Tag: free

To Be Missed Already.

Even though this was a REALLY great weekend, I spent more time of it then I should have been upset about something.

Most of it was spent being upset about the whole Infection thing that Andrew has. We talked on the way there about it and he says that he thinks its because of us having sex. Now I believe that because I can’t think of anything else that would have caused it.

That makes me feel really bad, mainly because now, for me at least, the first time that we’ve had sex is going to be in my mind as the time that Andrew got an infection. And that just really sucks. I mean, I still feel the same way emotionaly, and I really enjoyed the fact that we could share that, and it means a lot to me. But it’s still going to remembered as not only the great time that it was for the both of us, but also as the time that Andrew got an infection. It just really sucks.

It also sucks because that’s turned him off from sex. Now, it doesn’t really bother me, on the level of, Damn now I can’t have sex but on the level of, Damn now we can’t share that And I just feel really bad about that. I also feel bad because from what I gather, Andrew’s had mostly bad experiences with sex. And I was really hoping that this would be a really good experience for him. And it turned out not being as such.

I really regret not using a condom for that time. But I’m really glad that we got to share that closeness. And I hope that we only continue to grow closer in the last few weeks we have together.

Other then that one problem there really wasn’t anything else. The weekend was REALLY great, and in the end I’m very glad that Dustin did cancell on us. I think that it was a great time to get to hang out, and it’s really brought me a lot closer to him.

It’s also really made me realize how much I’m going to miss him when he’s gone. He spent a lot of time this weekend talking about moving and his new roomates and the like and that really scared me.

Here it is. Only 3 more weeks left, and there’s still so much to do. There were so many times this weekend where I just wanted to break down and cry and hold him and tell him how much I loved him, and how happy I am, and how lucky I am to have him as a boy friend.

To tell him how how much happier I am with him. And how glad I am that we talked, and I decided to break up with Adam. I’m glad so glad that I broke my promise to that I made to myself not to date him, because he’s nothing like I thought he was when I told myself that.

And now looking back on that, I think I probably told myself that because I was becoming to close to him, and stuff.

The ride home was the worst part though, I was so glad that he slept most of the way so that I could just sit there in self-pitty and think to myself. And so that I could hold his hand, and Admire him while he slept…

Which is probably the time that he’s most beautiful.

Once we got back to his house, I didn’t want to stay long because I knew that if I did, I would end up breaking down. So I left quickly, though it ended up being a bit too quick. I felt as though he was pushing along the goodbye.

I drove home pratically in tears the whole way. I just can’t believe that in 3 weeks the best thing that’s ever happened to me is going to be gone, and that scares me to no end.

Another thing that really scares me is what’s going to happen between us once he moves. I know I’ve brought this up before, but it is really scary, and I don’t know what he’s thinking about it all.

On the one hand, it’d be nice to keep up a relationship, but what’s the probabiliy of it actually working out long distance. And on the other hand, taking a break, but then I’ll feel like shit when he goes out and gets other bf’s while he’s in Cali. I know this is probably sounding really obsesive about now, so I’ll stop.

But it does bring us to another point… The trip. I’m willing to spend up to $700 total for the whole thing. Now I know that probably seems like way to much to be spending to see my bf of what will be 4 months off to college. But I look at it as more of a nice vacation for me. I just happen to be seeing my bf off to college at the same time. That’s why I’m willing to spend so much on it all. Not because I’m crazy.

Though it really does mean a lot to me to see him off to college, don’t get me wrong. And I’m really looking forward to seeing where he used to live and get to have so much fun, and helping him get into his first dorm room. I only wish that I had someone to help me when I first moved into my dorm room. It was such a scary time, and I really needed someone there for me.

At least here he will, I’ll be there for him. And I hope that he knows how much I care for him and how much I hope he enjoys Cali.

With Love,
Topher.

PS, I hope this doesn’t cause any problems… I forsee it doing as such… Drew Bear, if you want to call me after you read this, feel free too. I love you baby, and I don’t want you being upset… Nothing was meant to do as such.

PPS, this update will be edited tomorrow about the following topics: 1) Housing, 2) Orange Cum

Sicky McSick Pants!

So I’m sure that I’ll start this post and then not get it finished because we are uber busy around here today.

CSGF Conf is going on we’re working on encoding those presentations. WE just got Tuesday and Wed’s in the mail today. Gotta love FedEx Overnight AM. This batch is going MUCH better then the ones from the SCC conference a couple weeks ago. Mostly because none of these have to have audio remixed, so we just encode and go!

I’ve only got 2 more left, so that’s good. One though has the screen saver pop up in the middle of it. So we have to fix that, but it should be an easy fix.

Yesterday was great, though it was sad to see mt Drew Bear sick!

Work from 7:30 to 10:30, and then I left here and got movies at Family Video, only $1.30 for 2 DVD’s and one of them was a new release! I’d like to see someone beat that shit! lol.

Met up with Andrew about noon and we just spent the WHOLE day laying around his house and hanging out. It was very good times. We watched Frita, and that was good. Andrew layed with his head in my lap, and he kept complaining that it looked like I was in a bad posistion, which I wasn’t! So funny, after that I watched Oprah, and then the news… Because Andrew fell asleep in my lap. It was so cute!

Once he woke up we watched Pumpkin, which was another very odd, but good movie! It wasn’t near as funny as the box said that it was!

By the time that movie was over it was like 7:30, so we went upstairs and made some supper. Andrew had pasta and I had a chicken sandwich. Yummy. I’m hungry just thinking about it! lol.

Once we ate we went back downstairs and laid on his bed talking about things. His mom randomly came in and we were both under the covers, but just talking and his door was open… She was talking to us about things and then took his temp. After she was done with that she was getting ready to leave and then she goes, “Could you please set a good example for your sister and not lay in bed together.”

It was just very annoying the way that she said it, etc. And then they got into a bit of a fight about it. It really annoyes me that his mom takes some of the smallest things and just really blows them up and yells about them. Very annoying, and I hate it even more because of the fact that she yells at them infront of guests. You just don’t do that.

Anyways, it came time to leave and it was really hard because I wanted to just stay there and take care of my baby. We went outside and hugged and I gave him his first kiss of the day. I wasn’t kissing him the rest of the day because I didn’t want to take any major chances of getting sick.

Anyways, I drove back to 86th and dropped off the videos at Family Video. Then I got on the interstate to head back to PC, but I decided not to, so I got off the next exit and turned around and headed back to Ames…

I got to the Elkarht exit when my phone rang, I looked at it and it was Andrew, so I answered….

“Did you leave some keys here..”
“SHIT, THOSE ARE MY HOUSE KEYS!!!”

Followed by many more shits, and “I can’t believe how stupid I am!”‘s. I had to drive all the way back to Waukee to get my fucking keys… I will be making copies of those tonight. By the time I got there it was 10:00, but it was good to see Andrew again!

By the time I got home it was 10:45 or so, and I went right to bed. I was so tired.

Today’s been going really really good. I got up early, for some reason I woke up at 6:30. Crazy I know. Got dressed and came to work. I’ve been here all day working on those presentations, now only one is left to do, YAY!

I’ve been wearing a stocking cap all day too, I wore it to work because I didn’t feel like doing my hair today, but now that I’m here, I’m really glad that I wore it. Because it’s fucking FREEZING in my office. And no, I’m not freezing because I’m sick (or at least I don’t think that’s why). I’m freezing because it IS freezing in this office. Everyone’s complaining about it, but we can’t seem to get the A/C to turn off! ::shivers:: I hope it’s fixed by tomorrow or else I’ll have to wear a sweatshirt to work! lol.

Just received a package from Symantec with our AntiVirus software updates, (About $1,500 worth of software)… The CD’s missing. Great, now I have to go through the annoyance of getting Symantec to send out another CD and I have to call DHL to complain. Bastards!

Anyways, I’ve decided there are TWO things I really want to do on the trip to New Jersey/LA. And that’s to see the Sunset on both coasts from the beach. I think it should be doable. But we’ll see.

Edit:// So plans for this weekend are as follows so far… Leave here about 4:15 on Friday and drive to KC, MO. Get to hotel, hang out, perhaps go out if we feel like it. Otherwise stay in. Saturday spend the majority of the day in Lawrence, KS. I’ve found lots of fun things to do there, it appears. And some other cool stuff. Saturday night, I dunno what we’ll do. Haven’t got that far yet. Sunday, we’ll check out and then go do something, I was thinking mini-golf, perhaps? Then drive home. Good times! I’m really excited and keep thinking that we leave today. I really really want to leave NOW!

And that’s my life…

The weekend that wouldn’t stop…

So this weekend just seemed to keep on going. Which was really good. Friday I met up with Andrew about 5:45ish, his mom was supposed to be cooking supper, but the people that have looked at the house 4 times were going to be coming over, so she decided not to. We ate something real quick and hung out at his for a while. Once we left we headed to the half-price store to get sell some books back. I took in some old computer books. I got $15 back for them, which was pretty good I thought, considering how old they were.

From there we went downtown for a while. And then decided to go see a movie. Legally Blonde 2. Very good movie I must say. After that I drove Andrew back to his car and we broke for the night.

Saturday I awoke really early, 7:30. But I didn’t actually get out of bed tell about 10 or so. Once I did, I just sat around and didn’t really do much. Andrew finally called me about 12:20 and we made plans to meet up at about 1ish.

I left PC and drove there, stupid stupid people driving that day. Very annoying.

Got to his place and we finalized the dates for the trips to EWR/LAX. Aug 11th is the day we’re leaving. I’m still very worried about all the flights though. Ate lunch there and then spent a large part of the day helping/watching him pack stuff. It was nice to hang out with him, a bit boring. But I’m totally understanding that he has to pack, and the weekend is one of the few times that he has to do that. I also want to be there when he packs because I think that’s probably the time that he most needs someone there. Packing just brings to reality how soon he is moving.

We left there about 3ish, I think. The weekend just seems to be all blurring together for some reason this morning. Anyways, I do remember that we drove from his place to the new porn store off exit 159. That was very amusing times. The guy that was working was uber friendly for some reason. And then have a HUGE, and I mean HUGE!, gay porn DVD section. Very good. Now I just wish that it was closer to here to rent porn from! Lol. Though, it’s probably closer then driving all the way to the south side.

After that we drove back to Ankeny, stopped to eat. It was uber expensive there, but I already told Andrew that I would pay, and that we were eating there. So it was too late. Whatever though, the food was good.

Oh, I forgot that we went bowling on Saturday too! That was fun. Thanks Beak for the free tickets and if you get anymore that you don’t want to use, I’ll gladly take them!

After supper we went back to my house, hot tubbed and then went to bed. Andrew spent the night.

Sunday morning we got up, showered and ate breakfast at my house. From there we went back to his and packed some more. We also took TONS of pictures for his ebay items that he has up. Everyone should go bid on them to make him happy! Lol.

After that we went to the half-price books store again to sell more books. I took in a bunch more compter books and an old Business book that I have. All the computer books were about the same age as the ones that I took in on Friday. Though this time they only offered me $1 for all of them. I mean this was like 10 books! I was uber pissed about this. Because it just shows that they really don’t have much of a plan on how they pay for books. They just guess or something. I was very annoyed, and they wouldn’t even take my Business book because It has highlighting. Well duh, of course it does, it’s a fucking college text book! Grr. I was just annoyed with that.

Once we were done with that we went and got ice cream. Which I really didn’t need but it was so good!

From there back to his house, where we met up with Ginny. And then went to the airport to pick up Jenny and her sister. That was fun times.

Broke late that night after some laying in bed talking about things, and a bit of crying.

Got home late that night and got my mail… Two bills of course. Very annoyed with that, though I realized that I already paid one of them, and my electric bill is only $1.88 this month. Which is very odd. I’ll have to look at that again tonight when I’m more awake to figure out what’s actually going on there. Because it should have been closer to $30.00 or so.

Also thinking about where I want to move after college. With everyone else that I hang out with talking about their moving, and going away to college it’s got me thinking a lot. I really want to move west, and I have for a long time. Though I don’t think Cali is the place, and if it is, it would either be San Diego, or more north, but not around LA, or SF. I was thinking Washington for a while, but I want to stay away from there because they are infected with the evil M$ Virus there. Arizona still has potential. But I don’t really know how much. I’m very scared about it all though, because I know that at the job fairs here at ISU they only have employers from this area of the country. As Sue said not that long ago, And why did you stay here??

One year seems like a long time, but I know that it’ll go by really fast… Just look at how fast the last 2 months have gone by already.

Today I’ve been very busy at work, though I think things will slow down now this afternoon. I went through my old entries this morning and changed a few of them from private to public, and I’ve been thinking about some more code upgrades, but those would all be for me. We’ll see if I get around to it or not.

Tonight will consist of 80’s music and CD burning.

And that’s my life.

Thursday?

So this week has just been dragging on and on and on. It just doesn’t seem to stop. I was hoping that this week would go by fast, which, I guess it kinda has, but at the same time it hasn’t because it is only WED! Grrr.

Speaking of it being Wed. So far every day this week at some point in the day I’ve thought it was Thursday.. But thank god, tomorrow is FINALLY Thursday, the last day of work, and the last day of school for the week. I can’t wait.

And then once this week is over, only one more week of classes left! YAY! I’m so excited. Hopefully I’ll do better on this next MIS test. I never did go into that story did I? Well the first question on the test you had to assume some stuff. It was a registartion program, dealing with classes and the pre-reqs for those classes. Well in the ERD I added in the Student and Teacher relationships to those classes, and well, he didn’t want that, so he took off 20 fucking points! If I hadn’t over-assumed on that one question, I would have got a 92% on the test. Fucker!

Oh well I’m over it.

Tuesday was good, class as usuall. I also did some other stuff, but I’ll get into that story a bit later. Anyways, I talked to drew for like an hour that night, and that was good. We’ve been talking about tons of random stuff, and we’ve been talking much more then I think we would have had he been in Iowa. Very crazy! lol.

At work we bought a new firewall, that was uber exciting. We got her to go with the one that has 4 trusted ports so we can make a DMZ sometime in the future. Also talking her into Gigabit switches to replace the 10/100 switches we have now, and also racks for the server room. I’m really looking forward to the firewall and the racks. The firewall will be here on Thursday, so that’s exciting. We haven’t got the racks for sure yet, still trying to convince her that we need them! Which we DO!

Also while at work I came up with, what I think to be a sweet idea. Originally I asked Andrew for his address while he was there to send him a little card or something, but plans change, and I came up with the idea to send him some flowers. So I start looking up places to get flowers from that area and couldn’t really find anything that sounded good.

I call up the place that his family rented the apartment from and asked them for a recomendation for a place that’ll deliver flowers. They told me to call this place called ‘Belva’s’, so I did. Asked the what it cost to deliver and it was only $7, so I was like that’s fine. So I start telling her what I want. I just wanted to send him some, like 3 or 4, Spider Mums, because those are his favorite flowers. First of all, she only had 2 colors, yellow and white. So I was kind of annoyed with that, I was hoping that they’d have more colors. So I tell her that stuff and then she’s like, what else. And I’m like “That’s all.” And then she informs me that you have to buy a total of $35 worth of shit before they’ll deliver.

Now this took me by surprse because Hy-Vee will deliver for like $6, and there’s now limit that I know of, cause last time it was only like $15 total. So I’m like, well I don’t want to spend that much, so I asked her for to recommend somewhere else. Which she nicly did, we hung up and I called them.

This time it was $25 for delivery and $30 minimum order. So I was like, fuck them. And looked online for a g-store or something Hy-Veeish. I found this place called Publix and called them up.

Get this, there it was $15 delivery fee, and a minimum order of $50!! I was like, HELL NO!

Finally the last place I called was “Piggly Wiggly Florists” there it was only $5 delivery, which I find the weirdest because they are the farthest away from where Andrew was compared to all the others. And the minimum order was $25. So I felt that I could deal with that. I asked her if she had any spider mums, and she said she did, but only like 6 purple ones. Well, Spider Mums were like $1.50 each, so once you took the price of the vase out of there ($6) I could have gotten him a dozen of those. Which I really didn’t want to get him a dozen or even six (long story) of anything. So I ask her what else she has that she would like. She mentioned a few things and I didn’t know what any of them were. So I decided to just go with something simpler.

Ended up getting him 6 Yellow Roses with Orange tips. The woman said they looked really good, and it was a good choice. So I hope that they really do look good. After we got all that done she asked me when I wanted it delivered.

I knew that they would be gone from the house by the time I had called her (About 2ish Central time) and that Andrew and family probably wouldn’t be back to the house by the time the florist closed. So I just told her to deliver them first thing in the morning. So like 10ish.

Well come to find out when I talked to Andrew last night that they tried delivering them that NIGHT! I was so annoyed because the florist left a note there. I wanted this to be a super surprise. One of those, things where someone knocks on the door and you go and answer it and boom, there’s some flowers. But no, the stupid florist went and fucked that all up now.

This morning I came into work at 8 (because I had left the number here for them) and called them up. I asked the florist who had helped me the day before what was going on. She explained that she had a delivery in that area and just went ahead and tried delivering it then. So I accepted that, I wasn’t going to get mad at them since they were doing so much for me and helping me out so much. I asked her to call me back if Andrew hadn’t been in to pick them up before 1pm.

So I’ve been uber nervous all day. I didn’t think about it tell I was in class this morning, that his PU’s might not like him getting flowers or something like that there. Too gay or something, you never know. And everytime the phone here in the office rings I just like freeze hoping that they’ll buzz me and say “Andrew McGeehan is on the phone for you.” And I can say, “Thank you, put him though.” But nope, not yet.

I also have my cell phone next to my monitor, and everytime I get a call… Just a few seconds before my monitor flickers. Well today it’s been doing it even when I’m not getting a call. But still everytime my monitor flickers I just sit there for a second looking at my phone and hoping that it’ll start rining.

But it hasn’t YET!

Ok, stirke that last part… It just rang and it was the florists. They haven’t heard from Andrew yet. Very annoying. I would think that that would have been the first place they went to this morning. At least I know I would have… Grrr. I’m very annoyed and very anxious right now.

I hope that everything turns out well. I gave them Andrew’s phone number so that they can call him and find out what’s going on.

Well other then that not much else has been happening in my life lately. Last night I went running for almost an hour, and then did my abslide.

This morning I got up at 7, did my abslide and go ready for the day then went out. Rode my bike here to take care of the florist dilemma. And then rode to campus. By the time I got to campus my shirt was soaking wet from sweat, so I went to the bathroom in Carver and took it off and washed my face with cold water to cool down some. I forgot my water bottle this morning and I’m not happy about that either…Anyways, the point of the story is that I was standing in front of the mirror shirtless there in carver and I really liked the way that I looked. Maybe it’s just me, but I thought it looked like I’ve lost some weight recently. Crazyness really.

Class was class. I started reading Branned since I just finished Culture Jam. I really liked that book and recommend that everyone go read it! lol.

Now I’m at work and I’ve got quite a bit done for being as jumpy as I am. I’ve implemented SNMP on 5 machines and I’m working on getting it on the linux boxes, but the config files for it seem to be confusing me.

Hopefully things will get better!

Laters.