Not Published – Page 74

“I’m Coming”

So as I said this weekend has been TONS of fun!

Friday not much happened besides what I said in the journal, hung out at Java Joe’s, walked around and talked. Just good bonding times.

Seeing Adam really made me think though, I can’t wait tell I get out of this town that’s so small that I can’t even avoid an Ex-Bf. So annoying really. I’m surprised that we avoided him as much as we have so far. It also made me really happy that I did break up with him to take a chance with Andrew. So far that chance has turned out much better then ever imagined, and I’m so happy now, and so much happier then I have been in a long time. I did however feel bad because Andrew wanted to stop and talk to Colin (I think that’s his name), but I just kept walking because I didn’t want to stop and talk to Adam, which I knew would happen if we stopped.

Adam also updated and is yet again putting things out in the public eye that he shouldn’t be, and changing what he says in the public and just manipulating alot of things, it’s really annoying me.

Anyways, back to the good stuff that happened this weekend….

Saturday was by far the best day! We laid around watching movies, something I could do for HOURS with Drew Bear. It’s just so much fun, and we always pick good movies… Minus “Drift” lol.

That night we were hanging out at my house and making out on the couch, moved up to my room and more making out, eventually he ended up naked and I literally licked him from head to toe. Foreplay is so much fun! lol, I never knew what I was missing. Anyways, making out moved to Bj’s, and after a couple minutes he was like “I’m going to come” and I didn’t beleive him cause he always says that no one can ever make him come when he’s getting a bj. So I just kept going, and then all of a sudden, I got a mouth full of cum! I was like “WTF.” But I don’t really mind come, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Although it is a big deal that I made him come with a BJ. This makes the third time I’ve made him come, so yeah. But the first with a bj, so that was just a fluke. I’m still sceptical. Who knows really.

Then he gave me a bj, and it was soooo good. Although we only had 15 minutes, so I had to finish myself to get done in time. I felt bad taking over from him, A) because I think it rude, and B) because it felt so good!

After that we cleaned up and then he went home.

Sunday we hung out again and the topic of the trip came up. Talking about it and thinking about how soon it’s coming up made me sad because I’m really going to miss him while he’s gone. I guess though it’ll be a good run through for when he leaves for college. I’m really not looking forward to that, I’m going to be Uber sad. :'(

I’m really not looking forward to him going to Cali. Our relationship is something that I’d like to see go on, it’s working out now, and I would hope that once he moves things will continue to work out. But Four months without him are going to be hard.

“The Way That I Have Been Thinking of You”

FUCK FUCK FUCK! I just had a HUGE entry here about how things were last night, and now it’s gone! Fucking shit!

Eh, to start over again….

Last night was absolutely wonderfully great, and emotion filled.

Most of it is in the normal entry for today, but as usual there are some things that can’t be said because of some people.

So we didn’t just spend the night sitting around and talking, we laid in his bed most of the night. His back to me, my arms around him, listening to Jewel. We laid there talking about random stuff, kissing, huging, we’re so cute!

There were a few times through out the night where I could feel his body tense, his breathing quicken. I could tell what he was doing, there’s only one time that your body feels that way, and tenses like his did. He was crying. I reached up from where I was, and wiped away his tears, I asked him once, “Why are you cyring” and he didn’t answer. He didn’t need to, I knew why. So I held him closer, I kissed him some more, hoping to let him know that I’m here for him and that I care for him. We laid there a while longer, with my arms around him, kissing the back of his neck. I felt him tense a couple more times in the next 45 minutes or so. Every time I would just wipe them away from his eyes, and hold him closer. He didn’t need to tell me why he was crying, I knew because I was holding back my own tears.

Finally after a while he turned and looked at me… I knew what was coming, and I’d been trying to prepare a response. For something so special, I had to have something sweet to say back to him, something to let him know that I really do care for him, and that I felt the same way…. And he said it. “I’m falling in love with you.” Even though I knew what was coming, I still wasn’t prepared for it. My mind went blank and I was speechless. It was so amazing to hear those words come out of his mouth, especially after just days before he said “I’d never be the first to say the ‘L’ word.” I held him closer and kissed him. I didn’t know what to say, and finally all I could muster up was “Is it ok to say ‘So am I’?” I felt so stupid because it’s all I could say. I wanted him to know that I really did feel that way. My feelings for him are so strong, and so emotional. Never did I feel this way for Adam, and never did I go to such lengths to be able to spend time with Adam.

After that I held him close, and held back my own tears, tears of joy. It was so hard to leave him that night, we laid in his bed until the latest that we could. And finally about 11 I had to go. He walked me up to my car and we stood there kissing and hugging for what seemed like forever, but yet, it ended all too soon. And I feel that this summer is going to end all too soon as well, and he’ll be gone for what’ll seem like an eternity.

Sunday, Sunday!

So I don’t really know how to start this….

After reading Andrew’s private entry, it just made me feel so special, and so good. The tear factory was running in full force there for a while.

So Friday was pretty normal, JJ’s, hanging out, we walked around the skywalks holding hands, so cute I’m sure. I also bet that we scared some of the janitors, but whatever. We talked about the most random things, and it was so great!

Saturday was also great. hut tubbing, talking about more randoms stuff. Kissing him, and holding him there in the hot tub. That night he got a rimmy, hope he enjoyed it! lol.

Sunday, now this is a day with emotion! He came over and we just laid in my bed for like an hour, kissing and huggin and just holding each other, it was so great. After that shopping. Then back to my house. Laying there on the couch with him was so great. I was so happy to be able to lay there with him in my arms and to just watch tv with him. Kissing the back of his neck, smelling his hair, oh so great! There were a couple times where the tears of joy flowed.

During every commercial break he would turn around and we would kiss, and I could hold him even closer. Caress his face, lean back some and look at his beautifull face. Oh heavenly. It was so sad to make him leave, but it was late and we had to go.

I can’t wait tell Wed!

No More Drama!

Ok, so this weekend was in fact TONS of greatness. Saturday like I said, we went out to Grays lake, where we sat down on the dock thing. I was amazed at some of the Parents that were there. First off, when we got there, there were these two women sitting there talking, so we went to the opposite side of the thing and sat down and talked. Before I knew it they were gone. Eh, whatever. So we sat there by ourselves for a while, just being our cute selves. Lots of people walked by, no one said anything, or did anything that we could see. EVentually two more women came down and sat there for a long time. Drew Bear and I talked about what we thought people did when they were with their children and saw us, or even when it was just them and they saw us. Did they turn and go the other way, did they say something under thier breath, etc. After about an hour of being there, we heard our first derogatory remarks. Made by some stupid white trash kids as they rode their bikes by. And they also waited tell they were FAR out of our reach to yell at us. Shortly after that happened the other two women got up and left. I was amazed that it took so long for something to happen….

But after that something else happened that made up for the deragatory terms. A father and his small girl were rollerblading around, and I would assume that the girl asked to come down to where we were and play in the lake. And he let her! I know this might SEEM like a small thing, but in my eyes that’s a very big step, and it shows that he’s probably a pretty good father. When I saw them coming down I figured that he’d probably at least take her so that she’s as far away from the “homo’s” as possilbe, and also probably have her face away from us. But he actually led her out closer to us, and he also had her facing us! I dunno, this just seems really cool to me!

Blah blah blah, At Perkins we hung around and talked for a while, and had a really good convo. We talked about some really random things and made fun of the gay boi that had brought his prom date to Perkins for dinner. hehe. After that to the girls, where we were cute again! We’re soooo cute! I guess everyone has to have one ugly before a cutie, eh?!?! After that to Ames. When we got there, I was SOOO tired that I just wanted to colapse. But somehow I/we managed up the strength (But then again, who couldn’t when you’ve got such a cutie) to kiss him, which led to other things, which led to me jacking him off again, and him cumming. But this time in my HAIR! Bastard. lol. Then I jacked myself off, and I came as well. Good times. We cleaned up and then went to bed.

Sunday we got up and I showered and got dressed, but Drew just showered and then walked around all day in his gap pants, and no shirt. Ohhh, I can’t get over how hot he is! Rarrr at my Drew Bear. I know that I go on and on about how hot he is, but I’m really not that shallow. He’s also very hot mentally. And it makes me so happy that he’s such a smart boi, and that he’s so financially stable/secure. Something I definitally need. I don’t want anymore of that shit that Adam put me through with his financial stupidness. Anyways, back to Drew. He’s so menatlly stimulating, and I hope that I am for him as well, and that I’m not just a hot body (S, since I’m not a hot body), lol.

It was sad when he finally put his shirt on and we had to leave. So sad. Then we got to his house and it was very wierd dropping him off there and kissing him right infront of his house. But I’m sure I can get over that! lol.

Oh, he came a second time in there somewhere, he did that himself. I didn’t cum again, because I didn’t want to. I was happier just holding him, and kissing him, and showing that I cared for him. And I hope that he felt the same.

I want to write about how many problems Adam’s been causeing, but I don’t want to fuck up a good, happy entry. So that’ll be later.

Adam Trying To Be Nice.

—- New Conversation @ Mon Apr 28 15:29:47 2003 —-

(15:29:47) AcerSai: INstead of leaving a comment on your journal and leaving it in a public area, I chose to call/IM you instead, personally. I’m not trying to make this any harder on you guys than need be, but in the same breath it’s not easy for me either. That’s why I chose to just turn and walk away. If I had known my LJ update would offend you guys I would have made it more clear that it wasn’t directed at you, which it truly was not. Now I’d like to see us come to a point where there is no blind hatred between us. While a friendship is more or less out of the question, hatred isn’t the only other alternative. I don’t want to talk shit about you to other people and the same visa versa. The yuckiness needs to end. If you want to talk one on one about everything, and get it all off our chests so we can both move on with our lives more easily I would be all for that. If not, I won’t be upset. I’m fine with just going out seperate ways. You know how to find me, and you can IM me back. I don’t plan to bite your head off and be an asshold to either of you provided you agree to give me the same respect. From here on out.
(15:32:10) AcerSai: But I do ask that if we work things out, or contact eachother in any way, we do it in a private way. I think we’re all guilty of bringin in third parties. Which is the main reason things are as bad as they are. This is not something for the online journals. This is between us. I plan to keep it that way from now on. I’d ask you to do the same.