Tag: Mac

Everything Hates Me

Even the fucking vending machines.

I didn’t have any food in my house this morning to bring to campus, so that I could eat and not starve to death. So I grabbed $.75 so that I could get something from the vending machine. Well I came to Carver just now and wanted some Skittles. (The thing with least amount of fat/calories). Put in my $.75, and pushed in ’25’. And the god damn thing got stuck! I was pissed.

Now I have nothing to eat and I’m stuck on campus tell 5:30. I’m going to starve to death! ::whines::

Things yesterday/last night sucked. Lots of life decisions to be made, but none of it’s in my hands and that just really scares me. It seems as though they’ve been made, or at least narrowed, and I have yet to be informed of that… But there really hasn’t been any time to do that yet. I’m just waiting for tonight/whenever to roll around os that I know what’s going to happen. I hate being in suspense.

I did get to watch the West Wing and Ed Premiers last night though. They were both very sad and I cried during them.

The Ed one really got me thinking though, about the first time I’ve had sex, and the first time that Andrew and I did anything. It made me sad and really miss him, and having that physical relationship with him. It’s hard, and I’m glad that we at least still have the emotional relationship, mostly.

I’ve very scared right now, about a lot of things. The only thing though that I can really write about is my tests.

I have two this next week. Both have LARGE amounts of essay questions. I hate essay questions, and I suck at doing them. Not good.

My MGMT 414 prof gave us a list of 10 questions today that could potentially be essays. Someone asked how many he was going to pick and he said he didn’t know tell the day before the test. He did say that he will pick anywhere from 1-5 of those questions though.

Then someone asked him how long our responces have to be to the questions. And he said, “I’ll tell you that on the day of the test.”

GREAT!! So not only do we NOT know how many there are going to be, but we also have NO IDEA how long/detailed our answers need to be to get the full points.

AND to top it all off, the essays are 60% of our grade for the test! God damnit!

THEN THEN THEN!!! Get this, My International Poltics class we have a test on Tuesday, 50% of our grade on that test is the essay questions which could be from chapter 1-3 in our Nye Reading, any of the 8 short (ie, 5 page) articles that we’ve had to read, or ANY of the crazy news stories that he talks about in class every day!

NOt only do we have NO IDEA what READING they are going to be over, but we HAVE NO IDEA what the questions are going to be, or be like! I REALLY hate that.

THEN! There’s 6 short answer questions, which could be over any of the above readings, and the Foreword, Afterword or conclusion of this other book that we have to read!

Someone help… I’m going to fucking shoot myself. With this and all the emotional stresses going on, I really can’t handle all this.

And to make things 10 million times worse, I was mean and bitchy to Andrew last night, and I feel bad about that. 🙁 I wish everything could go back to the way that it was. Before he left, this is all just too much for me. But once this decision is made, everything will be better… Hopefully. And I have full faith that he will make the “right” decision. Whatever that may be, because honestly, I don’t even know. Only time will show us if the decision is right or not.

There is a little bit of good news going on in my life though… I’m wearing cute boxers!

Wait, that wasn’t it. Oh, I turned in my app today for the Yucatan thing. And there’s a meeting on the 9th of Oct to go to. So hopefully I get accepted to that. It’ll be way exciting and be a huge boost to my self-confidence. Because honestly, after seeing the Vegas pics, it’s lacking a bit more right now.

Oh, and FYI, they are cute boxers… They’re all black, with cute little ghost eyes on them. So adorable! I hope the others that they had go on sale here soon, cause I want them as well. So cute!

They don’t have the ones that I’m wearing on-line… But here’s the ones that I want:

(Ok, I actually have these!)


Anyways, I’m out… I think I may buy those tonight.. I seem to have extra money left over this month!

Strange Days

So the last couple days have been very strange.

There seems to be a lot of randoms out there IMing me lately, and it’s starting to get very very annoying. Yeah, it’s nice that I have people to talk to online. But many of them are from far away places, and are still in HS, and are thus not really good people to talk to.

And plus, I just want people to hang out with lately. Last night I really wanted to just hang out with someone. And there was this crazy IMing me, and kept blabing about wanting to hook up. I was like, “NO, crazy.”

But eventually I was like, well we can hang out, cause I realy wanted to hang out with someone. So he came over. Very strange person. He only stayed for like 20 minutes or so, we talked about Andrew mostly. And also about Mac’s. Apparently he has one on order. One of the new ones. Hoe.

Then later on Crazies boyfriend IMed me, and we talked computers. Apparetnly he’s a ComE major. Only talked to him for a bit though.

Went and showered cause I”m sure I smelled since I worked out earlier that day and hadn’t showered since before that. Then Gap Boy Imed me and we set a date to go have dinner. So we’re meeting up tomorrow to have dinner and hang out before he has to go to work. I’m very nervous for that. I don’t know what the hell we’re going to talk about all through dinner! Very crazy.

Though I did see him on campus this morning, pushing chairs around. I was riding my bike and had just got done lifting, so all sweaty and the like, so didn’t stop and say HI. Though I’m sure I’ll hear about that later. lol.

Hit bed shortly after that, but only after like 10 other randoms IMed me… All seeming to want into my pants. I don’t get it. I’m really not that cute, and whatever. They’re all crazies. ::whines:: I just want people to hang out with. I need to drop my morals I guess to get that though.

Anyways, got my paper back from my MGMT prof… With this written at the top of it:

Now if someone can tell me what that says… I’ll give them a blowjob.. I mean cookie.
lol.

Yeah, so that’s my life.

Blackburn brought up the unbrandamerica.org website the other day in class. I was excited. Well mostly because I planted a thing on her desk that was the unbrandamerica.org poster and well she read it and actually right there incorporated it into her lecture. She’s such a great prof. I guess she reads Adbusters too. Which is way cool.

Speaking of, I’m reading one of the books for that class, Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America. It’s a very scary book, and I really don’t like reading it. Though it just keeps dragging me in more and more. I hope the rest of my selections to read in that class are just as interesting!!

Anyhow… Basically strange days == many people wanting my pants, and me not wanting to give it to them.

I just want my Drew Bear back to protect me. I don’t like singledom.

A Tramatic Weekend

Ok, well this weekend was very very very emotional for me. All of which was written in a private entry. So you’ll all have to wait at most a year to be able to read about it. So 😛

So yeah, Saturday was spent in my apartment, nearly 5 hours on the phone that day. I didn’t get much done, like I wanted too. I had planned on stay in and getting caught up in all my readings.

Oh well. It was better to be on the phone.

I went home Saturday night, and just sat around and did nothing.

Sunday I got up and got to drive the Cat. That was exciting. We’re building a garage this week, incase no one knew that. Very strange if I do say so myself.

After that went to Beak’s and “fixed” her computer. After that we headed out and spent the day shopping. I got 6 new pairs of boxers. All very cute.

One the shopping was over, they decided not to go to the Drag show and I didn’t want to go alone. So I headed back to Ames, wrote a 6.5 page private entry, and then spent the rest of the night on the phone.

Went to bed about 11:30, after hanging up the full length mirror that I bought at 11. I think the people above me weren’t very happy.

Today I got up, went to class and that hurt like shit. I did 30 minutes on the bike and burned about 200 calories. I wanted to try the eliptical machine, but they were all in use. I then worked my legs and ab’s. I’m up to 96 pounds on the abs and 240 on the legs.

Did my arms, and stuff as well. Which are really starting to hurt. Though I am starting to see a difference in my chest… I was jacking it yesterday and was obviously flexing my muscles, and I could tell a difference. So that’s happy.

I can also REALLy tell on my abs. And my legs too. So that’s good. I just wish that I could drop the fat faster then what I’m doing.

My partner and I talked a lot today as well, which was strange. Normally we don’t talk to much, but we talked about classes and all that.

Ok, well I’m on the phone with Apple and I’m purchasing an Xserve!!! Very exciting for me. So I must break now.

Laters all!

Where Do They Hide?

Ok, well lots of things to update about, but also lots of work to do, so we’ll see what I actually get updated about and what doesn’t get an update about.

First off there’s something that I’ve been meaning to mention for a LONG time. And that’s the fact that they GYM is very sexual… I mean, hello. Those machines? They put the ass in the perfect spot for a good fucking. And oh man, do some of those boys that work out there have nice asses! 😛 Today I was really horny and contemplated writing another story, which I haven’t done in like a year. So perhaps I shall do that tonight after I write that paper that I have to do. I have it all planned out already. I just have to write it down. Also thought that it would be hot to make a porno in the Beyer weight room. Mmmm. Hot!

Speaking of hot, it was REALLY fucking hot in the Rec center this morning. I hope that they don’t plan on keeping it that hot all freaking winter there. That would be really annoying. Though I’m starting to see a difference in my workouts. I’m lifting heavier weights and just getting better in general. I asked my Prof to bring in a body-fat thing, but he didn’t. Maybe he’ll do that Friday. I’d really like to know what it is, considering that when I did it in HS, it was like 35% or something. lol.

And one other thing that I really wanted to talk about here real quick like. Is the fact that there’s people out there who persue me to date me. But they always seem to wait for to long before they let me know that they have intentions, and then when they do tell me. It’s at the WRONG time. Andrew was one example of that, and now I have Shepely who’s been trying to get me too. It’s very wierd if you ask me… That anyone would actually seek me out to date. Very strange. Though it does make me feel good.

Also I talked to Gap Boy yesterday. Just for a ocuple minutes cause I was on my wayt o class, so I couldn’t talk long. THough I’m going to go back today and purchase a shirt from him for B-week. Good times.

Alright, on to the week!

Yesterday was just a down day for me in general. I didn’t really do much and lately it’s been getting harder and harder for me to roll myself out of bed in the morning. And it’s not just because I haven’t been sleeping. Which I haven’t been.

I went and talked to the Career Services guy and he gave nothing but bad news about my wanting to move to Cali. Though I am going, I don’t care if I have a job or not. Which he said that it appears that since my dedication is so high, I do have a better chance of at least getting a foot in the door since I’m going to be out there anyways for Spring Break. Anyways, that brought me down.

Then I went home and sat and watched TV all night long. Which brought me down even more, and then Andrew didn’t call tell late, and I was pissy with him and then I got very sad and started crying on the phone and it was just bad in general. Very very bad.

Today’s been going alright, though I have a ton of work to do, and I really don’t want to do any of it. Really I don’t.

Anyways, I should go do that that and then write a private update about some things.

Laters all.

Over Yet?

God, isn’t this day over YET??

Today has just been DRAGGING on and on, and it doesn’t seem to STOP! Grrr.

I got up this morning about 7 and just hung around the house for a while. I really didn’t do much, though I had a lot that I should have been doing. I guess I’ll have to do it all tonight then.

Went to the Rec about 8, and ran/walked/situps for 40 minutes and then started my work out. I did that, and I was done by 9:10, well technically class had just started at 9:00. So I did my situps one more time and then did the abdominal machine, so my abs got a really good work out today. Anyways, I broke after that.

Came into work and before I even got to my office Barb was already bitching at me about something stupid. So I had to work on that. I still haven’t got it figured out yet though. After that was done, I had to do lots of stupid shit, and spent some time talking to Andrew. Good times there.

The rest of the day I’ve just been sitting around. I’m getting to the end of Earthbound and the enimies are really starting to get tough. So I keep dying. And that means that I get frustrated. Very annoying.

So I took a break from that and read some of the old private entries that I/Andrew have written. They made me happy thinking about all the great times we had. My Favorite was the one about the Trip to IC.

I really think that I’ll start going back through all those and un-privitizing them. I mean, now that things are calmed down between everyone, I think it’s alright for people to know what was going on in my life during that two months after the breakup. How I was feeling and my reasoning for everything. Though I doubt anyone will actually go back and read them, so it’s not that big of a deal.

But they did bring back really good memories and made me very happy. (Well the ones that we’re bitching ones that is. lol) Ahh, perhaps I’ll go read some more.

Laters all.

Oh, PS. I also started looking up places to live in San Diego. Good times, there’s also some good looking jobs that are being advertised right now. I really wish that I could transfer out there now. Or something. I could use it.