Category: Not Published

Last Weekend as an OCer

Well, my last weekend as an OC Boy. 🙁

And it was honestly pretty fun!

Friday I didn’t do anything too fun. I worked, got bored and went home early. Mostly because I needed to download Fedora to actually DO any work, and it’s faster to go home and download it then it is to try and do it here at the office. I also went on a bike ride, went shopping for a bunch of stuff and did some other random stuff.

Ended up staying in that night though because I was tired and not feeling all that great. Watched The Producers. It was really good and I want to go see the play so badly now! Went to bed early.

Saturday I got up and did Laundry till like noon and then Austin called, so I went over there and we went down to Laguna Beach. Spent like 3 hours there hanging out and stuff and then went back to his place and showered and met Joel and Ryan in Dana Point for Sushi. It was a good day.

From there we all separated and I went home for like an hour before meeting up with Joel and Ryan at thier place for pre-drinks. 11ish we headed out to the boom. Had a fairly good night there, some random people came up and talked to him. The guy was really cute and I tried talking to him more, but he didn’t really seem too interested in talking. 🙁 They were asking me if I was from Kansas.

Ryan and Joel started talking to this random 34 year old guy. Who I thought was really nasty and creepy. Anyways, they invited him to Jack-in-the-box. I think they were trying to hook me up with him. But before the night was over, it was Ryan who got the hook up.

Anyways, after JITB, we were heading back to the car when Ryan decided he had to pee, so the random guy invited us up to his place so that he could do that… Then of course Ryan kept talking and we couldn’t get the hell out of there.. Needless to say I was REALLY pissed and Ryan ended up hoooking up with the random guy in the bathroom while Joel and I were sitting out on the balcony.

Finially got out of there at like 3am. Got home and just crashed.

Sunday I got up and was just lounging around the house. Went shopping at the Shops and got a second power adapter for my MacBook. Got home from that and was just sitting down when Andrew called and wanted to hang out. So I went up there and Austin met us. We watched Golden Girls and then went shopping at the block. I bought a really cute stripped shirt… Just what Austin HATES! lol.

Speaking of though. That boy is so fucking wierd. He IMed me on friday and was like, “We need to hang out more, blah blah blah” it was so wierd. But it was days like Sat/Sun that made me like him so much in the first place, hopefully that doesn’t cause an issue again. Though I’m doubtful it will.

I also got a bit depressed this weekend about the whole Dustin issue, it was really sad and annoying. I’m just so ready to fucking find someone and get a life started with my partner!

Which brings us to the Andrew issue… as he stated in his latest blog, we’re both looking for the same things, and we could get that out of each other.. But honestly, I just don’t think another relationship between the two of us would work out. There’s just too much history and stuff there now. I think we’re just bound to be friends. Hopefully for life. Plus with him moving in a year… who knows.

Andrew and I went and picked up the keys to my apartment, it kinda made me not as excited about it was I was originally. I got a much better look at the kitchen and bathroom, and they are both pretty gross… Mostly the floors are really gross… I was thinking I could get some of those sticky floors and just put those down or something to make it better… It is much bigger then I remembered. So that’s good.

Private: Confusion of life

Ok this is going to be a tell all entry that may have lots of things in it that people don’t want to hear, so that is the fair warning to everyone.

So the other night we went out to the Boom. I ended up in the underwear contest again and that was ok, I only got third place this time. Ok so then I was dancing with Joel and he left me, and green shirt boy (Jake) was there and dancing with me and pushing me against the wall and at some point we made out (#1), and after that every time we passed each other, we would grab each other and make out real quick.

Anyways, fast forward the night and we met these guys David and Buck. Well actually I think we had met them earlier that night, but regardless. I start talking to David and well before you know it, we start making out (#2). After a few minutes of that, I literally turned around, and started making out with Buck (#3).

So yeah somehow we end up at Buck and David’s hotel room. I throw up, which totally sucks. Though afterwards I felt perfect so that was super good. Anyways, after that I was in my undies in the hot tub/jacuzzi thing they had and Buck got naked (Buck naked! hehe, ok no jokes) and we made out for awhile and yeah, nothing much else happened at the hotel room.

So Chris and I get back to his place, we fall asleep yada yada. This was after I put on a super cute pair of undies that he had. Anyways, next thing I know, I woke up and I was cuddling him and telling him how much I wanted to fuck him. Well he agrees, and to make a long story short, we have sex. Now we haven’t had any physical contact besides a hug for over a year I think (or just about a year). So it was strange. And there was no real intimacy, we kissed for like 2.5 seconds and I got the impression that he wasn’t wanting to kiss. So yeah, he finished, I finished, and then we basically rolled over and went to sleep. Strange, huh? I thought so too.

Now I’m all conflicted with ideas. I kinda talked to him about it, but not really, I think we are going to talk more later. But I don’t know. It’s annoying to me b/c we are both looking for a relationship right now, and we are both (for the most part) looking for the type of person that we used to be for each other, if that makes sense. For example, the next morning, we woke up and we were just sitting in bed together watching TV and just kinda chatting. And I was thinking “geez this is EXACTLY what I want.” And it really is. And I was thinking how nice it would be to have that again, and then I don’t know, right when I was leaving he was a tad bit flirty for like 2 seconds (and I probably just made that up in my head) but for some reason it made me smile when I left, and confused me. So that’s that. I guess I’ll talk to him later and talk it over. Earlier, he said that it felt nice afterwards b/c it was me, so I don’t know what that means. That’s one issue.

Another issue is that I felt completely trashy and slutty after that night. I mean FOUR people in one night, that’s just horrible. And I decided I really need to curtail my alcohol intake and stop making out with random people. I really just want a decent boyfriend that I can depend on. So all these thoughts are going through my head Saturday and I had a horrible headache (my own fault, of course).

Anyways, point is, I don’t wanna feel trashy anymore and I just want a boyfriend to care about me and that I can care about and it’s annoying and frustrating and throw the whole Chris thing in and it’s like WHAT’S GOING ON!!!!

Well that’s my big drama. In other news, I’m working 8:30-5, which totally sucks. It’s boring, but at least I have things to do the whole time. It’s long and yeah.

Last night I dreamt I murdered someone and I really thought it was true and it was one of those dreams in which you realize it’s a dream but at the same time think it’s true, and I was trying to wake myself up and it took me awhile, but I finally did and then realized I had somehow turned off my alarm in my sleep and barely had enough time to get to work. Though my boss has been late every day so far, so he didn’t know I was late.

Ok I think that’s it. I’ll update more in depth later if anything happens. If anything thrilling happens at Res Life, or if I get super bored, I’ll update more! Anyways, nobody judge me on my activities, I’m trying to change!!!

Private: Not Proud.

So. Saturday night, we didn’t just go to bed… We all had a threesome. Joel, Dustin and I.

I’m really not proud of it, but it was good/fun. Joel fucked me. I think he may have fucked Dustin as well, but I’m not sure? And Dustin can’t remeber. He was pretty drunk.

I really did not approve of this happening, but I was way to drunk at the time to stop it. I tried not to really do anything with Joel, but at one point he jumped over from beside Dustin to behind me, and before I knew it, his cock was up my ass.

I mainly just made out with Dustin a lot and gave him a hand job. I think at one poine I passed out for a while. SO I’m not really sure what happened in there.

Over all, it lasted like 3 hours though. I just hope this doesn’t make things wierd between us all.

I feel so dirty.

Long Beach… Part 2

Today I find out where I’m living. Hopefully….

Yesterday was pretty good. After work I went up to Long Beach and hung out with Austin. We looked at aprtments. Found this one amazing place! 3 bedroom, right by the ocean, it was SO NICE! $2,500. If I could only find ONE roommate, I’d totally get the place! Grrrr. Found a few other semi-good places. Most of them were 2 bedrooms though. Which was annoying. Ugh.

I did have a good time hanging out with him again. However I totally picked out his annoying qualities again. Mostly the fact that he’s so impatient. Like he would keep yelling at me because I wasn’t dialing the phone numbers fast enough, etc.

Got home about 5:30, watched a little TV and was crashed by 7:30. I dunno why I’m so tired!

And that’s it really! Adios!

Private: The Return

It’s been a long and really emotional weekend for me.

Friday night was Little Shop of Horrors. I got to Dusin’s about 5ish, and traffic getting there was hell. Set up the stuff that I had brought and he cleaned up his apartment. He wouldn’t stop talking though and clean, so it took him forever. We were 30 minutes late getting out of there.

Got to the theater and I just stood around waiting for everyone to get there. The play it self was really good. I enjoyed it.

After that was the after party at the theater. He talked to like everyone and we didn’t get out of there till 11:10, when we should have been out of there by 10:45. Got back to his place and it took me forever to find parking.

The party was fun. Lots of random people there. Joel, Jon, Ryan and I just all hung out on the couch and talked. People ate my food, but not as much of it as they should have. Went to bed at like 3:00 and got up Saturday morning about 9.

Went home and cooked the dinner for Dustin and I. Had just finished at 1, when Dustin was supposed to have been getting there. However he called and said he was JUST LEAVING. So he was again, 30 minutes late. As soon as he got there we left for the theater in Laguna Beach. Got there and ssaw Last Easter. Horrible production! Absolutely horrible.

After that we walked down to the beach and looked around and then went up to Top of the world where we ate dinner. Went back to my house and he left. I went to sleep and got up about 10:15ish.

Headed over to Joel’s and hung out with the boys till Dustin got there…. 15 minutes late this time. ONce he got there we all headed down to the Boom.

Austin was there, I really did not enjoy seeing him again. Although I was very pleasent towards him. He was being VERY touchy feely with Joel and Jon. I do not like him being in my group of friends at all. But alas, I cannot tell them who they can and can’t be friends with. Austin and I are also meeting today, we shall see how that goes. I’m a bit nervous for it.

Got home about 3 again from the boom and went to bed. Got up about 10 sunday morning and showered and then drove dusin back to his car. He left and I spent the rest of the day lounging around my apartment and starting the packing process.

Sunday was SUPPOSED to have been a whole day to hang out with him. But as the weekend grew on, he suddendly had more and more things to do. It was very annoying. When he left Sunday morning we had plans still, A movie and then Sunday night line up on FoX. He was supposed to call me to let me know what time he was leaving work, but he never did.

So, as you can probably tell, I’m a bit annoyed with him. He was late for everything this weekend, and then completely ditched on the plans for sunday. Ugh.

Either way, I got pretty damn emotional as I was getting ready for bed last night. Just seeing all my shit being packed away, and all my empty walls, and knowing that I have no where to live. I just don’t know what to do.

Adios.