Tag: free

About Me

Hi, I’m Chris. Well, I was born in Iowa and have lived in a small down just

north of Des Moines all my life. I’m a Sophomore in College. I attend Iowa

State University and am Majoring in MIS.

In case you hadn’t noticed, I am gay. I am out to my parents and they took

it really coo. In fact they are taking it a bit to cool if you ask me. They

thought I was dating one of my friends and they were bothering me about it.

I do however have on wonderful boyfriend named Adam.

We’ve been going out since Dec 17. It’s a long story as to how became boyfriends, but I love him

drealy and that’s what matters. I’ve known

that I was gay since I was about 12 or so. But I didn’t start coming out tell

just this last year, in fact I told my cousin first, back on Oct. 11, 2000,

National Coming Out Day. She took it really well and then I told my friends.

Who most of them were also gay. I don’t know why it took me so long to tell

them, but it was cool once I did.

In my free time, I’m usually found wondering around Des Moines or in my dorm

room studying. I like to hang out at Java Joes, and The Loop. There’s really

a lot to do in Des Moines, and I like it here now. When I was growing up I

didn’t really have anything to do cause I was pretty antisocial. But now that

people know who I am, I’m liking it and finding a lot of stuff to do around

here. It’s a nice city.

There’s a lot to me, I may seem simple on the outside, but on the inside,

I’m very complex, like most people. Most of my friends really don’t know what’s

going on in my head. If you want to know, ask. I won’t tell unless you ask,

I’m one of those types of people. Small talk just isn’t my thing, I like it,

if I’m not in charge of the conversation. But I won’t start small talk. Well

I usually won’t start talking unless someone talks to me. That’s just the

way I am, Shy. That describes me well. I’m Shy.

I really suck at a lot of things, I’m not artistic, I can’t do music, I hate

writing, I dislike phones, I don’t know what it is about them, but I don’t

like talking on them. But at the things I can do, I do them well. I like computers,

I’m a geek. People tell me I’m not the "geeky" type, but I spend

a lot of time around computers and working on them.

I’m also really good when it comes to the outdoors, now granted, I can’t

name 10 types of trees, or point out 10 different plants and tell you what

they are. But I can spot poisonous plants and tell you that you can eat that

plants fruit. I like to camp, it’s one of those things. I also just enjoy

being out doors, looking at nature. I love summer nights. There’s this place

at Camp Mitigwa, it’s called Frankel Field. It’s a big open field with grass

about 4 feet tall. I love to just go there late at night and lay in the grass

listening to the animals and looking at the stars, it’s a secluded area of

camp, so there’s never anyone else there. I love the outdoors.

As for my family, I have a brother and well my parents. I recently told my

parents that I was gay, and my cousin and one of my aunts knows, but I don’t

think my brother has been officially told. They are all nice, they’re a family

and such. They get on my nerves a lot But I can deal.

Here’s a picture of me that Adam took at

801 Grand in Des Moines, from 09/22/01.

Here’s some of my friend’s websites:

  • Adam – My Best Friend in the

    world. We met this last summer (’01) through Angel, we are currently dating and have been since

    Dec 17, 2001. We are planning on moving to AZ in ’07

  • Julian – A friend from HS. We

    usually hung out in HS in the computer lab, but I didn’t really start hanging

    out with him tell after HS.

  • Vero – Another friend from HS.

    About the same story as Julian

  • Andi – Another friend I met through Adam. We hang out and such.
  • Beakie – My Favorite Cousin.

    She’s the first person I officially came out too.

  • Amber – Another friend

    from HS. We never realy hang out or anything, but we talk everyonce in a

    while.

  • Jessa –

    Vero’s sister. We talk and such.

  • Kat –

    Someone Vero knows through French Camp, her journal is really cool. And

    she’s really good at HTML and the like.

  • Leah – I met

    her through Adam. Very interesting person.

  • Christopher Street – I don’t really

    know this guy, but I like reading his journal.

  • Cale Fisher – I don’t

    really know this guy either, we’ve corrosponded through e-mail. He lives

    in Canada and I like his journal.

Ways you can contact me are:

  • Email: blackc2004@gmx.net
  • AIM: Blackc2004
  • MSN: blackc2004@hotmail.com
  • In person, walk up to me and say "Hey I saw your website and it sucked."

    Something along those lines will make sure I hear you.

Reflections of the Year

Well, it’s the new year. Happy New Year everyone. Alot has happened over the last year. So many firsts. Coming out to my Parents, my first boy friend, my first break-up, the first time in forever that I haven’t been associated with the Boy Scouts, my first love, my first kiss, and losing my virginity. There’s just so many things that happened this year and looking over my past entries I remember how much fun we all had this summer, and over the last year. I see how much I’ve changed in the last year, and how much my feelings for the world have changed. I’m a much happier person now then I was one year ago. I’m so much farther along then I ever thought I would. One year ago from now, I never knew if I’d be alive for the next day, now I’m planning years in advance, moving to Arizona, Graduating from college. There’s so much that I want to do.

This New Years was indeed one that was special to me. This New Years I got to spend with my friends and the person that I love. We were all with the person that we love and it was just so great to hang out with everyone and have a stress free, enjoyable night.

Ok, going back to right after the last update. Sunday night I went over to Adam’s house, and worked on his computer. Things didn’t work out the way that I wanted them to, so we just said fuck it and wwe came back over here to my house. It was good times. He spent the night to which was just great cause I love sleeping with him, it’s like the best thing in the world to have the person you love so close to you. And he’s just so cute when he’s sleeping. Monday we got up about 12ish and cleaned up the house a little more. Then we went out to do some errands and such. Then we came back here about 5:30ish cause people were supposed to start showing up about 6ish or so. So we waited and waited. Finally Julian and Dean showed up and we hung around and talked to them. It was good times. Finally about 10ish everyone had arrived and the party started. It was a realy good time. We all just hung around and talked and watched movies. At midnight we all kissed our bf’s/gf’s and it was realy cool. This was the first New Years I’ve ever had someone to kiss at midnight. It was just great. About 1 everyone started dispirsing and such, Julian and Dean were the only ones that spent the night. Adam and I got to sleep together two nights in a row, it was really nice. I just can’t explain how great it is to be able to do that. It’s so great to me. Then today Adam and I got up about 1 and Julian and Dean had already left. So we left and went and hung out the rest of the day. There were a few minor tifts though, we had a small argument which was really stupid and I admit that I was wrong, and felt really bad once Adam pointed out that I had done that. Then like right after that happened he got into it with his parents and it was just bad times. So we left and went to the mall and Adam just vented to me on the way there. It was good for him to get it out though.

He goes back to school tomorrow, that’s really sad, I don’t want him to go back. I want to be able to spend the rest of break with him, and just to hang out all day every day. But real life gets in the way of what we want to do.

I got my grades, I did better then I was expecting, but not as good as I was hoping. Oh well. At least I passed all my classed and that’s all I was going for.

Finals and bed time

Dec 21,

The next person that pisses me off is going to get a fist in thier face, damnit. I got up this morning at 6:00 I got ready and was on my way to ISU by 6:30. I got there, walked all the bolldy fuckig way across campus, freezing my arse off. The teacher bitch got there and started explaining the test. The first thing she said was “_if_ you get doe before 9:30.” And everyone was like. HOLY SHIT. She handed out the test and it was 35 fallicies that we had to identify and then explain. Crazy bitch. It only took me about an hour to finish and I was the first one done. When I handed in my test she gave me back my final paper, which accounts for 50% of our grade. I took it and since it was 8 pages I just took it and read it as I went off to go back to my car. As I was walking I was reading the comments she had written on my paper. Some of them just really pissed me off. Like some things that I had taken into the Writing Center and asked them about, she said was wrong. It’s like “Hello, another ENGLISH professor at this college has checked this paper over and siad that it was good.” So yeah. I got to the last page and saw my grade. A FUCKING D-. I was so pissed I was about ready to run all the way across campus and scream at her. I was so pissed off. She said, that I didn’t answer all her questions. I did answer all her questions I just didn’t answer all the questions the way that she wanted them answered, I answered them the way that I thought they should be answered. That’s what the paper was about. Damnit, just because I have a different opinion then her, she gave me a bad grade.

The last couple days have been really stressfull. Lets see. I guess the only thing that’s really worth metioning is that Mandy moved out of her house. That was a really big surprise. Adam and I got the phone call while we were at the mall. We were like HOLY SHIT! I couldn’t beleive that she was doing that. But I can understand why she did. It’ll be good for her. Yep

Other things that have been happening are really stressful as well. Angel’s return hasn’t been as great as we had hoped, things for new years aren’t looking to good, my PU’s are annoying the hell out of me and I swear that my brother will give me a stroke before I go back to school. Things for the most part aren’t good. But there are some things that are working out better then anyone could have imagined.

Everynight I lay in bed thinking about things, wether it be a poem, or something that’s happened that day or the day before. Maybe I’m thinking up a new story, or something. Which by the way I need to start writing these things down, when I’m in bed they sound really good. Last night I spent the night thinking about things that were going to happen today. I took one conversation that might happen, and thought out every possible reaction that the other person might have, every possible scenario that might come about. But this morning, having that converstaion doesn’t seem as important to have right now. That person is who they are, and there’s really nothing that we can change about that. We have to accept that people change over time, and sometimes it’s not in a way that we want them to change. We sent Angel off to Greensville, South Carolina; But Greensville sent Angela back to us. Either we need to adjust to her, or she needs to understand what were saying.

Computers Suck

[Matchbox 20, “Push”]

I’ve got one final down, four more left. Gwar. One of them is tonight, only a few hours left to go tell that’s over with.

Computers suck. They really really suck. Adam’s computer is still having problems. Major problems. It’s now freezing in intervals of 10 minutes or less. Gwar at that. I’ve narrowed the problems down to:
1) 178 various viri
2) Bad BIOS settings
3) Or probles with the Soundblaster/Video card.

Solutions:
1) Install Linux and make them all learn how to use it
2) Take everything out except for the nessacary components and see if that fixes it. Then add components tell we find the culprit.
3) Upgrade to WinXP and see if that fixes it.
4) Write 0’s to the drive four or five times and then run fdisk /mbr a couple more times.
5) Install a new hard drive for $50 – $100
6) Buy a new computer and give the old one to Adam to learn Linux on.

That’s the only things that I can think of that would fix it. Damnit. This really annoys me. But this thing has not beat me yet. It’ll beat me when I call Tech Support to come fix it. But it won’t beat them. ::evil laugh:: HAHAHHA

Nov 5, 2001

Nov 5, [Enrique Inglesias, "Be With You"]

So fateback has decided to be a mother fucking bitch. Must find new free

hosting service. Gwar. I also registered for classes today. Fun times. I’m

taking: Lib 160, Acct 215, Com S 207, Mis 330 and Stat 104. That’s only

12.5 credits, I’m waiting to see if I can get into Stat 227 instead of Stat

104. If I get into 227, then I’ll have 15.5 credits and that’ll be cool.

But I can’t really find any other classes that fit into my schedule right

now. I like what I have set up now though, it should be pretty cool. I don’t

start classes untill 11 on MWF and I’m done at 3, and on Tues, Thurs. I’ve

only got Stat at 9, and then after that I can go to work. Yay for more money.

Yep, so that’s what my life. I’ve been trying to study for Soc, but I just

haven’t been able to get through it, the roomie is in here, and he’s playing

that damn computer game and he’s got the fucking thing turned up so loud.

Grrr. I’ve got Math here in a bit that I have to go to as well.

Oh, funny story from last night. I was leaving and Melinda was in Abbie’s

room getting a massage. Well I had walked out the door already and Adam

was like, "Mom will be sad if you don’t say bye to her." So I

was like, alright, I’ll go to the window and tell Abbie to tell her bye

for me. So I went over there and knocked on the window, and Abbie peeked

through the curtians and I waved to her, and she freaked out. It was hilarious,

then I saw her coming back towards the window, and then she opened the curtians,

and I waved, and the only thing I saw was Melinda laying on the bed screaming

"I’m Naked." I laughed my fucking ass off. Luckly, for both me

and Melinda, I didn’t see anything. lol. Omg, I laughed at that all the

way home. It was so hilarious.