Not Much Time.

So I don’t have much time but I will write as much as I can in the next few minutes.

The rest of my day with Chris was GREAT!!!

We went to SalVal and Goodwill and didn’t find anything good. We also tried to go to a 1/2 price bookstore, but it was closed due to a water pipe burst or something.

So then we went to a porn store, which was just funny cause it was really small and we went in the middle of the day. We looked at stuff and I contemplated buying a dildo. I seriously would get one, a really small one, just to work on my boo tay. Though I think I might be too scared to actually purchase one.

I’d probably tell them it was for a friend lol. I would just feel weird.

We also rented Dolores Claiborne. So we went back to Chris’ and watched about half of it. It’s reallygood, I love tha tmovie. Though it really is a bit creepy.

After that, Chris started making dinner, and I went out for gas. When I got back, I saw that Chris had set out some candles and a blanket on the floor for us. I guess he was planning to have it ready for when I got back, but I came too soon. So I closed my eyes and ran to the other room. He came for me a few minutes later. I guess he thought that it was stupid, at least thats what his journal indicated. Well, I Thought it was totally sweet and totally cute. It was very thoughtful and as we sat there eating, neither of us said much, and I just spent most of the time looking at how beautiful he is, and eating my yummy food! I was so happy that my Topher would plan out something like that!!! YAY! After that, we finished watching the rest of the movie.

I’ve gotta stop now b/c I have to go to work, but a list of things to look forward to later

Gifts
The “L” word
Crying
The shower

I will update when I get home from work.
BREAK!

So Gifts??

Ok here is the contiunatin of my last update.

So gifts…. Chris got me the best, most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever gotten. He made me EVERY Cranberries CD there is…actually made with the pictures on the covers and everything. And tehre was another extra CD with all the songs they didn’t have on albums, plus a CD of the MP3s so I couldp ut it all on my computer. It was the sweetest gift ever!! He also got me the book culture jam, which I really wanted. And he gave me a photo album (which I also really wanted/needed) and he printed off all the pics of my graduation and the zoo and put thema ll in there! ALl the gifts were sooo totally sweet I couldn’t even believe it!

He truly is the best boyfriend ever!! Everyone is sooo jealous of me 🙂

So I’ll just skip to the good part 🙂 We were just laying down on his bed, talking, and I started crying. I think what set me off was Chris saying something about where has all the time gone, and then I had a panic attack about leaving, and started to cry. Pretty soon we were both crying. Eventually we seemed to compose ourselves. Chris was laying on top of me. We were talking about if he liked me or not and I was like “How much do you like me?”

And he leaned in close, and whispered in my ear,
“I love you baby.”

I started to cry again. I didn’t even know what to do. I know it was hard for him to be the first to say it. I told him that I loved him as well. Then we were both crying and I didn’t know what to do. The emotions were so strong right then.

It was insanely hard to leave that night. I just wanted to stay with my baby and make sure that everything was ok with him, and with myself. But I had to force myself out and before i left, he told me he loved me again. Oh those words mean so much to me. If only he knew!!

So in short, amazing night/day/night, and I can’t wait till tomorrow night when I can see my beautiful baby again!!!

Three Words…

The last 27 hours or so have been absolutely wonderfull!

Andrew got here about 7ish, we made supper. Some frozen chicken things, REALLY good. I had one, Andrew two. Blarg pants! Lol. After that we just hung around, he took a shower, and then I did. He joined me for part of it and that was uber hot. Though not as hot as I thought it would be. Eh, whatever!

From the shower we moved to the bed. Where I got some more rimmies and I gave him a few more as well! Also lots of dry humping in there, which I find really hot! No one has ever done that so much to me, but I find I really like it. Not as much as the real thing obviously, but it’s still really great. We both decided that it’s better in the hot tub though! Lol.

About midnight or so we both finally came, it took him longer, but then it usually does. It was still super good, and we came on him this time instead of on me. I didn’t quite like that as much though, it’s harder for me to cum standing up then laying down, I don’t know why.

Oh, there was this one spot where I was SOOO close, as in like seconds away, and then he laughed and I totally lost it, then it took forever to come back to that point, but it was all well worth it!

We went straight to bed after that.

This morning I got up late, about 8:15ish is when we finally got out of bed. I got dressed and Andrew just sat around the apartment. I left for class about 9:15ish and Andrew stayed here.

Class was so uber annoying. He went over the test in the first 30 minutes and then he acted like he was done talking. But then he went on and on tell 11:30. So Annoying. After that I went back to Andrew.

We spent a couple hours just hanging around here. We watched a few things on TV, and made lunch. After we got lunch started we exchanged our presents.

He made me open mine first, though I wanted him to open first. The first thing he got me was a Care Bear, the rainbow one. Which was my FAVORITE when I was a kid! And it’s so UBER cute. I’ve been ranting and raving about wanting one forever, all the way back from the time that I was with Adam, and he never got me one, and no one else has either. And it’s not like the little ones are all that expensive. I think it’s a really nice gift, and I’m very happy with it!

After that I didn’t think the next one could be any better, but it sure was! There’s one woman that I’ve ever seen so far that I think is cute! That’s Rachel Raye from the food network. She’s so cute, and I LOVE her show, 30 minute meals. It’s such a great thing. Well Andrew got me her BOOK! I’m in love with it, I just read some of the recipies and they all seem easy enough for me to do! I love both the gifts so much, and they’re always thoughtfull and nice!

After that we watched Rachel’s show, and then messed around with some other stuff. Once we were done with Rachel we went off to Goodwill/Usedbooking. We found goodwill alright, and Ginny is definitaly wrong, there is nothing good there. From there to find the used book store, but it was closed. The SalVal was right next door, but they didn’t have anything good either. Bastards!

So we went and got a movie from Family Video (Hello, only $.50!!!). Brought that back here and watched the first half of it! It was soooo good! I really liked the movie.

About half way through we paused it and I started supper. Andrew went and got gas for his car while I was cooking. I was hoping that I would be able to finish it and get everything together before he got back, and had the chicken cooked a little faster I would have had it done, but it took too long. I had the table all set up. A blanket on the floor in the living room, with three candles. I also wanted to go get some flowers, but I couldn’t think of a way to get those and be back before he got back.

He got back, and I finished making supper and then we ate it. I felt kinda stupid going all out like that, but I guess that he liked it. So that’s good! The food wasn’t as good as it was last time though, I don’t think the chicken was the best, and plus I used a fat free dressing and there was no sour cream, which is essential for it.

After supper we finished the movie. Again , I rant that it was GOOD!

Once the movie was over we moved into my room where we just layed in the bed talking. The whole time I was holding back tears…. Eventually they erupted. I don’t know who started it first, or how it came up, but there was another cry fest. I really hope that this doesn’t become a weekly event. That’ll be very sad, and I don’t know if I can handle that. Next Wed will be really bad though, because I won’t have anyone to cry with. :'(

We layed there crying together, and holding each other close. After a while we got ahold of ourselves, and were laying there talkinga bout liking each other. Then Andrew said, How much do you like me? And I whispered in his ear, I love you.

For the last week or so, I’ve been waiting for just the right time to tell him. There had been a couple times earlier in the that night where I wanted to tell him, but I just didn’t think it right. Finally I had found my time, and I told him that I loved him.

He started crying again, and whispered, I love you too. we layed there crying for a while longer and holding each other as close as we could. Unfortunalty he had to leave, we slowly moved our way to the door and talked some more, hugged and kissed. It was all so sad, I really didn’t want to see him go today. ::sighs:: I want my Drew Bear back now!

I don’t want to see us when we’re having to say good bye in August, or for that matter, saying goodbye this weekend. It’s going to be so bad.

Friday won’t come soon enough!

The Man

He stants in front of me. Right there, in my face. Blunt hatred, ranging loathing boils in my bones, muscles, veinds and mind. His red gleaming eyes reflect the fire in mine. Silence burns our nerves as we hold in the air that puffs out our chests. Bare and imperious, the curves of our daggers. The hair on our arms is sharp and erect. Fury breathes from our vapor as we sweat. My nostrils strain to maintain my ferocity. I will not relinquish any of my might, not even my air. We feed history to our fires. Every past incident, every forgotten moment, blazes on our sneering lips. Our cutting eyebrows, honed and greased, pull closer and closer. I can hear the pulse in my veins, on my temples, wrists and ankles. In the still of the moment, the time between each beat is a life.

The first trace of a sweat burns a line from my temple to hang on my chin, and then falls to explode on the concrete. The tension draws us closer, with my forehead now almost touching his. My muscles contract. My cails carve cresecents into my palms as I hold a fist. I pull it back; I turn my body and —

Click. Change the channel.

–Leo Kazitsky