I need motivation!

I’m very un-motivated right now. I want to just sit in my apartment all the time and do nothing. Watch TV, mindless TV and do absolutely nothing. I’m getting so fed up with our governmental system and coming into work every day and not learning anything and usually not having anything to do. I’m fed up with stupid people who IM me and all they want is sex. I’m fed up with not being able to get funding for my startup. And I’m fed up with not being able to go to Java Joe’s/etc. Blah.

I want to just sit in my apartment and give up, give up on trying to change anything, because it doesn’t seem to be working.

I’m really annoyed by the fact that I’m always ignored at work. I ask for information and I rarely get it. I get things assigned to me with no explanation of what it is, or what I need to do with it. I get things assigned to me that I have no idea how to do, and when I ask for instructions on how to do it, the project gets taken away from me. It’s not my fault that I’m not here during the day when it would be easier for you to explain it. So why is it so hard for you to shoot me an e-mail with some basic instructions. I don’t need every step of every thing laid out. I just need some good clear basic steps to get things done. I’m a fairly smart person, or at least I think I am and can usually figure things out.

I’m also annoyed with our fucking goverenment. Apparently there was a nice little bill slipped in on some major budget bill which says that now EVERY school which recieves federal money, including colleges, etc. HAVE to spend the entire day of Sept 17th teaching about the constitution! Now, yes everyone SHOULD learn about it… But making it a federal LAW. That’s insane. Congress SHOULD NOT be able to tell schools when or WHAT they teach. This is obsurd! We really need a good presedent/congress to go in there and cut out all this bullshit legislation that’s been passed in the last 60 or so years.

I also really want to get some funding for my startup ideas. I know they’d be very profitable here in So Cal… But trying to find $600,000 is harder then one would think. There’s this one company that will find you money, but you have to pay them… I’m thiking about doing it. I mean it’s only $1,000. Whatever…. It’d be nice though to get that started before someone else has the idea.

Andrew and I have been talking nightly again. And it’s so good. I really missed that.

Night all.

NAS — Decided.

I decided to go with the Buffalo TerraStation It’s $929 at one place, and you get 750Gig’s of usuable RAID5 space (1 Terrabyte with striping). And it’s hardware RAID. THe only thing I don’t like about it is that you have to take the damn thing all the way apart to change a drive. I wish it had a module loader like most. But that’s what you get when you don’t have a budget for an Enterprise solution.

The thing I really like is that you can add up to 4 more drives via USB2. And from my understanding they can be used as part of the RAID!

Now I’m going to update my desktop with LInux and reformat the drives. I still need to buy a new tuner card with more onboard encoding capacity, and a better graphics card to output to my HDTV. Then I can finially have my PVR that I want. I was thinking about maybe installing the Windows Media CEnter version (we have a copy here at work that I could use) just to see how it works. I think it’d be fun. 🙂 But MythTV is the way to go.

I really can’t wait to do all this, but I feel SO BAD about dropping all this money on technology. Gah, why must I be such a tightwad.

Hung out with Andrew again tonight. It was lots of fun. Just like old times. We went to Target, and watched Golden Girls and had a jolly old time. Though I guess lots of people are talking bad about my hanging out with him again… Oh well… They are right to think bad about me.

Next weekend is also a three day weekend for me. I want to go on a trip somewhere, but I just don’t know where. Nor do I know who I’d go with. 🙁 Anyone up for a road trip?

Later.

Here in Houston

Well here we are in Houston. This morning has been really long already and I have a feeling that the rest of the day is going to be very long too.

Last night I was up tell 11 or so packing, and then finally got to bed. I spent the night tossing and turning and just thinking about the trip down here and stuff. Got up about 4am this morning and got ready then drove to the airport.

Once we got here is when things started to get annoying. I was there at 5am, and we found out that the ticket counter didn’t even fucking open tell 6am. We all sat around doing nothing for the hour, then finally got to check in.

The security line was really long, but there was a group of about 4 really hot boys in front of us. I have a feeling two of them were gay, either that or VERY metrosexual. I can’t wait tell that goes out of style again. Then we’ll be able to tell family better. Anyways, once we got to the gates those 4 went and got drinks, ie, good drinks. They were flying United though, so that was sad.

We all sat around there sitting and waiting to board. That was boring! Ha!

Finally got on the flight and the ride was pretty good. Like I said I had 2A so I was right there, and there weren’t any seats next to me, cause the galley was there. It was a major plus. Everyone else was at the back of the plane.

I spent the whole ride listening to RENT! Which I’m in love with and really want to see it again. I’m sad that I’ll be gone during the time it’s in DSM.

Umm, there are a LOT of hot boys here in the airport because of spring break!

On the ride here I also thought a lot about Andrew’s proposition that I move there in June. I don’t think it’s been any discussion about it on either of our websites, so here it is. He wants me to move there in June and live with him in the dorms. Now the plusses to this would be that I’m in the area earlier and thus can spend more time looking for jobs and getting a good apartment, instead of having to do it all long distance. Also I’d get free room for the summer, well I’d still have to pay for my apartment in Ames.

The downside is that it’s very risky. Mostly because I know that if I stay in Ames for the summer, I’ll have a job and a chance to build up some cash. However, if I go there, there’s no guarantee that I’d be able to make any money, or even get a part time job very quickly.

Well the point is that on the flight down here I think the positives our weigh the negatives, and it’s worth the risk. We’ll have to see. I’m really wanting to do it now, but I have to think more about the feasibility and stuff.

I was thinking about the moving to and if I did that, I can pack all the stuff up that I don’t need before leaving, and then use my apartment as a storage place and then have it all professionally moved when it comes time. Which by the way I got an estimate of about $1,100 the other day. Which is FAR less then going with budget.

Well anyways I have to pee and I’m hungry, so…

Laters all

He Needs to Be GONE!

President Bush condemned the Massachusetts court ruling on gay marriage on Wednesday, and conservative groups said the White House had informed them that the president would soon endorse efforts to pass an amendment to the United States Constitution defining
marriage to be between a man and a woman.

Mr. Bush, in a statement issued by the White House on Wednesday night, stopped just short of explicitly backing a change to the Constitution, but left little doubt that he is heading in that direction.

The ruling by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court “is deeply troubling,” Mr. Bush said.

“Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman,” he said. “If activist judges insist on re-defining marriage by court order, the only alternative will be the constitutional process. We must do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage.”

Conservative activists who have been in touch with the White House on the issue said they now had no doubt that Mr. Bush had made up his mind to back their call for a constitutional amendment.

“After conversations in recent days with the appropriate people, I have absolutely no doubt the president will in fact take this step in order to ensure that marriage in the United States remains between a man and a woman,” said Gary Bauer, the conservative activist who was a Republican presidential candidate in 2000.

Mr. Bauer, who spent the last two days in meetings with conservative groups to develop a strategy for pushing an amendment, said he expected Mr. Bush to make an announcement “sooner rather than later.”

Glenn T. Stanton, a policy analyst for the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, said its founder, Dr. James C. Dobson, heard in a conversation on Tuesday night with the president’s senior adviser, Karl Rove, that Mr. Bush had decided to back an amendment.

“We heard last night that President Bush is going to come out very clearly advocating the passage of a federal marriage amendment and he is looking for the opportunity to do that,” Mr. Stanton said on Wednesday. “It is not a question of if but when.”

As the issue has raced through the courts in Massachusetts and other states – and risen to the top of the agenda of conservative groups, thereby becoming a more pressing political issue for him – Mr. Bush has moved step by step since last summer toward supporting a federal constitutional amendment.

White House officials would not confirm that Mr. Bush had made up his mind, but they said they would not discourage
reporters from drawing the conclusion that the Massachusetts ruling was exactly what Mr. Bush was thinking of when he warned in his State of the Union address last month about judges ignoring the will of the people on the issue.

“If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process,” Mr. Bush said in the State of the Union speech.

Mr. Bush has tried since becoming governor of Texas to position himself as a new kind of conservative who can appeal to the political center. His statements on gay marriage have always been carefully respectful of gay men and women, and his reluctance to throw his weight behind an amendment reflected in part a desire not to alienate moderate voters.

Many social conservatives, though, have been impatient with the president on the issue, pressing him to take a stand. Mr. Bush’s conservative base is especially important to him in this election year because his political strategists say that his re-election could hinge much more on his ability to turn out the vote among conservative voters than on winning over a diminishing pool of more moderate swing voters.

There have been signs of restlessness among conservatives over Mr. Bush’s willingness in the past few years to support or agree to substantial increases in government spending. The White House is trying to head off that discontent, and the budget Mr. Bush sent to Congress on Monday calls for sharp restraint on federal spending.

But while economic conservatives and the groups that represent them in Washington tend to make their case loudly and forcefully, White House officials have always been more concerned about religious and social conservatives at the grass-roots level. Mr. Rove has fretted publicly on a number of occasions about Mr. Bush’s failure to motivate more evangelical Christians to vote in the 2000 election, saying millions of them stayed home that year.

With the Massachusetts ruling, some conservative leaders said, Mr. Bush and other politicians have little choice politically but to get behind an amendment.

“As of today, there is no gray area at all, no area behind which they can hide,” said Sandra Rios, president of Concerned Women for America, a conservative group.

The constitutional amendment most likely to win the backing of Mr. Bush and conservative groups is one that has already been introduced in Congress. The House version, sponsored by Representative Marilyn Musgrave, Republican of Colorado, states: “Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution or the Constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon
unmarried couples or groups.”

—–

And I don’t think that Kerry is for the job either:
Boston Globe:
“I oppose gay marriage and disagree with the Massachusetts Court’s decision.”

Great… We’re all dead.

But really what’s the likelyhood of a national amendment to the constitution? I mean really what’s the chances of three forths of the states ratifying an amendment of such. I could see that if there were already more then 3/4 of the states that had something like this. But there aren’t. So I doubt any such things will really pass. But it’s still sad to read about.

Laters all.

The Meaning Of NON-REFUNDABLE!

So last night ended up being a VERY VERY annoying night.

I got home, and ate supper. Talked to Andrew for just a short bit, and listened to some 80’s music…

When all of a sudden, my interenet STOPPED working. I was so annoyed. But I figured it wouldn’t be long, usually it doesn’t take that long for it to come back up. So I sat there in front of my computer, waiting, and hitting “Login” on AIM like a million times. Finally I got really annoyed with it and was on my way to call Andrew when my phone rang.

It was him, so I answered it and he said “Sorry to call you, but I couldn’t wait any longer to tell you what’s happening…”

At that point I was scared…. I thought maybe something bad had happened… Well Something bad DID happen, but I thought something REALLY bad had happened.

Then he goes, “Dustin called me”

And I’m like, Great… I know EXACTLY where this is going.

So Dustin ditched us on our trip.. The WEEK OF the trip he calls and tells us that he can’t go.

This is all AFTER we confirmed with him the DATES and the PRICE of the hotel, and AFTER we booked a NON-REFUNDABLE hotel room.

Now, in case you can’t tell my all of my CAPITAL LETTERS I’ve VERY VERY annoyed by this. You don’t fucking do that to people, if you don’t have the money, then FIND some some where.

It’s not like he DIDN’T know that we were going on the TRIP, or that he KNEW how much he was making, or that he KNEW how much he was SPENDING.

With 4 people going this would have been a VERY CHEAP trip, about $40-$50 each for TWO nights in a MARRIOT hotel, food and GAS!

Now ANDREW and I are going to have to PAY for it all, that means about $80 EACH! Which only leaves us with about $20 to spend, based on what WE HAD BOTH BUDGETED, YES budgeted, for the trip…. Beacuse apparently we know how to handle money, and plan ahead and BUDGET money.

So in short, if you want to go to KC this weekend, and can leave FRIDAY afternoon and return SUNDAY afternoon and can afford $40-$50, PLEASE CALL ME!

And that’s my LIFE!