Weekend Wonders

Well this weekend’s been good so far. Friday night Adam and I went downtown and hung out for a while. We saw alot of hot wrestler guys, it was good. Then we got bored so we came back to my house and went hot tubbing. It was a good night for that. Saturday he worked tell 3, so I went over to Ankeny about 1ish cause I had to bithc at my cell phone company people. I went in there and bitched and the hot guy took $30 off my cell phone bill for this month. He was hot. Then I went and talked to Julian at Wal-Mart. He was just getting ready to go n break, so I went back and talked to him in the break room, that was amusing. Wal-Mart has these new, really cool computer, for $399, I’m going to buy one. Usually shipping on a computer is like $50, so I thought if they were going to carry them in store, I’d buy one there and only have to pay taxes, well last night I checked it out and shipping is only $15, so I’m going to buy one online. I’m also going to talk to my PU’s and see if they’ll buy one to upgrade thier computer and then I’ll get the old one for my use. I need a new computer to use, so yeah. It’d be cool. Julian and I talked for like an hour, it was good times. After that I went over to Adam’s and we went to Saylorville and just hung out there walking round and stuff, it was fun.

We also called David last night at work. That was amusing cause he would have never susupected us to be calling him at work. We’re going to hang out with him Friday sometime.

Adam get’s off at 4 today. I dunno what we’re going to go. I’m guessing he’ll probably repot a Bonsai or something, cause that’s what he always ends up doing.

Ok, well I’m going to head out now. Laters all.

Do I Ask To Much?

Do I? I mean would it be to much to call me and say, “Hey, I’m not going to be around tonight.” Is it to much to do, so that I don’t spend my night worring where he’s at, worrying about what’s going on, why’s he not talked to me today? Am I asking to much….

Last time he got a Friday out of school, he went out and got high. So this time, when he didn’t call, didn’t show up to talk, I worried, is that where he’s at now. Is he getting high again. I worried.

It’s not that I don’t want him to go out during the week. It’s not that I’m being controlling and saying that he has to be online every five minutes. It’s really for my own sanity, because I do love him so much that I worry, if he’s not online and I don’t know that he’s out, in my mind that means bad things. For example on Tuesday, we talked for a while, from about 5-5:30. I had to leave to go back to the dorms, so I told him. “I’ll be back on in like 30 minutes.” Never once did he say that he would be leaving to go to a meeting, never once. So I get back to the dorm, expecting for him to be on, so that we can continue our converstaion where we left off. But when I got back and looked, he wasn’t on… I restart Aim, to make sure it haden’t frozen. But he still wasn’t on… I waited, and I waited, 7:30, he still wasn’t around, 8:30, he still wasn’t around, finally about 10:30 he got back on, and said that he had his Bonsia meeting. “In case you were wondering.” Yes I was wondering, no, scratch that I wasn’t just wondering, I was worrying. Worrying why he wasn’t there to talk to, had I said something to make him mad, had he gotten in trouble. I didn’t know…

So on Thursday, when he didn’t show up, I worried. I worried about where he was, what had happened, why wasn’t he on. As the night grew on my anxiety grew. Where was he, was he out getting high, or…I dunno. I wondered, I worried. I tried calling, calling his cell phone, then I remember he had lost it, so that wouldn’t help. Tried calling his house, no one answered. What was I to do. I sat in front of my computer, staring at a blank screen for hours, wishing, hoping that the next person to get online would be him, wishing that that box that said “Adam’s Online” would pop to the front. But I was left, wondering, worrying. Wishing that he would call to tell me that he’s going to be out, telling me that he loves me. Message me or something. As the night grew older, my anxiety turned to anger, why can’t he tell me if he’s going to be gone, so that I don’t worry. This isn’t the first time, I don’t care where he is… Well I do, but. I just want to know that he’s alright. Really that’s all I want….

Is this to much to ask?

Tired, Sleep

I’m really fucking tired today. I couldn’t get to sleep last night, to many things going though my mind. Mostly things about my back, it’s hurting like hell again. There was also alot of other things on my mind, but I really don’t want to get into that.

So today at work was really long too. We’re working on making this CD for MCC, it has like 50 presentations by all these people from the DOE, DOD, NASA and a whole shit load of National Labs etc. Well I was going though them all, fixing broken movies, adding bookmarks to them (8 bookmarks in each one) and changing the startup properties. It took me about 5 hours to get through them all. Then I took them into Nazanin to show her the finals. She started going though them, and there were like a couple that were “bigger” then the others. And she also decided she wanted to change the startup properties on them. I was about ready to kill her. Earlier I had done one, showed it to her, and she said that was good. I asked her if there was _ANYTHING_ she wanted to change, and she said now. But she’s a stupid bitch, so I had to go through them all and change the fucking things again. Why does she have to be such a nit-picky littlee bitch. And the worst thing is that she can’t understand most of what you tell her. You tell her that something can’t be done, and she insists that it can. I usually prove her wrong, but it’s just a pain in the ass. If she would just let us do our work and she did hers, we would get so much more shit done. But that’s govement work for you.

XMMS is dead and it’s sad. I upgraded to 1.2.6 from 1.2.5 and now it plays things in like fastforward. It’ll play a 3 minute song in like 3 seconds…..

Ok, Gotta love forums. I found the answer, XMMS lives again! ::yay::

Not much is really going on. I found out they offer alot of neet religion classes here. So I’m going to take some next semster, they look interesting. I still need to find another class for this summer though. So I’m going to go search the book some more. Laters all…..