Category: My Life

Jan 29, 2001

it’s snowing again, it’s been raining all morning and

now it’s snowing, yeah, rain and snow. great weather conditions, we’re suposed

to get lik 13 inches tonight, yippy fun. well not much has been happening

today, or really yesterday for that matter. it’s monday, nothing ever happens

on mondays. or weds, or fridays, cause i only have one class those days, but

i guess it’s all good, i have lots of free time, i should get a job ya know,

but there’s nothing good in this town, it’s all c-store work. and i’ve done

more then my fair share of it. you would think that a college that’s ranked

#9 in the counrty as one of th most wired would have higher tech companies

in close range, but no it’s all in SF an hour away, and the cost of driving there doesn’t really help to get a job there. cause it’s 55 miles there and

55 miles back. and at 80-85 miles an hour, that burns alor of gas. and with

the prices they are round here at 1.60 and up, it can really put a hole in

your pocket. o well, i think i can make it tell like summer before i HAVE

to get a job. i still haven’t herad anything back from that offer in philly,

i would really love to get it. that’s the first scout camp in the nation.

it would be tons of fun to work there. but then chris k. my moss from last

summer has been bothering me to come work there all summer this year. but

the thing is is that pete is the camp director and he’s a total ass. alot

of the employees that worked for him last year WON’T go back to work for him.

they even went so far as to send me an app without asking me, i’m sure kaye

told them to, but still. i really don’t want to work in Iowa this summer,

i don’t want to live in iowa or the midwest this summer, i just want out of

this part of the country. i was going to do accouting today, but then i started

reading it and got bored, so maybe i’ll do it tomorrow just before i go to

class. lol. hope it’s not to hard. FUCK, the power just went off, i hope that

doesn’t keep up. hehe, luckly i have battery backup, but that means that theservers

are all down now, cause they don’t. the dumb fuckers. again you would think

that the #9 most wired college would have batteries on thier servers. o well

guess they don’t. i’ll have to wait a bit now to get this posted. i’ve been

really tired lately. i don’t know what’sup. i’ve been getting enough sleep,

and not too much. hmm, o well. it will go away, that’s my theory. lol. i’m

going to shut down for bit, the power keeps going in and out. i’ll upload

this once i getback.

Jan 28, 2001

danny and i talked for quite a while last night it was

really nice, he’s got such a great voice, but he talks so soft sometimes it

hard to understand what he says, i did find out one thing he’s got a dog named

tyson (update 01-28-01: alright so i can’t here, he said dysson), lol. what

a cute name, lol. well not much other shit going on round here, it’s wed,

nothing ever happens on Wed. so i’m going to go do some HW now. bubye.

Jan 28, 2001

ya know, usually i don’t think when i write these. i

just sit down and type what’s on my mind, just what ever my fingers say. But

yesterday, danny was reading these. and i went back and started readig some

of them. ya know i think i obses a bit much, don’t i? well i just wanted to

write this and say i’m sorry if i ever offend or scare anyone here. it’s just

what’s on my mind. danny i truly do love you, even though it’s not in a way

that most peope love, the fact i can’t see you, or have enver seen a picture

of you. but i love who you are. your voice, your personality, everything i

know so far about you. but my life is messed up i guess, i’ve been depressed

alot of my life, ya know, most of my friends from back home would know i used

to be really athletic, i was in about every sport when i was younger. but

something happened when i was 12, and just dropped everything my grades slipped,

the fun in my life, it all just left. i hate my life. Something else though.

when i was younger i used to spend most of the summer out side withouta shirt

on, no suntan lotion, i used to get really nice tans, but i haven’t had a

good tan for years now, because i rarly take my shirt off when i’m out side.

The reason is becuase i have three very large moles on my back, one of them

is three different colors. i think it might be skin cancer. and it’s not just

on my back i have oddly shaped moles all over my arms ad stuff too. they have

been there for a coupleyears now. and i’ve just never really cared what they

were. i just leave them alone, and hope to god that they aren’t cancer. i’ve

never had a doctor look at them, my PU’s have never seen them, no one knows they are there, but me. that’s why i always go swimming late at night, that’s

why i haven’t been in the mitigwa pool since the summer of ’96. I’ve never

really cared if i die from them, because my life has been nothing to me so

far. it’s been shitty, i hated my life in HS and so far i’ve hated my life

in college. although it is a bit better.

Jan 23, 2001

B-day’s suck, they really really do suck, you know that.

i really do hate b-days. for those that didn’t know yesterday was my b-day.

asshole people. i hate b-days, my grandma remembered, my aunt’s and cousing

remembered, well most of them. my parents, my dad remembered, he sent me a

package, my mom, nope, she forgot, my mom’s side of the family, nope they

all forgot to. assholes. i know i’m not any better, but yeah, i at least call

and say happy b-day and shit. no one called me, sent me anything, bastards,

i hate b-days, i just wish i had someone here to sit and lay my head on thier

chest and just cry. speaking o such a person, danny did remember, we talked

for a while last night. that was nice. well i’m still pissed about b-day’s

so i’m leaving now.

Jan 21, 2001

so yeah, i had a thing here earlier, but i forgot to

save it and the damn comp crached, so here goes again. Sundays really suck,

but this one just sucks more then normal. tomorrow’s my b-day, i really hate

b-days. but this one is just going to really suck cause i’m up here, all by

myself, yucky. i haven’t talked to danny since he called the other night,

i really want to talk to him again soon. he said that we needed to spend some

time apart? wtf? why, i didn’t get a chance to sak him, 🙁 i want to see him,

i want to talk to him. so yeah, i’ve also been thinking about my future, yet

again, i think to much. but yeah, i’m going to go look into teaching as a

career. it looks simple enough to get a lisence thing, lol. yeah. o well.

this one sucks. i’m going to go off now. bye.