Author: Cj B

Retarted People!

Ugh!

So today I signed up at one of those sites to get dealer quotes on an Audi A3. So far out of the 3 that I signed up to get quotes from 2 have called.. When I specifically SAID to E-mail ONLY!

So when they call and say, “This is so and so from Such and Such Audi dealer”.. I say. “I asked that you follow up through e-mail” and then I hang up.

Very entertaining for me.

Today has been….. Strange, to say the least. I’m having dinner with Andrew tonight.

I’ve been busy today reverse engineering a 444 table database. It’s, Strange to say the least.

Private: The first time my boyfriend and I had sex, it was because of Golden Girls.

Wow, so the last day has been really really strange.

First I post that thing about what Andrew wrote in his journal. I forgot that he was still on my friends list. So he sent me the following e-mail:

You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me. Ever since Steve’s journal and then going and reading your journal I’ve just about been out of my mind.

And the reason you couldn’t find Steve’s thing is because he deleted it shortly after he wrote it. I just happened to see it in like the hour that it was up.

To which I replied:

Thanks for e-mailing me.

I’m not really afraid to talk to you, just that since you’ve been back. I had tried calling you a few times (and no, not the drunk times) and you never returned my calls. I figured that meant you didn’t want to talk to me. Then after the drunk call and your refusal to respond to that I figured it really was the end and time to leave it alone.

Why have you been out of your mind? And who was it that I went out with that’s an Ex, just curios, if it bothers him that much I’ll not do it again.

And you’re right, #2 is not me. There’s been a lot of changes for the worse since Austin, I’m working on changing those now.

Then he said:

Well, I don’t recall getting any phone calls since I’ve been back. And if my phone has been off, I haven’t gotten any messages.

I’ve been out of my mind b/c of the stuff I read. I found myself jealous when reading about your sleeping with that straight guy or whatever, and feeling sympathy about your stuff with Austin. It really made me confused, and I don’t know what to think.

To which I replied:

I think i left you one message and called you once and you didn’t answer. Either way, that’s all behind me now, so I’m not really concerned about it.

I’ve found myself jealous since you’ve been back, you were here what a week before you found a boyfriend? And here I’ve been working my ass off to try and find one and nothing works.

Where to go from here, I’m not sure. I’d like to be friends again, I really miss hanging out with you, but I don’t want to cause problems with your life at Chapman any more then I have in the past.

And then last night I get a myspace message from Steve:

I know we haven’t met. I’m Steve, I was with Andrew. I know your probably throwing me a big “f-you” right now. But, I would actually like to talk with you. Nothing serious or vindictive or with malicious motives. I just want to talk. This sounds ridiculous, I know. But if you would like to talk, I’d be more than willing. And please, don’t let Andrew get word of this message, be it directly or in blog form. He and I are done, but I would prefer that he not know about this anyways. If you disregard this message, I completely understand.

So then now I feel bad because I don’t want to cause any more problems with Andrew’s life. I was finially moving on from not being his friend any more, etc. I’m glad that Andrew e-mailed me, perhaps this will be a start of our friendship again. But I’m sad that things ended between he and Steve, mostly because I don’t want to be the cause of it.

Jon e-mailed me as well and said that he wants to hang out on Thursday so that’s exciting!

It rained all night last night and it was so pretty and relaxing. I so didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I just wanted to lay there and listen to it rain. Sadly it’s stopped now. 🙁

Private: I Remember Feeling Like That.

From Steve’s Blog: I must admit, Im in a great mood right now. Yesterday, I took Andrew out on a not-so-adventureous adventure to the mountains. I haven’t been to the mountains in years and I figured Andrew has never been to the so-cal mountains before, so it seemed like it would be fun. One the way there, I had to stop by my house to get some money. Andrew met my mom and Stepfather. It wasn’t really much of a meeting, it was just a meet and greet situation. I got money, grabbed snacks, and we went on our way. I figured all the major mountains would be ridiculously busy (e.g. Lake Arrowhead, Big Bear, etc…), so I opted for a cheaper and closer alternative, Mt. Baldy. The drive up wasn’t that bad; it only took about 45 minutes. As we were approaching Mt. Baldy, I was getting worried as the mountains looked to be barren of snow. Leave it to me to find the one mountain range that didn’t have snow… Anyways, I have a great uncle that lives at the base of the mountain with his family. Andrew and I stopped by his house to say hi and get directions to the mountain village. Side note, my uncle bobby and his family are outrageous and crude usually. But this time, he was pretty low key. I think he was just tired. So, we left and continued towards the snow-less mountain. We went about 15 minutes, away from my uncle’s house and then we saw cars coming back with snow on the hoods. I was sooooo relieved; my date wouldnt be a flop afterall. We kept going higher and higher through mount Baldy and then it started to rain, hail, then snow. I have never seen snow fall and I have also never driven in the snow. I was so nervous, but I tried to contain myself as to not freak out Andrew. We parked the car and started our mini-adventure. It was amazing. The trees were covered in snow and it was white everywhere. sigh. We hiked for a little bit, threw snowballs, made a sordid snow angel, and a stumpy snowman. After those shenanigans,, we hiked to a cliff that overlooked a brook. Watching him catch snowflakes on his tongue made me feel good beyond words. Being there next to him in the snow made me forget about that one weekend. I felt great. I couldn’t help staring at him. It was just amazing to have him hold me and kiss me on that ledge as the snow fell on us. We went back to the car and warmed up, wink wink. We were famished so I tried to find a nice restaurant. We saw a sign for “Top Notch Restaurant-great scenic views and food.” I drove my poor mustang further up the mountain and grimaced through every sharp inclined turn. It turns out, the restaurant was at the top of the mountain; the only way to get there is to pay $25 a person for the ski lifts. So, we left and explored other options. On the way down, we saw a little snack cabin. We walked in and then walked out. It was really shady looking. The snack bar was in someone’s house, weird mountain people’s house… We left the snow and went back to my uncles. He made us sandwiches free of charge and we all watched golf. Oh, my aunt Yolanda (my uncle’s wife) forgot Andrews name and referred to him as “the other one.” God she is adorable, and forgets things easily. After all, she is like 74 years old. We drove back to his room and cuddled for a while and then fell asleep. It was the best nap I’ve ever had.

Private: The Weird Stuff

From Andrew’s Blog:Ok, so the weird stuff. A week or two ago my mom told me that she had a phone conversation with Chris, and that he is really sad and whatnot. I don’t know why this made me feel so weird, but it did. Probably because she’s my own mother. But also because I had had a dream that involved my mom and Chris and I told steve and jokingly said that when I talk to my mom, she’ll bring up Chris. And then when I called her, she was like “I have to talk to you about Chris” it was really weird. So that was that really.

But then Steve (if you go to his LJ, you can see elaboration) found out that Chris hung out with one of his exes, and it seems to be getting at him for some reason. But then he wrote that he went to Chris’ journal and read it and looked at pictures of us together, and he wrote that Chris obviously still loves me. So then, of course I’m too curious for my own good, so I broke my promise to myself and went to Chris’ journal and just scanned through it. Several interseting things: 1. I’m not sure what Steve was talking about, b/c I barely found references to me, and most of them weren’t too positive, 2. it seems as Chris has become some sort of so-cal homo, going to clubs and drinking a lot, which is just strange cause it’s so not him, and 3. from the looks of my skimming, it seemed like Chris was also in some fairly awful relationships. I don’t know why, but the whole situation has been on my mind now. So I don’t really know. It was really weird being back to Chris’ website after not going there for so long. I used to go there a million times a day. It still felt.. familiar.

I really want to call him and talk to him about this shit. I still want to be friends with him. He’s the one who ended it all. God damnit.