Well Just got back from the OC Fair… If you can really call it a FAIR. Took me two hours.
The Iowa state fair you could spend ALL DAY there and still not see it all!
And they didn’t have Lamb Burgers or Buffalo Burgers! What a rip off!
I can’t wait to get to a REAL fair back home in Iowa!
Woot woot… Pics later. I’m hitting the pool now
Adios!
Man… I had some REALLY fucked up dreams last night… I can only remember one of them. I was back in Alleman and was skydiving off the top of the TV towers there (If I remember right the new one is close to 5,000 feet tall?), Anyways the other one was really scary too and involved something about being chased in a car. lol.
I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep last night and now I’m at the office. I’m getting a 15″ powerbook today and selling me 12″. So I had to come in and get some parts that I left here, and I think it’s just best to meet the guy here to sell my powerbook. We’ll see.
The new one is a 15″ with a 1.33Ghz and 60Gig HD. I’m going to buy two new 512 Sticks for it so it’ll have 1.25Gigs RAM. 🙂 I’m excited, as most people know I’ve regretted getting the 12″ since I bought it. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s just too small for me. I’ll be happy to have the extra real-estate.
That live FF symphony thing is in San Diego next Thrusday night. I REALLY want to go. Andrew and I were going to go to the one in Chicago, but never did… Mike already has Friday off, so I can’t take friday off and go, but I was thinking maybe I can go, and still make it back by say like 2am for work. The concert starts at 8 and it can’t be more then 2 or 3 hours.. So I figure as long as I’m out of there by 11, I can be back here by 2.. I just wish I had someone to go with me.. I know if Andrew were still here he’d force me to go.. They only have one more show after this and that’s in Michigan. However, Myke is going to give me the CD… Well, he’s going to upload it to my server.. Heaven forbid we hang out again so he can just give it to me. (He went and saw them in SF and said it was fantastic)
Umm, nothing much else going on. I’m kinda pissed though. I was supposed to go out with Stephen last night to see Fantastic 4, but he never called, so I got online about 9, and he was like… “Well, this other guy said he was going to go out with me, so I’m waiting for him”… Ended up this other guy ditched Stephen too, but then he was all bitching at me.. “I hate when people ditch me.” It’s like, HELLO! You fucking ditched me too, youhave no right to talk. Fucking annoying Californians.
I keep meaning to send Andrew something, but I always forget to get it in the mail… Hopefully I’ll get it send before the 11th so it can get to London in time. 🙂
Nothing must else going on in my life… I think next weekend I’m going to spend it shampooing my carpets and cleaning my apartment top to bottom. It’s been getting pretty dirty. I also have to do laundry. I’m down to only a few pairs of Undies left.
I’m so excited, in a month and 2 days I’ll be in Iowa! I can’t wait!
Later.
I got my new lease paper this month… It’s been 9 months since I moved into this apartment, crazy I tell you.
Now I’ve got to decide what I should do about it… Should I sign it for 6,9,12 more months… Should I go month-to-month? What should I do!
I opened it today and the first thing I saw was $1350… I about pissed my pants thinking they were going to raise my rent to that… Thankfully that’s what it goes to if you do month-to-month. So Yeah, it’s still only $1085, as long as I sign a lease. Nice thing is that if I get it in by the endof next week they take $200 off of August’s rent. So that’s exciting. I could sure use that extra $200 while I’min Iowa. 🙂
Speaking of, when I made all my plans to go back there I was planning on having someone with me to doa ll this shit with. But now I’m just lokoing at it all thinking, WHAT am I going to do back there for a whole week and a half?! MOst of the shit I want to do are things I DO NOT want to do alone! I really wish I had someone to go back with me.
I know Jed will do some things with me, like he said he wanted to go to the Fair with me, but he’s got a bbf now, so it’ll be harded to get him to go and do other things with me, unless the boyfriend comes along. I’m also sure that Justin will want to hang out with me too… But I’m sure some of the things I want to do, he won’t want to do…. So alas, I’m left with most things to do alone…..
I find it funny that when I was living in Iowa, I had like 4 people practically fighting over me to go out with them… But here, I can’t even get anyone to talk to me! Like I’ve hung out with all these people once, Myke, Peter, Steven, Stephen, Bastian and others that I can’t remmeber. And we alwys seem tohave a really good time and everyone always says, “We should hang out again” but then they never WANT TO HANG OUT AGAIN! WHY WHY WHY? What do I do to these people, am I boring, do I come on to strong, maybe not strong enough? WHO KNOWS! Won’t SOMEone fUCkiNG TELL ME!
Blah!
Umm, in other news. Depression, is again on the forefront, This time not so much mentally but more physically. Some days I can’t sleep at all, like today I got about 2 hours of sleep… Other days I get 12-14 hours of sleep. I haven’t been eating much at all.. Example, Over the last week I’ve been eating a Granola Bar, 2-4 slices of bread a day and a glass of milk. My apartment has also become a mess, I haven’t cleaned in weeks there are papers everywhere, dishes in the sink, and clothes all over my bedroom floor.
I have just enough energy to shower and go to work.. I typically come home, strip to my boxers and spend the day on the couch doing nothing.
I did watch a good Jerry springer today. Andrew would have been proud at it’s horribleness.
I also got into it with one of my co-workers yesterday about how the OC is so materialistic. It was actually very amusing.
Speaking of work I also got $500 in overtime this week that I wasn’t expecting. So now I can easily pay for my camera and save about $300 more then normal. 🙂 How exciting is that!
Alas this is not a three day weekend for me… So I hope everyone else enjoys thier time away from work. Think of me at my office while you’re all out partying Sunday night and into early sunday morning.
I was thinking I might drive up to Central-California next weekend and just sleep in my car. friday up, saturday to search around and sunday back. Might be fun?
Well, night all.
abandonediowa Check out this COOL ass livejournal! I wish I had thought to do things like this while living in iowa… THere’s so many abandonded places there!
Maybe I should start a California one, but we all know I’ll say I will and then not do it… Oh well.
If only I had someone to do it with! Now that’d be fun!
Like, when I was on the Queen Mary,t ehre were so many placed that said “Stay Out” but clearly were NOT well secured. I totally wanted to go in them.. My mom said she’d go to, if I weren’t there. She can’t add to my badness. lol
Laters.
PS. sorry for all the random postings. 🙂
So… I know I haven’t actually updated since Sunday… Sorry, I’ve been under a lot of stress, and just not feeling up to it… But the last two days I haven’t slept for shit because I have something on my mind…
Anyways, go recap my days first. Andrew called me on Sunday. It was really good to hear his voice again and to talk to him but we got into a fight because I won’t elaborate on something I wrote about on my journal here… I had just gotten over about it and I really didn’t need him bringing it back up. We got cut off though because he kept cutting out, so that sucked. I wish I had been able to say a better goodbye. I’m sure he’s having a ton of fun too. He made out with some boy as well.
Work has been work. Boring yet busy. I’ve been studying both the VoIP and Netbackup stuff. So learning lots, other then that nothing has gone on in my life.
Now, the point of this update… I DO have a crush on someone, it’s Myke… Even though he hardly talks to me online, or at least hardly compared to what I’d like to talk to him. I’m not exactly sure what it is about him that’s made me have such a strong crush on him… It could be one of many things or all of them… The fact that he’s in college and wants to get his PHD…. The fact that he’s so into computers and geeky things and it’s amazing to be able to talk to someone for so long about it. (One of the major things I didn’t like about andrew and I was that he never was interested/understood what I was talking about)…. The fact that he’s hot as hell…. or the fact that he reminds me so much of andrew…
But either way I have a really strong crush on him… HE admitted on his journal on friday that he had a crush on someone else though and that really actually hurt me. I sent him an e-mail, and well that’s what I was talkinga bout the other day. Anyways, he finially answered my question last night after I brought it up to him on aim…. He said that anything between he and I, he didn’t see happening. Which is understandable, I’m just not good enough for him, and I figured that from the begining..
But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him, about how fucking flirty he was with me when I went over there that one night…. I keep asking myself, WHY WAS HE SO FLIRTY. It’s so annoying because he gave off signs and then says a different thing. It’s like, DAMNIT Don’t play with a fragile boy’s mind like that!
I also just want to cuddle with him again…. It was so nice to be able to cuddle with someone again, to just lay there on his couch and hold him, and watch TV. It felt so amamzing… Sometimes it’s better then sex.
SOMEONE GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD!
I realy wish I could just have a cuddle buddy friend, and he’d be perfect for that…
Either way, he said he does want to hang out, when he has time. So who knows HOW LONG that’ll be… I’d really like to hang out with him again this weekend. Cause it is July 4th weekend, and if he doesn’t. I can bet you I’ll end up sitting at my house all weekend alone and depressed…
Also this weekend marks one year since I went back to Iowa and basically the weekend that my relationship with Andrew ended… So some company would be very welcomed to keep my mind off of that.
Goodnight.