Wow, so the last day has been really really strange.
First I post that thing about what Andrew wrote in his journal. I forgot that he was still on my friends list. So he sent me the following e-mail:
You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me. Ever since Steve’s journal and then going and reading your journal I’ve just about been out of my mind.
And the reason you couldn’t find Steve’s thing is because he deleted it shortly after he wrote it. I just happened to see it in like the hour that it was up.
To which I replied:
Thanks for e-mailing me.
I’m not really afraid to talk to you, just that since you’ve been back. I had tried calling you a few times (and no, not the drunk times) and you never returned my calls. I figured that meant you didn’t want to talk to me. Then after the drunk call and your refusal to respond to that I figured it really was the end and time to leave it alone.
Why have you been out of your mind? And who was it that I went out with that’s an Ex, just curios, if it bothers him that much I’ll not do it again.
And you’re right, #2 is not me. There’s been a lot of changes for the worse since Austin, I’m working on changing those now.
Then he said:
Well, I don’t recall getting any phone calls since I’ve been back. And if my phone has been off, I haven’t gotten any messages.
I’ve been out of my mind b/c of the stuff I read. I found myself jealous when reading about your sleeping with that straight guy or whatever, and feeling sympathy about your stuff with Austin. It really made me confused, and I don’t know what to think.
To which I replied:
I think i left you one message and called you once and you didn’t answer. Either way, that’s all behind me now, so I’m not really concerned about it.
I’ve found myself jealous since you’ve been back, you were here what a week before you found a boyfriend? And here I’ve been working my ass off to try and find one and nothing works.
Where to go from here, I’m not sure. I’d like to be friends again, I really miss hanging out with you, but I don’t want to cause problems with your life at Chapman any more then I have in the past.
And then last night I get a myspace message from Steve:
I know we haven’t met. I’m Steve, I was with Andrew. I know your probably throwing me a big “f-you” right now. But, I would actually like to talk with you. Nothing serious or vindictive or with malicious motives. I just want to talk. This sounds ridiculous, I know. But if you would like to talk, I’d be more than willing. And please, don’t let Andrew get word of this message, be it directly or in blog form. He and I are done, but I would prefer that he not know about this anyways. If you disregard this message, I completely understand.
So then now I feel bad because I don’t want to cause any more problems with Andrew’s life. I was finially moving on from not being his friend any more, etc. I’m glad that Andrew e-mailed me, perhaps this will be a start of our friendship again. But I’m sad that things ended between he and Steve, mostly because I don’t want to be the cause of it.
Jon e-mailed me as well and said that he wants to hang out on Thursday so that’s exciting!
It rained all night last night and it was so pretty and relaxing. I so didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I just wanted to lay there and listen to it rain. Sadly it’s stopped now. 🙁