Category: My Life

Loneliness and Technology

Forty year old Joyce Vincent had been lying dead in her London apartment for two straight years before the badly decomposed body was discovered by her landlord in April 2006. The story, quietly tucked away in British newspapers, profoundly upset readers around the world who saw her isolation as a failing of modern communities. As one outraged blogger put it, Two years. She lay there. Alone, dead, unnoticed, and unmissed. How is it possible that in a city of about seven million, not one person noticed that a neighbor, sister, cousin or friend was missing?

How, indeed: in an era of advanced communication technologies in which loved ones can be reached with a few clicks of a mouse or dial of a phone, it seems implausible that the number of solitary deaths have been on the rise in countries like the UK and Japan in recent years. Alienation, dubbed the great emotional sickness of our era by Italian filmmaker Michaelangelo Antonioni, remains a disease that even email, cell phones and online networking has been powerless to remedy. These days, some experts are even suggesting that our social bonds may be breaking down not in spite of these new technologies, but because of it.

A decade ago, when many North Americans were still just starting to go online, Apple, AT&T, Hewlett Packard and Intel funded a research project by Washington University to study the psychological and social effects of using the Internet. While most first-time users went online for social purposes, the studies showed a rapid decline in participation for social activities beyond the net and increases in depression and loneliness. While magazines like Fortune and BusinessWeek boasted the virtues of interactive sites such as MySpace and YouTube, most internet users were found to be joining fewer clubs, talking less in-person and hanging out with friends less often. While new tools were allowing people to network faster than ever, studies around the world have pointed to the shrinking social circles of tech-savvy consumers. A June 2006 study by Duke University concluded that the average American today only has two close confidants, while SwissCom Inc. found that 80 percent of all cell phone conversations took place with only four people.

Some critics have rebuffed the suggestion that technology has eroded traditional human bonds, noting that the interaction is simply taking place in different forms. What it’s really doing is shifting the means of socializing, says Barry Wellman, a sociology professor at the University of Toronto. In other words, the seemingly quiet and withdrawn teenager at family dinners could in fact be a witty conversationalist in online forums. This didn’t necessarily make her anti-social; it was simply a different mode of communication. While heavy internet users were spending less time with family and friends offline, they were keeping more regular contact through cell phone calls and email. The Internet has moreover been a godsend for some people who lacked opportunities for human contact, such as the elderly and disabled. Vilify it though we may, technology has so far played an invaluable role in keeping people integrated.

In themselves, email and cell phones are only a small part of the broader causes of loneliness in modern society. What these tools have done, however, is fundamentally change the nature of our communication with other people. While our new tools grant us the convenience of talking from a distance over a screen, they also exempt us from the intimacy that comes with face-to-face communication. The subtle nuances of facial expressions and body language are lost, and in return, we are spared the awkwardness and inconveniences of in-person meetings.

There is something trying, even exhausting, about human interactions, writes Laura Pappano in her book, The Connection Gap. Why meet when you can e-mail? And digital video makes it seem like you’re there. Right? While interviewing a terminally ill woman who chatted online to escape loneliness, however, Pappano discovered that the woman gradually grew cynical of the superficial interactions with her friends’ to them, she was merely a name on a screen, disembodied from her cancer and the world around her. They didn’t perceive the pain in her eyes or voice as she communicated with them. Her life and death had no impact on their conscience.

I don’t want useless sounds. I want to select them, complains Monica Vitti’s character in Antonioni’s 1964 film, La Notte. In today’s age of virtual communication, it has become all too easy for people to select and filter out the voices they don’t want to hear. It’s a world in which voices of isolated, impoverished individuals like Joyce Vincent all too easily lose their place. In the last hour before her death, Vincent surrounded herself with unopened Christmas presents and drowned out the silence with sounds from her TV set a parting reminder to herself, perhaps, that she was still connected to a society that had long forgotten about her.

Jenny Uechi

Meri vs Mary

A while back I was listening to Dr Laura again… This woman called in bitching that her name was “Meri” and she was SOOO tired of spelling it. Get over it woman! It’s not a big fucking deal. Do you know how much I have to spell my last name!? My last name is a fucking COLOR for gods sake! AND STILL people need it spelled for them! She said that she wanted to be unique and “herself”, she didn’t like the name her mother gave her. Stupid people.

What American accent do you have?

Your Result: North Central
 

“North Central” is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw “Fargo” you probably didn’t think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
The Midland
 
The West
 
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The Northeast
 
What American accent do you have?
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I know nothing has happened yet and it could be even a YEAR before anything does happen, but I’m already freaking out about this building being sold. I did the math and at the price it’s being sold for. There’s NO WAY you can make money at the current income level (In fact you’d lose about $100k a year). Which means that as soon as it’s sold. We’ll all be outta here. IE Moving again. I started looking today and there’s nothig good. Plus if I move again, the company has already made it clear they would like me back down in the Newport Beach office.

In general I’m not happy here. But I now LOVE where I live. When I was living down there I hated it. I’m not sure I can go back to living down there. Plus then I’d have to go back to making new friends down there, etc etc etc. Plus the cost of moving again. UGH! I hope that he can’t find a buyer. But it really explains a lot. I had an idea back when I moved in that’s probably what he was going to do. But now it’s all confirmed.

This mess also throws a wrench in my plans. I really wanted to get back into school. A language class this spring and then maybe start my MBA this fall. But alas, now I’m not even sure I should go to the spring classes because I might have to up and leave in the middle!

I did talk to my boss yesterday about starting my MBA, he sounded thrilled that I wanted to, and said that the company would be more then willing to work around any school schedule. Just as long as I get my work done.

Last night I watched Little Miss Sunshine and then Nic came over again. We were chatting online and he basically BEGGED to come over. So I allowed it even though I was in my PJs. We hung out and watched Trading Spouses. I can never get over how crazy that show is. I had a good time at least. While we were saying bye, I thought he was going to move in for a kiss. But he didn’t, maybe next time.

I went to bed after he left and someone called me at 10pm. I had applied for this part-time job as a Project Manager in Newport Beach, they were calling me back to do interviews at 10pm! So we talked for a while, it sounds really fun and interesting, but they were just going to require too much time.

The internet here in my Cube has been broken since Saturday AND Sunday when I came into the office. So I’ve been stealing Wireless from somewhere else. It’s very annoying because I called the HD yesterday and they said they would look into it. This was after I’d already wasted two hours waiting for them to get into the office. An hour later they call and say “It should all be working, we can’t find any problems.” So I tell them it’s clearly not working yet and she says she’ll have to talk to her supervisor. Another hour goes by, still nothing. So I talk to my boss and he tells me to just go home. Of course they call like 10 minutes after I leave again saying that they can’t find anything wrong! Clearly they DIDN’T even COME to my cube to see what the problem was! I come in this morning. and it’s STILL NOT WORKING! (Yes, I have access to the INTERNET, but whoever I’m stealing wireless from has VPN blocked, which is what I need to do work. So I can sit here and browse the internet all day, but I can’t do any real work.)

I’m starting to really notice some great differences in my arms and chest from going to the gym. I’m enjoying flexing in the mirror at home. 🙂 I’ve also started picking up running more. I’m doing between 12-15 minutes each day I hit the gym. Which for me is just over a mile of running. The longest I’ve ever ran for in my life! haha. The only problem is that once I hit that time frame I get bored and just stop. Also the last month or so there’s been these three older ladies who go to the gym every MWF just like me.. And EVERY time they go there, it’s the same thing for each machine. “I forget how to do this”…”How much weight are we supposed to use”…”Am I doing this right”. For gods sake, remember people! Write it down, jesus! It’s soo annoying. And then there’s this other REALLY big guy who always wears this really dark sunglasses and spends the whole time talking on his cell phone. Just annoying.

I haven’t heard back from my realtor about the place in Iowa. I’m guessing that’s bad news, or the sellers are just holding out to see if they get a better offer. My dad is heading out this week to look at some more places which based on the numbers look better. But we shall see. One of them is basically next door to my Aunt, that could be a little strange.

MacWorld San Francisco is today. I’m very excited for some of the rumored products. The “iPhone” is cool, and would be revolutionary for the industry, but probably won’t be something I get. The “iTV” on the other hand is something that looks REALLY cool and would totally be something I’d get at the right price and if it integrates into my existing streaming media setup!

I know I’ve complained about this before, that there wasn’t any good Torrent clients for the Mac… Well behold! XTorrent! I LOVE it. It’s still in beta, so I’m hoping they will be adding more features, like IP blocking, file skipping, etc. But it’s a clean and amazing interface. And with the built in search functions! Oh. I’m in heaven. I don’t like that you have to pay for it, but as long as they add the missing features I would gladly pay for it.

Last Wed I went out with this guy Hector to Here (Go read about it). We’ve always hung out as just friends and just to chill. I met him a little under a month ago. Anyways, I talked to him last Thrusday on AIM, and then this weekend I was out and about so didn’t really talk to him. Sunday night I noticed that one of my friends was suddenly awol from myspace. So I start looking around but all the people that I figured would be deleting me were still there (IE Mayko). So I didn’t really pay too much attention. Well Yesterday I go to AIM Hector, it says he’s offline for my main account, but online for my secondary and third AIM accounts.. Very strange. So I check my myspace friends again. He’s gone! WTF?! I txt message him.. “Why did you delete me from myspace and block me from AIM?”… No Reply… So I send him a myspace message.. “what did i do to you to deserve being ignored!?”… NOTHING! Seriosuly what is wrong with people. I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to him. NOTHING AT ALL! We hung out last wed and had a good time, and now he’s completely ignoring me?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE! UGH

This friday is Guerrilla Gay Bar. So everyone mark your calendars and come join me!

Sorry for such a long entry! Adios!

Boys Lie!

So last night I was talking to this guy who recently moved here from TN. I was bitching about how I had been talking to this other guy who thought I was crazy that sex was an expression of Love. I had just seen Latter Days again and was on about the whole “Equate sex to a handshake” thing.

Anyways, he was all like. “I totally agree with you, blah blah blah”. So to test him, I got on my fake a4a profile and messaged him: “what up? you ever top?”…. To which he replies. “Hey man, yeah I top, especially for someone hot like you. Do you have myspace or AIM?”.. UGH! Boys.

This weekend has been packed. Mayko actually invited me out to WeHo on Saturday night. I didn’t go.

Friday I hung out with Bryan. Not sure if it was considered a date or not. But who knows. I now LOVE Casa Arigato The two of us ate sushi for only $20.. And I mean a LOT of sushi. Half Price! YAY! After that we drove to the mall, but there were no good movies playing, so we came back to mine and watched one.

Saturday I had a breakfast date, so-so. A lunch meeting, and then a coffee date. So that was fun. Busy!

Sunday I biked 40 miles. Had a date with this guy Nic who’s been bugging me to hang out. He was SOOO cute and so nice!! He’s like 6’4″ and just moved here from OK. Hopefully he and I can hang out again soon. 🙂 I invited him over to just watch a movie cause I was soooo tired. But once the movie was over I was having such a good time, I didn’t want him to leave, so we went out to dinner and then came back to mine. He ended up being there for like 5 hours total. lol.

I finially bought all my shit on Bestbuy.com. After going to two other stores and not finding what I want. Of course online said that the stuff I wanted was in ALL the stores I went too! Bastards.

I found out this weekend that my building and the one next door is for sale. $5 million dollars for just under half an acre of land. Crazyness. The listings say they are for development. Which means they would tear down the buildings here now and rebuild. UGH! So look for me moving soon.

I’m sooo annoyed by this! Anyone wanna go in and buy the place with me? Just need a few more… HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars for the down payment!