danny and i talked for quite a while last night it was
really nice, he’s got such a great voice, but he talks so soft sometimes it
hard to understand what he says, i did find out one thing he’s got a dog named
tyson (update 01-28-01: alright so i can’t here, he said dysson), lol. what
a cute name, lol. well not much other shit going on round here, it’s wed,
nothing ever happens on Wed. so i’m going to go do some HW now. bubye.
ya know, usually i don’t think when i write these. i
just sit down and type what’s on my mind, just what ever my fingers say. But
yesterday, danny was reading these. and i went back and started readig some
of them. ya know i think i obses a bit much, don’t i? well i just wanted to
write this and say i’m sorry if i ever offend or scare anyone here. it’s just
what’s on my mind. danny i truly do love you, even though it’s not in a way
that most peope love, the fact i can’t see you, or have enver seen a picture
of you. but i love who you are. your voice, your personality, everything i
know so far about you. but my life is messed up i guess, i’ve been depressed
alot of my life, ya know, most of my friends from back home would know i used
to be really athletic, i was in about every sport when i was younger. but
something happened when i was 12, and just dropped everything my grades slipped,
the fun in my life, it all just left. i hate my life. Something else though.
when i was younger i used to spend most of the summer out side withouta shirt
on, no suntan lotion, i used to get really nice tans, but i haven’t had a
good tan for years now, because i rarly take my shirt off when i’m out side.
The reason is becuase i have three very large moles on my back, one of them
is three different colors. i think it might be skin cancer. and it’s not just
on my back i have oddly shaped moles all over my arms ad stuff too. they have
been there for a coupleyears now. and i’ve just never really cared what they
were. i just leave them alone, and hope to god that they aren’t cancer. i’ve
never had a doctor look at them, my PU’s have never seen them, no one knows they are there, but me. that’s why i always go swimming late at night, that’s
why i haven’t been in the mitigwa pool since the summer of ’96. I’ve never
really cared if i die from them, because my life has been nothing to me so
far. it’s been shitty, i hated my life in HS and so far i’ve hated my life
in college. although it is a bit better.
B-day’s suck, they really really do suck, you know that.
i really do hate b-days. for those that didn’t know yesterday was my b-day.
asshole people. i hate b-days, my grandma remembered, my aunt’s and cousing
remembered, well most of them. my parents, my dad remembered, he sent me a
package, my mom, nope, she forgot, my mom’s side of the family, nope they
all forgot to. assholes. i know i’m not any better, but yeah, i at least call
and say happy b-day and shit. no one called me, sent me anything, bastards,
i hate b-days, i just wish i had someone here to sit and lay my head on thier
chest and just cry. speaking o such a person, danny did remember, we talked
for a while last night. that was nice. well i’m still pissed about b-day’s
so i’m leaving now.
so yeah, i had a thing here earlier, but i forgot to
save it and the damn comp crached, so here goes again. Sundays really suck,
but this one just sucks more then normal. tomorrow’s my b-day, i really hate
b-days. but this one is just going to really suck cause i’m up here, all by
myself, yucky. i haven’t talked to danny since he called the other night,
i really want to talk to him again soon. he said that we needed to spend some
time apart? wtf? why, i didn’t get a chance to sak him, 🙁 i want to see him,
i want to talk to him. so yeah, i’ve also been thinking about my future, yet
again, i think to much. but yeah, i’m going to go look into teaching as a
career. it looks simple enough to get a lisence thing, lol. yeah. o well.
this one sucks. i’m going to go off now. bye.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG, i’m in such A fuckgin good mood.
OMG, am i in a FUCKING GOOD MOOD, it’s like 12:22 am here, and i just got
off the phone with danny, hehe, he just randomly called. fucking random. OMG,
such a good fucking mood, i guess he’s been sick all ducking week, poor him.
we talked for like 10 minutes or so, it was soooooooo great. OMG, OMG, OMG,
i’m so not going to be able to sleep now. OMG. fucking OMG. hehe, hehe, hehe,
hehe. OMG. i’m going to go out now, later all.