Category: My Life

Feb 10, 2001

yeah so i should be doing HW now. but i just don’t have

the motivation to do it, lol. i really haven’t got shit done today. it’s been

a crappy ass day. i watched qaf the first two shows today. everytime i watch

it i see more of it, you know realise more. it’s like WOW, i haven’t seen

that before, lol. it gets funnier everytime i watch it to, lol. haven’t seen

danny yet today, and it’s getting kinda late. we talked for a couple minutes

last night, he was on a payphone, getting chinese food again. i had this craving

the other day for chinese food, and then like 5 minutes later he called and

was like i’m going to get chinese tonight, i was like, WTF, lol, it was cool.

so yeah, Hw, maybe i’ll get to it yet tonight, i dunno. i’m tired.

Feb 8, 2001

so it’s been a long day. last night was

really good though i talked to danny for like 3 hours, 3 and a half i dunno,

it was long, but really nice. i love talking to him, he’s got the cutetest

voice, lol. i just wanna kiss him everytime he talks, lol. but yeah, it was

cool. we talked tell well after midnight and then i just layed there in bed

thinking. bout him, bout what we talked about, it was some pretty cool stuff,

lol. but i can’t imagine myself at 60 and still listening to the same type

of music that we currently listen too, lol. but yeah, i’m so fucking tired,

i got maybe 3 hours of sleep, which isn’t much for me considering i ususally

get a full 6 hours min. lol. what a dork i know, but you don’t want to know

me if i don’t get enough sleep. lol. i can get reallly pissy, very easily.

lol. it’s snowing here again, damn snow, we’ve got like 8 inches in the last

couple days and it’s supposed to keep snowing all day today and trough tomorrow.

yucky. i think i should take a nap, but then my thought process

will get fucked up. you know, you take a nap in the middle of the day. and

then when you wake up it’s like is this morning of the next day or night of

the same day. andi just get really messed. i’m to tired to explain it. i wish

i could go to philly so bad. i really do.

Feb 6, 2001

so i just got out of my first class for the day, american

government, and today we had this debate all day and he just trough out subjects,

one of them was gay marriage. you would not beleive what some of these people

said. he phrased the question so it was more of for government tax purposes

etc, you know. but these people are so fucking stupid. they were like “churches

don’t recongnize them.” and people were just being all stupid. one person

even said “they’re fags who cares” and people fucking laughed at

that. i was bout ready to scream. but i didn’t. AHHHHHH, this is one fucked

up state. ok so today, well lately, i’ve been really depressed. again. i don’t

know it’s like i go into and come out of these things. i have so much Hw to

do, but i don’t want to do it, cause it’s all busy work. i have to type up

that bill for that stupid class yet, and i have to change the damn program

now, that stupid bastard. and i have to read four chapters in american gov,

and read a chapter and do some HW in accoungint. i wanna talk to danny. i

wish i had money, i wish i could just say screw this semester and go out there

and get a job or something. this state is really getting to me again. people.

people are strange, i think that hink this morning just really set me off

again. but i’ve been depressed alot for the last couple days. i think i’m

hooked on danny and his voice. t’s so sweet and cute. and i love the way he

says nuttin, it’s so damn cute. lol. and he knows it lol. i’m so out of it today. it’s like i keep thinking it’s wed and it’s not it’s only tues and

shit. i’m going to my cousins on the 16th. that should be ok, i don’t know

what we’ll do though. and then i get back on the 19th and danny leaves on

the 19th for i think he said just a couple days but then he’ll be leaving

again so it’ll be like a whole week before i get to see or talk tohim really.

i’m so sad. people annoy me. roomies are assholes too. just so you know. i

can’t wait tell iget out of here. oh hey did i mention that i got accepter

to UNL. but i don’t know if i’ll go there, i would rather go to cali. ya know

i don’t get my PU’s over christmas they were like. if you want to go to an

out of state school you’ll have to start paying 60% of the tution, but they

they were like, but this is the time to get out of here if you want to. i

was like WTF? so your limiting where i can go, but you’re telling me that

this is “the time” to get out, cause “later i’ll have a family

and it will be hard to move” damnit, i sofucking want to tell them. but

i know that’ll really put a cap on my college payments, lol. i was talkig

to my mom on the phone the other night, it was just after i hung up from danny

and i was in a really good mood. and she’s like “why you so happy”

and i just wanted so bad to tell here “cause i just got off the phone

with someone i really love” but i can’t damnit. but you know i called

him the other day, so i’m going to have to come up with some explaination

for that. hmmm. wonder what i’ll do.

Feb 5, 2001

so yeah, teachers are ass holes. i’ve got this one teacher

for programming, and he doesn’t know how to program. bastard. you know one

of the major things they teach in programming classes is that there’s more

then one way to find the answer to a problem. well i took a different route

then the rest of the class, not the most efficient route, no, but it was different,

and that’s one of the things that i think makes programming fun, is finding

different ways to fix the problem, well you know what the bastard did, cause

i was differnt, he took 5 points off my assingment, the fucker. mother fucking

bastard, last time he took points of cause i didn’t follow the “proper”

programming techniques, they claim that we should use prefixes for our variales,

like “int” for integer, “chr” for char, “str”

for string, etc. you know that just makes it harder for me to program cause

i don’tgive a fuck about the damn prefixes, i just want to call them like

adder, for something that adds, and thingy for temp variables, i know what

they do, and it’s not that hard to figure out what they do, cause for things

that are used alot i use things that make sence. like statenames, for something

that stores state names. bastard, i fucking hate him. he doesn’t really know

what programming is, he has a fucking Ph.D. in history, why the fuck is he

teaching programming? bastrad. ok so some good things happen too. this weekend

was so great, i spent tons of time on the phone with danny, it was so nice.

i love his voice. but satnight i was really depressed. it was really pretty

here, there was low cloud cover and the lights from the city were just lighting

everything up, it looked like there was a full moon, i love night like that.

and i was so depressed cause i wanted him here to share it with, damnit. hehe,

and then there was this time he was at the mall and called, and he was like

‘wanna talk to my parents” and i was like no. hehe, that would have been

funny shit. lol. but we lost internet connection here for a bit and i was

in the middle of talking to him online when it happened. so i was like “FUCK

i don’t want him thinking i just left” so i came back to my room and

looked up my access code and called the “old” number i had for him,

and sure enough he answered, hehe, that was funny, hope i didn’t get him in

too much trouble, he said he told his PU’s i was just a friend, so yeah. lol.

that was great, i finally got to surprise him for once, lol. but yeah, it’s

been a good weekend, i got all my accounting done, and then i wrote the next

program, following EVERY fucking thing that we are supposed to do, so if this

bastard fucking docks points i’m going to be one pissed off mother fucker.

lol. i sitll have to write that bill that’s due on thurs. but that shouldn’t

be to hard. yeah. ya know my roomie is really starting to piss me off to.

he’s been sleeping tell like 5 in the afternoon and it really sucks cause

i can’t listen to my music or open the curtians or anything, damnit. he missed

all his classes today, hehe, i hope he gets in trouble for it, he’s on Academic

probation, so he can’t miss any classes lol.

Feb 2, 2001

So it’s a new month, eh. i almost missed it and put this

update on the wrong page,opps. well it’s been a pretty boring week round here.

classes are boring, people are boring, everything i boring. we had to move

our cars today out of the “campus proper” cause they are under a

snow alert, so they can plow everything out from that big storm we had. i

think it would have just been easier to just leave the snow and let it melt,

but o well. it took me a hour and a hlaf to dig my fucking car out and we

had three people pushing it, damnthing. then i went and helped some friends

dig there cars out, so yeah, i was outside for alomost 2 and a hlaf hours

without gloves or a hat, my hands are still frozen, i can’t hardly type at

the moment. it’ really sucked. and they are sayin we should get like 20 more

inches of snow by next thurs. YUCKY. someone tell my why i moved to this state?

damnit. and then itried to get REdhat 6.2 to install and the fucker won’t

do it. bitch machine. 7.0 won’t see the fucking network, so i’m trying o hunt

someone down with mandrake to see if it works. ARG. the other night danny

called, we had a really nice talk,for like 2 hour or so i don’t remember it

was long. after we hung up i jsut layed there and thought bout him. wishing

oooh so much that he were here, and not so far away. there’s some valentines

day dance coming up. i wish he were here to go with me. well my hands are

still really cold and it’s hard to type so i’m going to go take a shower and

stuff. ok so i’m back, the shower was nice i was in there for like 30 minutes,

lol. but yeah, so my roomie and his gf have been overly nice to me lately.

like tonight his gf asked if i wanted to go to a kegger, i was like no, i

hate drinking and people that drink scare me. but yeah. and like just now

my roomie came in and was like “you need anything from the store”

and i was like WTF? where did that come from? and his gf has been alot of

time in here talking to me. it’s like what? go away. it’s just weird, hmm.

maybe it’s a conspiracy or something. yeah, maybe that’s it. what do you think?

o btw, danny just called, second time tonight, hehe. he was out with his friends

and called on a payphone. it’s so funny, he was talking about these sweaters

he was going to buy, one was like $175. i was like WTF? the most expensive

sweater ihave was $70 and i got it for 70% off that so yeah. gotta love kohls, lol.