Tag: free

So BORED!

I’m so bored!

Why’s there nothing to do.

I need a new project to work on. Quick, someone, somewhere! Give me something to do.

I thought this stuff from the Outage would take longer, but I hit 100 phone calls faster then I thought. Bah!

I’ve cruised myspace and e-mailed a few people from there… I’ve decided I need to expand my homo friends list to more then just one boy

I miss the days of Princess Crew, 10-15 people meeting at Java’s Every weened night for a good old laugh and fun times. Andrew and I made a list the other day of all those people:

Me

Andrew

Adam – IC

Skinny – NY

Scott – UT according to Rumors?

Dustin – IC

Tenn Alex – Who knows?

David 2 – Slut now.

Jenny – Umm, College somewhere?

Ginny – College in Iowa

Alanna – Who Knows?

Betsy – Who Knows?

And so many other randoms who we couldn’t even remember thier names, that came in and out over that year and a half or so. I really miss those days. 🙁 So carefree and fun and eveyrone liked each other and all that. Then I guess partly my fault everyone broke up, and partly the fact that everyone went off to school. I almost wish we could all have a reunion or something. I think it’d be fun.

I hate this state. I know I’ve said it before, but I do. It’s made me depressed again and Im gaining weight. I hate it, and I hate the way that I feel.

I do like my job though, and I like the people I’ve met. I just hate the state and the way it’s made me. I keep hoping, that some day soon they will go to the fully tele-commute model here. I guess they are waiting on some security things with the network to get cleared up before doing anything. I have a feeling though that it could be a year or more before we see anything real with this. I mean look how slow everything else has moved. I’ve been here, what. Almost 4 months now? And I still don’t have my fucking business cards.

Gah.

Tonight was spent laying in bed and sleeping/relaxing. It was well needed.

Tomorrow (Today/Fri) I’m going to go to the gym. I must go to the gym today.

Saturday I’m going to hang out with Andrew from 1ish to sometime. I think we’ll head down to my area and go to the beaches/mall and whatever else we can think of to do. Who knows.

I want to go camping. But the next time I’d have free to do it would be middle of Nov or early Dec. I’m not sure what things are like around here for camping during that time. I looked up places to go and it seems most places are up in the mountians, which I assume gets fairly cold and maybe even snowy during the winter months. So I’m not sure how well that would work out.

10 Minutes, and free cable!

So, as stated yesterday. Ty is a fucking dumbass.

I called the Cable company today, and after using a bit of social engineering. (you were supposed to have the last 4 of his social), 8 minutes of hold, and a total of 10 minutes on the phone. I got Free Standard basic calbe installed on the other two tv ports in the apartment.

Yeah, who said it could be done? That’s right, me… Who was RIGHT! Yet again! ME! Gee ! 🙂

Here’s a list of things to do with Nikki In Iowa so far:

Redlight

Java Joe’s

Hu Hot

Biagis or Centro — Which one?

Jordan Creek

Reimen (Butterfles – With Oksana, I hope she’ll be in town!)

Fleur Cinema

Skywalks – Art Center?

The Christmas holiday light thing…. The one KCCI talks about every year.

Anyone else have anything fun to do to show people how much fun Iowa is?! 😀

Alight, gotta go. It’s been a busy night here… The phone is actually RINGING!

Laters all!

You Know You Are From Iowa When….

During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.

You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it reaches back to town before you do.

You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

Your quarterback is hurt and you’re hoping it’s the first thing on the 6 o’clock news.

There’s a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

The local gas station sells live bait.

You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

You go to the State fair for your family vacation.

You get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop.

You’re on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

You go to the river because it’s almost like going to the ocean.

You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.

You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.

Using the elevator involved a corn truck.

Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.

You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

You are walking knee-deep in snow.

You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.

Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.

You talk with a friend about some big event you are going to attend, and by the end of the conversation you’ve decided you’re both too broke to go.

You know cow pies aren’t made of beef.

You wake up when it’s dark and go to bed when it’s still light.

You want to buy manure.

You listen to “Paul Harvey” every day at noon.

You can tell it’s a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.

Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code/county.

You leave your snow tires on year-round..

You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.

You know the code names for everyone on the CB.

You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.

You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

You don’t clean up the dog’s mess because it’s just fertilizer.

You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.

It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it’s clear across town.

You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.

You consider a building a mall if it’s bigger than the local Wal-Mart.

You measure distance in minutes

Weather is 90% of your conversation

Down south to you means Missouri

Snow tires came standard on your car

You have no concept of public transportation

The top 5% of your graduation high school class went to Iowa State — everyone else attended the U of I

You know more than one person who has hit a deer

You have no problem spelling “Des Moines”

You know the answer to the question, “Is this Heaven?”

Your school classes have been canceled because of cold

You know what the numbers I-80, I-35, I-235 mean

You know what “uff-da” means and how to use it properly

You know what “Amish Country” is

You’ve licked frozen metal

The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks

You wear shorts when it’s 50 degrees out in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60 degrees

You have gone Trick-or-Treating in two feet of snow

You carry jumper cables in your car

You drink “POP”

You know exactly where “Field of Dreams” and “Bridges of Madison County” was filmed

People from other states love to hear you say “Iowa” and other words with “Os” in them

You know what “Hawks” and “Clones” are

When someone says they are going out for dinner or supper, you know which meal they are talking about.

I stole this idea from Ryan, but I used a few different lists to complie this one. lol. I think it’s funny.

Umm, not to much going on lately. Hanging out alot.

Been working from home the last two days and it’s really fun. Getting a lot done, though I still have to do this stupid data layout. I’ve been busy with calendar software and such.

There’s a cat laying on the keyboard and it’s hard to type. lol

Laters all.

SuperSize THIS

Today was lots of fun. Got up about 2:30, 3ish and JonJon came over. We headed up to Chapman area to hit the pawn shops.

Did that for a while and no one would pay good money for his swords. Which are REALLY cool looking. He decided that he didn’t want to sell them, but I told him that if he ever needed any money again, that I’d buy them from him. So that’s cool. 🙂 Though I would have to do some research on them to find out about them before I shell out too much for them.

Anyways, did that for a while and then hit dinner cause neither of us had eaten all day. So we were starving.

After dinner we hit some stores around Old Towne Orange and found some really cool shit. Nothing was purchased though. After that we hit up the Main Place mall for a bit and then finally headed over to the movie. SuperSizeME!

Such a great fucking movie. Everyone should go and check it out. Though I doubt you’ll be able to find it playing anywhere anymore. It’s coming out on DVD in September though. 🙂

After the movie I called Andrew a few times so that those two could finally meet. But he never answered his phone. I didn’t realize his class didn’t get out tell 9:50. I thought he had said 9:30. Oh well. 🙁

Anyways, JonJon and I headed back to my apartment area when he decided he was hungry. So we stopped into Dennys. There were only TWO people working in the entire fucking place… Serving that is, I assume there were people working in the kitchen as well. 😛 Anyways, we got seated next to this really stupid group of people, though one of them was hot.

Well this group told the waiter that one of them was diabetic and then the waiter was being snappy back at them cause the guy was saying it just to be a jackass and the whole table was being mean and shit. And then the boy got mean back and yeah. It was just really stupid. But then like 10 minutes later he was re-telling the story to that table. It’s like, “HELLO! You were all sitting there when it happened, why are you retelling it” and he didn’t even retell what happened correct.

So we got out of there pretty fast and then went back to my place where I saw the roomie for the first time in forever. Anyways, he was like…. I haven’t charged you for utils in like 2 months. I was like, great!

Why the hell can’t he just charge Chris for the utils? And I’ll pay rent. Or if anything we should fucking split them 3 ways. I mean Chris uses more fucking utilities then anyone else. It’s very annoying. So yeah, that’s $300 down the drain.

Plus I’ve bought some expensive presents for people lately. One of which I might have to return now. 🙁 Stupid Ex’s giving the person the same gift two weeks ago and that person not telling me about it. 😛 We’ll see what comes of it. I don’t really want to have to return it.

My car is paid off NEXT MONTH! Yay!

I called my financial addvisor the other day and actually got to talk to him for once. Usually I just left messages asking questions and then he’d call back and leave a message. But for once we actually talked and he was very surprised by my debt-freeness and the amount of assests I have for someone being right out of college. 🙂

He did advise me to get some good tax write offs before the end of the year though because otherwise I’m going to end up paying a ton of money in taxes. 🙁 I’ll have to call him back to find out what I can write off and what not.

Lets see, what else is going on.

Not much really. I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from Iowa lately. I haven’t talked to the PU’s or the Gma in forever. I also feel as though I should call the GmaSibbel too, but who knows. I’d probably call her and she’d be like… “Chris Who” lol

Lets see, what else?

Um, nothing.

Off to have sex with my iPod..

Laters all.

What Am I Thinking #2

Edit:// This post is a little crazy. \:Edit

Gah…

What the hell AM I thinking lately. I seem to jus be fucking everything up for everyone in this world.

I hate it. I feel like such shit lately.

I’m fucking everything up between Andrew and I. I feel like I’m doing the right thing though. (Edit://not by fucking things up, but by taking time off//:Edit)

I think we’ve had an amazingly good couple days, but at the same time, whenever we hang out I feel so guilty and horrible. I dunno how to explain how I feel.

I still have amazing feelings for him. But at the same time, I just haven’t been feeling the same towards him as I used to. Right now I really think that it’s best we be friends and hang out. Hopefully my feelings will come back to what they once were. If everything is meant to be, then they will.

God, I just HATE the way that my life is right now.

I HATE that both Andrew and JonJon are going through some very hard (in the case of Andrew) and some hard (in the case of JonJon) times right now.

Well, I really can’t express what JonJon might be going through because he doesn’t really tell me about what hes feeling. Just that he’s got a crush on me, and he’s trying to get over it and so on.

I can express what Andrew’s going through and I hate that I’m putting him through it. I wish that we could have both gone through this ‘re-discover’ phase at the same time, but it just didn’t happen. I really hope that whatever turns out does so soon.

As for JonJon, he and I talked from like 1am to 5am this morning about all kinds of things. Everything from tarot readings to work to why I once wrote that he and I could never be bf’s.

And that’s what I’m going to focus on right now.

Honestly, the reason I wrote that was stupid. It’s beacuse of that whole history complex I have… I put way to much weight on a persons history… What they’ve done in the past.

And I hate that about myself. And I’m working on changing that. It’s why I joke with Andrew so much about fucking other people, etc. It’s why I do a lot of wierd things like that. And I hate hate hate it.

It’s another reason why I’m glad that jonjon is a friend, but alas.

I feel like I’ve hurt that tonight by explaining that to him.

He said: “Even though the number isn’t 2 high and because of the drugs i would never touch them again and when i know someone is on them i could tell them the good of not doing them and it’d and it would be more then just telling them. it would be speaking from experience. Honestly I wouldn’t be the jonjon I am if I never did.”

I said something about not being able to get oever it, blah blah. Something which was stupid. Then I said, if he wanted me to explain more in person I’d be happy to try.

Then he said: “Whats 2 explain u look at people and judge them on what they’ve done…I’m use 2 that only cuz yer not the only one who does that.”

I dunno, but that just really hurts me for some reason. I hate to think of the fact that I actually do just judge people on thier histories. And like I said, I’ve been trying to change that. I wouldn’t EVEN BE friends with JonJon if I hadn’t changed in the last year or so.

I wish I could make the next step to try and change those things, hopefully I am making the next step.

This is why I currently have such different ethical/moral standards for friends/bf’s. It’s easier for me to just like someone who has a ‘bad’ history. But it’s harder for me to love someone with one.

Beleive me, I went through a lot in the early times of my relationship with andrew just thinking of all the people he’s made out with/dated/done things with.

Maybe it’s because I’m jealous of them for having a life while I sat at home all by myself…..

Honestly, I think that’s probably the best reason I can think of. Because, if I had my life to do over again… I’d probably do a lot of that stuff…. I’d try drugs, I’d have sex, and I’d be more me (Edit://IE, probably more like JonJon. We honestly have a LOT more in common then I could ever imagine//:Edit).

Fuck my life.

feeling restricted
being fenced in by obstacles
staying in a limited situation
feeling trapped by circumstances
experiencing few options
being blind to freedom
feeling persecuted
feeling confused
being unsure which way to turn
feeling at a loss
lacking direction
feeling overwhelmed
floundering around
needing guidance and clarity
not understanding what is happening
feeling powerless
waiting for outside rescue
doubting anything you do will help
avoiding responsibility
looking for a white knight
feeling victimized
accepting inaction

Fuck it all. Why can’t I just be happy for who a person is today.

JonJon’s a great guy, he deserves someone great.

Andrew’s a great guy, he deserves someone great… Someone better then me…I feel like he’s wasted a year on me.

Everyones better then me.. They all deserve something better… Maybe I should just stop dating and just fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, when I’m horny.

Goodbye.