Category: My Life

Feb 11, 2001

so yeah, should be doing hw yet, i actually got it out,

and put up an away message, then i was like, hmm, maybe i’ll update my page

some, lol. so here i am updateing my page. so i realized something bout myself

last night, and i didn’t like it. not at all. nope. well it was really messed

up ast night. so i was in bed, and the phone rang, and it was some drunk jerk,

he got the wrong number, so i just hung up on him, cause he was totally incomprehensive.

so then just after i hung up the phone rang again. it was danny, doing his

thing, where he calls and doesn’t talk. so i looked he was signed in so i

went and started talking to him. but yeah, somehow him and julian started

talking. it was just freaky. ok so this makes no sense, i’m going to go do

hw, maybe i’ll fix it later. so yeah, it’s like 1 or so and i’ve been up since

10. i haven’t gotten any hw done, i got the books out, but that’s all. i did

get my webcam working again :-P. someone should be happy, lol. but i’ve been

thinking again, and maybe it’s just me, but it’s odd. yeah, i just feel like

i know nothing about danny, i know alot about him, but i feel like i know

nothing. it’s odd, maybe it’s just me. salads are good. so yeah, instead of

doing my hw like i should have, i got an urge to clean shit out, i get these

everyonce in a while, you know, just start trowing all your old shit away.

well i found my 2000 yearbook and sat down looking trough it. it’s so depresing.

i hated hs, it was really depressing. and now when i look back at it it’s

even more depressing. i hated hs.

Feb 10, 2001

yeah so i should be doing HW now. but i just don’t have

the motivation to do it, lol. i really haven’t got shit done today. it’s been

a crappy ass day. i watched qaf the first two shows today. everytime i watch

it i see more of it, you know realise more. it’s like WOW, i haven’t seen

that before, lol. it gets funnier everytime i watch it to, lol. haven’t seen

danny yet today, and it’s getting kinda late. we talked for a couple minutes

last night, he was on a payphone, getting chinese food again. i had this craving

the other day for chinese food, and then like 5 minutes later he called and

was like i’m going to get chinese tonight, i was like, WTF, lol, it was cool.

so yeah, Hw, maybe i’ll get to it yet tonight, i dunno. i’m tired.

Feb 8, 2001

so it’s been a long day. last night was

really good though i talked to danny for like 3 hours, 3 and a half i dunno,

it was long, but really nice. i love talking to him, he’s got the cutetest

voice, lol. i just wanna kiss him everytime he talks, lol. but yeah, it was

cool. we talked tell well after midnight and then i just layed there in bed

thinking. bout him, bout what we talked about, it was some pretty cool stuff,

lol. but i can’t imagine myself at 60 and still listening to the same type

of music that we currently listen too, lol. but yeah, i’m so fucking tired,

i got maybe 3 hours of sleep, which isn’t much for me considering i ususally

get a full 6 hours min. lol. what a dork i know, but you don’t want to know

me if i don’t get enough sleep. lol. i can get reallly pissy, very easily.

lol. it’s snowing here again, damn snow, we’ve got like 8 inches in the last

couple days and it’s supposed to keep snowing all day today and trough tomorrow.

yucky. i think i should take a nap, but then my thought process

will get fucked up. you know, you take a nap in the middle of the day. and

then when you wake up it’s like is this morning of the next day or night of

the same day. andi just get really messed. i’m to tired to explain it. i wish

i could go to philly so bad. i really do.

Feb 6, 2001

so i just got out of my first class for the day, american

government, and today we had this debate all day and he just trough out subjects,

one of them was gay marriage. you would not beleive what some of these people

said. he phrased the question so it was more of for government tax purposes

etc, you know. but these people are so fucking stupid. they were like “churches

don’t recongnize them.” and people were just being all stupid. one person

even said “they’re fags who cares” and people fucking laughed at

that. i was bout ready to scream. but i didn’t. AHHHHHH, this is one fucked

up state. ok so today, well lately, i’ve been really depressed. again. i don’t

know it’s like i go into and come out of these things. i have so much Hw to

do, but i don’t want to do it, cause it’s all busy work. i have to type up

that bill for that stupid class yet, and i have to change the damn program

now, that stupid bastard. and i have to read four chapters in american gov,

and read a chapter and do some HW in accoungint. i wanna talk to danny. i

wish i had money, i wish i could just say screw this semester and go out there

and get a job or something. this state is really getting to me again. people.

people are strange, i think that hink this morning just really set me off

again. but i’ve been depressed alot for the last couple days. i think i’m

hooked on danny and his voice. t’s so sweet and cute. and i love the way he

says nuttin, it’s so damn cute. lol. and he knows it lol. i’m so out of it today. it’s like i keep thinking it’s wed and it’s not it’s only tues and

shit. i’m going to my cousins on the 16th. that should be ok, i don’t know

what we’ll do though. and then i get back on the 19th and danny leaves on

the 19th for i think he said just a couple days but then he’ll be leaving

again so it’ll be like a whole week before i get to see or talk tohim really.

i’m so sad. people annoy me. roomies are assholes too. just so you know. i

can’t wait tell iget out of here. oh hey did i mention that i got accepter

to UNL. but i don’t know if i’ll go there, i would rather go to cali. ya know

i don’t get my PU’s over christmas they were like. if you want to go to an

out of state school you’ll have to start paying 60% of the tution, but they

they were like, but this is the time to get out of here if you want to. i

was like WTF? so your limiting where i can go, but you’re telling me that

this is “the time” to get out, cause “later i’ll have a family

and it will be hard to move” damnit, i sofucking want to tell them. but

i know that’ll really put a cap on my college payments, lol. i was talkig

to my mom on the phone the other night, it was just after i hung up from danny

and i was in a really good mood. and she’s like “why you so happy”

and i just wanted so bad to tell here “cause i just got off the phone

with someone i really love” but i can’t damnit. but you know i called

him the other day, so i’m going to have to come up with some explaination

for that. hmmm. wonder what i’ll do.

Feb 5, 2001

so yeah, teachers are ass holes. i’ve got this one teacher

for programming, and he doesn’t know how to program. bastard. you know one

of the major things they teach in programming classes is that there’s more

then one way to find the answer to a problem. well i took a different route

then the rest of the class, not the most efficient route, no, but it was different,

and that’s one of the things that i think makes programming fun, is finding

different ways to fix the problem, well you know what the bastard did, cause

i was differnt, he took 5 points off my assingment, the fucker. mother fucking

bastard, last time he took points of cause i didn’t follow the “proper”

programming techniques, they claim that we should use prefixes for our variales,

like “int” for integer, “chr” for char, “str”

for string, etc. you know that just makes it harder for me to program cause

i don’tgive a fuck about the damn prefixes, i just want to call them like

adder, for something that adds, and thingy for temp variables, i know what

they do, and it’s not that hard to figure out what they do, cause for things

that are used alot i use things that make sence. like statenames, for something

that stores state names. bastard, i fucking hate him. he doesn’t really know

what programming is, he has a fucking Ph.D. in history, why the fuck is he

teaching programming? bastrad. ok so some good things happen too. this weekend

was so great, i spent tons of time on the phone with danny, it was so nice.

i love his voice. but satnight i was really depressed. it was really pretty

here, there was low cloud cover and the lights from the city were just lighting

everything up, it looked like there was a full moon, i love night like that.

and i was so depressed cause i wanted him here to share it with, damnit. hehe,

and then there was this time he was at the mall and called, and he was like

‘wanna talk to my parents” and i was like no. hehe, that would have been

funny shit. lol. but we lost internet connection here for a bit and i was

in the middle of talking to him online when it happened. so i was like “FUCK

i don’t want him thinking i just left” so i came back to my room and

looked up my access code and called the “old” number i had for him,

and sure enough he answered, hehe, that was funny, hope i didn’t get him in

too much trouble, he said he told his PU’s i was just a friend, so yeah. lol.

that was great, i finally got to surprise him for once, lol. but yeah, it’s

been a good weekend, i got all my accounting done, and then i wrote the next

program, following EVERY fucking thing that we are supposed to do, so if this

bastard fucking docks points i’m going to be one pissed off mother fucker.

lol. i sitll have to write that bill that’s due on thurs. but that shouldn’t

be to hard. yeah. ya know my roomie is really starting to piss me off to.

he’s been sleeping tell like 5 in the afternoon and it really sucks cause

i can’t listen to my music or open the curtians or anything, damnit. he missed

all his classes today, hehe, i hope he gets in trouble for it, he’s on Academic

probation, so he can’t miss any classes lol.