass cut me off, so I honked at him. Then he flipped ME off and then SLAMMED on his brakes trying to make me rear end him.

I don’t fucking GET people. When you fucking do something WRONG you have NO RIGHT to fucking do that shit. Jackasses.

After shopping we broke and I went home. Sat on the computer for a while and did that work stuff and then went to bed and read for a while.

Adios y’all!

Happiest Place On Earth!

Ok, even though I was single on Valentines day this year, I have to say that it was probably THE BEST valentines day ever! And probably one of the best days I’ve had since I moved to California.

So I came into work and worked for 4 hours and then headed out to Disney with Austin. We get there and go to Denny’s for brunch and have a good chat about random things. Then we head off to the real park.

Get in there to California Adventure and walk around. The first thing we did was Muppets 3D, which was kinda retarted, but still mildly amusing. It was expected.

They played the 1812 during that though which got me thinking about the band “Bond” and thier version of it. So we started talking about it and Austin really likes that band too, which is kinda random because they are such an odd band. It as just cool and random.

From there we walked around a little more and did the Monsters Inc ride, which was COMPLETELY retarted and the damn thing broke like half way through our ride! So we had to sit there and wait for them to come escort us out of the thing. It was so random.

After that we went and did our first rollercoaster, which really wasn’t all that bad. It was the Tower of Terror, which I’ve been on once before down in Florida. So I knew what was going on. From there it was off to California Screamin’. That was a good one. We went upside down. 🙂

As we were leaving we went found this thing called Soarin’ California which Austin had heard was “bad”.. As in good. So we went on it. It was really pretty cool. Basically a quick fly by of California things to do. I really want to go do some of those things! IE, the Hot Air Ballon rides over the Napa Valley, etc. JonJon and I always talked about going up there and doing a long weekend at a bed and breakfast and doing that. But I never really wanted to do it with him. I’d want to go with someone I actually gave a shit about. lol

So after that ride we left California adventure and went over to the real Disney park. (We got same day park hopper tickets, which I highly suggest!)

Ok, the rest of this is in no particular order, because we walked all over the park and around and around and it was crazy, but tons of fun!

But we did the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which wasn’t all that exciting, but it was still cool and relaxing. Plus we cuddled in the front of the boat in front of all the straight couples. It was funny.

– Big Thunder Railroad, which was crazy. It wasn’t the most exciting of all the rides, but it was still cool.

– Splash Mountian we did after dark, which was a BAD BAD idea. First because we got SOAKED and it was SOOOO COLD! Second because we came over the top of the 50 foot drop and you couldn’t see the bottom, so you had NO IDEA where you were going, it was so scary. Third because we sat in the VERY FRONT of the boat. I’d have to say that was one of the best rides the whole day.. Thrill Wise.

– Indiana Jones, which was pretty cool. Again we sat in the front, and it was pretty good.

– Tea Cups. Standard issue, but still fun and cute way to end the night

– Space Mountian whichw as CRAZY because it was completely dark and you had NO IDEA where you were going!

– Star Tours. A fun ride for being so old, it could have been way better

We counted them up on the way home and we did 12 rides, but I’m only listing 9 or 10, so I dunno where the others are. But we also did the train ride all the way around the park, It was after dark and we cudddled on the train. Again, very cute.

It was also cute because the on all the rides he would hold my hand and stuff. It was adorable.

So overall, we were at Disney from noon till 8pm. Drove back to my place and he came in and spent the night. We had a talk about his high partner numbers… Come to find out there was a bit of a mis-understanding, he has had 50 partners, but most of those people he’s just done like Mutual J/O with. He’s only had 8 actual sex partners, which isn’t that bad. And he said that the VAST majority of them have NOT been one-nighters, which makes me happier about the whole situation, but still not thrilled about it.

Our discussion did get a bit heated though because I feel that SEX is something that should be shared between two people who LOVE each other, and you should be comfortable and MEANINGFUL of telling someone you LOVE them before you have sex with them, whereas he views it as more of a “fun” activity. I just dunno what to think.

But, he did actually kiss me on the lips a few times, which is again just confusing. He says that he just doesn’t feel ready for a boyfriend, mentally and emotionally, because of the whole job thing, and he needs someone more dominating, so that’s cool. But I just want to keep pushing him and make him do it. He said at one point that we’re practically like boyfriends, he said like, “psydo-boyfriends” or something like that.

Arg, like Vero said, it seems like he’s jerking me around a lot. I’m not sure if he’s just not sure what he wants, or if he’s doing it on purpose. Grr! Why are these things so hard.

Adios!

EDIT:// I forgot to mention that on the drive home, Austin put on this Playlist on his iPod, it sounded a bit lovey dovey too… I think he planned it. He held my hand and it was so cute all the way home.

And when we were first laying in bed, he kept saying…. “Chris… Chris… Chris… What am I going to do with you”… Etc, etc. What’s going down!