Tag: movie

July 25, 2001

July 25, [S Club 7, "I Really Miss You"]

Gay boys and teenage girls have this much in common: both take a long time

to get ready to go out, and both love going to malls.

In fact, malls have become the convergence point of modern America: brightly

lit and often discounted melting pots of commerce, cash machines, and culture.

So imagine my surprise at my local mall recently, in suburban Des Moines,

when I saw two 16-year-old boys walking around holding hands. Picking my

jaw up off the floor, I looked around for a camera, thinking there must

be a movie filming. But there was no camera. This was real life.

I shadowed them for a time, thinking they were, by example, making fun

of gay people. But no – as I watched them move in and out of The Gap and

Structure, I could tell the handholding was genuine, and I was awestruck

at the simple act.

They were not alone, but were part of a group of teenagers, mixed male

and female, including at least one obvious heterosexual pairing. They all

laughed together, walked around together, made fun of each other, and shared

both a common voice and common ground. It was a remarkable and moving sight,

and one that I did not expect to see.

Wasn’t it just a few years ago that Matthew Shepard was tied to a fence

post? And isn’t this the generation that is making Eminem a vastly popular

hate-monger?

So many questions ran though my head: Was this an anomaly? Could it be

some extended social science class project? Or have we been Will & Graced

enough to break though some of the last barriers that separate the gay community

from the straight community? Are incoming High School students now so comfortable

being who they are that they will feel no need to politicize themselves

for the cause? Is it simpler to "just do it" than to debate it

forever?

There were other eyes following my two young men around the mall as well,

especially those of older, married couples who did double takes [and in

some cases , triple takes[ at the sight of two 16-year-olds boys doing no

more, or less, then they were doing themselves. I walked slowly and listened

to some of the comments. They were not all positive, yet they were not all

negative either. Said one sixty-ish woman to her husband, "It’s just

like your brother. Let them be happy."

Some people shook their heads as they walked by, while other stiffened

and refused to look at all, but their eyes betrayed them. You could tell

then had noticed and were unnerved by the sight. The boys themselves seemed

oblivious to the ruckus they were causing by just holding hands, feeding

each other ice cream at D.Q., or by holding up a leather jacket to one another

to share opinions on it’s style.

I wondered if they faced persecution by anyone at their school, or if they

surrounded themselves with this small group of friends who understand and

are supportive. How do other boys react? Do their parents know their children

are having a profound impact on people who cross their paths? And do these

boys know what they may have to face in their future by being so completely

honest in the present?

We hear how cool it is to be gay in high school these days, but in fact

thiswas the first conclusive evidence I had seen to support that urban legend.

Maybe it is true. I hope it is.

I lost the group somewhere near Sam Goody, where a sign announced that

MTV was sponsoring a yearlong examination of hate crimes, urging their viewers’

acceptance of other races, religions, and preferences. And it occurred to

me as I stood there in the mall, that we are at a pivotal moment in out

times when a media outlet aimed at youth had the foresight to promote tolerance,

and young people respond with simpler acts of kindness and affection for

one another.

Having been around more teenagers in the last year then I had been for

a few years had been quite enlightening for me, and in mostly a positive

way. For some time I’ve been an advocate of the idea that the current generation

of 16-year-olds is set to take a big step toward compassion for all lifestyles.

Although we aren’t completely there yet, I’m happy to see that those steps

have been taken out of a conceptual stage and into the malls of middle America-possibly.

The most unlikely yet brilliant common battlefield of all.

-Thomas Long

July 24, 2001 #2

July 24, #2 [O Town, "Baby I Would"]

Alright, so I’m getting ready for a switch over to blogger and fateback.

I’ve got most of my pages switched over to the new format and templates

so I’m thinking I’m about ready to go once I figure out the archives in

Blogger and a way to implement them with the current system that I have.

So yeah, get ready for the move, and also be patient if there’s any down

time in the pages.

In other news, Adam, Ang, and I hung out tonight. We started the nights

at Ang’s. Just me and her. Adam got there about 8. I was trying really hard

to hold back tears. A few of them got out, but all in all it was fair times

there. We watched, "What Women Want." It’s an ok movie, it moved

a little slow for me though. Adam and I had a talk there, and that was nice.

There’s still alot that we need to talk about. But it was really nice to

talk to him there. One of the things that I still need to talk with him

about is what are we going to do for now. I mean obviously we’re going to

be around each other during this time that he’s taking to find himself.

But if we keep going like we have been the last two days, I’m going to go

insane. If we’re going to be in a relationship yet. I would like to be able

to at least hold hands while we’re out, or hug and stuff. But if he’s going

to be uncomfortalbe with that, or thinks that that won’t help him, then

I’m also fine with giving that up some. Or at least for the time being.

I don’t realy know how long I’d be able to do this. But at the same time

I know he has to have his time, it’s not an overnight process, and I don’t

want to push him at all. And I also don’t want this relationship to end.

I feel as though I’m being selfish. By asking if I can hold his hand or

hug him in public while he’s in this time of his life.

Ok well after the movie we went out to the loop, we ran into Ben from our

HS there. He’s not gay but he was down there and that really freaked me

out. I felt really out of place down there tonight. I don’t know what’s

up. I’ve felt out of place in most places lately. I felt out of place at

Angie’s, I felt out of place when we were at Adam’s for that short amount

of time, I felt out of place at the loop. I’m thinking that vacation would

do me good right now, or maybe just a hermatage, ( I think that’s the word

I’m looking for ). But I really need the money, so I don’t think that I’ll

go on vacation with my family. I don’t really know what’s been wrong with

me lately. Well not even lately. Actually, I’ve felt out of it for a long time. Like I don’t really belong here. Like sometimes, people just hang

out with me cause I’m there. Or that people just call me cause they want

someone else there, not cause I’m fun to be around, or cause they really

like me for who I am. I also feel as though I’ve been a total asshole to

people over like the last week or so, especially to the person that means

the most to me right now. I so don’t want to lose anyone. Things in life

just haven’t been going my way lately, and I feel really bad.

July 22, 2001

July 22, Ok well i’m here at my G&G’s but i wanted to write this update before i forgot everything that’s happened in the last couple days. Well friday night i went over to zach’s cause that’s where we were meeting everyone. that was fun. we started out playing pool and then adam wanted to go hot tubbing, so ang and zach went there, i hadn’t brought my swim suit and i didn’t want to go naked so i didn’t go. i got alot of heat bout that, but oh well. i don’t really care. adam and xak both went naked and then adam got out and ran around naked in the back yard. i got a nice look at his ass, hehe, little did i know i’d get a closer look at it the next morning. but yeah. he did that and then we went inside and everyone changed and adam, ang, and i left to go over to adam’s house.

we got there and we wanted to watch movies, adam didn’t have anything good, so we went over to leah’s house and found some, we got nightmare before christmas and some other one, but we didn’t get around to watching it. but we watched it and had fun. it’s such a great movie. then about 2 am or so we went to bed. it started out, i was nedxt to the wall, adam was in the middle and angie was on the edge. well we tried that for a while, but adam got to hot, so adam and ang switched spots. i didn’t like that as much, but adam was hot, so yeah. it worked. i dunno. well we laid like that for a while, and of course no one got to sleep cause we kept talking about random things. then i had to get up to go to the bathroom and when i got back i found my spot occupied so i was on the edge of the bed. i liked it there better anyhow, so i slept. i don’t know when they got to sleep or anything. but yeah. i got some sleep.

i woke up about 9 or so to find adam laying next to me, that kinda freaked me out, but it was nice. i wraped my arms around him and went back to sleep cause ang didn’t have to leave tell 10:30. then about 10:20 or so i woke up again and i looked over and there was adam looking at me. it was so cute. i wanted to kiss him, but i had baaaaad morning breath, so i didn’t. lol. then the alarm went off so we all got out of bed and angie got her stuff and left.

after ang left adam and i were like, ok what now. well we got online and did some random stuff there. checked e-mail you know the normal stuff. then adam reached over and undid my belt and took it off. then he laid his head on my lap and we just sat there like that for a bit, listening to music. after a bit i was like, lets go in and sit on the couch, so adam put together a play list consisting of wonderwall and a few other songs that fit the mood very well. we went and laid on the couch, he had his arms wrapped around me and we were just laying there. he reached down and felt me though my pants, he was like you go boy. lol, it was funny. then he reached down and un zipped my pants. then we just laid there kissing a bit and hugging and talking.

July 8, 2001

July 8, [lifehouse, "unknown"] ok well today had just been wierd.

well i went to work at 3 like i was supposed to, and the afternoon went normal,

nothing really happened there. but then tonight about 10 after karen the manager

left, we started having problems. there’d been this kid in there for like

2 hours talking on the phone, and he finally left, but then a short biut after

he left a lady came in and said there was a kid in the parking lot with a

gun. and we were like ohhhhh shit, so we locked the store down and shit and

called the cops. well like 3 showed up and one DNR guy. there was a gun, but

it was just a pellet gun, so it was good. i saw it when they took it off the

kid and i was like, omg. it really did look real. they took care of that shit

and left. but then shortly after they left this other guy came in. he’d been

in there all day and had just left when the cops started showing up. but he’s

in there all the time. but yeah ok well the lady that was working was like,

i don’t want to be left here alone with that guy and i was like, neither do

i. so i stayed and we called the cops on him to have him removed cause we

had talked to dustin the local cop before he left about him being in there

cause he was there for a LONG time today. but the shierff showed up and they

hung out there tell dustin got done processing that kid with the gun. and

then dustin came back and i don’t really know what happened, but i’m guessin

he just gave him a ticket or something, but he got him out of there. so yeah,

fun and excitment at kum and go. by the time i got out of there it wa too

late to go out, so i was just like, alright, i’m stayin here, so i called

vero and told them. i wanted to go out tonight. i was really in a mood to

go with people, but by the time i got out of kum and go and got home to change

it would have been 12 already and yeah, that would of only given me like 30

minutes before people would have started wanting to go home. so yeah. that’s

the story for tonight. dean and i talked for a bit too. hehe we were talking

about the whole july 15th road trip and i guess he asked jules if he wanted

to stay and dean’s apartment and he was asking me if adam and i wanted to

stay too, and i’m cool with it, but we’ll have to run it past adma’s parents

too. that could be a bit of a problem, but it would be a good place for us

all to watch movies, you know QaF. cause we could borrow jules DVD player

and stuff. yeah. i think this road trip will be really fun shit. ok i’m relaly

tired so i’m going to head to bed, night all

July 7, 2001

july 7,[cherry poppin’ daddies, "ding-dong daddy"] ok well tonight’s

and today have just been complete opposites, but overall today has been sooooooooo

great. ok well this morning i

was in my room laying on the floor playing with my cat, my dad comes bursting

into my room and yells at me "get those damn magazines out of here so

andy can’t find them" and i said to him "well teach him not to search

through other peoples things and he won’t find them" and my dad said,

"well that’s not the problem" and i just wanted to scream at him

that that was the problem. and that my being gay isn’t the problem. they don’t

go to my brother and tell him he has to get rid of all the mags that he has

that have heterosexual things, cause what if i find them, i might get ideas

and all you know. but yeah, he ended with saying "if you don’t take care

of them i will" which means he’ll throw them away. i hid them under my

bed, they should be safe there. so yeah, bad vibes from my parents today.

this afternoon though i went out swimming and mandy showed up at my house,

she wanted me to come into work and i was like, well why the hell doesn’t

the manager come in and work, she’s the one that has to cover if someone doesn’t

show up. but mandy kept being persistant and i was like, well she caught me

in the pool. so it’s not like i can lie to her and say i’m busy. and she was

acting like it was damn busy there and they needed the help desperately. so

i got out, went inside to dress and while i was dressing my grandma got here,

so i talked to her a bit. and such. then i went to work, i get there and there’s

three employees standing there doing nothing and i was like, ok please tell

me it’s just a lule and it’s been really busy today. and they were like no,

it’s been like this all day and i was like, god damnit, why the fuck did you

come and get my from my house on my day off when you had enough people already

fucking working. damnit. grrr. i was just pissed about that. but i got 13

hours of over time now, so i guess that’s okey. then after work i called adam

and he came over and went swimming. we talked, it was good times. then we

came in and watched a movie. my mom was still up when we started the movie.

and adam and i were sitting very close and holding hands, so yeah i would

hope that she knows that we are a couple. hehe. then she left and by the end

of the movie i was laying in adam’s lap and he had his hand on my chest. it

was soooooo great. i was like in heaven. i was soooooo happy. i really like

adam. i do 🙂 it’s like yeah, the first time someone’s ever touched me like

that, you know, someone that likes me, and yeah. ok ya know, now that i know

that he’s going to read this, i feel as though i can’t relaly write it here. i dunno, it’s wierd, i’m still going to write my feelings here, but it’s wierd

knowing that he knows what i’m thinking, i dunno. i’m leaving before i dig

an even bigger hole, night all