Nervousness

So I know that some things shouldn’t yet be put up on the main page, so here’s yet anouther private entry. Friday I was so nervous because I had sent Drew Bear flowers at work.

It was so stressfull because the plan changed so many times. First of all the thing was to just show up Friday night whereever we were meeting with some flowers and then tell him that he could just “Drop the Almost.” But since he had showen up with flower randomly I thought that would look too copy-catish. So then I changed the plan to just dropping flowers off at his car while he was at work or the gym, with a note that said “Let’s Drop the ‘Almost’.” But then he dropped the bomb of him not being able to go out on Friday, so I was like, well I’ll do it Saturday. So Thursday I was sitting at work thinking about him, and I thought how nice it would be to get some flowers at work. So that sparked the IDea, and I ended up sending him some cute flowers at work! Yay, I feel so smart and caring! 😀

So yeah, that was my nice thing… It was however yet another WONDERFULL weekend, and there’s really not much more to update about….

Although I did make him cum again, I feel sooooo special 😀

Lots of great things happened, and now we’re official. So great!

Flowers!

So, yet another GREAT GREAT Wed night with Andrew. Ohhhh, what a great night!

So I decided that I wasn’t going to go to work at all. So I sat around here paitently waiting for him to arrive. He finally got here about 12:30ish, I was looking out my peep-hole (Why’s that sound so bad and wrong?), and I saw him carrying flowers. I was like, “OMG, ::tears:: how nice.” I had to wait a second to hold them back before opening the door. He came in and handed me the flowers. I was so in shock, and a warm fuzzy feeling that I just didn’t know what to do or act. It was such a special thing for me! No one’s EVER got me flowers before. Sooooo nice. I’m almost in tears just sitting here looking at them, and reading his card…”Topher – Thanks for being you! You mean the world to me! -Drew” They’re so pretty, I wish that I had my digital camera so that I could take some pics of them! Although now he’s kinda ruined a surprise that I’ve been planning, oh well….. Maybe I’ll just do it anyways!

After that excitment was done we came into my room where we sat and talked about how our day was, etc. Made him a CD which was really amusing. Although my CD burning software wasn’t working quite right, so I had to do alot of manual labor to get it done right. Bah! But it was tons of fun. After that we made plans to go out to Reiman gardens.

Went out there and there were a bunch of old crazies working there. First the lady taking money was like “How old is your friend there” and I was like 18. And she was like, “He could pass for 17.” and then she talked some more, and I handed her the $5 that I had, she took it and we went off. We were looking at the hatching area, and Andrew bitched about her saying that he could pass for 17, and then taking the $5 cause we figured she would only make us pay the $2. Well, a couple minutes after he bitched the lady was like… “Here I only rung you up at $2.” I was like, “Ohhh, thanks” I bet she heard Drew Bear bitching.

So Reiman was TONS of fun! We walked around inside, and then went outside…. Yet another place that I wish we had our own little photographer walking around with us! So many cute little thing happened there. First we walked over to this big bell like thing, I dunno what it is, but we stood under it and kissed. SOOO cute! And so much fun! After that we walked around some more. Stopped at this covered bridge type thing and kissed and hugged. God, we’re so CUTE! I just can’t get over it! Weeeeee, so great. You really have no IDEA how great it is to have someone that I care about, and I’m not ashamed of. Someone that I can go out in public and kiss, and hug, and hold hangs, and not be embarrased. Drew and I have had more PDA’s TODAY then Adam and I did in the whole 16 months of our relationship. So great!

After the bridge, we went up to this little hill thing and sat there on a bench and held each other, and kissed some more! We sure do alot of kissing! There were breeders and I think we scared them some… Eh, who cares!

From Reiman it was off to the mall because I heard that AE and Gap got new shit in. It didn’t look as if Gap did, but AE did. So that was fun. After that we went and ate at Village Inn. Good food there, I paid! From there it was off to Best Buy, where Andrew purchased FF1&2, the originals! I’m sure he was excited. Saw Andy Beatty there too!

After that back to my place where we sat around and talked, and kissed some more. Again such great times. What I really love about kissing him is after wards leaning back, and in that second before he openes his eyes, he’s so CUTE! So Adorably cute, and then he opens his eyes, and you see those big, sweet, caring brown eyes looking back and you, and you just feel so great and this warm tingly feeling flows throughout your body, oh so great! I wish I could take a picutre from my eyes so that I could see that all the time!

One thing that we talked about at Village Inn was all the gifts that we had given Ex’s. And it really pissed me off cause I realized how much money I had spent on Adam. I mean, we’re talking TONS of fucking money. And what did I really get in return, he never did anything sweet like I did (Ie, cards on car, etc), he never got me flowers, he never bought me tickets to some show that I wanted to see, he never did SHIT! Pretty much everytime we went out for food, I paid. Arg, it pisses me off to much. I wish I could block that 16 months from memory!

Anyways, back to much happier things. At 7:30ish we had to go to campus for a group meeting. That was amusing and only lasted like 20 minutes. Good time though, Andrew looked as though he was bored as hell! lol.

After that we came back to my house and laid in my bed with Enya playing in the back ground. They should make a movie about us cause we’re so CUTE!! Damnit. so fucking cute! We kissed and talked and kissed and talked some more. It’s getting so hard to leave him! I dunno what we’re going to do if we ever can’t have a Wed together.

And speaking of, he’s not going out Friday night, which is sad. But also understandable. I was reading XY today, the relationship section of the new guide thing, and it’s like…Ok, so I can’t think of exactly what it said right now, but basically is said that in a good relationship everyone has to have a night or two out with freinds that are just thier friends. And that there should be some non-shared friends. Anyways, I’m glad that he’s going out with girl. Even though I find her funny cause she almost acts like she’s his GF or something. So crazy! But I’m sure he’ll have fun, and I’ll find something fun to do too!

So eventually it came to the point where he had to leave, and it’s so hard. Of course it always takes like 20 minutes to get him out the door, and I feel kinda bad for pushing him… Cause I feel like I am. But he has to go at some point!

Tonight shall be filled with sweet sweet dreams, and I’ll be smiling all day tomorrow!

The Memories of Adam

So I’ve started removing Adam from my life now. Got around to all the little things that he’s given me over the 16 months that we were together… Cards, picutres, pots. There really isn’t that much shit to tell you the truth.

I don’t know why that is either, perhaps it was a sign that our relationship just wasn’t right. Or maybe it was the fact that he just didn’t know how to give. I’m sure he had alot more stuff of mine then I had of his. BTW, he’s still got my class ring and I want it back.

But all in all, everything he gave me won’t even fill a small shoe box. I think that’s sad really, that those 16 months of him will fit into something so small.

I’m not even dating Andrew, and I have more pictures of him then I did of Adam. I also think that’s another sign, the sign that on my desk at work, all I had of Adam was one picture. A picture that doesn’t even feature him. He’s so small that you couldn’t even really see him. But now, I have four pictures containing Andrew on my desk. I think that’s an even stronger sign.

How I miss you….

Why do I miss him so much. We spent all Friday night, and all day Saturday together. Didn’t see each other Sunday, but we talked. And now here it is, 3pm on Monday, and I just can’t get him out of my head.

I’ve decided that I will take Wed off, screw money. I’d much rather spend the day with Drew Bear.

I just can’t explain the feelings here.

His picture sits on my desk, with his big dark eyes, just staring at me. And I sit here, and stare back at the, and marvel in how dark, how sexy they are. I look at his face and see how sharp and clean he looks. I look at his lips, and think of how great it is to be able to kiss them.

I look at him, and think how wonderfull it is to hold him, and just kiss the back of his head. To be able to sit across the table from him and joke, and laugh, and tell stupid stories.

Why must he be so perfect.

Fantasticly Fantastic

So Friday couldn’t have come sooner. It was SUCH a LONG day. Andrew came about, he was here about 8ish. I made him supper and we pow-wowwed on the floor and ate it. Really good food, if I do say so myself. After that we sat and watched TV, cuddled, kissed. We’re so cute together.

Umm, I wanna say about 10ish we finally decided to start drinking. So we started with the wine coolers. We each had two before we ended up making out and then eventually in bed. I really wanted to finish it all and actually get drunk. But all they did to me was make my stomach a bit wierd. So now I have stuff here. Perhaps I’ll just drink it this week.

Anyways, in bed we kissed and hugged, I rubbed his cute little ass. He’s got like the CUTEST ass I’ve ever seen. Sooooo cute! lol. Anyways, licking, kissing, cuddling. All so great. I could just do that forever! Someohow though it ended… I think I layed down next to him just cuddling. But then the next thing I knew, Andrew was moving around alot. Trying to get under the covers, and he woke me. I got under the covers too and was just cuddling him. That moved on to kissing, and then to other things. Before I knew it, it was like 9:30ish or so, and he was sitting in between my legs, dick out. We were kissing, and I was jacking him off. It was so amazing, it all went so fast. Before I knew it though, he was actually CUMING. I know that he always said that no one has EVER made him cum, so I felt special. But I still dismiss it to the fact that, A) he’d been hard for like 24 hours, B) it’s not that hard to get a guy to cum, C) I just don’t get it.

I just can’t beleive that I’m the only person ever to make him cum….. Still in shock. And there’s no pressure on me either, considering that he’s always said “the person that makes me cum is going to be my husband.” Crazies.

After he came he galavanted off to the shower, leaving me with a raging hard-on. It went away quickly though since he wasn’t there to interest it. After Andrew got out of the shower he appoligised for not finishing. I was like “It’s alright.” It’s happened more then enough to me, so no big problem. Although last night after he left, I tried so HARD to jack it, but I just coulnd’t keep it up long enough. I think Andrew’s spoiled it.

We left for the mall after we had both eaten and showered. It was good times there. We stopped at some software store that sold video games. Andrew looked at them all and it’s so cute. He’s such a geek, so very very cute. Even though it’s not computer related, at least it’s something that’s closer to computers then Bonsai are. He’s someone that can understand that things take time to do. Playing games takes lots of time. As do learning and playing with computers. It’s just another thing that we have in common I guess. Even though it’s not an exact match, it’s pretty close.

From there back to my house were we dropped off Andrew’s car. Then we were going to go to his house to play video games, but his mom forbid us from coming over. Random tangent…. His house/mom are such show people. They have to have everthing perfect before anyone can see it. When you walk into his house, it looks as if you’re on a home tour of a new housing development and you’re seeing the show house. It’s nice because it seems as though some of that’s rubbed off on Andrew. Like his room is always clean, which is a nice thing. Because I’m like that as well, even though I grew up in a house that looks like a tornado went through (A tornado with dogs prints). Just another cute little things that I notices.

So since his mom forbid us, we went to VW for a while, just walking around. Didn’t go into hardly any stores. I wasn’t in the mood too. After a bit there, called his mom again and this time she said we could come over… “But only for a couple hours.” So we did… Got there and she WASN’T EVEN THERE! Crazy Sue! Went and played video games. Andrew kept kissing me and stuff and I was very pariniod. I was like “What if crazy catches us.” So scary. Anyways, I didn’t get any of the games so he let me play Mario. I LOVE THAT GAME!

Went to supper at Cheddars. I didn’t think I had ever been there before, but like half way through the meal I realized I had been there before. Such a great time, there was like a breeder couple at the table next to us. I wanted to show them up, but I’m too shy to do as such. lol.

Andrew paid… SO NICE OF HIM!. THANKS A TON DREW BEAR!!!

Went to B&N where we met Sheila. I also read Kevin’s book, and a found a book that had NOTHING but color swqatches in it. We were like.. WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY FOR THIS???

Sheila’s funny!

Back to PC, where we hot tubbed and made out. Fulfilled Drew’s fantasy of making out in a hot tub. We also talked about other ones. Including…

*Under the full moon

*Under the stars (No moon)

*On the golf course (Ok, we didn’t talk about this one, but it’s one of mine)

*Rocky out-cropping (Preferably in the Canyon)

*Sky-walks

*Pool

*Big open field

*Lots of others

After the hot tub, which was SO VERY FUN. WE went inside, kicked my bro off the TV and laid there in our towels and watched Sister Sister and The Proud Family. Funny ass shows. And so nice to just lay there on the couch with Andrew in my arms. ::deep breaths:: SO NICE! Eventually he had to leave, so we went upstairs and changed…. Got another shot of his cute little ass! Weeeeee! We stood there and hugged and kissed some… Eventually making it outside where I stood in my towel, Drew made fun of the hickie he left on my shoulder, and we hugged and kissed some more.

I totally didn’t want him to leave last night. I wish that there were more time we could spend together. I missed him so much today, and last night!