Tag: Mac

Christmas #2

Well, two Christmas’ down, only two more left to go. Today was actually pretty good for being around a bunch of old, annoying, farmers. I just kinda sat downstairs and watched people play pool. It was alright. I got an alarm clock today, which is good cause I’ve been needing one and I’ve just been to lazy to buy myself one. Steve was there too. I know this sounds bad, but he is really hot.

Other then that not much else going on yet today. Adam and I talked a bit and we were able to get a ew hours together tonight. Hopefully his mom won’t stay and talk for hours on end, cause if she does that then we won’t get those few hours together. So yeah, it’s all on her now. lol

La la la. I’m off to spend some money that I don’t have cause I need a real modem for my machine and not one of these stupid ass WinModems.

Nov 29, 2001

Nov 29, [Bob Seger, "We’ve Got Tonight"]

I got Redhat 7.2 burned today, so I’m installing that now. I still want

to get SuSe 7.3 but I can only find 7.1 ISO’s and I don’t want to download

all the RPM’s for it. Grrr at that. Oh well. Redhat’s nice. And that’s what

we use at work, so I’m used to it.

Not much has really been going on today. I took a quiz in Accounting and

Math today, and they both sucks ass. I’m going to have to really study for

the finals. Speaking of finals I got my schedule all figured out for that.

I’ve got two finals Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and one Friday morning. So

I figure I’ll come back Monday night, stay here Mon, Tues nights and then

go home after my final on Wed then come back up here for the final Friday

morning. I think it’ll work. Cause my biggest finals are on Tues, Wed and

the final on Fri is for English, I mean, what is she really going to test

us over? So yeah, that way I’ll have all day Monday, and Tuesday to study.

Good times. One thing that really sucks though is that I’ve got two finals

at 7:30 AM. Grrrr.

Adam learned of my BIGGEST annoyance last night. When he saw that I was

useing Greymatter now for my site, he goes "Julian Copier." The

thing that pisses me off most is to be called a copier, or a cheater, or

a lier, or something like that. So I went off on him about that. He appoligized

though, so it’s all good. We actually had a really long talk about alot

of things last night and it was good. I mean, we made some progress but

both he and I know there’s alot more that we have to talk about. Oh well,

we’ll get it.

Angels’ soon to return with Matt, that should be cool to finally get a

chance to meet him.

The Loop: Speaking of the holidays. My mom said that I could have a party

at our house over Christmas break. So I’m offering my house for a New Years

Party, e-mail me if that sounds cool, or, I’ll talk to everyone about it,

but before I forget here it is in writting. I figure we could watch movies

and shit, and people could stay over if they want. (We need to get the mailing

list back going).

Oh, so I went into work today, and was in my office working on some things

that I had to finish. Well the auditors are here this week and Nazanin came

in and was like, "We need the specs on every computer in the building

by noon today." Well it was already 10, and specs include:

  • CPU Speed
  • OS
  • # of Hd’s
  • Capacity on HD’s
  • What’s being backed up on the HD’s
  • Serial Numbers
  • Purchase Date
  • Location in the office
  • The computers name
  • The Manufature

So yeah, we’ve got like 50 machines in the building including Dec, SGI’s,

Win Boxes, Linux Boxes, Servers. And it’s like damnit Nazanin, you should

have told me about this Tuesday so I could have worked on it. So yeah, I

scurried around the office and got it all to them by 11:45. I was proud

of myself. lol

Nov 2, 2001

Nov 2, [Bush, "Altered States"]

Ok, so I bet everyone’s going. OMG it’s during the week and Chris hasn’t

updated in like 3 days. He must be sick or something. Well, good news is

that no, I’m not sick. But I have been REALLY REALLY busy lately. These

last three days just seem as though they’ve FLOWN past. And the thing is

that I don’t even remember what I’ve been doing mostly lately. I know Wed

I had a ton of meetings to go to during the day, but after about 6 I don’t

remember what I did. Heh, oh well. I’m sure I did something that kept me

from updating. Then yesterday I was in a mood to fix problems that I had

been putting of for every. So first thing I did was at work I got a few

machines up and running and purchased some things to get some others fixed.

Then I spent like an hour and half working on my DEC station, and I got

that up and running. Once I get the ports to it open I’ll give out some

e-mail accounts if anyone wants them. Wouldn’t it be sweet to have your_name@staturn.krellinst.org?

I think it is. lol. So then I came home, and I started working on some other

things, like firewalls, FTP and a few other really cool things, one of which

is the webcam that has now been added to my page. It uploads a picture every

30 seconds, so it’s cool. About 10 or so Sri came in and was like, so how

do you know if someone is connected to your compter, so I told him. He went

and did what I told him to and found out that someone had hacked into his

computer. So I got some information about the person, his IP and a few other

things, and did some reasearch on who it was for Sri. All I did was some

basic things, but he was really impressed. About 11 or so I finally realized

that it was 11, so I went to bed.

Today’s been really sucky so far. I went to my English class, and our assingment

for today was to block this essay, well I did it. So she was discussing

it in class and told us that she had blocked 1, 2-5, 6-11. And then she

asked me how I did it, well I blocked, 1-2, 3-5, 6, 7-11 together. And I

told her that, and she was like, "Why’d you put 6 by itself."

And it was one of those things where now that she had pointed it out, it

made more sense to put 6-11 together, and I really couldn’t remember why

I had put it like that, so I was looking through my notes to see why I had

done it that way. While I was looking through my notes she goes, (Is a really

snoty voice) "Well Chris apperantly didn’t do his homework." And

went on and asked the next person. Well he admitted that he didn’t do his

work and she goes "Well Chris and John didn’t do thier homework."

And I was like you bitch, that is not appropriate behavior for a teacher.

So after class I went up to her and handed her all my notes about the essay

(3 pages worth), handed her my book, opened to the essay, where I had written

a ton more notes in the text, and said, "That was relaly rude of you

to say, since you can see that I _HAVE_ done my homework." And thne

she went into this whole thing about and I just blocked her out cause she

was only pissing me off even more. And I told her again, (well a couple

times) that it was still a rude thing for her to do. Then she started trying

to appologize, and I was like, that’s not the thing, the thing is that you

need to see that that wasn’t appropriate behavior for a teacher. So I picked

up my stuff, and walked out the door. As I was walking out, she said "Well

Monday I’ll appologize for my behavior." Bitch

And then I just got back from my Soc class and of course the roomie is

in here playing this god damn video game, it’s one of those where you go

around and kill people. It annoys the hell out of me cause all the sound

that there is to it is just a bunch of gun fire and such. Gwar. And he was

sitting in the room with the door closed and the fan on again, and it’s

like, you know, if you just opened the fucking door, the wind would create

a natural breeze, and you wouldn’t have to have that loud fucking fan on.

GRRRR at everything. I don’t understand why he insists on having the door

shut.

Oct 24, 2001

Oct 24, [Elton John, "Can You Feel The Love Tonight"]

The trouble with intimacy is that it means vulnerability. Everyone wants

intimacy but few of us are very good at vulnerability We pay lip service

to "openness" and "trust," but usually these are mask

words which we use to hide ourselves and to keep others at bay. Get too

close to me and I’ll beat you over the heard with my openness and trust.

With the vocabulary provided by Freud and his followers, and the time provided

by increased leisure and life expectancy, our generation is the first in

history to set out self-consciously and in massive numbers to search for

the joys of intimacy. But there is no evidence that we have much progressed

over our predecessors in our skills at vulnerability. We attempt to make

bricks, despite the biblical lesson on the subject, without straw.

How much authentic vulnerability — as opposed to the synthetic kind acquired

on encounter weekends — have you observed on the expressway to intimacy?

The vulnerable person is strong enough to risk getting hurt — not pointlessly,

not irrationally, not as an inverted defense mechanism, but as part of a

reasonable if not altogether rational risk. He can give himself to another

human being not like a dive bomber crashing into an aircraft carrier or

like a Mack truck crumpling a Volkswagen, but rather in a gentle and subtle

process by which the other is incited, indeed seduced, to give himself in

return.

How many such people do you know?

The vulnerable person takes a chance on having his heart broken. He strips

himself of his defenses in the hope that when the other sees him as he is,

the other will find him irresistible. In such a defenseless position, he

can very easily be hurt, badly hurt.

Furthermore, he will be hurt. The lesson of all our experience is

that the vulnerable person does indeed have his heart broken, he is indeed

ridiculed, rejected, made a fool of. Sometimes the pain of such a heartbreak

is healed as reconciliation restores the violated intimacy. But only the

most naive believe that all stories have happy endings. Some broken hearts

remain broken.

Yet the deadly paradox of intimacy is that either we strip away our defenses

in a continuing process or we build them up in a similar process. We either

let the other get closer to us and thus get closer to him or we push each

other away. There is no middle ground. When push comes to shove, most of

us push instead of surrendering.

In our pseudosophisitcation we try to persuade ourselves that we are no

longer troubled by the shame of physical nudity. It is an act that normally

does not work. But physical nakedness is a symbol — indeed a "sacrament"

— of psychological nakedness. We are "shamed" when we take off

our clothes because we have nothing left under which to hide, nothing to

protect our weaknesses and deficiencies, we are defenseless, easily hurt.

Psychic nakedness is much more terrifying — and hence much less frequently

attempted. For if the other can see us as we are, then we are open to being

destroyed by him.

So we hedge our bets and protect our own apparent worthlessness. The cynical

"Why take the chance?" — rarely spoken but more a barrage of

words claiming that we are not afraid. It is all the other people who claim

to be "open and trusting" who are kidding themselves.

The theologians used to call this fear of the other "original sin."

The name may be out of fashion, but reality is not. Blessed be he who does

not take chances for he will not be hurt. Woe to him who risks giving his

whole self, for he surely will be hurt.

But then it may be worth it. And the name of that thought, according to

the old theologians, was Grace.

Oct 15, 2001

Oct 15, [Billy Joel, "Two Thousand Years"]

Ok, so today’s been really bloody busy. Gwar. It seems as though I’ve been

on the phone all bloody day. I went to classes this morning and they were

normal. Hot guy in Soc was there, I didn’t think he was there for like half

the class and then I look down and like two rows infront of me he’s sitting

there in a baseball cap. I was like, "YAY" he’s so hot. After

that I went and got did random things, mostly called people. All kinda of

people. I’ve now got a meeting on Monday at 6pm and I have a bunch of other

meetings going on this weekend and shit. Yep. Then I had to go to Math and

it was review day. Well his reviews never help so this guy that I know and

I just sat in class and talked and did problems out of the book all hour.

I think I really understand this stuff, so I should do pretty well on this

test. I hope I do at least. After that I went and got my new parking permit

and then I went a moved my car. I now have a KICK ASS parking spot. I mean

it’s sooooo cool. Yeah. Then I went to the Econ help room and they explained

a whole bunch of stuff and I thought I understood it, but then when I came

back to my room to do it, I didn’t so I’m going to go back there Wed and

maybe Thurs before the test and get some more help. Gwar to that. This teacher

guy wants us to know how to use the equations and stuff, but the book only

gives and talks about the concepts behind them, so if you don’t understand

it when he goes over it in class, you don’t understand it at all. Graw to

that, but it doesn’t help that I’ve missed two classes now, and I’m going

to miss tomorrows too cause of the Math test. I was going to go for like

15 minutes, but then I found out that my math test is on the oppisite side

of campus from where my Econ class is, so I can’t even stay that long. I’m

just going to go hand in the assingment (which reminds me I still have to

print that off…..) And then leave for my math test.

But ok, after math I came back here and found out that Adam’s grounded

for the week. Grr to that. I hope his mom lets me come over at least. I’ll

be really sad if I can’t. :'( Then I spent like an hour on the phone with

alot of random people, went to supper, and while I was there Adam left (The

dork. I wanted to talk to him some more) and someone else had called for

me, so I called them back and talked to them for like 30 minutes and then

spent at least another 30 minutes on the phone doing follow up calls to

that one. My phone bill for this month is going to be huge. And plus my

cell phone has been ringing off the hook. Graw. Oh well

After I finally got off the phone I went and worked on my Linux box for

a while. I’ve got this program called MirrorDir that is supposed to Mirror

what’s on the FTP sever of this machine. Well I’ve got it all set up right

(on this machine at least) but for some reason MirrowDir won’t mirror it.

So gwar at that as well. I spent like 2 hours working on that. I finally

gave up and decided to work on some more math so I went through and did

some more problems and such and got them all right, so I think I’m pretty

damn prepared for this test. Yep, now that brings us up to now, I’m sitting

here writing this update trying to think of a new program to use that can

replace this on Linux. I want to convert over to Linux completely, but there’s

just a few little things that are holding me back, the no dreamweaver and

very little USB support on Linux are the two main things. Since well, my

Mouse and my webcam are both USB. I kinda need those.

Yep, so that’s what I’m doing….. It’s time for some Freshmeat

now, Laters all…..