Oh my Topher. Or “Will soon be” my Topher. lol.
So I have had an absolutely fabulous day!
Both my parents were going to be gone Tuesday night so I told Chris that if he wanted, he was welcome to spend the night. He declined, claiming he had to go to school, and I contested that school wasn’t important, but that it was ok.
He called me Tues while I was at work, and asked if I still had that offer up. I sure did, so he headed on down.
That night, we went to the Dispute Part which was dumb as hell, but we managed to have a good time. Mainly by chanting “Where’s the pizza? Where’s the soda?”
Then we came home and got ready for bed. We slept in Jaime’s room b/c the bed is bigger. We layed down, and we spent a lot of time kissing, licking etc…. I now have hickies on BOTH my arms! lol. But BOY does he know what he is doing…. I was dying…. literally lol. It was wonderful.
Eventually I decided I needed to get to bed b/c I had school in the morning! So we were laying there, and he said something to the effect of “This is heaven.” Or something close to that and I Melted and it was really sweet. He held me all night, and I felt so close to him, and so calm, and so at peace with everything that is going on. When I get held, I just feel so safe and I feel that things will be ok after all! It was a really special feeling, and I am so glad that Chris brought it on.
Unfortunately, the morning came too quick.
We got up, after some more kissing, and I got ready for school, and he followed me around. lol.
OH yeah, he also mentioned during the night that he hasn’t missed one class this year (or semester, one of the two) and that this was the first one he missed, so I better feel special. Well, let me tell you, I really did.
Anyways, so he watched me get ready, then after more kissing, I left for school and he stayed at my house. School was too long.
I got home, and got changed, and we went to the Y to work out. That was fun, I was watching him use the machine while I was working my arms and he was just so adorable. I wish I would’ve videotaped it! Lol. So cute. THen I ran next to him and we were both really sweaty and gross.
So then we went home. He threw me in the closet and kissed me, then told me I smelled. 🙂
We both took showers, then went out to Subway so I could get my free lunch. While there, we ran into Court, Erin, Jenny Goodall, and Rachel LeValley and talked to tem for a few minutes. Then we came home and ate, me having my Subway and a piece of old pizza, and him eating a sandwich. Good times!
After that, we watched “Drift” which is officially the dumbest movie of all time. Very dumb, it had like 3 endings, so weird. So yeah Chris held me the whole time, and that felt wonderful yet again.
He said a lot of really sweet things to me… but since I have a terrible memory for those things, I have forgotten them. But I do know he said them, and I remember feeling very special and cared for on more than one occasion.
After the movie, we made out some more lol. He thought that me sitting on him and kinda grinding a bit was funny… I didn’t QUITE see the humor in it that he did.. maybe I missed something *shrugs*
After awhile, we decided we should actually do something, even though we agreed that doing that would be fun to continue with. But we ended up going to deposit my check (Waited forever in line!) and then we went to the mall, where I bought a belt, 2 shirts, and a pair of sandals for 30 bucks. Not a bad deal. We walked around and then went to Target and walked around, and then went home.
When home, we kissed some more, then finally I was forced to set up a game for Chris. He played FF8 for awhile, he definitely isn’t a natural, but its ok 🙂 Mother called at this point and was very obnoxious “Oh so Chris and you are alone? Not cool.” Yeah you are right Mom we had TONS of hot sex. Whatever… it kinda pissed me off.
Then we ate dinner, we had some pasta salad that Kelly made. After that downstairs, to just sit, and kiss and do sweet things until he left. He held me a lot, and we attempted to take lots of pics, though I’m not sure how many of them will actually come out b/c I think my arm kept getting in the way. It was really fun, we just talked about a lot of things, and that’s where the “Almost my Topher” thing came up. I atfirst said “Potentially almost my Topher” and he was like “I think you can drop the ‘potentially’.” So yeah that was a good sign 🙂 He told me I was sexy, yet another good sign.
We just had such a nice time. When he left, I really didn’t want him to, but I was afraid that John would come home and then things would be a bit weird. We took probably 10 or so minutes attempting to say goodbye. We just kept kissing and thanking each other for the wonderful day. That is when he said he couldn’t stop kissing me and I wholeheartedly agree. So tough to let go. Eventually we had to though, and he left.
Now I am sitting here, alone. I know I’m a big loser, b/c I miss Chris already. We have spent about 24 hours together, and now that he’s gone, I’m like “eh, what am I Supposed to do now?” I really just want his arms around me, I’m actually to the point of being sad that he isn’t here. God help me, I’m falling too fast for him.
I’m trying to hold myself back.
But I can’t help it……. oh why does my (almost) Topher have to be so grand?
Well, I don’t think I should ramble on any longer and scare him away, so I’m gonna email him this since he won’t get ittill like tomorrow anyway.
Oh yeah, he also kept saying I was a dork and a nerd for playing so much Final Fantasy! Well, it isn’t my fault that Squaresoft makes such great games!!! lol
Send me yours Topher!
Tag: free
Magical Evening
So yeah……
To put it pretty simply….. the words “Magical Evening” now have such an entirely differnt meaning to me.
I think “Magical” is the only word that can even come close to describing how this night was.
So I was over at Skinnys and all 3 of us decided to do something. Adam called and basically told Skinny that he needs to chaperone Chris and I. Anyways, we went out to eat at Bennigans which was totally fun, and I couldn’t stop laughing and it was just crazyness.
Chris and I went to MHM while Skinny went home b/c his sister was freaking out. Then we went to get Chris’ mints, and then we went downtown to the drag show.
So yeah there definitely wasn’t a drag show. There was only one other car there besides us. THe entire way down I wanted to hold Chris’ hand, but I didn’t get up the guts to put my hand on his knee until we were pretty much almost there. We decided to go to JJ’s when we realized there wasn’t a show. Skinny sped off and Chris and I used the opportunity to get in a few kisses 🙂
At JJ’s we didn’t do much, then Skinny left, we both assumed it was b/c he knew we wanted to be alone. Thanks Skinny!
I came up with the idea to go watch the sunset up by Saylorville, which was (in my opinon) a wonderful suggestion! We drove up there and drove for a little bit until we found a suitable spot for us to stay.
We parked and walked down by the rocks. I wanted to hold his hand, but I didn’t, b/c I’m a big wuss! lol
We found a flat rock spot place to sit down at and we just sat down and talked. The scenery was so pretty. Listening to Chris, and to the waves and feeling the wind, it just made me feel so relaxed and so happy and carefree.
We just talked, and we got our arms around each other, and we kissed and we hugged and talked and did all 3 over and over and over again.
It was truly an enchanting evening. I for one had an excellently wonderful time and it was definitely better than any drag show would’ve been. I told him that I’m the little damsel in distress and he’s the big hero that holds me in his strong arms. He said I was the size of a stick lol.
Anyways, we just talked and shit… nothing really substantial. We did establish that Chris is not allowed to say “So are you” when I compliment him. That was pretty funny…..
So was “I think I got to bring more home than you did!” That was just downright hilarious.
Eventually we moved to where Chris was sitting with his legs open (teehee) and I was in between and he just had his arms around me. Some people walked by, but it didn’t bother us one bit! Yay homos! He was so warm and I feel so safe being held by him. I was completely at ease, and had no worries on my mind at all! Such a good feeling. It was definitely one of those days where you realize just how much you truly care about someone.
And I care about Chris an *AWFUL* lot. Maybe more than he knows…
So yeah wonderful day and night and we watched the sunset and it was sooooo romantic. We just sat there, me in his arms, watching the sun go down (and boy, did it go quick!) I just wanted it to last and last. We did more talking, and more kissing, and Chris kept tickling me! It always makes me giggle like a little girl. 🙂
We decided we had to leave at some point b/c it was getting just a bit nipply out. So we stand up on the rocks, and stood there for probably… I would say at least 10 minutes… just standing and kissing and I held his face in my hands (it sounds dumb to explain but I know what I mean) and that was just……. amazing. I don’t know what it was, but touching him and kissing him and standing there with the sun just set and a cool wind blowing across us. I practically died.
We walked back to the car and held hands and put our arms around each other and kissed some more. I held his hand again in the car on the way home… errr, to Hy-Vee. I dropped him off at his car at Hy-Vee, and it was really weird b/c we saw Skinny there. We were like “eh…?” Very odd. So we talked to him for a minute and then we went to saying goodbye, which of course, was very tough.
We kissed and stuff in the parking lot for awhile, then we had to break and it was sad. He pointed out the bulge in his pants and I said it was hot lol. I drove home, and was already missing him! I really wish he lived closer so I could see him more often.
Anyways, he may be coming down Wednesday, and if he does that’ll be great, specially now that John will more than likely either be home late or not at all. So we won’t have to deal with people coming into my room and bitching about the door not being open. Stupid parents!
All in all, another fabulous night with Chris, it was, in my opinion, one of the best nights we have had together.
Oh, I forgot… I also explained to Chris the difference between “real” kisses and sexual kisses, complete with demonstrations… I thought that was cute… lol
Anyways, I’m totally happy, but you wouldn’t be able to tell b/c I’m so damn tired that I’m just sitting here like bleeeeeeeeh.
As soon as I get Chris’ entry and read it, I’ll be off to bed, and to dream of my sweet thang! (That is you Chris, in case you are confused lol)
BREAK!
Another Paper By Andrew About JJ’s
A Perfect Evening”
“Dirty, dirty dishes.” That’s the sign that greets me as I walk into Java Joe’s, a coffeehouse downtown, through the back entrance. The container under the sign is piled high with the filthy plates, almost as a testament to the deliciousness they once presented. Java’s is my favorite place in the world–where I can drown all my sorrows in a delectable swirl of caramel and cappuccino. In my hectic life, it is comforting to know that I always have a place to go when I am touched by the bluebird of unhappiness. The screeching fluorescent lights, the brand-new band–no matter what, going down to Java’s relaxes me and puts my mind at ease. The sights, the sounds, the people–they all help to calm my sometimes jittery nerves.
I saunter in with friends, looking absolutely stunning, and glance around. heads turn, whispers abound, and I, listening to the explosive bursts of laughter and hearing the shots of gossip being fired, make my way through the battlefield that is the sitting area. I see a friend, an acquaintance, perhaps an ex; and, as a smile leaps onto my face, I raise my hand and wave at whomever it may be. Like a dog that sniffs at some savory cooking, my nose is instantly brought to attention by the smell of coffee. If all the happiness in the world were to become a smell, I would imagine it would smell just like the lattes and mochas that delight my nose now.
I strut my stuff to the front of the emporium, and place myself in a line of hungry souls that await the nourishment that can only be provided by the great deity that is coffee. I wait patiently, my stomach–anxiously awaiting the drink, of course–running and slamming against the walls of my insides, like a lab rat lost in a maze. While waiting, I look around and take in all the sights aroundme. A couple in the corner looks deep into each others’ eyes as their hands clasp together in an entanglement of fingers on the table. A man contemplates his next move in his chess game–should he risk a knight’s life or sacrifice a high and mighty bishop? My wait in line ends as a trendy girl with two-tone hair and several piercings helps me.
As I take my seat at my usual table with my friends, the band begins to play. The electric hummings that come out of the guitar send shockwaves of musical nirvana screaming at my ears. I sample my French vanilla latte and my tastebuds sing; as the slick liquid descends down my throat, the creamy auburn concoction soothes me. My mind relaxes and I feel at peace. The band plays a new tune and i can almost see the music notes trembling in the air, in glorious harmony.
I am sitting close to the entrance and I watch as people, like bees, swarm in and out of the luscious hive. Some are smiling, some are wearing grievous expressions–perhaps they have had a less than stellar day. I enjoy watchin and perceiving the various type of individuals. I listen intentely to the melody being played and tap my feet in accordance with the beat. My mind wanders and I feel happy and free. A friend shouts at me, his deep resonating voice shattering my peaceful reverie. He says we should go outside and take a walk.
Like a small child who doesnt want to leave the playground, I get off my chair methodically and walk towards the door. I inhale one last breath of that wondrous smell, the smell of fun and relaxation and happiness and everything that’s good all rolled into one. I link arms with a friend and we proceed out joyously. As I walk out, the pink elephant mobile (hanging down from the ceiling) winks at me and I am relaxed as I feel I will ever e. My friend and I step out onto the pavement, our hands and our hearts togehther, and heaven drops down upon us in the form of crystalline snowflakes that soon cover the cool winter ground.
Ok so reading it again id ont like it as much. i really like the last sentence though. and the reason it is so ‘flowery’ is b/c it was supposed to be a descriptive essay, so lots of fig. lang. and stuff.
anyways enjoy
andrew
Lyrics
[Alanis Morissette, “You Owe Me Nothing In Return”]
I’ll give you careless amounts of out right
Acceptance if you want it. I’ll give you
Encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and I’ll hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I won’t judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, it’s my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and I’ll grant it.
You can ask for freedom as was
Or time to revel and you’ll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and I’ll support it.
You can ask for anything you want
Anything at all and I’ll understand it.
I bet you’re wondering when
The next payback you’ll eventually drop.
I bet you’re wondering when my conditions or policies will force you to cough up.
I bet you’re wondering how far you now have danced moved back into dead.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of thruths
Even if it means I’ll lose you and I’ll hear it.
You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
And I’ll empathize with.
You can’t say that you’ll have to skip town
To chase your passion and I’ll hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life chrisis and I’ll hold it.
On the hills…
Above the river, in amongst the trees.
Flows the flag, of Camp Mitigwa, Waving in the breeze.
Lately, that song has been about the only thing on my mind… Well that song and all the other songs that we sang as Boy Scouts.
I don’t know what it is that really brought all this back up. Maybe it’s that I want to camp this summer, maybe that it’s all the drama and I just want to get away for a while, perhaps it’s school, and the stress, maybe it’s the pictures that Adam and Andrew found, that reminded me of all the good times I had at camp, maybe it’s a lot of things, and a combination of things. But, lately, scouting is the only thing on my mind.
It’s been so hard to get over Scouting, and I don’t know why. Why do I still love an orginiaztion that hates me so? I don’t know.
I’ve been thinking about going back to work these this summer, maybe all of it, maybe just for Cub camp. I don’t know where though, I can’t go back to Mitigwa. Even though that’s the real place that I want to be. I talked to anouther gay guy about it here at ISU, he said Freeland Lesile, but that’s in WI, and I don’t like the idea of being thrown into something that I have no control over, somewher that I’ve never been before.
Maybe I can call up Chris, in his council, and ask if he’ll give me a job. That would be nice. At least that way I know someone that’s there.
I want to call Peg Dehout (sp?). But I don’t know what I’d say to her. I want to call Pete, but I don’t know what I’d say to him.
I just want to work somewhere fun this summer, somewhere that I know I’ll enjoy it. I want to be outside, and go back to what I’ve done so many times in the past. Why is everyone holding me back from this. Why?
I’m going to call people this week. I don’t know when, but I will.
In other news. Today was Adam and my one year. Congratulations to us!
And 3 down, one more final left to go. I can’t wait for the semester to be over.
I don’t know why they complain about what they’re getting paid. Do a search for “premkumar G”. Yeah, he’s TOTALLY not worth anywhere near that. Fucker.