Aug 24, 2001

Aug 24, [Me First And The Gimme Gimmes, "I Would Walk 500 Miles"]

So tonight has just really fucking sucked. I went over to Adam’s and we

did the whole hair cut thing and then we went out to supper and we had fun.

About 7 we went over to Angie’s. It was me, Adam, Xak, and Angie. We were

all going to go downstairs and watch a movie, talk and that such stuff and

get things out that needed to be said before she left so that we would all

leave on a good note. Well her PU’s decided that they wanted to watch it

with us, so we all had to stay upstairs and watch it, which meant no talking

about things, no cuddling, no nothing. It sucked ass. Then as soon as the

movie was done, Angie’s mom thought that Angie needed to go to bed so that

she’d be ready to go in the morning. So we pretty much got kicked out of

there at 10. That really sucked cause we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye

like we all wanted too, we didn’t get the chance to talk after the movie,

nothing. I *_HATE_* Angie’s mom. Grrr. So we were saying bye at the door,

and Angie and I were hugging and I just starting crying, I couldn’t hold

them back any longer. I’d been holding them back for a while now, but I

just couldn’t hold them anymore.

Adam and I then left to go to downtown, well we stopped into Hy-Vee first

and Kenny G talked to Adam about something, apparently Kenny found Adam’s

website, which isn’t good. But whatever. We were there for a while and talked

to random people. Then we left and were going downtown, well tonight’s been

one of those foggy hazy type nights and you can’t see the top of 801 Grand,

all you could see was the light blinking in the coulds. Well Adam pointed

that out and that brought a story to my mind about one of my Great Grandma’s

and how when she was in the hospital along time ago when they were building

that, and one night I was in her room and it was like it is tonight and

she pointed it out and said, "Look, that’s the Angels coming to get

me." I couldn’t even get the whole story out before I broke into a

full bawling. I was like, omg what’s happened to me, I don’t cry. I don’t

let people see my cry. But I just couldn’t hold it back anymore, I just

couldn’t. Tonight’s sucked

We went to Java Joe’s. I met that Ryan guy and I got a hug, that was nice.

We also talked to some Ben guy. He’s damn hot. But apparently Str8. I say

other wise. Adam, Tara, and I walked around downtown for a while and talked.

I felt better which is good. Hopefully tomorrow won’t be as bad, but I know

it will be. I’m going to go do some more packing now cause well, I think

I’m going to move up tomorrow (errr, today now) but I’m not sure yet.

Aug 23, 2001 #2

Aug 23, #2, [No Doubt, "I’m Just A Girl"]

There’s so much to do and so little time to do it all in. I’ve started

packing shit, but it’s hard to get it packed when I still need it all. So

I have most of it arranged to be packed. I’m thinking we’ll move up either

Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon. I’d rather do it Saturday, but at

the same time I want to spend as much time as I can with Adam. It’s getting

down to the wire, and right now I’m really starting to stress about things.

Grrr. I talked to my dad today about transportation cause well, the nearest

Cyride stop to Krell is like a mile away, so I talked to him about me borrowing

th van tell my car gets fixed (which should be about a week if all goes

well and they call me today with good news, but if it’s bad news it’ll be

a lot longer) he pretty much just laughed at me. I probably won’t get to

take the van, which is a problem since I’m supposed to start work at Krell

on Tuesday. I dunno. It’s funky. Here’s

my schedule for this year so far, I’ll update it when I get more information

about things, but that’s what it’s like so far. I’m just stressed as hell.

I can’t wait tell 3 to go over to Adam’s. I’m really looking forward to

seeing him today cause when I’m with him, all my problems just go away.

But tonight’s going to be really sad. I’m not lookng forward to later tonight

at Angie’s. We’ll see how things go.

Aug 23, 2001

Aug 23, [Goldfinger, "Smiling"]

OK so today’s been full of funny ass storys. First we’ll start the morning

off, my mom and I went to orientation at ISU. We were there in the Sun Room

waiting for the presintation to start and there was this really hot guy

that walked past and I thought to myself "HIYA!" you all know

how I say it. Well my mom says to me, "He’s pretty cute." And

I was like, OMG I can’t believe my mom just said that to me. OMG. He was

a skater so he has his board with him and my mom was like, "Well I

guess some boys just enver grow up." And that sparked a little convo

about skaters and such. It was funny. Then later we were at McDonalds and

she had ordered a Happy Meal. Well they have to ask you what kind of toy

she wanted and we couldn’t understand what the woman was saying, so my mom

just says, "I want a Boy Toy." I started laughing and she was

just like, "What." And I said, "You know how bad that sounds."

She was like, "Yeah." You know I write stories the same way I

tell them. But yeah, so next time I’m at McDonalds, I’m going to do that.

hehe. Then later we were getting my room key and such, and I saw Aaron Lenz,

and Robert Shumaker, they’re rooming together in the same building that

I’m in. YEAH! You have no IDEA how HOT they are.

Tonight was totally different. I went over to Angie’s about 5 or so and

watched her fiunish packing, Mandy was there too. It was cool. Then Mandy

and I went out to supper while Angie ate with her family and washed her

hair. After we were finished with supper we went over to Adam’s where Angie

was getting her hair permed (Is that the right spelling for this use of

the word?) We hung out with Adam, Abbie (Is that how she spells it?), Melinda,

Mandy, Angie, and Me. It was great times. Yeah. If Adam’s mom didn’t know

before tonight about him, she knows now. Hehe. lol. Oh well, tonight was

great, and I hope we have the same amount of fun tomorrow night. It’s Angie’s

last night in Iowa for like 4 months and it’s going to suck. I’m so sad

about that right now. I don’t want her to leave. And what hurts the most

is that it’s making Adam so depressed too. Usually when someone leaves,

it’s like, "Bye, see you in a while." But this time, it’s really

hurting someone that I care for deeply. And that makes me even more sad.

I probably shouldn’t be putting this here cause then Adam will feel bad

that I feel bad, and yeah, it’ll go round in circles, but I’m not going

to censor what I put here because of something like that. But yeah, that’s

the way the world works. And life sucks sometimes.

I’m all jazed about moving to school now, well I kinda am. I’m not ready

for classes to start, but I’m ready to move up there. I think this year

should be pretty cool. I just hope my roomie isn’t a homophobe (Why does

nothing look right tonight?). I’m going to go start packing now. Night all.

Aug 22, 2001 #2

Aug 22, #2 [Heather Small, "Holding On"]

I went over to Adam’s tonight. I’m really worried about him. I know he’s

not going to do anything drastic, but he’s been depressed lately, and that

worries me. I dunno. We talked today about things, it was good to hear him

get his feelings out. I had known that he had feelings for people for a

while now, but I never knew how deep those feelings were until today. I’m

glad that he can talk to me about these things, even though I did kinda

have to drag it out of him. He siad he didn’t want me to get mad at him

cause of his feelings. I feel bad knowning that he’d think I would get mad

at him for that. I love him to death as a friend and I would never get mad

at him for something like that. I want him to feel like he can come to me

and talk to me about anything and everything. Now, I admit a couple weeks

ago, I would have gotten mad at him for what he told me tonight, but I thought

that lately we had shared so much he would have known that I wouldn’t. It’s

ok though. I’m really glad that we’ve had the time to share things that

we have, and that we’ve learned so much about each other. There’s just really

no way to put to words what I want to say about him. There really isn’t.

I’m soooo glad I met Adam this summer. I really really am.