City Tour

Well here we are, the day is winding down to an end. It’s been a really long day today so far. I we’ve really done a lot of stuff. After the last update we headed out to a tour of the city. It was very interesting because of everything thing that we saw around the place. The city was really poor looking, even the “high” class areas that we went through in the city.

We did go through a few really high class areas apparently, but you really couldn’t tell. Like even though they were supposed to be the more wealthy areas of the city, they weren’t anything like the high class suburbs of america. The low class areas of the city though really were LOW class. I mean the poverty level is amazing, and how poor these people seemed.

During the tour we stopped at a few places and saw an iguana or two. The first place we stopped was this REALLY cool monument to like the founder of the city or something. I don’t remember exactly. But it was really neat and the carvings were amazingly awesome. Drew bear would have really like it. And if it weren’t right in the middle of a round-about it would be a really great place to get married, and have that in the background.

Another thing I really noticed about the city is that it’s very colorful and there’s ALWAYS live music somewhere around. It seems as though the people around here are happier, and also in some ways sadder. But there are lots of couples around, and many older people and the city is just so alive. I’m excited to find out if the rest of the week the city is as lively as it was this weekend. Or if it’s all just because of the weekend festivities.

After we left the monument we drove around some more and then went to this garden thing. Which again was really cool. For some reason while there I kept thinking about Adam, probably because of the HUNDREDS of ficus plants all over the place. I just kept thinking about how he’s be talking about what he’d do with each and every one of them. Including the ones they had carved into swans and baskets and the like.

In the gardens there were a couple more places that I think would be a great place to get married. The band shell for one, because along the sides it’s got this really pretty overhang of flowers and and the audience sits down in this pit type thing. It’d be very pretty. Another spot was the gardens around here. I really wanted Andrew to be here, because it would have been nice to just sit with him in those gardens and talk. Like we did at the museum in Santa Ana this past weekend. The third place was this really beautiful waterfall. It was absolutely amazing.

I know I’ve got all these places at that I want to get married. But I’ll probably end up getting married in some stupid place. LIke a church or something. Who knows. Even though there’s now FOUR places that I’d like to get married, I don’t think my family would be able to come to any of them. So I’ll probably have to get married in Iowa. If that ever happens!! Hopefully bush and his cronies won’t be able to stop it.

The whole area is just really pretty, even though it is more ghetto then NYC, and dirtier. But it’s not dirty in a bad way like I thought that NYC was. It’s I just don’t know how to describe it… So lively, so happy, so colorful.

From there we went to this art type museum, it was paintings of the history of the area. And there was this HUGE mural, which was depicting the EXACT same thing that the one at Chapman was that I just saw last weekend. I thought that was a strange coincidence. Anyways, again the paintings were all so pretty and I again wished that Andrew had been there to share it with me. We’re definitely going to have to come back. Maybe before the the China tour in 2013 and before his cruise in 2010… I’m thinking 2008, that should be plenty of time for us to save up the money for it.

After we got back from the tour a bunch of us went off into the market place, which is like RIGHT outside of our hotel. The whole thing was such a great experience. The life, and the color and the sound and just everything else.

I ended up buying 4 rings for $300. They were really cheap and I got them down from $450. And I think they’re really cool. I’m going to try and find Andrew something, but there’s SO MANY different things that I really think he’d like. It’s just hard trying to pick one thing.

About 1ish we got back to the hotel and changed and went and laid by the pool. A whole group of us. I’m pretty sure almost everyone knows that I’m gay now, Liz asked me, ‘What’s you’re friends name.” lol. And we talked a bit about my moving out there and stuff. Then just about an hour ago, Omar and I were talking and he brought up the whole Gay Marriage thing. Strange, eh. Oh well.

We all lounged around the pool tell about 2ish then came down to lunch. Which was REALLY great. It was this chicken breast wrapped in banana leaves and it had some really great tasting spices and stuff on it. I was amazed at how good it was. I can’t wait to see what dinner will bring us.

After dinner we all went out shopping again, but didn’t stay to long. I was back by the pool side with, Aaron, Liz, Omar, and one other person. I can’t remember who else was there right now though. We all lounged around talking, and Aaron splashed me, so I cannonball into the pool. it was funny shit.

I spent most of the rest of the afternoon up there hanging out and tanning. Hopefully I’ll have a really nice tan by the time I get back to Orange to see Drew. about 5:30 I left the pool side, but didn’t make it far before getting caught up in the beauty of the bright blue sky and the hotel’s inner court yard. I sat there on the ledge of the third story, looking out over the court yard, and the surrounding cathedrals thinking about how great a boy he is, and how much I want to be with him. For a long time. I can’t wait to get back to Orange to see him again. And hopefully work out a way that I CAN move there in June. Because the more I think about it, the more I want to do it.

I don’t yet know what the night holds for us. I really want to go out with everyone, but not for too late. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. I think that everyone wants to go out to a bar again, but we’ll have to see about that.

Well, I think that’s about all for today. I know there’s some things that I’m forgetting, but I can’t think of them right now. Maybe I’ll write about them tomorrow.

Night all. And I love you Drew Bear, I hope you’re sleeping tight and having a good time, wherever you are. ::hugs::

Another Sea of Homos!


Forty-eight hours, 97 breakout sessions and a count just less than 1,000 attendees from 15 states and Canada.

College students and presenters migrated to Ames from all over the Midwest Friday through Sunday for the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender and Ally College Conference. Although the issue of legalizing gay marriage has been heavily covered in the news recently, participants said it was just one part of the weekend’s discussions.

“A big problem is people just aren’t educated on queer issues,” said Dustin Wagner, a pre-nursing major at the University of Iowa who attended the conference.

The weekend’s theme was “Speak Up! Speak Out!” which organizers said meant encouraging non-heterosexuals and their allies to make sure others were aware of challenges facing gays and lesbians.

“I think one thing that actually did change [as a result of the weekend] in people’s minds was [when] we talked about community involvement,” said Scott Reichmann, co-chairman of the conference’s planning committee. “There was an incredible amount of energy.”

Reichmann said he didn’t notice major differences between gay issues the ISU community deals with compared to those mentioned by visitors from other campuses.

“It’s fair to say those issues are always present,” he said. “The specific way that they manifest themselves may be a little different.”

Rich Eychaner of Des Moines, who made a presentation and represented the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth in Iowa Schools Task Force, said he thinks discrimination against gays is common in Iowa and in the United States, making the theme all the more appropriate.

“There is obviously is a lot of assault and antagonism,” he said. “There are obviously a lot of people trying to keep gay youth from speaking.”

Eychaner said he thinks gay marriage will eventually become popularly accepted, although he said the prospect of a constitutional amendment prohibiting it is something the gay community needs to advocate against.

“The majority will turn in favor of encouraging long-term relationships from people from all kinds of walks,” he said, pointing out that the American public once favored employment discrimination against gays.

Wagner said speakers encouraged participants to be politically active.

“[They] told us it was very important for us to vote and to talk to our legislators,” he said.

An amendment to the Constitution, he said, would mark “the first time that discrimination will be added into the Constitution.”

Troy Nesbitt, senior pastor of Cornerstone Church, 56829 U.S. Highway 30, said he disagreed.

“I’m always opposed to any legislation that would be clearly against what I believe to be God’s intended purpose and design for relationships,” he said. “My position on the issue is a biblical position.”

Nesbitt, whose church also contains the college Christian ministry The Salt Company, said he thought the ISU conference represented an attempt to create a “discriminatory category” for its constituents that didn’t really exist.

“From my perspective, I’m always a bit disappointed when the gay and lesbian community encourages pride in something I would consider unhealthy,” he said.

Wagner said the issue of gay marriage will likely continue to inspire debate for some time.

“It is a huge deal that is affecting the queer community,” he said.

He Needs to Be GONE!

President Bush condemned the Massachusetts court ruling on gay marriage on Wednesday, and conservative groups said the White House had informed them that the president would soon endorse efforts to pass an amendment to the United States Constitution defining
marriage to be between a man and a woman.

Mr. Bush, in a statement issued by the White House on Wednesday night, stopped just short of explicitly backing a change to the Constitution, but left little doubt that he is heading in that direction.

The ruling by the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court “is deeply troubling,” Mr. Bush said.

“Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman,” he said. “If activist judges insist on re-defining marriage by court order, the only alternative will be the constitutional process. We must do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage.”

Conservative activists who have been in touch with the White House on the issue said they now had no doubt that Mr. Bush had made up his mind to back their call for a constitutional amendment.

“After conversations in recent days with the appropriate people, I have absolutely no doubt the president will in fact take this step in order to ensure that marriage in the United States remains between a man and a woman,” said Gary Bauer, the conservative activist who was a Republican presidential candidate in 2000.

Mr. Bauer, who spent the last two days in meetings with conservative groups to develop a strategy for pushing an amendment, said he expected Mr. Bush to make an announcement “sooner rather than later.”

Glenn T. Stanton, a policy analyst for the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family, said its founder, Dr. James C. Dobson, heard in a conversation on Tuesday night with the president’s senior adviser, Karl Rove, that Mr. Bush had decided to back an amendment.

“We heard last night that President Bush is going to come out very clearly advocating the passage of a federal marriage amendment and he is looking for the opportunity to do that,” Mr. Stanton said on Wednesday. “It is not a question of if but when.”

As the issue has raced through the courts in Massachusetts and other states – and risen to the top of the agenda of conservative groups, thereby becoming a more pressing political issue for him – Mr. Bush has moved step by step since last summer toward supporting a federal constitutional amendment.

White House officials would not confirm that Mr. Bush had made up his mind, but they said they would not discourage
reporters from drawing the conclusion that the Massachusetts ruling was exactly what Mr. Bush was thinking of when he warned in his State of the Union address last month about judges ignoring the will of the people on the issue.

“If judges insist on forcing their arbitrary will upon the people, the only alternative left to the people would be the constitutional process,” Mr. Bush said in the State of the Union speech.

Mr. Bush has tried since becoming governor of Texas to position himself as a new kind of conservative who can appeal to the political center. His statements on gay marriage have always been carefully respectful of gay men and women, and his reluctance to throw his weight behind an amendment reflected in part a desire not to alienate moderate voters.

Many social conservatives, though, have been impatient with the president on the issue, pressing him to take a stand. Mr. Bush’s conservative base is especially important to him in this election year because his political strategists say that his re-election could hinge much more on his ability to turn out the vote among conservative voters than on winning over a diminishing pool of more moderate swing voters.

There have been signs of restlessness among conservatives over Mr. Bush’s willingness in the past few years to support or agree to substantial increases in government spending. The White House is trying to head off that discontent, and the budget Mr. Bush sent to Congress on Monday calls for sharp restraint on federal spending.

But while economic conservatives and the groups that represent them in Washington tend to make their case loudly and forcefully, White House officials have always been more concerned about religious and social conservatives at the grass-roots level. Mr. Rove has fretted publicly on a number of occasions about Mr. Bush’s failure to motivate more evangelical Christians to vote in the 2000 election, saying millions of them stayed home that year.

With the Massachusetts ruling, some conservative leaders said, Mr. Bush and other politicians have little choice politically but to get behind an amendment.

“As of today, there is no gray area at all, no area behind which they can hide,” said Sandra Rios, president of Concerned Women for America, a conservative group.

The constitutional amendment most likely to win the backing of Mr. Bush and conservative groups is one that has already been introduced in Congress. The House version, sponsored by Representative Marilyn Musgrave, Republican of Colorado, states: “Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman. Neither this Constitution or the Constitution of any state, nor state or federal law, shall be construed to require that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon
unmarried couples or groups.”

—–

And I don’t think that Kerry is for the job either:
Boston Globe:
“I oppose gay marriage and disagree with the Massachusetts Court’s decision.”

Great… We’re all dead.

But really what’s the likelyhood of a national amendment to the constitution? I mean really what’s the chances of three forths of the states ratifying an amendment of such. I could see that if there were already more then 3/4 of the states that had something like this. But there aren’t. So I doubt any such things will really pass. But it’s still sad to read about.

Laters all.

Aug 16, 2001 #2

Aug 16, #2 [Bob Seger, "Tryin’ To Live My Life Without You"]

<~Song that fits the mood.

Am I the only one bugged by "straight-acting"?

I guess so! Reading the Chicago gay press recently, I discovered dozens

of gay contact advertisers require this quality. Online it is even worse.

Rooms like "straight dudes m4m" are on AOL every day. Straightness

seems a highly desired trait among gay men these days.

I wonder what these guys think straight-acting is. In my experience, straight-acting

boys beat me up in school and had distressing tendency to do girls. Either

they were actually straight, or closet. [Closets always say more anti-gay

things than straight boys say, since real straights don’t stress over being

exposed.]

I have a confession. I’m not "straight-acting," and I don’t want

anyone who claims to be straight-acting. This is not because I’m fem-I’m

not [although would it matter if I was?]. I’m sure I could pass as straight

in the Post Office or down at the local sawdust-floor-pool-hall, or when

fixing my car dressed only in ripped overalls. Question is, why would I

want to be straight-acting? Do I want people thinking I’m straight?

What for?

Of course, history of gay life has been the history of trying to pass.

And it’s been a short history too-10 years ago, it would have been unthinkable

to come out at school, or discuss gay marriage or gays in the military.

And it’s trendy to say, "yeah I’m gay but you should still respect

me because I’m no different from you-I’m straight-acting."

But there’s a problem. See, we don’t want them to like us for being straight-acting.

We want them to like us because we’re gay, and because being gay

is a great way to be, just like any other way. As long as straight-acting

is the only "normal," then we’ll never feel good about ourselves.

Freedom means really being able to act how we want. They go around

kissing their girlfriends in the street-why shouldn’t we be able to do the

same thing? And yes-this is "gay acting." And yes, I think we

ought to do it. It’s an expression of love just like theirs, and that’s

what life is for.

When we go around dopily chanting straight-acting, we glorify the exact

people who oppress us, while rejecting the people who support us, who fight

for us.

As for the question of straight-acting versus "nelly-acting,"

I also don’t see why we shouldn’t be "nelly-acting." There’s a

lot of good things about being nelly-acting as opposed to straight-acting.

Straight-acting means being hard, not showing emotion, not ever crying,

not buying flowers, always being dominant in sex [who would want to do that?]

and generally acting like the Marlboro Man. Personally, if that’s what straight-acting

is, I would rather have someone nelly-acting. Many of the sexiest guys are

androgynous; straight people have been busy creating the "new man"

who is sensitive and has a lot of traits traditionally attributed as sex-neutral;

meanwhile, we’ve been busy glorifying Mr. Hard, who is straight-acting,

rides a bronco, and of course is never gay.

Well personally I am neither straight-acting or nelly-acting. I am me-acting,

and I don’t care who thinks so. Because in all this rush for straight-acting,

we are busy copying straight guys, and they are such a screwed-up group

I suspect they’d be happier if they copied us instead.

Plus, as everyone knows, straight-acting guys are so repressed that they

can’t get it up.

-Christian Mars

Feb 6, 2001

so i just got out of my first class for the day, american

government, and today we had this debate all day and he just trough out subjects,

one of them was gay marriage. you would not beleive what some of these people

said. he phrased the question so it was more of for government tax purposes

etc, you know. but these people are so fucking stupid. they were like “churches

don’t recongnize them.” and people were just being all stupid. one person

even said “they’re fags who cares” and people fucking laughed at

that. i was bout ready to scream. but i didn’t. AHHHHHH, this is one fucked

up state. ok so today, well lately, i’ve been really depressed. again. i don’t

know it’s like i go into and come out of these things. i have so much Hw to

do, but i don’t want to do it, cause it’s all busy work. i have to type up

that bill for that stupid class yet, and i have to change the damn program

now, that stupid bastard. and i have to read four chapters in american gov,

and read a chapter and do some HW in accoungint. i wanna talk to danny. i

wish i had money, i wish i could just say screw this semester and go out there

and get a job or something. this state is really getting to me again. people.

people are strange, i think that hink this morning just really set me off

again. but i’ve been depressed alot for the last couple days. i think i’m

hooked on danny and his voice. t’s so sweet and cute. and i love the way he

says nuttin, it’s so damn cute. lol. and he knows it lol. i’m so out of it today. it’s like i keep thinking it’s wed and it’s not it’s only tues and

shit. i’m going to my cousins on the 16th. that should be ok, i don’t know

what we’ll do though. and then i get back on the 19th and danny leaves on

the 19th for i think he said just a couple days but then he’ll be leaving

again so it’ll be like a whole week before i get to see or talk tohim really.

i’m so sad. people annoy me. roomies are assholes too. just so you know. i

can’t wait tell iget out of here. oh hey did i mention that i got accepter

to UNL. but i don’t know if i’ll go there, i would rather go to cali. ya know

i don’t get my PU’s over christmas they were like. if you want to go to an

out of state school you’ll have to start paying 60% of the tution, but they

they were like, but this is the time to get out of here if you want to. i

was like WTF? so your limiting where i can go, but you’re telling me that

this is “the time” to get out, cause “later i’ll have a family

and it will be hard to move” damnit, i sofucking want to tell them. but

i know that’ll really put a cap on my college payments, lol. i was talkig

to my mom on the phone the other night, it was just after i hung up from danny

and i was in a really good mood. and she’s like “why you so happy”

and i just wanted so bad to tell here “cause i just got off the phone

with someone i really love” but i can’t damnit. but you know i called

him the other day, so i’m going to have to come up with some explaination

for that. hmmm. wonder what i’ll do.