Month: August 2003

Ok, so this’ll be a private update, mostly because I don’t know how much info will get released…

Yesterday was pretty good. I spent the day working and worked alot.

I got a shit load of stuff done. Finally got that user account info that I wanted, and a few other things done. Spent a lot of time on Vermont, etc.

Went home and watched Gilmore girls while I spent some time unpacking a large box of shit that I took from home. After that it was Boy Meets Boy and then Queer Eye.

I didn’t really get to see too much of them though because I was uber excited about Andrew’s possible news of him wanting to switch colleges. He said that he might want to go somewhere else after a semester, or so. And currently he said that he his top pick is SDSU. Which is where I applied to, and REALLY wanted to get into.

Also that job offer, etc was there. lol.

I have also been thinking about that a lot lately, about where I want to move when I graduate, and that was my first choice. So it’s exciting that perhaps, and I think right now it’s a BIG perhaps because SDSU is hard to get into, that Andrew and I might end up in the same city a year from now.

Now, hopefully this talk tonight goes well. I really want to just hurry up and get it over with, so that I can be heartbroken faster. I’ve been dreading it all day. I know that it’s going to be bad.

I still have yet to make up my mind as to what I want with it all. I see the positives and the negatives on both sides, really. And it’ll be hard no matter what happens.

I don’t really want to get into my thinking of the whole situation here though incase he reads it before we have the talk.

And what’s even harder is that he keeps sending mixed signals about what he wants… If only he would send ONE Signal so that I could prepare myself properly!

In other news, today’s been emotionally hard. I’ve had a couple break downs in my office, tears and all were involved. Nothing too bad. Though I think the Thursday after I get back it will be.

I just can’t believe that the summer is coming to a close so quickly. It seems like just a few weeks ago that Andrew and I hooked up, that all the drama happened with Adam. Where’d my summer go, and what the hell did I do with it all…

Oh, I worked and went to school. Sure I had a TON of great memories with Andrew… Things that I’ll never forget. But my summer was pretty much wasted working away. I don’t see how people can do it. The whole coporate thing. It just sucks.

Anyways, I’m done bitching.

Lates all.

(I’ve always wanted to use that Drunk Icon. I know, I know you should use it when you ARE drunk, but whatever, it’s practically the same!)

Ok, well I guess since I have nothing to do, I’ll go ahead and get started on this. Though I have a feeling it’ll be a long one as well.

First off, Thursday night.

It was tons of fun to get drunk for the first time, though I felt a bit stupid about the whole thing. And just a tad upset/scared about it all. I don’t know really how to explain it, and I complained enough about it all in the previous post entitled “Your History” to I won’t go into it here again. It really isn’t that big of a deal, and has already consumed more then enough space.

Anyways, I did have a ton of fun, and we were UBER scandalous that night. We were laying in bed and Apparently Andrew was really horny. And he kept trying to talk me into making love there in Bryce’s living room. I kept saying “NO” because it would have been way to loud and very not cool. But he kept up and I eventually let in and we did it. It was kinda hard at first, so I went and searched through the bathroom and found some lotion to use.

I’ll have to admit that it was really hot.

But I would like to say that I don’t think I was really all that drunk there, I mean yeah. I do know that I WAS drunk, I just don’t think I was as drunk as he thinks that I was. By the time we were getting ready to go to bed, I was feeling fine. I also don’t see how people can get so drunk that they don’t know what they are doing, I was very aware the whole time of what I was doing.

Friday was really good tell that night. I was just very annoyed and with him being a bitch to me in the car that just really set me off. All I was trying to do was be comforting and nice, and he was just flat out rude to me. And then as soon as we walked into the Bowling alley he was all happy go lucky. I was just really annoyed.

I will have to say that it’s very sad that our first fight was over something so stupid really. But I can see why it happened, we were both very tired from the lack of sleep the night before, and we are both very stressed out about everything. Though he’s more so than I.

Saturday was good, very scandalous again because as we were waiting for his sister to call we got the bright Idea that we could get in a quickie. lol. That really didn’t work out so well because as we were switching posistions she called and said she’d be there in like 10 minutes… So we dicided to do a quick jack, and both of us came in like 2 minutes. She called just as we were finishing up saying she was in the parking lot.

Sunday was good too, the whole Reiman gardens thing upset me a bit, not upset as in mad, but upset as in sad. I think the thing on the to pof my list was to go to Reiman gardens, it’s what I had planned for this Wed. Had he not been working.

After that we went home and just hung out, it was really nice. We eneded up making love again. It was very great. Three times in as many days… Perhaps we should go back and tell Bryce that gay guys do get more! lol. Anyways, it was really nice, and it means a lot to be every time we do it… Even when he was just drunk! 😛

Once we were done with that we ate, and he was packing up and said that he was going to play some video games. I asked him not too and to just lay on the bed for a while. Which we did. We talked and it came up that last night was the last time that he’d be in my apartment. That just really hit me hard and I started crying. I really didn’t want to, I want to minimize the amount of crying we, or at least I, do this week. Though now that they’ve started, I think it’ll be pretty hard for them to stop.

We talked and he did a really good job of chearing me up, which just made me sadder because he is so wonderful and he’s such a cutie, and his chearing me up. He did some of the things that are just unique to him, and it made me realize how sad I’ll be when I can’t see him make those crazy faces, and those wierd voices he always uses to relay his emotions.

Ok, I have to stop there or else I’ll begin another cry fest, in my office…

Perhaps more once I get home and can cry uncontrollably in my own office.