Well, something upset me today.
In reading Chris’ journal from 2 years ago, I got upset with the stuff he had about Adam. Allt his stuff about being together forever.. pushing Arizona back to 2007…. talking about how great he is. ANd int he old journals, he always talks about how great Adam is, and how happy he is with him, and this and that, and that he’s just so wonderful and he loves to sit and talk to him.
I love you Adam. I’ll never let you go. You’ll always be on my mind. You’ll always be missed, every second we’re apart, your smile, your voice, you. You will always be with me, every where I go. I love you Adam.
That upset me the most. It is upsetting not only b/c he felt that way towards Adam, but also because he never wrote anything in his journal like that about me. There is nothing saying how much he loves me… nothing like what he used to write about Adam. And I guess I’m jealous. I just like to think that I’m a better b/f…. but sometimes the journal makes it seem like I’m not. Adam never did anything for him… I try to do everything. Adam was just an all around bad boyfriend, and I’d like to think I’m not…
It just upsets me, even though it’s stupid. i really should stop reading those 2 year ago ones. They just make me sad everysingle time I read them.