Ok I just went and read Chris’ thing about the gut feeling.

I am feeling pretty pissed.

Apparently he got annoyed b/c I didn’t come up after hanging out w/ Court and Ann H. The reason it makes me mad is b/c 1. If you think someone might do something sweet, and then they don’t that is no reason to get mad. If I was hoping that Chris might one day come with flowers or a card or surprise me at work or something and then he didn’t, I wouldn’t be mad about it, b/c it was never concrete, just all in my head. AND I didn’t even get back to my car till almost 10. I would’ve gotten to Ames at 11, and gone straight to bed b/c I would’ve had to wake up early and go to work. So I would’ve just wasted my gas and money, I wouldn’t even of gotten to talk to Chris.

He’s been not himself recently and it’s starting to bother me. He’s being very vague about a lot of things and seems very unwilling to talk about anything. I don’t know what’s going to happen if the communication lines don’t start opening up soon. He says on his journal that there are other things that have been annoying him lately, but of course he doesn’t tell me waht they are. When things are bothering me, he always makes me tell him and we work it out. But now that he’s annoyed about something, I don’t get the right to know. Whatever.

I’m just mad.

Ok here is a private update, though it won’t be too good of one. The only thing I really have to update about is that Chris and I made love again.

It was really nice. It happened early Sunday morning. I said I wanted to, and he had brought along condoms and lube, so we did. I felt a lot better doing it with the condom, it just set my mind at ease, so that was good. It was a lot sweatier than last time lol. I was really hot, and we did it for a pretty long time. Hopefully it was enjoyable for him, it was good for me. Eventually we came and that was done, and we went and definitely showered b/c we were both uber sweaty and gross. But, it was very nice to share that with him again 🙂 Happy!

He spent the night last night. That was good, except I feel bad that he drove all the way here for us to be with each other for like 3 hours and then go to bed. Plus, he got mad about the whole Courtney thing. Which is understandable but he takes it way too personally. But it doesn’t really matter, I don’t really need people fighting right now. But he did say that he wanted to call Courtney and have her help him organize everyone to say goodbye to me type thing. And I feel bad that now he won’t… especially b/c that would’ve been an UBER sweet surprise and I would’ve just died!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But oh well I guess. I’m sure things will work out. Other than that, not much going on. He left early this morning to go to work, and now Im just killing the next hour until I go.

Mental note: I think tonight I want to have the what’s happening next year talk. Mainly b/c I don’t want to put it off until we actually go on the trip b/c then there could be negative feelings and I want the trip we have to be uber fun and really special. So taht’s that.

Off to play some video games and eat… IM STARVING!

Lots To Do.

So here it is Thursday and I finally have lots to do here at work. Though I don’t think it’ll take to long to get it done.

Yesterday was alright, very boring day at work, so I spent most of it playing Earthbound. I made it past the first guy, and got to the big foot thing. Now I’m in the second town and buying/selling eggs for a $98 profit, so that way I can get lots of money! Now, if only getting money were that easy in real life!

After work, I went home, packed up real quick and then drove to Andrew’s house.

Got there and we talked a bit. I got really pissed off. Not at him but at Courtney. Andrew and the “girls” are going out Friday and Courtney pretty much said that she didn’t want me there. I find this very very annoying, because I don’t know what the hell I did to her to make her not like me. Everytime that her and Andrew hang out she makes the point that she doesn’t want me to be there.

And on top of it all, she knows that Fri/Sat/Sun are days that I’m in town, and that Andrew and I hang out. If you ask me, if you want to go out with one of us on those three days, then you should expect the other to come. It’s not like there isn’t the rest of the weekdays to go out, etc.

I just don’t see why, I mean it’s only a couple hours. Blah whatever….

And you know what, Andrew always complained about how his Bf’s never liked his friends… Well now he’s got a bf who DOES like his friends, but his freinds don’t like his BF.

Anyways, after that we drove to Best Buy, he got a CD player and a CD case. I got a game controller for my computer. How exciting!

From there back to his house where we played games. I tried my hand at Donkey Kong for the N64. I sucked at it, and was getting very mad because he kept making fun of me and my not being able to figure things out. It was my first EVER time playing a game like that, 3-D and all, and where you had to controll the angle of the camera. That on top of the fact that I had no IDEA what buttons were what, how could you expect me to do well my first time. By the time that I finally gave up, I had gotten it down some though.

Went to bed after that, I slept well finally. Which is good.

Got up early this morning, showered, and then headed off to work. Which is where I am now.

Getting here though was very stressfull. The interstate was at a STAND STILL from Hickman all the way back to 86th Street. VERY annoying.

Andrew’s coming up tonight and tomorrow we’re helping his sister move. I’m also getting an eye-doc appoitnment. GOod times.

Anyways, I’m out. Though I had a lot more to bitch about. I have to work.

Oh And Be Careful Out There On Kazaa!

Trust Your Gut

Well, I learned a valueable lesson last night… My gut feeling lies.

All day long, I just had this feeling in my gut that Andrew would perhaps make a sweet gesture and come up after his hanging out with Ann H and girl.

I knew in the back of my mind that he actually wouldn’t, but for some reason I went with my gut feeling. I went out after work and bought some food to make a pie, a yummy pie at that. And I came home and I made it.

I sat around at home watching TV, “Queer Eye For A Straight Guy”, “Boy Meets Boy”, and then another “Queer Eye For A Straight Guy”. He never showed, and I was fairly annoyed with that.

I know that I shouldn’t have been because we never talked about him coming up, and it would have been late had he did come up. So I was just being stupid, though I was still a bit annoyed. Stupid gut feeling. I’ll never trust it again…

And hopefully it’s wrong about the other feeling that I’m getting right now.

There’s a few other things that have been annoying me lately, though I’m going to pass those off as both of us being very stressed out about this whole moving situation.

I really wish that they weren’t happening, because I would like these last couple weeks that we have together to be some of the best. Hopefully they’ll turn around and that’ll happen.

And not what my gut is telling me is going to happen.