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Private: It’s Just a Candy Bar

So lets see, I haven’t SEEN Austin in almost 2 weeks now. We had another huge fight on wed about shit. He blocked me on AIm saying it’s not Condusive to our friendship. So then I called him to talk about what the fuck was going on. He says he wants to be friends with me and all this shit, but when I try to talk to him about anything he’s always just like. “I don’t want to talk about that right now” blah blah blah. It’s so annoying.

During the call he tried to tell me that I was obsessing about this and etc. I told him off on that. I mean in the last like 2 weeks, I haven’t ONCE dialed his number, I haven’t ONCE called him to say, “Do you want to do something” and I haven’t ONCE started a converstation with him on AIM. It’s all been him. And hello, who calls me every day, sometimes WAY more then once a day. That’s right, it’s HIM! He’s the one being obsessive about this whole thing. Whatever.

So the called ended with, “Well I’ll call you when I want to hang out again”. He called me this morning asking if I wanted to go out with him and some Bako Friend. I told him NO. Looks like I probably won’t get to see him at all for his birthday. Good thing too, cause I just ordered his present online today.

There’s something about March too, even though I have a VERY small group of friends, there’s been at least 2 birthdays a week!

I’ve sent in my application to be a Campmaster for the Los Flores and Lost Forest camps here in the OC. The programs they have look amazing and it’s totally what I would want to do. I’d be able to help out nearly every weekend, so that’d be sweet. I was also looking online and there’s a position open in the District for a Webelos-To-Scout commisioner. Based on the job description they had up, it looks like this person is basically in charge of getting kids to stay in between the Weblos to Scouts transition. As that is where most of the lose happens.

I think I would LOVE that job. I have tons of ideas about things to do, and being a former Eagle Bound Director it’s right up the alley of what I’ve done in the past.

After sending those in I went and read up on all the posts from when I was working at camp… God it makes me miss it so much!

So yeah, hopefully something will come of that. the first thing they have is in early May though. Then there’s a training in the last part of June that I have to go to. I’m really excited for this.

It seems as though in the last two-three weeks though my “friends” here have just kinda popped up. I’ve now got Joel, Jon, Patrick, Robert, Perry, and Tony… Though they are all very new, I’m hoping that things will not get all fucked up again. Perry and I already have a date for Lunch on Monday (not a date date, but just a hang out date). Tonight I’m going out with Jon, Joel and Robert. I kind of want to invite Patrick again, but I’m not sure he would fit with this group of people. Perhaps I shall call Michael since I haven’t talked to him in forever.

So life over all isn’t looking too bad, of course I’m still pissed about this whole Austin thing turning out so crappy. But I’m getting over that shit.

I had a long talk about this with my therapist on Wed. We talked and talked and talked, and actually worked this issue back to something that happened when I was like 6 or 7 years old… (Well not JUST this issue, but my issue with wanting people to like me so much). Basically want I do is find someone who’s going to be a challenge to get to like me and work my ass off to make them like me. He says it stems from working with my dad who never really said “Good Job”. Must more complicated then that. But yea.

I actually broke down crying at his office, we did this thing where I just relaxed and we talked and it came up to this time when I stole a candy bar from the store and my parents FLIPPED out! So yeah.

I guess that’s it, adios!

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