Category: Not Published

Oh my, so much to update about and NO time to update anything! Ugh

So last Friday Sophia, Morgan and myself headed up to bishop to do some climbing. At first I was a little annoyed that everyone else canceled, but it ended up being an EXCELLENT trip! We left LA about 7pm and got to Bishop around 1ish AM. Which honestly was just amazing! The stars were all out, the area was just amazingly beautiful!

Saturday we got up around 8:30ish and headed off to go climbing, found this boulder that was basically RIGHT off the road (and by off the road, I mean a tiny little dirt road in the middle of NO WHERE) and setup. Hung around there most of the day, had a few people come and go, and had a great time! The rock there really kills your hands though! Had an amazing time. Around 2ish we headed out to the lakes in the area. Got to Lake Sabrina and the trees were just amazingly pretty. Morgan and Sophia jumped in the lake. Crazies.

Left and went into town for gas and ended up stopping to get mexican food. I dared Sophia to eat this thing of the HOTTEST salsa ever and she downed it all in one go! It was intense and hilarious!

Went back to the camp ground after that, started a fire, made peach cobbler, chatted around the camp fire and then went to bed.

Sunday we got up, headed back to the same place, did some new boulders though including “Hero” and “Iron Man”. Hero was awesome! 🙂 Had a great day. Left around 1ish again and headed up to North lake, played around there for a while and then left. Got back to LA about 9pm and I crashed in bed. I was exhausted, but yet I couldn’t sleep! I hate when that happens.

I have to admit I was pretty rude towards Morgan the whole weekend. I tried asking him like 3 times what he’d been up to the last 2 weeks, but he never answered, the most I got out of him was “Well I haven’t been sleeping much”. WTF does that mean! Ugh. Then when we were leaving I got into my car and he came over from his car, offered to pay for some of the gas, forced his $20 onto me, then I was saying goodbye and pretty much had to shut my door in his face because he wouldn’t leave. I dunno what was going on. lol.

Anyways, Monday was a LONG day. Worked 8am-5pm then went home for a few hours, cleaned a little bit, then came back to the office and worked till midnight.

Tuesday I picked Mossman up from the airport, ate lunch with Sophia, then took him to my place, hung out for a bit, then back to the office, worked the rest of the day, back to my house. Took him and Sophia out to Manhattan beach and Hermosa, ate dinner at this delicious place then back to my house for bed!

Wed I got up and went to work, long ass day, didn’t get out of the office till an hour after I had planned. Had a good meeting with SCS Dynamics in Santa Monica. I hope that Victor will agree to move services over to them! Ugh.

Got out of work, headed up to Hollywood and Highland, Mossman didn’t like that, then of to Griffith which I think he liked then off to Sylvia’s house to meet up for dinner. Went to this AMAZING place called Vinotecha (sp?). Ate tons of food, then off to Sylvia’s house again to hang out. Had a really really fun evening 🙂

It’s nice having him here.. It’s sad that he leaves tomorrow. 🙁 I’ve said it before, he’s a great guy…

Here I am, getting ready to leave yet another place for home in LA! I am excited to get home, but again sad at the same time. I always hate leaving a new place and new friends behind.

Hmmm. I’m trying to think back to the rest of last week… Not to much really happened, spent most of the time at the Rock gym, working, class, etc. The class was pretty cool and yet useless at the same time. I could have learned most of it with just a 2-4 hours webex or something. I did get some awesome reporting done though on the last day of the class.

Tues (?), I met up with this guy Alan Mossman and his sister at the hotel they had like a mile away from mine. He was pretty cool and we went swimming, back to his hotel room and his sister left.. We hung out on the bed chatting and looking at pics, then had a little fun, nothing to crazy. But we locked the door between the bedroom and then outside area (they had like a suite type room). Anyways JUST as we finished up, his sister comes back and starts screaming “Ohhh no you didn’t!” It was pretty funny.

Wed (?) I went out to dinner with Alex again and then dropped him off at home. On the way back we were chatting and he totally forgot to tell me when to stop at his house, so we were driving by and he was like “STOP!!!!” So I slammed on the breaks and made the PT cruiser skid, it was hilarious. His house mates apparently heard the racket from inside and wondered what the hell was going on. I went back to the hotel and packed up…

Thursday I got out of class and booked it to Astoria to meet up with Alan, met him at his sister’s house where there were a bunch of random people (her soon to be ex, some random girl and her child). We hung out for a bit, went to and got dinner, checked out the local park where I was going to spend the night, then back to sister’s house to watch movie (State of Play) and drink. Ended up sleeping there which was nice and awk at the same time. His sister and her soon to be ex slept on the couch (in some very awk posistions). Alan and I slept on the floor and cuddled, the random girl and her child slept in the bed.

Got up the next morning, showered and then headed down the coast. Didn’t get very far because Alan had stuff to do that afternoon which sucked. 🙁 But it was good hanging out with him. Saw some really pretty areas and downtown stuff. I like the coast here, it’s nice. Drove him back to his office where we hung out and did some hanky panky which was fun. 🙂 lol. After that he showed me where he was looking at moving his office too. UBER nice building. I hope he can make it work out! I almost want to MOVE into his new office! It’s this really old building but the unit has been upgraded, wide plank hard wood floors, loft style, it’d be AMAZING as an apartment! 🙂

I headed south from there and convinced him to come down with me after he was done with his stuff so I stopped in a place about an hour or so south of his house and found a camp ground. He showed up and we went out to dinner then back to the camp ground to hang out, chatted, etc. Hanky panky. 😉

Got up the next morning… Putzed around, showered, etc then said one last good bye to Alan and then moved farther down the coast. Got to Florance and found a nice camp ground on the beach, watched a movie and then crashed for the evening.

Today I got up and drove back to Portland, didn’t really stop anywhere as I was a little lonely and sad, just wanted to get back to Portland, pack up, shower and then hit the downtown coffee shops one last time and hang out there and people watch.

Alan’s a good guy, he seems to have his shit together, got a business he’s working on, cute, funny. Why do good guys never live close to me? Ugh.

I also have to say that this trip has continued to remind me of Morgan a lot. I haven’t heard/talked to him since 9/11. Probably a good thing. I’m moving on to newer and better things. If he can’t see what he’s missing out on then sucks for him. There’s a guy out there somewhere who will respect and understand me and want me… Out there somewhere….

I’m out!

Oregon Coast Tracks

There’s only been one thing on my mind this whole weekend. Yosemite! UGH! This is why I hate traveling alone. I get out here into the wilderness and one thing pops into my head and it just so happens to be the one thing that I can’t stop thinking about the whole fucking time I’m out there. So annoying.

Other then that, it’s been a really great weekend! I got up here right on time, thank you alasaka airlines, got off my plane, got to the car rental place, yelled at the guy because he didn’t have GPS, got a SHITTY ass PT Cruiser, hit up REI…

And I bought another pair of shoes! 🙁 They were only sale! Only $80 compared to the normal $140! I swear I’ve been needing a pair of trail runners anyways! 🙂 Went and checked out and asked the girl about places I could camp that night… She said, “3rd flood of the parking garage. You can be my neighbor tonight”. LOL. I of course had to TXT Yosemite!

So anyways, I drove out to Ainsworth state park to camp for the night, got there and the place was FULL of course! That’s always my luck.. Luckily I found this guy who was just setting up for the night, he was alone because his daughters/wife were joining him the next morning. I asked him if I could crash his site for the evening and he let me! So that was great. We chatted for a while, he told me about some awesome road trips he’d been on, gave me some pointers for the coast and then went to bed around midnight. I heard him get up and rustle around about 4ish but I ignored him and went back to sleep. Got up at 6 and he was gone. So I left for the day and did two water falls, some other random stuff, headed up to the lodge, got there hiked around for a bit, got bored sat at the lodge, talked to some guy online, went and had dinner with him in Portland, drove back to ZigZag, went to some wilderness camp ground only to find it closed, so I parked along side the road and camped in the back of the PT Cruiser, BAD IDEA!

Got up Sunday, drove done some crazy ass road, got lost. Ended up at Lost Lake talking to some REALLY hot boy. (Damn straights). Found my way out of that after he gave me some directions got back to portland, checked into my hotel and then just crashed there.

The hotel is pretty nice, couch and everything! 🙂

Monday I got up, did some work then met up with this guy Alex who I had been chatting with online for a while. We went to Cricket Cafe where they had veggy bisquits and gravy (YUM). Then we went downtown to this HUGE book store, I spent way to much money there. Stopped at a porn store, who doesn’t love porn! Drove around abit more, got lost, went to a rock climbing gym, did some awesome climbing, went to Mongolian BBQ (Not as good at Hu-Hot!), drove him home, went back to the hotel and then crashed….

Oh. We also went to the MOST AMAZING good will ever! It was a good will outlet! Who knew! Amazing. Everything was in these HUGE bins and you just dig through them to find what you want! I foudn this AWESOM wok and some GREAT punch bowl cups, which would have gone GREAT with my punch bowl since I don’t have cups for it. Sadly I have NO way of getting them home.

Today is the start of training. It’s going to be interesting. There’s already some hot boys here! 🙂 Yum!

I am going to hit up the rock climbing gym as well tonight, holy hell the boy that was working that place last night, LONG blonde hair, blue eyes, holy jesus.

Also, I really enjoy downtown portland. I wish my hotel were down there so I could just walk around and explore.

The problem is that I can totally see morgan in almost everything here, the people, the bikes, etc. IT makes me think about him all the time which is just annoying. I think that he would love it here.

And the guys I have been meeting. There must be something in the water, all really tall 6’+ and REALLY skinny. OMG, HOT!

Class is starting, I’m out

What a weekend! I left work at noon and went home to quickly pack, do laundry, etc. It was all a little crazy getting ready. Sophia and Morgan showed up and we went off to Idyllwild. The traffic out there wasn’t too bad so that was good news.

Got there Friday night and we all just hung out, organized gear, etc.

Saturday morning came and we all got up and headed out to Tahquitz to do Sarra Terra. Morgan lead all weekend, I was not in the mental state to do it after the funeral and dealing with all the Morgan issues as well. So we geared up, Morgan, myself and Sophia and started climbing. Did some AMAZING stuff. Got up to the third belay station and it was a hanging station with JUST BARELY enough room for Morgan and myself to stand there very very intimately, so we bailed out there. Sophia was already very tired anyways. We did about 400 feet of climbing though so that was awesome.

Got back to camp just after sunset and made dinner, hung out, chatted, etc.

Sunday we got up and headed to Suicide rock. I got very annoyed to start the day out, everyone was just talking and sitting there doing nothing. I’m all about the hanging out and talking but we are also here to CLIMB. You can CLIMB and talk at the same time. So I stated off on this UBER hard route, only made it to the first anchor and bailed. Then Morgan tried and made it to the second and bailed. We had to leave some gear there, Morgan was very bummed by that.

After that we went over to Weeping wall and did a climb Surprise which was a 5.8. Very fun! 🙂 3 pitches to the top, it was just Morgan and I and we moved along pretty fast. I really enjoyed that. The whole time climbing though at the stations we were very close to each other and every time we met at one I wanted to just grab him, give him a HUGE hug and kiss. UGH! It was very mentally exhausting the whole time just being that close to him and not being able to do that.

Then we made it to the top and sat up there watching the sunset a little bit, the valley, looking at Tahquitz and talking. Again. I JUST WANTED to so badly grab him and kiss him, make out with him up there in that amazing wilderness. UGH! :'(

So we rapped off that, hiked out (got LOOOOST) finally found a road that we could take and found out we were like 2 miles off course from the car. I took that time to bring up the aspect of what happened between us. His answer, “I’m just not ready for anything that serious”. UGH! Fucking A! Always want what you can’t have. BLah blah blah. We ran into some people and they gave us directions back to our car. We walked on a bit and the guy came and picked us up which was UBER nice of him.

That night Sophia, Morgan and I went out to Mexican, we had no idea where the rest of the group was at. It was a good time, but VERY hard for me to put on a happy face during the meal.

Monday morning we all got up again and everyone headed back up to Suicide rock. I again tried to lead climb but my mental status got the best of me and I bailed. Morgan led the rest of that way up, I followed and cleaned the gear out. It sucks because if I had made it 2 more feet up I could have finished it NO problem! UGH! On well.

After that everyone else left and Morgan, Sophia and I went back to Weeping wall to do Serpentine. Another GREAT route. It was very easy up until you got to this crack part that was a little crazy/scary. But we finished it up, then rapped down and met up with Sophia again. Got out of there just at sunset again and got Mexican food at another place. This one wasn’t as good, but we had amazing friend ice cream!

Got done and headed back to LA. Got to my house and Morgan came in for a bit. We finished our talk about what happened. I told him how I felt and how he hurt me, I even cried a little bit, I was REALLY trying to hold that in, but a few slipped out. I tried wiping them away without letting him see it!

Anyways, after we were done talking, I told him that I was going to bed, but he just sat there. I had to tell him a few times to get him to actually get up and leave! Very strange. I really wanted him to fucking stay and cuddle though.

Got up Tuesday and came to work. He IMed me like half way through the day and we setup a thing to go to a meeting that night of the SoCal outdoors/rock climbing group. I found it really random that he wanted to go somewhere together that night after our little chat the night before. Anyways, he picked me up at 6 and the whole evening was a little AWK but still we chatted and I think had a good time. The meeting was interesting and I got a free shirt out of it! That whole group was AWK and not exactly the friendliest people.

Anyways, he dropped me off at my office and there was a little awkness saying good bye, I really got the feeling he wanted me to say/do something? But at the same time, I obviously have been mis-reading him this whole time, so who the fuck knows.

So it’s just friends with us now, although I hope that he will come around and want something more. I’m not going to really wait for anything. I have a meeting tonight with the Mexican he wants to meet at Olive Garden and talk. Very strange. We shall see!

I’m out!

Well here I am on the flight back to LA from Iowa. It’s been a really short trip but much needed.

Let’s go back in time a bit first.

Friday night I got off work and headed over to Syliva’s house. Met up with her around 5:30 and we went to get dinner at this sushi place. It was pretty good, had some interesting new sushi that I enjoyed. I’ve never really been a sashimi person which we got a little bit of. From there we headed back to her house and grabbed some wine, chatted on the pourch, watched the sunset, talked about boys and boy troubles and what not. Got done with that and we had a little mary j then headed to the concert.

Liza fucking Minelli! Amazing. We were late, we got amazing seats, we could have pur our ARMS on the fucking stage! Amamzing.

We left at the intermission. Went back to her house, had more wine, more mary, watched Benjamin Button and then went to bed.

I got up eary the next morning and went to my car, plugged in my phone and had two missed calls from my dad. I knew something not good had happened. I called him back. GG has passed away in the night.

I went to a coffee bean at Hollywood and Highland to meet up with Adam and booked flights back home, left on Sunday afternoon. As we were walking back to my car the fucking meter maid was giving me a ticket for parking in a zoned area. Who the fuck knew! UGH! Another fucking ticket.

Anyways, Adam and I went up to San Antonio falls and did some canyoneering which was fun. Drove home from there and packed and got everything organized for the trip home.

Sunday came and I went to the office to get some work done then headed to the airport.

Got home that night and went to the house, sat on the back pourch listening to the bugs and crickets and what not then went to bed.

Got up EARLY on Monday, drove mother to work then drove the truck to Lenox. Met up with the family, did visitation that evening, came home from that and sat around with the family at Grandma’s house talking about GG and Grandpa and other random things! Ate TONS of food and drank lots of wine!

Tuesday was the funeral again we were all up early. Services SUCKED this time because of the new pastor, he didn’t even take the time to get to know the family or ask what GG was like. He basically just READ her fucking OBIT which was annoying as hell. I did break down crying for some of it. It was really sad to thinking back just over a year ago to Grandpa’s funeral.

The precession was a little funny because we had to pass a hay bailer on the way out to the cemetary. Everyone hung around at the cemetary for an oddly long amount of time after, unlike grandpas where everyone left pretty quickly.

Got back to the church, had lunch, did some family pictures and then went back to grandma’s and basically spent the night there just chatting again. I was alittle annoyed that we didn’t go out and do something else. I picked some pears which was nice and relaxing.

Wed was another early morning beacuse of all the noise in the house and I was sleeping in the living room. Again we mostly just hung out at the house, went over to GG’s for alittle bit to pick out things that we wanted from her. I got some nice crystal bowls and the Bell that I have given her from Paris.

Drove home with Sheila that evening, then met up with my parents at the climbing gym and did some bouldering for a while. Came home, ate dinner then went up to Ames to meet up with this guy that I had met at Christmas. Hung out at his house for litterally 30 minutes and then came home.

I was very annoyed with Morgan again this week. He txted me on Sunday asking how climbing was. I told him I was in Iowa, no reply, no “sorry to hear, hope all is well”. Nothing. UGH. Then I txt him to see if he can help me out with some shopping, he replies back that he could so I sent him an email told him to REPLY to let me know he got it, NOTHING.

UGH. Asshole.

On monday Daniel randomly IMed me. He had know way of knowing that I was in Iowa, but he asked if we could hang out, apparently he’s been having dreams about me? Random. I Told him next week.

Today I met up with Angel and we hung out for the afternoon, it was good to see her again, but things with her and Rick are not going so well. I wish she’d just move out and start over again. She needs someone much better then that!

Met up with mother after that and then dad and I went out to dinner. Dropped me off at the airport.

I’m looking forward to camping this weekend. I am going to be uber lazy and relaxed!

NIght all.