April 10, 2001

April 10, #2. Tables fuck everything up:

Resica

Falls
Mitigwa,

Staff**
Mitigwa

Area Director**
Weeks:
10
10
10
Hourly

Pay
$.56#
$1.83*
$2.75*
Total

Pay/Day
$13.57^
$28.49*
$42.81*
Total

Pay/Week
$95
$200*
$300*
Total

Pay/Season
$1,200

w Bonus^
$2,000

w/o Bonus*
$3,000

w/o Bonus*

* Mitigwa’s pay is estimates based on what I know about their pay schedule

and what they quoted me on the phone. Hourly pay figured on last years contract

quoted 109 hrs/wk.

** The reason there’s two numbers for Mitigwa is that they gave me the option

of two jobs. One as a staff member and one as an Area Director (the higher

paid one). They said that I would most likely get the Area Director, but if

they don’t get my application in on time I would just be a staff member.

^ These are figures quoted in the contract as the daily and seasonal pay.

Total Pay/Season w/o Bonus $1,000.

# I used the contract to find the nubmer of hours per week worked (148 hrs/wk)

and figured back to the hourly pay and the weekly pay.

April 10, 2001

april 10. today’s pretty shitty too. yeah, life sucks at the moment. i need

out of here. i should be studying for that test in government that’s over

300 pages in the book, but i really don’t want to. i’ve got a test in accounting

on tues, the day after we get back, the bastards. oh well it’s earlier then

normal so it shouldn’t inturupt to much. i went jogging last night and i think

i pulled something, i’m in so much fucking pain right now. my asthma was really

acting up last night to. i should get that looked into. i did once, a long

time ago, but i never took the meds, cause it didn’t bother me any, but now

it’s starting to get pretty bad. i didn’t even make a quarter mile before

i had to stop and rest. i dunno. i need to do alot of things, but i never

get them done. i talked to j

again last night. he’s pretty cool i guess. i think he’s pretty closed minded

then, he didn’t really want to classify himself though, so yeah. i dunno.

i was going to actually talk to him this morning, but i haven’t seen him all

day. i really want to talk to danny though. as julian

put is "much boy confusion." at the moment. crosswinds really needs

to get fixed soon this is pissing me off. i have so much to do right now.

i officially sent in my rejection of the job offer yesterday, it was really

hard for me to do it. my parents are just bieng such ass holes about it all

and stuff. it’s like. they were all supportive about my wanting to take the

offer and go work out there, but then i got that other offer there at mitigwa,

and they told my G&G about it, and my grandma is just nuts about her precious

little grandchildren leaving the state. and yeah, i think she’s behind most

of it, but i don’t know, as long as if i get into college out there, they

let me go, that’s what i really want. "Current Status: Your application

has been received and is being reviewed. Thank you for applying to Penn State."

yeah, it’s been received, they better get back to me damn soon though, or

i’m going to be pissed cause i have to get all that shit filled out and soon.

i also have to do the whole housing crap and yeah, man i got so much to do

right now. it’s tuesday.

April 9, 2001

april 9, #2, so danny called tonight, just for like a couple mibnutes, it

was so good to hear his voice. i love his voice. but you know what really

sucks about this whole thing, it’s that saturday, this saturday is our 5 month

anniversiary and we won’t be talking. we’ll be apart on our 5 month ann. this

really sucks. damnit. right now i need him in my life more then ever, everything

is just ripping me apart from the inside. i don’t want to go home this weekend,

i really really don’t, damnit. i want him to be here, right now i need him,

but he’s not here. i wish he were more open about things to. someitmes i just

feel like he’s down, but he doesn’t talk about it. i wish he would talk to

me about some of these things, i love him, i want to be there for him when

he needs me, and i wish he were he where i need him. and i need him now. but

he’s not here. i’m so sad right now. i just want to cry.<

April 9, 2001

april 9. so it’s almost noon here, and it’s just a plain sucky ass day. i

miss danny so much already. damnit. i talked to him about that thing yesterday.

and he said that we should take some time apart. i don’t really agree with

that. i dunno. i wrote him a letter yesterday. it was damn long. i didn’t

sleep at alll last night. this sucks so much. it’s just like, everything is

just ripping me apart. i can’t stand it. i really didn’t want to get out of

bed this morning. i just wanted to lay there and think about him. damnit.

i dunno. i’ve got 5 more weeks here, only 5 weeks left. then i’ll be home

for 3 weeks, then i’m gone for the rest of the summer. it’s going to suck

so much. damnit.

April 8, 2001

april 8, #4. so i’m talking to danny right now, yeah, i dunno, he just seems

so, i guess out of it. it feels kidna like we’re falling apart or something,

i dunno. putting this here’s not going to fix the problem, but i just needed

some where to think about it. we’ve just kinda fallen into a grove and yeah,

i mean. i still love him, i think about him when he’s not here, and i worry

about him when he seems down. but it’s just i dunno, maybe it’s that were

not an everyday part of each others lives, we’re not there to be with each

other, or something. i wish so badly that we could be together, but i know

that we can’t be, at least not now. sometimes i just wanna cry. I’m going

to go now.