Tag: LAX

Memorial Day.. So Far!

Ok, so Friday, the day was horrible for me.

First, the apartment was re-listed online for $100 a month more then I want to pay. Ugh. Second, and more distressing…. Dustin broke up with me.

[private] Hey,

Just wanted to chat with you a bit sometime soon. Just really wanted to let you know that I think one of the things that has been getting me down a bit lately is just how soon I started dating again. I dont think I was ready for it and I have felt really bad lately because when I date someone I want to give them my all and hang out with them a lot and the whole bit. Right now I just need some time to myself and to just hang out with friends and get myself to relax and calm down and get my work stuff situated. I think you are a fantastic guy whos really laid back and has his shit together, which is very rare these days. You guys are just a blast to hang out with and just like our friday night trips to the boom and such help me out a lot.

Me feeling this way has nothing to do with you at all, I just wanted to make sure you knew. I cant give you what I would like to and I dont want to hurt you. If you all still want to just hang out and be friends, you are the type of people I like to associate myself with and all. If you dont, that is just my fault for waiting too long to talk to you.

I know I should have talked to you about this in person but I knew I was going to be playing shoeffer all weekend for my friend and I wanted to be honest and not leave you hanging.

Anyhow write me back. I hope you are having a good day at work!  [/private]

Honestly, it made me quite sad. I was really looking forward to having someone good. Alas, he’s not ready. I hope that when the time comes, if I’ve not moved onto someone else, he’ll still be there. I really do like him…

I left work after getting that, I was too distraught to get anything else done.

I did get ahold of the apartment guy though and he said that he’s running my credit this weekend. So there should be no reason why I won’t get it. I should know by Tuesday.

We all went out to the Boom Friday night, Andrew made out with three randoms, including green shirt boy. 🙁 After that we all went over to these two guys hotel room, and stayed till like 4am. I didn’t get to bed till 5.

Today I came down to SD with Joel and Ryan. Right now we are waiting for these whores to get out of the hot tub so we can go use it before heading out for the night.

Adios.

Wet Undies!

Wow this has been another crazy weekend.

Ok, back to Friday… Got home from work and cleaned my apartment up. It’s nice looking now. Andrew showed up about 4 and we went suit shopping for me. I dropped $500 on a suit, it’s nice and I think I’ll be happy with the suit itself. But the sales guy was just a little too pushy for me, and plus, how often do I wear a suit. I guess now I shall have to FIND things to wear suits too.

The internet at my place has been HORRIBLY slow all fucking weekend. It’s driving me nuts!

After buying the suit we came back to my place and hung out, I made dinner and we ate and then watched this horrible cheerleader nation show.

Joel and Ryan showed up about 10ish and we headed down to the boom. Had an AMAZING time there… It was nice to have a group of people. I think we were probably the hottest boys in there! 😀 It ended up being Joel, Ryan, Andrew, Robert, Patrick, Perry and of course me! And I ran into Michael for a bit while we were there too. Andrew did the wet underwear contest and won second place. He totally should have won first place, but some ugly kid had a chearing gang that out cheered us. Oh well.

Just spent the night hanging out and drinking and having a really great time. My goal of drinking less is not happening very easily. Everyone keeps putting drinks in my hands.

Also, does everyone remember the first time I went to meet Joel at the Boom? With the hot guy that tried hitting on me/making out with me? Well he was there again last night… And! Andrew made out with him.. I’ll have to say that I am now _GLAD_ I did NOT make out with him. He’s 29, and basically just wanted a fuck in the bathroom. Thankfully Andrew got out of there before he got it…. Or at least that’s Andrew’s story. He was gone for a while. lol

My money was on Andrew making out with Perry, but sadly this other homo came up to us and started talking to Perry…

Left the bar at 1:45 when they were kicking everyone out and went down to the beach. It was a mess. Came back to my place and Joel and Ryan came in and hung out here till 3:15, 3:30ish? I dunno. Those two boys are adorable. 😛

Went to bed and I woke up at 6:30 and couldn’t really get back to sleep, but laid there till like 10 when I got up and made Andrew and I breakfast. After that we headed up to Huntington to look at that apartment. It was a nice place, small, but nice. I’m really thinking that I won’t take it though. I told him I’d let him know by the 20th though.

So much stuff going on in my life right now that I’m really stressing about.

Anyhow, got back from Huntington and Andrew left. I changed and took my car into TLE then went on a bike ride. They said it would take 2 hours, so I rode and then laid out in the sun and was gone for about 3 hours total. Came back and my car STILL wasn’t done. So I wondered around and it was done after 4 hours! Bastards. Then the guy running the register was SO SLOW! I wanted to punch him. He reminded me of this jerk I used to work with at K&G.

I meant to talk about this last month, but I was walking throught the greeting card section at Wal-Mart today and it reminded me. Anyways, last month I seemed to have 2 birthdays a week, and I tried and tried to go find cards that I thought were good, but they were all just so stupid. I dunno. I ended up only getting 1 person a card… Blah.

Saturday night I was just really tired so I cancelled my plans and I spent the night home alone. It was really nice to just relax there. Went to the hot tub and just chilled, cleared my head alot. Ended up going to bed at like 10 and didn’t wake up till my alarm went off at 9.

Sunday morning was the Gamping Brunch. Total bust. I was pretty pissed. Of the 4 people that did RSVP only 1 showed up. 2 other people I knew wanted to come, but weren’t able too and 9 people didn’t even RSVP at all, which was just annoying. The one person and I did however decide on the menu. So the other people get no input. Grr.

Went out to dinner with Joel and Ryan. Had a really good time. We went and got pizza, which I’ve been having way too much of lately. They’ve been having a meeting every monday for the last couple weeks at the office and I usually grab a peice from there after they are done… I need to get back on my hard core dieting! lol. We also went to Wal-Mart and Target. Left after that. Like I’ve said before, those boys!

The rest of the day I spent stressing over my life and what’s going on, went to bed at like 8.

I got a notice on my door the other day that says it’s now ILLEGAL to wash your cars in the parking lots, etc. You can only do it in approved business car washes… Umm, WTF?! So today they went around and put these little locks on all the outside water faucets.

I think today I’m going to try going up to hang out with that older guy again. Since I cancelled on him Saturday, I feel bad about that. Then Tuesday I’m going out to sushi with Michael. Sometime this week I’m also playing tennis with Jon. Then thursday/friday are going to be long days at work because both the HD guys are out, so I’m helping to cover that and Friday I fly out. This week is going to be so busy.

Private: The first time my boyfriend and I had sex, it was because of Golden Girls.

Wow, so the last day has been really really strange.

First I post that thing about what Andrew wrote in his journal. I forgot that he was still on my friends list. So he sent me the following e-mail:

You don’t have to be afraid to talk to me. Ever since Steve’s journal and then going and reading your journal I’ve just about been out of my mind.

And the reason you couldn’t find Steve’s thing is because he deleted it shortly after he wrote it. I just happened to see it in like the hour that it was up.

To which I replied:

Thanks for e-mailing me.

I’m not really afraid to talk to you, just that since you’ve been back. I had tried calling you a few times (and no, not the drunk times) and you never returned my calls. I figured that meant you didn’t want to talk to me. Then after the drunk call and your refusal to respond to that I figured it really was the end and time to leave it alone.

Why have you been out of your mind? And who was it that I went out with that’s an Ex, just curios, if it bothers him that much I’ll not do it again.

And you’re right, #2 is not me. There’s been a lot of changes for the worse since Austin, I’m working on changing those now.

Then he said:

Well, I don’t recall getting any phone calls since I’ve been back. And if my phone has been off, I haven’t gotten any messages.

I’ve been out of my mind b/c of the stuff I read. I found myself jealous when reading about your sleeping with that straight guy or whatever, and feeling sympathy about your stuff with Austin. It really made me confused, and I don’t know what to think.

To which I replied:

I think i left you one message and called you once and you didn’t answer. Either way, that’s all behind me now, so I’m not really concerned about it.

I’ve found myself jealous since you’ve been back, you were here what a week before you found a boyfriend? And here I’ve been working my ass off to try and find one and nothing works.

Where to go from here, I’m not sure. I’d like to be friends again, I really miss hanging out with you, but I don’t want to cause problems with your life at Chapman any more then I have in the past.

And then last night I get a myspace message from Steve:

I know we haven’t met. I’m Steve, I was with Andrew. I know your probably throwing me a big “f-you” right now. But, I would actually like to talk with you. Nothing serious or vindictive or with malicious motives. I just want to talk. This sounds ridiculous, I know. But if you would like to talk, I’d be more than willing. And please, don’t let Andrew get word of this message, be it directly or in blog form. He and I are done, but I would prefer that he not know about this anyways. If you disregard this message, I completely understand.

So then now I feel bad because I don’t want to cause any more problems with Andrew’s life. I was finially moving on from not being his friend any more, etc. I’m glad that Andrew e-mailed me, perhaps this will be a start of our friendship again. But I’m sad that things ended between he and Steve, mostly because I don’t want to be the cause of it.

Jon e-mailed me as well and said that he wants to hang out on Thursday so that’s exciting!

It rained all night last night and it was so pretty and relaxing. I so didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. I just wanted to lay there and listen to it rain. Sadly it’s stopped now. 🙁

Private: It’s Just a Candy Bar

So lets see, I haven’t SEEN Austin in almost 2 weeks now. We had another huge fight on wed about shit. He blocked me on AIm saying it’s not Condusive to our friendship. So then I called him to talk about what the fuck was going on. He says he wants to be friends with me and all this shit, but when I try to talk to him about anything he’s always just like. “I don’t want to talk about that right now” blah blah blah. It’s so annoying.

During the call he tried to tell me that I was obsessing about this and etc. I told him off on that. I mean in the last like 2 weeks, I haven’t ONCE dialed his number, I haven’t ONCE called him to say, “Do you want to do something” and I haven’t ONCE started a converstation with him on AIM. It’s all been him. And hello, who calls me every day, sometimes WAY more then once a day. That’s right, it’s HIM! He’s the one being obsessive about this whole thing. Whatever.

So the called ended with, “Well I’ll call you when I want to hang out again”. He called me this morning asking if I wanted to go out with him and some Bako Friend. I told him NO. Looks like I probably won’t get to see him at all for his birthday. Good thing too, cause I just ordered his present online today.

There’s something about March too, even though I have a VERY small group of friends, there’s been at least 2 birthdays a week!

I’ve sent in my application to be a Campmaster for the Los Flores and Lost Forest camps here in the OC. The programs they have look amazing and it’s totally what I would want to do. I’d be able to help out nearly every weekend, so that’d be sweet. I was also looking online and there’s a position open in the District for a Webelos-To-Scout commisioner. Based on the job description they had up, it looks like this person is basically in charge of getting kids to stay in between the Weblos to Scouts transition. As that is where most of the lose happens.

I think I would LOVE that job. I have tons of ideas about things to do, and being a former Eagle Bound Director it’s right up the alley of what I’ve done in the past.

After sending those in I went and read up on all the posts from when I was working at camp… God it makes me miss it so much!

So yeah, hopefully something will come of that. the first thing they have is in early May though. Then there’s a training in the last part of June that I have to go to. I’m really excited for this.

It seems as though in the last two-three weeks though my “friends” here have just kinda popped up. I’ve now got Joel, Jon, Patrick, Robert, Perry, and Tony… Though they are all very new, I’m hoping that things will not get all fucked up again. Perry and I already have a date for Lunch on Monday (not a date date, but just a hang out date). Tonight I’m going out with Jon, Joel and Robert. I kind of want to invite Patrick again, but I’m not sure he would fit with this group of people. Perhaps I shall call Michael since I haven’t talked to him in forever.

So life over all isn’t looking too bad, of course I’m still pissed about this whole Austin thing turning out so crappy. But I’m getting over that shit.

I had a long talk about this with my therapist on Wed. We talked and talked and talked, and actually worked this issue back to something that happened when I was like 6 or 7 years old… (Well not JUST this issue, but my issue with wanting people to like me so much). Basically want I do is find someone who’s going to be a challenge to get to like me and work my ass off to make them like me. He says it stems from working with my dad who never really said “Good Job”. Must more complicated then that. But yea.

I actually broke down crying at his office, we did this thing where I just relaxed and we talked and it came up to this time when I stole a candy bar from the store and my parents FLIPPED out! So yeah.

I guess that’s it, adios!

Dayish Off

So yesterday I basically took the day off, even though I ended up working for a full 8 hours. Slept in a little late and laid in bed working on some stuff, which was nice. Got up and went to the doctors and then went over to the Audi dealer to test drive the A3. They had the exact car I wanted only in grey. So I drove that. It was SO NICE. The only thing I hated was that the C-pillar was a little too big and created a nice big blind spot on the driver side, but I think the mirrors were more then able to make up for that issue.

The other thing was that the back seat on the OpenSky system has less headroom then on the regular one. So I hit my head, but it wasn’t too bad. There was plenty of room in the back though and tons of room for gear.

After that I was going to go to the beach but no one wanted too. So I just rode my bike to this special little place I have and laid out sun bathing for like an hour and a half. Read and listened to music and just relaxed. It was really nice. Going to try and get out there again today. My face is a little red though.

Came home and did some more work. Had a really funny convo with MH. I broke this script on Monday when I updated something and I kept trying to blame him. It was hilarios. At least for me.

I’ve been getting some really good feed back from my latest plugin which also makes me happy. And this time so far no enhancement requests. So that’s even better! Someone did ask if I could modify it to work with the AmazonAPI, but it will already do that really. Just using the GoogleAPI. I was thinking though that maybe I will just go and modify it to use the AmazonAPI natively. It would be fun.

I’m trying to get a few people together to do a day hike this weekend. On Saturday or something. So far Robert, Than, Mike and Joel are all interested, but no one has actually commited to it… I meant to ask Jon about it last night, but forgot. I have no idea where to go. I’m trying to get in touch with Mike to figure something out since he says he knows good places around here.

Anyways, after working and lounging I went out with Jon, Joel and this other guy, Perry or Peter or something. Damn my horrible memory! I’m pretty sure it’s Perry. He works in the building right next to mine. Either way, I had a ton of fun, we all went to H Marys and just talked. It was nice being around people who had things besides thier school to talk about. It looks like we’re all going to the Boom for the wet underwear contest on Friday.

Off to learn ETL. Adios!