July 8, 2001

July 8, [lifehouse, "unknown"] ok well today had just been wierd.

well i went to work at 3 like i was supposed to, and the afternoon went normal,

nothing really happened there. but then tonight about 10 after karen the manager

left, we started having problems. there’d been this kid in there for like

2 hours talking on the phone, and he finally left, but then a short biut after

he left a lady came in and said there was a kid in the parking lot with a

gun. and we were like ohhhhh shit, so we locked the store down and shit and

called the cops. well like 3 showed up and one DNR guy. there was a gun, but

it was just a pellet gun, so it was good. i saw it when they took it off the

kid and i was like, omg. it really did look real. they took care of that shit

and left. but then shortly after they left this other guy came in. he’d been

in there all day and had just left when the cops started showing up. but he’s

in there all the time. but yeah ok well the lady that was working was like,

i don’t want to be left here alone with that guy and i was like, neither do

i. so i stayed and we called the cops on him to have him removed cause we

had talked to dustin the local cop before he left about him being in there

cause he was there for a LONG time today. but the shierff showed up and they

hung out there tell dustin got done processing that kid with the gun. and

then dustin came back and i don’t really know what happened, but i’m guessin

he just gave him a ticket or something, but he got him out of there. so yeah,

fun and excitment at kum and go. by the time i got out of there it wa too

late to go out, so i was just like, alright, i’m stayin here, so i called

vero and told them. i wanted to go out tonight. i was really in a mood to

go with people, but by the time i got out of kum and go and got home to change

it would have been 12 already and yeah, that would of only given me like 30

minutes before people would have started wanting to go home. so yeah. that’s

the story for tonight. dean and i talked for a bit too. hehe we were talking

about the whole july 15th road trip and i guess he asked jules if he wanted

to stay and dean’s apartment and he was asking me if adam and i wanted to

stay too, and i’m cool with it, but we’ll have to run it past adma’s parents

too. that could be a bit of a problem, but it would be a good place for us

all to watch movies, you know QaF. cause we could borrow jules DVD player

and stuff. yeah. i think this road trip will be really fun shit. ok i’m relaly

tired so i’m going to head to bed, night all

July 7, 2001 #2

july 7, #2 [bee gee’s, "you should be dancing"] ok so for those

of you that have been wondering what my family looks like, well here we go:

first a picture of just me, then

a picture of my parents and my brother, and here’s

two different pictures of the black

side of the family, and

here’s a picture of all the great grandchildren and our great grandma,

also known as GG. ok well that’s all that i have for now, laters all

July 7, 2001

july 7,[cherry poppin’ daddies, "ding-dong daddy"] ok well tonight’s

and today have just been complete opposites, but overall today has been sooooooooo

great. ok well this morning i

was in my room laying on the floor playing with my cat, my dad comes bursting

into my room and yells at me "get those damn magazines out of here so

andy can’t find them" and i said to him "well teach him not to search

through other peoples things and he won’t find them" and my dad said,

"well that’s not the problem" and i just wanted to scream at him

that that was the problem. and that my being gay isn’t the problem. they don’t

go to my brother and tell him he has to get rid of all the mags that he has

that have heterosexual things, cause what if i find them, i might get ideas

and all you know. but yeah, he ended with saying "if you don’t take care

of them i will" which means he’ll throw them away. i hid them under my

bed, they should be safe there. so yeah, bad vibes from my parents today.

this afternoon though i went out swimming and mandy showed up at my house,

she wanted me to come into work and i was like, well why the hell doesn’t

the manager come in and work, she’s the one that has to cover if someone doesn’t

show up. but mandy kept being persistant and i was like, well she caught me

in the pool. so it’s not like i can lie to her and say i’m busy. and she was

acting like it was damn busy there and they needed the help desperately. so

i got out, went inside to dress and while i was dressing my grandma got here,

so i talked to her a bit. and such. then i went to work, i get there and there’s

three employees standing there doing nothing and i was like, ok please tell

me it’s just a lule and it’s been really busy today. and they were like no,

it’s been like this all day and i was like, god damnit, why the fuck did you

come and get my from my house on my day off when you had enough people already

fucking working. damnit. grrr. i was just pissed about that. but i got 13

hours of over time now, so i guess that’s okey. then after work i called adam

and he came over and went swimming. we talked, it was good times. then we

came in and watched a movie. my mom was still up when we started the movie.

and adam and i were sitting very close and holding hands, so yeah i would

hope that she knows that we are a couple. hehe. then she left and by the end

of the movie i was laying in adam’s lap and he had his hand on my chest. it

was soooooo great. i was like in heaven. i was soooooo happy. i really like

adam. i do 🙂 it’s like yeah, the first time someone’s ever touched me like

that, you know, someone that likes me, and yeah. ok ya know, now that i know

that he’s going to read this, i feel as though i can’t relaly write it here. i dunno, it’s wierd, i’m still going to write my feelings here, but it’s wierd

knowing that he knows what i’m thinking, i dunno. i’m leaving before i dig

an even bigger hole, night all

July 6, 2001

july 6 [van halen, "can’t stop lovin’ you"] ok well tonight’s been

really cool. i went and hung out with jules and adam all day, we went and

did random things. yeah it was cool, then we came back to my house and spent

the time doing random journal things for adam, installing win2k on jules computer,

and yeah, just things. i have pictures of adam now, but i told him i wouldn’t

put those up for the public yet, cause he wants to do some touch up on them,

i think he’s cute in them, but he doesn’t like them, but then who does like

thier own pictures? so yeah. that was all good times. then adam and i talked

for a bit about this person that’s been e-mailing me and shit, and yeah. that

was good too. i really want to spend some time with just him, so we can talk

about stuff and like where we want to go with things, and also just to learn

about him, i don’t feel as though i really know him, but then i don’t and

i’d like some time to just get to know him. i’ve been kinda pushing him to

just like spend the night at my house and stuff cause i find people really

open up when they sleep out, have you ever had that, where you sleep in a

tent and you just really open up to the person you’re there with. yeah i know

that you’re all giving me strange looks, but try it. it works. it really does.

ok well i’m going to bed now cause i have to be up soon. night all

July 5, 2001

july 5, [bbmak, "just another day"] ok well today’s been weird.

it’s 2:30 am and i’m just now getting home. i worked today, it sucked. there’s

this little bitchy thing, her names kirsta, and she thinks she owns the store,

someone needs to slap her and put her in her place, which i did tonight. he’s

only 14, which means she can’t sell beer or smokes, she can’t cook pizza,

she’s too fucking short to reach all of the cooler, she’s useless. and tonight

she was trying to fucking tell me how to do my job, so i just got bitchy back

at her and made her doo all kinds of shit. so yeah. grrr at her. but then

after work was great. i came home and changed and xak was like "i’m bored"

so i went over there and picked him up, then we went off to the loop. we got

there adam wasn’t there yet, so we just hung around, we had gone to java joes

and got drinks and brought them to the loop, well we were walking along and

we had just got to this group of people that were all drinking. well all of

a sudden this firework type thing went off in the street and it went flying

past us, so we turned around to see where it went and there was this cop car

right behind us and that firework thing blew up right in front of the cop

car. well the cops stopped and started yelling at the people for drinking.

and we were like, ummmm, yeah. so we walked the other way, cause our drinks

were in plastic cups and stuff, so yeah. that wasn’t good. but then adam and

julian and other people showed up. we hung out for a while, you know, just

random talking and shit. it was good times, it was nice to see julian again,

i hadn’t seen him in a couple days. so yeah. good times. then on the way home

adam and i were talking, and well there’s been this girl from ankeny e-mailing

me and shit. and she’s been like, well i know adam and yeah. well we were

talking and adam fessed up to knowing about my website and reading it and

shit, so yeah. that’s all cool. but now in the afterthoughts i’m like, well

hmmm. i wonder if reading this had influenced his decisions in any way, but

yeah. other then that it’s all cool. i don’t really mind it. danny read (is

that past tense?) it and he still reads it. so it’s all cool. yeah. all cool.

but then i dropped adam off at his house and we hugged. you know the other

night ryan hugged me, the guy that really liked adam,oh i don’t think i’ce

told that story, well maybe later, but ok, well ryan hiugged me and i turned

around and i’m like, ya know, i’m not a touchy feely person. and yeah, but

adam was standing there, and it wasn’t reallydirected at anyone, but ya know,

random people that i don’t know and don’t really like all that much huggin

me is just a no-no. but i think that comment gave adam the wrong impression.

if i like the person i’ll hug them and shit. but yeah. that’s something else.

and then on my way home i stopped into K&G and talked to nic for a while,

luke rolfes was there, and we talked, it was cool. i mentioned my bo friend

and then i was like, opps i bet luke didn’t know i was gay, so i hope he’s

cool with it, he seemed fine, but yeah, it was like, ok. opps. yeah it was

funny talking to nic, we just bitched about work. it was really funny. ok

well i’m bloody tired, i’m going to bed now. night all.