Dec 8, 2000

Dec 8, some time after dark. ahhhhhh, it’s been a good day so

far. went and took a test in CSC 105, that was easy, then my partner and i

got that project done, and then i came back here and wondered round for a

bit doing general stuff. then i went to a meeting with one of my teachers,

that went pretty well we went over my speeches and why i got such a low grade

on the last one, i still don’t understand why, but o well. he seems to justify

it. I’m talking to danny right now, well not RIGHT now, he had to brb for

a while he said so i’m just waiting for him to come back, i’m starting to

worry though, this is the secnod fri in a row he hasn’t gone out. very odd

for him i do beleive. o well i love him, i’m glad he’s here to talk to. o

yeah speaking of talking to people, i talked to BJ today, he’s this really

cute guy from camp that i had a crush on. it was nice to talk to him, even

though we just talked bout computer problems and stuff, but o well, he said

“talk to ya tommow” though so hey, you never know. but yeah, i think

that’s all that’s going on round here. i gotta get math done this weekend

though, that’s not a good subject for me at the moment. not good at all. well

off to do something now.

Dec 7, 2000

Dec 7 8:04 Pm, well it’s been a long day, kinda. we had math

bright and early this morning, god i hate that class. ARG. but yeah, some

good news did come out of the situation, he’s not going to grade the assingments

now. that’s good. i guess. but yeah and then we had programing that was damn

boring, i’m trying to get all the US-QaF songs, but can only find about 6

of them on Napster, damn them i want them ALL. now. o well. yeah i talked

to danny today, i don’t know what’s up we were talking about stuff and then

i asked him what he had done last night cause i didn’t get to talk to him

and he said he just went to sleep and then he said, “Why did you want

to come over last nigh” and i was like, that would have been nice, i

didn’t sleep well last night. and then he said “we could have kept each

other company, cause i was cold” and then i said “awwwwwwww, yeah

i heard it was cold out there yesterday, you should come out here, it was

warm today” and then he left. i figured he just got kicked off cause

it happens, but he didn’t come back it’s now 34 minutes since he logged off

and still no sign of him, do you think i did somethng wrong? i don’t know,

but danny if you read this, i want to tellyou that i don’t want to get really

close again, not yet, not this soon, he really hurt me after that thing that

happened a while back. i do LOVE him i really do and i can’t stop thinking

about him, sometimes i’m like a little school girl with a crush, i really

do love him. maybe in a while we can get really close like we were, but i

still don’t have a pic of him, don’t know his phone number, he now has a pic

of me, a live shot of me, and two phone numbers to contact me at. I love him,

i really do, but i don’t want to get as close as we were not yet, maybe in

a while, i would love to go meet him some time. i really would, i hope we

both get into cali schools. that would be the first thing i do when i get

out there, go see him. i love him so much. i really do, but o well. well i’m

going to stop now i have to get back to stuff, i don’t know what yet, but

stuff yeah.

Dec 6, 2000

Dec 6. the 6th, tomorrow is my dad’s b-day. i sposse i better

call him tomorrow. yeah. i’ll try to remember. well i’m sitting here working

on this speech and yeah, i know where i’m going with it but i ust have way

to much information for it then what he want’s and i don’t know where to cut

stuf out of it. it’s all so good and it all supports my claims so well but

i just don’t know what to cut or how to really start it all. it’s a really

sensitive topic and stuff and yeah. well i don’t know i have that math test

tonight i ahven’t studied for it yet. i got a couple new sons by Amber, they

are pretty good. o hey, hehe, i was bored last night and i went to find out

what the wonderful horoscopes said about me and danny, heres what they say:When

Aries and Aquarius come together, the combination of Aquarius vision and Aries

action tends to make them a highly creative pair. Their partnership is anything

but static, and while it can be competitive, it’s never boring! This pair

can be great friends; their Signs are two apart and this tends to make them

compatible and able to communicate well. Both of them are idealistic and enthusiastic

about life, and together they enjoy new and outlandish experiences. Both are

attracted to anything new, and they love thrills; they may even take turns

playing the show-off! Many Aries-Aquarius relationships enjoy a feeling of

mutual admiration. Aries admires the uniqueness, vision and inventiveness

that are characteristic of Aquarius. In turn, Aquarius admires the Aries energy

and initiative — Aquarians always have new ideas, but they don’t always have

the drive to carry them out the way Aries does. Both Signs enjoy their independence,

but conflicts can arise if Aries seems too possessive or Aquarius seems too

aloof or detached. Both partners need to learn that they view the world in

different ways. Aries can be too involved for Aquarius’ taste, and Aquarius

in turn may be too unpredictable for their Aries partner. As long as both

partners reassure each other that the relationship is important, things will

be just fine! Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Aquarius is ruled by the

Planet Saturn, as well as Uranus. These three Planets form a sort of cycle

that is indicative of the Aries-Aquarius relationship and their ability to

come together to create new institutions. Uranus is the Planet of new ideas

and creativity; it’s from this Planet that Aquarius gets its great vision.

Then, Mars puts these ideas into practice and initiates action. Finally, Saturn

keeps the process going to completion, following up after Uranus’ inspiration is exhausted and Mars’ energy moves on to new things. Aries is a Fire Sign

and Aquarius is an Air Sign. Air fuels Fire and keeps it going; Aquarius can

keep up with the action and energy of Aries and the Ram’s tendency to start

initiating new projects based on Aquarius’ ideas. When they work together

as a team, there are no limits to the possibilities! Aquarius is able to use intellect to inspire Aries’ action-oriented lifestyle and feed them new ideas

to put into practice — Aquarius is very intellectually stimulating to Aries.

Both Signs have wide-ranging interests, and Aries’ desire to physically participate

gives them great joy in implementing the ideas of the more mentally active

Aquarius. Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Aquarius is a Fixed Sign. Aries gives

Aquarius the confidence to charge ahead and take action, rather than just

sitting in the laboratory concocting new ideas. Aquarius can help Aries stabilize

and complete projects rather than jumping into new plans without completing

the old ones. They both respect and admire each other, and when they can understand

that no one has to be in charge, they can accomplish a lot together. The best

aspect of the Aries-Aquarius relationship is their ability to achieve a great

deal when they work together. Cardinal Fire and Fixed Air cover all the bases:

these partners can come up with an idea, plan how to implement it, get it

going and stick with it to make it succeed. This formula for success makes theirs a relationship of vision, as well as practice. but yeah, sounds

good to me. hehe. o yeah doug sent me this pic a while back and all he’ll

tell me is that it’s someone from UD and they go by josh, well danny goes

by josh everyonce in a while. so i’m going to ask d about it tonight. hehe,

yeah. well i’m going to get back to this paper. i might update again later

today. Ok well it’s now 6:39. I’m getting ready to leave for the math test.

damn it. i haven’t studied i started to but i didn’t know how to do any of

it so i just gave up, i’m glad i don’t have to take much math, lol. well i’m

going to leave for the test now talk later. ok so i’m back, STUPID MOTHER

FUKCING TEST. first it was a hard ass test, second he took 30 minutes just

to hand the damn thing out and explain that we couldn’t open it tell he told

us to and Third AND THE BIGGEST REASON I’M PISSED IS BECAUSE IT MADE ME MISS

DANNY. FUCK. i really needed to talk to him tonight about stuff. fuck fuck

fuck fuck fuck. bastard. ok i’ll stop, but as you can see i really wanted

to talk to him tonight. but yeah the test was a fucking pain, they were easy

questions mostly but some of them were just really fucked up and some of them

weren’t even over stuff that we had gone over in class and then there were fuking typos on the damn thing shit. mother of god, shit. ok i’l stop no,

my fingers are starting to cramp up cause of all this HARD typeing.

Dec 5, 2000

it’s dec 5 a little after 6:00. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

end of semester, driving me NUTS. it’s tues. yeah, tues. usually a good day,

cause i have all easy classes, YEAH RIGHT, not today. well it started off

in matt class stupid mother fucking professor. the bastard. well he spent

the first 30 minuts of class lecutring us on how we are like 10 sections behind

for the final and how the final is on such and such day and how they are going

to split the classes up cause we are to big to fit everyone in the one auduatorium

that is in the SC. LIKE WE FUCKING CARE, THEY WILL TELL US WHEN WE GET THERE.

so yeah, the fucker wasted 30 minutes telling us about shit that we didn’t need to know. and then we were supposed to get through four sections today,

and we’ve got a test tomorrow at 7PM, can you believe that 7PM, fuck you.

but yeah, we were supposed to get though four sections today, we didn’t even

get through one, so you know what he did? he gave us 78 problems over the

four sections that we DIDN’T FUCKING GET TO. and they are due on Thurs. FUCK,

78 problems you know how much fucking HW i have in other classes to fucking

get done. god damn it. and then we have a test tomorrow for that class that

we have to go to and study for, MAN that guy is a fucking retart, he shows

up for class late, he never knows what he’s taling about, he put problems

on the board that even he doesn’t know how to solve, he’s never prepared.

he DOESN’T KNOW SHIT. he spend most of his day in the TC playing pool. AND

WE PAY HIM FOR THAT? I THINK NOT. he should be fucking preparing for the next

god damn class. well enough about math now on to BASIC. i hate that class.

it’s sooooooo fucking easy, but today, ARG. we are in these damn group projects

you know, ok. well i got stuck in a fucking group of people that have NO IDEA

what they are doing, so today we were doing the coding for this HUGE ass project

and today i was like well i’m not going to code, cause i’ve been doing all

of it. so i made this other guy sit there and code, well he has no fucking

clue what he was doing, so i just say there an dictated everything to him.

ARG. ok on a happy note. i talked to danny today, infact just got done talking

to him. i saked him if he would seriously consider meeting in person and he

siad he would then i put the hypothetical question to him, “what if i

said i was free from dec 26-jan11…” and he was like, “well i’m

going to be spending time with me family,” (i should have told him it

was hypothetical), “but ifi had my own place…..” and then we both

said we loved each other, it was the first time since that little problem.

i hadn’t realized it but i guess it was. how nice. i really do love him. he’s

sweet. o yeah, my mom called me last night at like 10 or so and i was like

damn it shouldn’t you be in bed. and i was all spacey cause i was busy else

where, i think she thinks there’s something wrong with me now. but o well.

but yeah she called cause she want’s be to go to philmont again next year,

i really don’t want to go. but yeah, and they also want me to help out at

summer camp for the troop. i don’t know how that will work out. i think my

PU’s are the only one’s stupid enough not to put the right ear/left ear thing

into play. but yeah i told her i was like, i really don’t want to go to philmont

again, and she was like well maybe you can take a training course, an unfortunally

she found one that would work for me, damn it. so now i don’t know how i’m

goint to get out of it. fuck. but yeah i really need a paying job for this

summer, i’m going to see about maybe trilogy systems i have to talk to greg

sometime, or maybe i can get an internship with allied or something i don’t

know, i would really LOVE to work at camp again, but that would require i

take the ear ring out cause people there will put one and one together and

figure it out. but yeah, i would really love doing that, i’ve been thinking

alot lately about where i’m going in my life and i’ve been thinking about

changing to a teaching major, it would be like computer science teaching stuff

like that, but i don’t think i could handle the private industry of computers,

and i really don’t want to go into anything else that i can think of, and

i love kids. and that’s something else i have been thinking alot about lately,

kids. you know when i come out to my G&G they are going to be like “WHAT

NO GREAT GRANDCHILDREN” and i’ll never fucking hear the end of that;

so i’ve been thinking about weather i would want to adopt when i find the

right man to spend my life with, and i think maybe i have found him. but i

really think i would want to adopt. i love kids and this last summer at camp

has really made me realize that. and i really wish that i would be able to

go back there and work again, but unfortuanaly the people in out council are

realky uptight about this whole gay thing, the bastards. BOFH is cool. so

i’ll go back to work now i have like three papers to write and then all that

damn math to do. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Dec 4, 2000

well it’s dec 4 about 4:30 or so. today’s been pretty good, i finally got

around to answering my aunts e-mail. i just said some short things here and

there, kinda explainging where i thought i was going with stuff. all that,

and i got a reply back from here. pretty good as far as things go there. I’ll

have to reply to her yet again. it’s getting kinda annoying (takes to much thought), but o well, hehe. danny says that QaF was really good, i so want

it now. DAMN IT why do i have to live in the middle of now where, where we

don’t get showtime. fuck it. other then that today’s been pretty uneventfull.

my classes sucked today, i so could have skipped my first class, and slept

some more, i need some more sleep, hehe. and then in speech he just babbled

yet again. it’s really starting to get old. YEAH, classes will be over soon.

so that’s good. yeah, all’s good. life still sucks, but all’s good. I’m going

to go finish my paper now, so bubye.