Aug 22, 2001 #2

Aug 22, #2 [Heather Small, "Holding On"]

I went over to Adam’s tonight. I’m really worried about him. I know he’s

not going to do anything drastic, but he’s been depressed lately, and that

worries me. I dunno. We talked today about things, it was good to hear him

get his feelings out. I had known that he had feelings for people for a

while now, but I never knew how deep those feelings were until today. I’m

glad that he can talk to me about these things, even though I did kinda

have to drag it out of him. He siad he didn’t want me to get mad at him

cause of his feelings. I feel bad knowning that he’d think I would get mad

at him for that. I love him to death as a friend and I would never get mad

at him for something like that. I want him to feel like he can come to me

and talk to me about anything and everything. Now, I admit a couple weeks

ago, I would have gotten mad at him for what he told me tonight, but I thought

that lately we had shared so much he would have known that I wouldn’t. It’s

ok though. I’m really glad that we’ve had the time to share things that

we have, and that we’ve learned so much about each other. There’s just really

no way to put to words what I want to say about him. There really isn’t.

I’m soooo glad I met Adam this summer. I really really am.

Aug 22, 2001

Aug 22, [Train, "it’s About You"]

I’ve got a job, well that is if I take it. I went into Krell today and

she was like, "Well you have the job, but lets talk." Ok so she

didn’t say exactly that, but that’s close to what she said, so we talked

for a bit about what I’ve done before and what programming I know and other

general stuff, it’s going to be cool working there. Then she went and showed

me my office and I talked to Barb for a bit. It was cool. I’ll be making

$10 an hour to start and 10 hours a week. Then they increase / decrease

your pay and hours based on how good your grades are. I should do pretty

well with that. I have to call them back sometime and tell them that I’ll

take it. I didn’t take it right on the spot cause I haven’t told my parents

that I applied there yet.

I also stopped into NP today and populated the school with HRC stickers,

you know the little "=" ones, I gave one to Mrs. C, Mr. C, Mr.

C, Mr. Fjelland, Mr. Reece, I gave the secretarys one and Paula took a couple.

I also gave a bunch to Ramsey and Neil to hand out to people. Mr. C is also

going to put up a poster about the GRLC for me. Good times there.

Well that’s about all that’s happened here today, I’m going to go over

and hang out with Adam now. Laters all.

Aug 21, 2001

Aug 21, [Savage Garden, "The Lover After Me"]

Ok well today’s been really cool. I went into NP again this morning and

worked on some stuff, it was good times there. Lots of fun. I got Ramsey

(Who’s really cute by the way) to post my name and shit on the Alumni Page.

(I was going to put a link to the page and a link to a pic of Ramsey, but

it appears that Kahoutek is dead.) He

also put a link to this page, hehe. It’s cool. I left there about 2 and

went to Angie’s house. We hung out there for a little bit then left for

the GLRC. It was fun times there, we watched "What Makes A Family."

It’s a really good movie, but it’s really sad. I cried.

We left there and went back to Ankeny cause we were going to go to Java

Joes with Angie’s neighbor, but she couldn’t so Mandy, Angie and I went

to Village Inn and had supper. After that we went down to Java Joes and

hung out there. Matt and Josh from RENT (Both really fucking hot) were playing

there tonight, so we hung out tell 10 when they started. They’re really

good. I found out tonight that RENT tickets for when they’re in Ames in

Oct. are on sale now, so we’ll all have to get some here soon, cause I realy

fucking want to see it.

Adam had to leave there a bit before 11 and I had some stuff to give him,

so we walked back to his car, and I gave him the tins that my Curve came

in, I also gave him a little travel thing of it, cause I knew he wanted

it. We hugged there and I so didn’t want to let him go. For me it feels

like I’m going half way across the country. I know it’s only to Ames, less

then an hour away, but I know that once I get up there, I won’t be able

to come back that often, or to hang out with him everyday. And that’s going

to be really sad. I so don’t want to leave. I really don’t. I got a kiss

from him tonight, which surprised me, but I was happy. I got teary. Sometimes

I wish that we could give a relationship another shot, but I know it probably

wouldn’t work. I’d like to try it, but it’s best that we don’t. And I also

don’t think he’s ready for a relationship. Angie said today that she thought

he needed to get a GF or BF to get his mind off things, and I personally

don’t think he’s ready. Not just cause I still want him, but because I really

don’t think he’s ready. Whatever. We’re really close friends now, and right

now I’m enjoying that more then anything. I love being his friend. And I

love him dearly as a friend.

Julian‘s website works again. I

was bored last night and wanted to see if he had posted anything new so

I got on there and fixed it for him. Cause well I wanted something to read.

That blue background isn’t the most interesting thing to look at.

I have an interview tomorrow in Ames at Krell

I found out today that Omar (Ramsey’s brother, who’s also really cute) has

his own office there. I think that’d be bloody fucking cool. I hope I get

the job there, I could do it.

Aug 20, 2001

Aug 20, [Tonic, "Mountian"]

Today’s just been awsome. I went into NP this morning at 8 or so, I was

told there’d be people there to get me into things since they chnaged the

root passwords and hadn’t told me the new ones yet. So I got there, and

no one was there, so I just hung around and got some tunes going and stuff

and did small things. They finally got there about 9:30 or 10. We got some

stuff done, but still couldn’t get SMTP to accept connections so I have

to go in tomorrow to work on that some more. I was supposed to be doing

research on that today, but never got around to it. I’ll just call Barb

tomorrow and have her tell me how to fix it, that’s the best way to do it.

About 11 I went over to Angie’s and had lunch with her. After lunch we

just hung out at her house and packed. We hung out there and had good time.

Adam came over after school and we did random things. We went to Wal-Mart

and Angie dropped off her film, then Nina called and Angie went into work.

Grrr about that. After Angie left Adam and I went back to his house and

worked on his website, that was ammusing as hell cause well. His mom soooooooooo

knows about him. Hehe. After that I went over to Xak’s and hung out with

Angie, Mandy and Xak. It as good times, even though I was sleeping most

of the time I was there. Oh well.

Adam and I talked a bit about how things are going. Things aren’t good

for him, or me really. I mean not in the sence of things between us. Because

our relationship as friends is so great right now. But things in general

are going bad for the both of us. Leaving, school starting, summer ending.

It’s all just bad right now.

Aug 19, 2001 #2

Aug 19, #2 [Faith Hill, "The Way You Love Me"]

This has been a summer of firsts for me. It’s hard for me to let this summer

go. I’ll always remember it. This summer so many things have happened to

me, things that I’ve enjoyed, things that I’ve hated, things that broke

my heart and things that have expanded my personality. I’ve had so much

fun this summer, and now it’s over. It’s over. I can’t believe how fast

this summer has passed and how much has happened to me. How many things

I’ve learned and the way’s I’ve learned them.

Today Adam and I went out to Saylorville again. Out by the soccer fields

here in PC and just hung out and talked and walked. We didn’t talk about

anything really, just babble. The last 4 days I’ve spent more one on one

time with Adam then we did during our entire relationship. I’ve really enjoyed

it. I wish that we would have had this personal time during our relationship,

but I think we’re so much closer now then we ever have been. I’m really

happy about that.

I’m so sad right now though about school starting, especially his school

starting so early. I’m going to miss being around him so much once school

starts, and once Angie leaves it’s just going to be bad. I can tell now

I’m going to be crying so bad when she leaves, And I know that once I find

out when I’m leaving, the night before that is going to be tough too. Saying

bye to Adam for the last time, I know it’ll probably only be a few weeks,

and that we’re only a few miles apart, but I’m going to miss him so much.

School will take my mind off alot of it, but having spent so much time together.

It’s going to be tough times for a while I think.