Aug 28, 2001

Aug 28, [Bon Jovi, "I’ll Be There For You"]

Well today has been one long ass day. I got up this morning at 6:30 and

left here for class at 7:30. I went to class, Acct 285, that was boring

as hell. Lots of hot guys in there, well actually there’s lots of hot guys

in all my classes. But yeah, then after that I went to Bus Ad 101, I have

to go get a book for that tomorrow. I hope I remember that. Then I went

to Krell to work. I should have a new e-mail there. It’ll be like black@krellinst.org

or something like that. I dunno yet. They haven’t taught me how to use the

system. I worked there tell 5, when I came back here and talked to Adam

a bit online. He’s really not doing good and I feel so bad for him. I wish

I could be there. But I can’t we’ll see what happens. I know in time things

will get better, but right now he needs people to be with him. Everything

reminds him of Angie, and that’s hard. It really is. The small things even

make him cry, and that’s hard for me to hear. I know how much it hurts him

to have her gone. And there’s really nothing I can do to help that. I really

wish there were more that I could do.

After I talked to Adam I went to my last class for the day. It’s Micro-Econ.

It’s going to be boring the frist couple weeks cause the first 5 chapters

between Macro and Mirco are the same thing. The prof is pretty young, and

he moves at a pretty fast pace. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep that

up all semester.

Now I’m back here, it’s almost 8. I tried calling Adam cause I wanted to

talk to him, but he wasn’t home. I’l try there again later. Dean called

me and left a message on my cell phone, he’s at the Madonna Concert and

he’s pretty excited. lol. I didn’t get anything to eat yet today, so I’m

going to go and try to find something here soon. I don’t really know where

on campus you can get food after the food service closes. I really dislike

that. At DSU you could go in and order anything any time of the day, that

was really cool cause if you missed a meal you didn’t have to go off campus

to find something. Here you can’t do that, or as I’m told. I’ll have to

find something to do in that aspect of things, cause I’m going to miss alot

of meals.

Tomorrow should be a pretty easy day. I’ve only got two classes. We’ll

see though.

Aug 27, 2001 #2

Aug 27, #2 [BBMak, "Back Here"]

Ok so my Math 150 teacher is Russian, he has some funky ass name: Petr

Vojtechovsky. How in the hell do you pronounce that. It should be an interesting

semester with him, he seems amusing so far. They fucked up my schedule though,

this class isn’t supposed to have recitation with it, but it does, and the

recitation is the same time as my Lib 160 class, which I only have to go

to the first one for, but still, and I’m also supposed to be working at

that time. So in otherwords, I’m supposed to be in 3 places at once, so

I don’t know how that’ll work out.

My mechanic called my house today. I called them, and they said he was

at lunch and that he would call me back around 1:15. Well I waited here

tell 1:30 when I had to leave for a class and he still hadn’t called me

back. When I got back at 3 I called again, and they said he was in a meeting.

They took my phone number this time, and said he would call back in the

next hour or so. It’s been an hour and still nothing. Grrr. I’m never taking

my car back to them, and by the way, it’s Westside Auto Pros. Don’t go there.

I found out that we have call waiting here which will be cool, cause well

it’s call waiting.

I still don’t want to be here. I really don’t. I talked to Adam for a bit

today on-line. It seems he’s still having problems with the days as well.

Grrr. Hopefully things will get better though. Hopefully.

Horroscopes Lie: Aquarius is coming into an exciting

time of the month. Spirits and energy run high for the next few days, which

is a welcome change to the mood you’ve been experiencing. It’s fun to be

around people in love for once, especially if you’re one of them. During

this period of bliss, it’s important to remember that everyone comes from

a common ancestry. There are no enemies, aliens or even strangers. Your

motto for tonight should be ‘live and let live.’

My roomie just talked to me about my being gay, he said that he was cool

that I was open and honest about things and all that jazz, but that nothing

could happen in this room, which isn’t really a big deal since well, I’m

stilla virgin and I plan on staying that way for a while at least, well

maybe not that long, but long enough, hehe.

Aug 27, 2001

Aug 27, [REM, "Drive"]

Well, it’s the first day of school for me, and another spot of depression

is starting to hit pretty hard. I miss not being around to go out with people.

I miss it so badly. I don’t see how PU’s can get into the routine of everyday

suburban life. I just could never do it. I’m not the most social person

in the world, but I still like going out, I like knowing that there’s always

someone I can call and say "Hey, lets go do such and such." But

right now I can’t do that because well, I don’t know anyone around campus.

Last night I didn’t sleep at all. I went to bed about 9:30 or so, and tried

to sleep, but I just couldn’t. I know things will get better, but right

now, things aren’t going good at all.

My first class of the new school year was cancelled, I don’t know if that’s

a good sign or a bad one, but whatever. I went to the Armory and got my

van registered and moved into a parking lot that I can park in. That took

me almost an hour and a half. Then after that I went and hung out infront

of Curtiss hall and watched the hot guys go by, and were there ever a ton

of them.

Vero and I went to Soc 134 together, we went in and sat down, and we were

talking about how we didn’t know anyone in the auditorium and then the person

in front of us turns around and says, "Hey I know you." It was

Jen Parsons (sp?) that was amusing, we also saw Nick Harris in there too,

he sat like a row down from us, so we didn’t talk to him, but he’s there.

The Prof for that class seems to be an ass, so I don’t know how the year

will go for that. We’ll see.

I want to see people, mostly Adam and Angie, but other people as well.

I’m having withdrawls from the group. Angie called last night, that was

cool to talk to her. We talked a bit about various things and other such

stuff. It was good to hear her voice again. I can’t wait tell Friday, it’s

a three day weekend. 🙂

Aug 26, 2001 #2

Aug 26, #2 [Steve Miller, "Wild Mountian Honey"]

I’m so depressed right now, and I so don’t want to be here at all. I talked

to Adam today which was good, but he had some great stories to tell. I wish

I could have heard them from him rather then read them from him. But you

know what I mean. This evening Julian, Vero, and some other random person

that Vero worked with came and we all went out to supper to some Chinese

resuarant place. It was good, then we went and walked around. I got a damn

fucking bad headache now and I feel sick. I don’t want to be here at all.

Here I go again, I promised myself I wouldn’t think of you

today

It’s been seven months and counting

You’ve moved on

I still feel exactly the same

It’s just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name

Like photographs and memories of love

Steel and granite reminders

The city calls your name and I can’t move on

-Savage Garden, "The Lover After Me"

Aug 26, 2001

Aug 26, [Garbage, "Crush"]

So the last couple days have been emotional crazies. Yesterday Adam, Mandy

and I went over to Angie’s house to see her off. Well, her plane was delayed

about an hour, so we hung around there for a while, and we wanted to talk

to her personally, but we didn’t get a chance to cause Angie’s mom was being

a bitch. Well, we went to the airport and we hung out, everyone was being

really well composed there. We found out that Angie’s plane had been delayed

another hour or so. Well it finally landed about 2 or so, and we got everything

loaded, and all that and Angie was on the plane. We had all said our goodbyes

and stuff. Adam gave Angie his necklace, I’m sure meant alot to her, it

was very sweet of him to do that. Well it wasn’t until the engines were

started that people started to break down and cry. I wanted to just let

the tears gush, but I didn’t I held them back. Adam was crying really badly,

and I knew what he was going though. I wish Angie’s PU’s hadn’t been there

cause well then I could have hugged him and such. I know that when I’m in

a mood like that I like to just have someone there that will hug me or hold

me. But I didn’t I hugged him a couple times that was nice, it made me feel

better. After her plane was moving we left and Mandy took us back to Angie’s

house so we could get Adam’s car. From there we went back to Adam’s house

and hung out and cleaned his room.

After we were done with his room we went back to my house and I packed

some. We talked alot there about coming out and how people percieve bi-sexuality.

It was a nice talk. After we were done there we went ovet to me Aunts house

and met my grandma and we hung out there for a while and talked. We left

there and went back to PC on the way there Julian called and wanted to hang

out, so he came over to my house. When he got there we went to Best Buy

to get him a modem that worked with Linux. That was fun times. After we

went to Best Buy we went over to Comp USA. There was this song that made

Adam think of Angie and he started getting sad, this was in the check out

line. Well I gave Adam a hug and the lady at the desk said "Ahhh, isn’t

that sweet." Then Adam felt the need to give the lady a hug and the

guy standing next to her, that was amusing.

After that we went back to PC to get Mandy. We got Mandy and went to her

house, her dad was home, that was just odd, he felt the need to show us

his bullets. Hmmmm. We left quickly. We went to Ames after that. That was

amusing, we all talked about random things and other such stuff. It was

mostly good times.

Today I moved, it sucked. Grrr fucking PU’s. I won’t go into that though,

maybe later.

This is why I do daily updates, cause I have to much to post if I do more

then one day in an update. I know I’m fogetting alot of the things that

happened to me in the last 48 hours. Maybe I’ll add another update later.