Not Published – Page 65

Let Me Finish

Ok, well I’m a bit better now, so let me finish what I was saying.

I’m so glad that Andrew has that ability to enjoy just sitting there and watching a nice sunset, or enjoying a good view.

For me it’s a great time to just sit there and reflect on the day, and to do that with the person you love is even better. It gives you a time to reflect on what you’ve done that day and what you’ve accomplished. It signifies the end of one more day in your life, and just to have that hour, or maybe even ten minutes to sit there and look at the beautiful earth and mother nature gives you that chance to stop everyday hustle and bustle of life and just enjoy it with that special someone.

I could never share my life with someone that doesn’t enjoy sittin there with me, enjoying the wonders that are mother nature… I’ve seen so many wonderful places in this country, and I hope to find so many more.

From Lovers Leap, and the Tooth at Philmont, to the Ampitheater at Mitigwa, to the ledges of the Grand Canyon. I’ve seen the sunset, and I’ve seen the sunrise. From the Blank Ridge camp, to my hot tub in my own back yard. From the big open areas of campus, to the skys above San Diego, I’ve seen the stars, and watched the sun move across the sky.

I’ve seen the shooting stars, and the big dipper, I’ve seen the moon in every stage, and watched how it lit up the night sky. I’ve seen the Space station high above, and Mars moving across the night sky.

I’ve seen so much in my life, and it’s only because I enjoy taking that time in my life to watch these things.

And I’m so happy that I’ve found someone else to share that with…

Now I only wish that he were closer so that I could share it once more, though everytime I see a wonderfull sunset now, or the night sky. I think of him, and hope that he’s out there enjoying the same thing.

With Love,
Topher.

A Decent View

If there’s anything that someone I’m dating should be able to know/do it’s know when there’s a wonderful view and can really enjoy that.

When I said my favorite memory of our relationship was the night at Saylorville. It was because Andrew has that, or at least pretends to be have it. We sat there that night and just watched the sunset.

Anyways the point is that the other night he called just to tell me what a great view he was seeing, and tell me that I would like it. That really coutched me that he would take time to call me and tell me of that. Well, I wanted to make it more sweetish, but whatever. That’s what you get right now….

Because I’m a bit annoyed, about his inability to ask how my day went. Off to write a public so that I can tell people just how my day went.

A Chat About Love

21:23:32) SqUaLL0112: and now we can make love in any position and you wont be concerned about the jiggleness
(21:23:55) BlackC 2004: lol… I dunno if that’ll be a problem though, will it.
(21:23:56) BlackC 2004: lol
(21:25:32) SqUaLL0112: who knows? O:-)
(21:25:45) BlackC 2004: I guess we’ll just have to wait and find out. Eh?
(21:25:45) SqUaLL0112: well for all those other boys you have sex with
(21:26:01) BlackC 2004: Yeah, all 8 trillion of them!
(21:26:05) SqUaLL0112: eh
(21:26:15) BlackC 2004: Boy, let me tell you.. I’ve had a new boy every night in bed.
(21:26:18) SqUaLL0112: thats what i thought
(21:26:21) BlackC 2004: Infact, there’s one waiting there now!
(21:26:26) BlackC 2004: So I’ll have to go soon. 😛
(21:26:30) SqUaLL0112: mm hmm well go fuck him
(21:26:36) BlackC 2004: Yep… I’m going to here in a bit.
(21:26:39) BlackC 2004: Don’t worry.
(21:26:40) BlackC 2004: lol
(21:26:43) BlackC 2004: 😛
(21:26:53) BlackC 2004: but i”m sure you’re getting your full share of nice ass out there!
(21:27:08) BlackC 2004: Probably a lot hotter then the ones left here nowt hat you’re cute ass is out of thes tate!
(21:27:22) SqUaLL0112: i thought s
(21:27:22) SqUaLL0112: so
(21:27:51) SqUaLL0112: whatever
(21:27:57) BlackC 2004: Yeah, whatever is right!
(21:28:03) SqUaLL0112: there isnt any ass here
(21:28:14) SqUaLL0112: besides my cute bootay
(21:28:52) BlackC 2004: lol.. And I bet yours is the cutest one in your bed… But I bet some of those other booties are a close second!
(21:29:17) SqUaLL0112: well considering i have been the only one in my bed
(21:29:44) BlackC 2004: Oh… You’ve been doing it in the roomies beds?? How HOT!
(21:29:44) BlackC 2004: lol
(21:29:51) SqUaLL0112: oh shut up
(21:30:00) SqUaLL0112: yeah thtats exactly is
(21:30:01) SqUaLL0112: it
(21:30:06) BlackC 2004: I bet it is!
(21:30:13) BlackC 2004: I would, it’d be sooooo hot!
(21:30:28) SqUaLL0112: so when yo ucome for spring break, well make love in my roommates bed
(21:30:45) BlackC 2004: Well I’m sure you’ll have already done that by then, so it won’t be as hot!!
(21:30:46) BlackC 2004: lol
(21:31:34) SqUaLL0112: i dont think so, youll be the first
(21:31:56) BlackC 2004: Ok… We’ll have to see how things at Christmas go first?
(21:32:04) BlackC 2004: “We agree that we shouldn’t eat Grandma; we simply disagree about whether the cow is (or could be) Grandma.” ~ James Rachels ~
(21:32:08) BlackC 2004: (Sorry, random quote)
(21:33:05) SqUaLL0112: well im gonna let you decide all
(21:33:29) BlackC 2004: ME! I don’t ever decide anything. It’ll all be a mutual decision about anything that happens ever!
(21:33:38) BlackC 2004: I just may not let you sleep in my bed… The couch it is for you!
(21:35:09) SqUaLL0112: you are sucha liar
(21:35:17) BlackC 2004: Me??? I’m not a liar!
(21:35:18) SqUaLL0112: you know you are going to let me sleep in your bed
(21:35:25) BlackC 2004: No, I just may not.
(21:35:30) BlackC 2004: I dunno if there will be enough room!
(21:35:36) BlackC 2004: My Muscles will be so big by then!
(21:35:42) SqUaLL0112: LOL whateve
(21:36:08) BlackC 2004: You know it!
(21:36:51) BlackC 2004: So for some reason, I’m watching the history of bra’s?
(21:37:17) SqUaLL0112: LMAO
(21:37:27) SqUaLL0112: you are so random sometimes, i miss you
(21:37:33) BlackC 2004: It’s very scary… To many breasts.
(21:37:42) BlackC 2004: Awww, thanks. I miss you too!
(21:38:12) SqUaLL0112: 🙂
(21:38:53) BlackC 2004: 😀

Giving Bad Advice

Well, Andrew’s having problems. He feels that he doeesn’t really fit in out there, and he wants to come back, or transfer or something. Just get out of Chapman.

We’ve spent a lot of time talking about it lately, and I really want to give him some really bad Advice. I really want to tell him to drop the hell out and come back here. I just want him back here so badly. I want to be with him again, even if it is just as friends. I just want my friend (And maybe even boyfriend) Andrew back.

But I know that I should tell him to stick it out. I know that that’s what will be best. He should stay there a year, and then transfer to where ever it is he wants too. Whether that be a community college so that he can make up those 60 credits to get into SDSU, or to another state college, such as SFSU, or something.

I also believe that if he REALLY hates it there he should transfer at semester. The only problem with that is that he’d have to make that decision RIGHT now, and he still doesn’t know how much he’s going to like/dislike it there.

In all actuallity I think he’s just homesick, and once things start to pick up, and he gets more busy things will be better. He’s got what seems like a great group of people to hang out with. If you consider them friends, or just people he hangs out with. they’re still great, and I think that he could eventually become friends with them. He just needs to give it all some time. Everyone else there is still trying to find thier group, and so is he.

Eventually the groups will get smaller, and he’ll find that group that works with him and his personality. I mean just look at how many people here in Iowa that he’s hung out with over the four years that he was here. There’s so many different groups that he was involved in. He just has to start that process all over again, and it’ll work out.

Now I just wish I could say the same for me.

Anyways, We’ve been talking a lot lately and I just don’t know what to tell him. All I hope is that I’m making things better, not worse. I’m really glad that we’re keeping in touch as much as we have been, and can only hope that things keep going this way over the next couple months!

Much love is sent his way and I hope that things get better. I hope that I can still be here for him when he feels the need to talk and I hope that he finds his group there. I don’t want him to be miserable everytime we talk. It’s really sad to hear him pick up his phone and answer it the way that he has been lately. I want to hear my cheerfull Drew Bear’s voice once again.

I can’t wait tell he gets back for Christmas though. I want to spend a whole day just sitting on the couch and talking! It’ll be great. Plus I already have a few mischievous plans.

I’m A Liar!

Ok, so just a quick update. Andrew and I had a nice long talk the other night and I had a nice break down. It was really good to have him there to reassure me while we were talking. THough I wish that he could have been here to hold me. I really need that right now.

I really don’t want to get into the whole thing right now because I am in a public lab. But I just want to say thanks to him for being there and listening to me, and trying as much as he can to comfort me. I know that it’s hard.

After the initial breakdown, we had a good talk though, about just random things. At like midnight, I was like, I really need to get going, because I was really tired. So we started to say bye, but then we got to talking about a TON of other random stuff, and finally ended up hanging up about 12:30. I really hate doing that, because whenever I go to hit the end button, he’s never hung up yet. So I’m like, “Is he still talking”. I always hate hitting the end key first. Very crazy. That’s probably the whole reason why I hate PHONES!

Anyways, one of the topic’s that came up was my moving to SD. And him not wanting me to base where I’m going on him. Well if he can admit that he’s a hypocrite, I can admit that I’m a liar!

Now, for the most part. I want to move to SD on my own will, and because I want too. But if he got into SFSU and asked me to move closer to him. I would seriously do what ever is in my power to move closer to SF. Now, if it wasn’t at all possible, say he asked me like the week before I moved. I obviously couldn’t. But I would try whatever I could.

As he said…”I really love him.” And I Do.